It's Too Late for Regrets - Chapter 10.11

As all the threatening things left his hands, Ines pushed him down and made him sit on the floor.

 

She picked up the cloth he had barely used and began wiping away the remaining bloodstains.

 

From his blood-soaked hands to his arms, and around the wound. The wet cloth quickly got dirty, so she had to tear the sheet several times to continue.

 

“…”

 

After wiping off all the blood that had already begun to harden, only then did his firm body reveal itself.

 

It was a steel-like body, made of something completely different from hers. No matter how hard she scratched, it wouldn’t even leave a mark.

 

A deep gash opening wide on the shoulder of such a man looked terribly out of place.

 

He was someone who kept shamelessly approaching no matter how many times she pushed him away, and she had thought that even stabbing him wouldn’t draw a single drop of blood…

 

Now, instead of bleeding, the wound had turned red and swollen with burns, and pus was oozing out.

 

Her touch wasn’t particularly gentle, so it must have been terribly painful, but whether he didn’t feel it or was enduring it, Rayan didn’t let out a single groan.

 

Each time her hand holding the cloth brushed near his chest, only his fingers twitched slightly. Even so, it was as if he couldn’t miss a single thing about her—he followed her every move with his eyes.

 

‘…What should I do now…?’

 

After cleaning up the blood, Ines sighed in frustration as she looked at the nasty shoulder wound.

 

She had at least cleaned the area around the injury, but she didn’t know how to wrap it properly.

 

As Ines hesitated, holding the cloth for a while and fumbling, Rayan, unable to bear it, gently held her hand.

 

“That’s not how you do it. Like this.”

 

“…You know it well. Then why don’t you do it, Your Highness….”

 

But as soon as Rayan raised his right hand, blood started seeping from the wound again, so Ines couldn’t pull her hand away.

 

Each time she wrapped the cloth behind his shoulder, she had to move in close, almost hugging him.

 

Focused on tying the knot with his guidance, Ines didn’t notice Rayan’s gaze properly.

 

“If you want to hurt yourself, at least do it where I can’t see you. Don’t ever threaten me like this again.”

 

“…Then will you stay where I want you to?”

 

“I said I would…. If you want me to stay here, then please don’t do what I asked you not to.”

 

Even Caesar would be less childish than this man.

 

She must have been biting her lip hard without realizing it. His left hand suddenly reached out and rubbed her lips.

 

“Don’t bite. You’ll bleed.”

 

Ines paused, forgetting to check if there were any loose ends.

 

She tried to turn her head, but he stubbornly wiped all the blood off her lips.

 

“If you have the strength to worry about this, then your shoulder…”

 

When she pushed his chest a little irritably, his Adam’s apple jolted. His fists clenched tight after scraping the floor, veins rising.

 

At first, she thought it was because of the shoulder pain, but Ines soon sensed something was off.

 

His dark green eyes, half-shut, dropped down then came back up, his eyelids opening and closing repeatedly.

 

‘Where is he looking…?’

 

Ines instinctively followed his gaze and gasped.

 

The thin silk clung to her chest and thighs, revealing her curves.

 

And somehow she had come this close—she was sitting between his spread thighs.

 

It was dangerously close.

 

Even injured, his overwhelming body filled her vision, as if he could still easily overpower her.

 

His bare body smelled faintly of blood and rain.

 

The moment she realized that, heat enveloped her, more than what she felt near the fireplace.

 

Before she could pull away, he reached out first.

 

“…!”

 

She was startled, but the touch wasn’t urgent or forceful.

 

It seemed like he was thinking carefully about how to remove the hand that was still grabbing his arm in the safest way.

 

His large hand hovered on the back of hers for a long time, then finally linked one finger with hers.

 

“…Still cold. Like ice.”

 

As hot as she felt he was, to him, all her chill seemed to transfer directly. The stark difference made her dizzy.

 

“I’m definitely breathing like this, but it feels like nothing’s changed.”

 

He leaned down and brought her hand to his cheek.

 

He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, feeling the steady pulse in her wrist.

 

His hand only brushed the frills on her chemise, not her body. But still, her legs and stomach tensed involuntarily.

 

“Ha…”

 

His long, unsteady breath brushed dangerously close to her arm.

 

“Ines.”

 

“….”

 

“Can I hug you just once?”

 

“…You already did.”

 

“Just once more.”

 

Rayan whispered in a quick and desperate voice.

 

“If I hug you one more time, I think I’ll be sure.”

 

“Sure of what?”

 

“That this isn’t a dream.”

 

Her figure reflected again in his green eyes. It was the same probing gaze that had once made her feel completely exposed, but at this moment, it seemed different.

 

It wasn’t to read her thoughts, but as if to confirm her very existence.

 

The hand that had only wandered around her finally wrapped around her waist. To him, she was no different from an ice sculpture that could melt at any moment from his heat.

 

“You being this vivid, you breathing while looking at me, me being able to touch you…”

 

Tears, which he thought had dried up, began to wet his beautiful face again.

 

“That this isn’t a dream or illusion…”

 

Ines looked at him in an unclear state—neither fully embraced nor completely apart.

 

A wounded, curled-up beast. That was the only way to describe the current Grand Duke.

 

Short breaths, a heated voice, hands that clung desperately to her clothes yet only hovered barely over her skin.

 

He grabbed and released her loosened dress hem again and again, but never tried to force her.

 

Still, because of the basic difference in their physiques, Ines couldn’t shake the feeling that she was trapped.

 

It took a long time for Rayan’s trembling shoulders to calm down.

 

During that time, Ines was lost in her conflicting emotions.

 

Her instinctive fear and rejection of Rayan Eleanor remained strong. His large body and shameless pleading still felt like an unpleasant act to her.

 

Yet at the same time, Ines felt that he was… pitiful.

 

<Your love is a lie. Even if I don’t remember anything, I can tell that much.>

 

She had clearly thought that way just this morning. That his obsession with her was no more than guilt at best.

 

But now, she wasn’t so sure.

 

Ines murmured to herself,

 

“When I died… it must’ve been really hard for you.”

 

“I wanted to die.”

 

“Why?”

 

Rayan moved his lips soundlessly. Why? The answer came in a rush.

 

Because I felt sorry to you.

 

Because I was finally ready to love you only after you died, and by then, you weren’t by my side anymore.

 

Because the sins I had committed choked me.

 

Because I regretted every moment I had with you so much it drove me mad. It was unbearably painful and miserable knowing I was the reason for your suffering.

 

And yet, I still thought of chasing you beyond death. I shamelessly couldn’t let you go…

 

“….”

 

But in this moment, having barely earned one hug at the cost of his shoulder, he was too scared to speak of past sins and ask for forgiveness.

 

He didn’t want to ruin this dreamlike moment. Not after finally getting her back.

 

Not after finally gaining this time again…

 

So Rayan forced out the screaming in his heart into just one sentence.

 

“Because I love you too much.”

 

“….”

 

“Because I love you so much, every moment without you was pain.”

 

This was not a lie…

 

Rayan used that truth to justify his cowardice.

 

But no response came from Ines. That silence felt like an answer—as if she had seen right through him.

 

“…You should change clothes.

 

You’re too wet.”

 

Rayan bit his lip and slowly pulled away from her. He couldn’t bear to meet her eyes and turned his head in a hurry.

 

“I’ll go find something for you to wear.”

 

“…Alright.”

 

Ines quietly let him lead her to sit by the fireplace. Her blue eyes didn’t return to him again.

 

Rayan fled up the stairs as if running away.

 

Only then did he think,

 

Did she notice… my lie?

 

Did she figure it out?

 

His heart pounded like the ground under a stampede of hundreds of buffalo.

 

He clenched his fists anxiously, digging his nails into his palms.

 

As anxiety soared, his thoughts turned dark.

 

‘…Should I tie her up… or maybe… somewhere else…’

 

He looked down at his body. Seeing that Ines at least responded in some way, maybe it hadn’t been a bad idea.

 

What use was taking an unbroken body into a coffin? It would all become useless anyway.

 

But then a voice, full of disgust, echoed in his mind.

 

<If you want me to stay here, then please don’t do what I asked you not to.>

 

“….”

 

Then… maybe just the key to the cabin…

 

The dark thoughts finally reached a destination. His hand trembled slightly as he picked up the key.

 

But the peace he had barely found didn’t last long.

 

When Rayan came back down with clothes for her to change into, a towel, and a small sack of oatmeal—

 

He found Ines collapsed, as if dead.