It was a Political Marriage, But I’m Being Loved - Chapter 31

She had spent the entire night wide awake.

When her maid informed her that the Empress had taken over all wedding preparations, Charlize didn’t even consider going to check. She stayed curled up in bed and gave the excuse that she was still too shaken up from yesterday.

When they said they’d summon the royal physician, she stopped them. She even skipped breakfast.

“Skipping breakfast… I’m not Korean anymore.”

She smirked faintly at the thought. Her reddish hair, streaked with pink, had already set her apart from being Korean long ago. Still, it was a comforting thought. Charlize turned her face into the pillow, her mind drifting to the words Achilles had whispered to her, voice full of desperation.

“I love you, Lize.”

She kept turning the memory over in her head.

I think he really does like me…

If love lasted forever, if it were some immortal, undying thing, then there’d be nothing to be afraid of. But this was reality. And in reality, love was short-lived.

At best? Three years.

Longer if you nurtured it—fed it with effort and kindness. That happened sometimes.

Sure, there are exceptions.

She would know—after all, she had spent over ten years mistaking scraps of kindness and polite indifference for affection. She’d fallen in love with the illusion of love. So yes, she knew there were exceptions.

But Charlize believed her luck had run out—used up the moment she was born a princess and again when she retained memories of her past life.

Don’t be fooled by love. Love doesn’t make everything happy.

Maybe it made the world look more beautiful. But happiness? That was something else entirely.

Even when in love, hunger gnawed at your stomach, and pain still hurt. She knew what it meant to live with an empty belly and aching limbs. She knew what it was like to work while sick, only to have every coin taken from her.

To be betrayed and used by someone you loved—that would be even worse.

Achilles won’t give up easily. He must have realized I had that power when I was very young. He’s been waiting ever since. Waiting to take me.

So, there was only one option.

She would give him exactly what he wanted. Let him have it, and hope he’d lose interest. That was the only way she might be safe.

Because his affection was clearly based on that interest. Once the mystery was gone—once her usefulness was exhausted—he would stop loving her.

Maybe I’m just not someone who gets to be loved.

It wasn’t that no one cared for her at all. Her parents, her brother—they cared. But there were always things, people, dreams they loved more. She was never the first on anyone’s list.

I thought he might be different…

She had hoped—quietly, foolishly—that Achilles would make her his first. That she might one day do the same for him.

If they married, she had imagined putting him first in her life.

“Ugh! Reality is always garbage!”

Forget the Tower Master. Forget the Viscount. She would erase every man from her life and make herself happy.

Who needed men anyway? The world wasn’t made of love!

She sprang out of bed with new resolve.

If she wanted to push Achilles away, she had to act now. And there was only one conclusion.

Let him do his research. Whatever it is—I’ll let him.

Achilles often visited the princess’s palace.

But Charlize walking to the Tower Master’s residence—the imperial guesthouse—was unusual.

The servants watched her with wide eyes, curious and cautious. She didn’t look like a bride going to see her betrothed. She wore an expression of steel-clad determination.

Has she made a decision about the marriage?

That would make sense. After all, the one staying in that guesthouse had been brooding in a dark cloud since the night before.

His face never changed—always emotionless—but his eyes had become heavier, gloomier. The weight of his mood was visible in the way he sat, stood, breathed.

He wasn’t someone the attendants dared approach. They simply watched in silence.

“Tell the Tower Master I’m here.”

At Charlize’s command, the servant bowed deeply and nodded. Even though the Tower Master rarely showed it openly, when it came to the princess, he always found a way to appear. Like magic—one blink, and he’d be by her side.

He must be thrilled to hear this!

The servants were certain—whatever gloom had taken hold of him lately, it had to be about the princess. She was at the heart of every change he’d gone through recently.

His door was shut tight.

No one dared open it unless granted permission, so the servant stood outside and called out.

“Tower Master. Her Highness the Princess has come to see you!”

There was no reply.

Perhaps he hadn’t heard, or maybe he wasn’t inside at all. He never told the staff where he was going.

So, the servant raised his voice and called again—

“Tower Master! Her Highness, the Prin—!”

With a loud creak, the door flung open—and Achilles stepped out.

His amber eyes, which had been dulled and shadowed, now sparkled with new life. His face remained expressionless, yet something about him looked… lighter. Brighter. It was strange, but unmistakable.

“Where is she?”

“I’ll take you to her,” the attendant said quickly, hurrying to lead the way. Achilles followed with long strides.

Charlize wasn’t waiting in the reception room prepared for palace guests—she had gone out to the garden.

The moment Achilles realized that, a strange tension tightened in his chest. Is she afraid to be alone with me indoors? he wondered. Is that why she’s chosen the open garden?

But for Charlize, it was nothing so heavy.

She simply wanted to see the garden again. Guests weren’t allowed to walk freely in the guest wing unless someone was staying there. It had been a long time.

“The Tower Master has arrived,” one of the handmaids whispered.

Charlize turned around.

Though only a night had passed, Achilles looked as if he’d aged in her absence. His gaze, once sharp and direct, now appeared dimmed and uncertain.

“…I missed you, Princess.”

He approached, reaching out—and for a second, she thought he might embrace her. But instead, he stopped precisely five steps away, eyes lowered.

The attendant who had guided him glanced awkwardly between them, then silently backed away. Her own handmaids and attendants followed suit, quietly retreating.

Cowards. Don’t run!

Charlize wanted to shout at them, but held her tongue. Despite his height and imposing presence, Achilles looked almost like a cornered rabbit. Maybe it was the way the sunlight caught on his silver-blue hair.

He’s the one who caused all this…

And yet, she felt like she was the one being harsh.

“Why are you just standing there? You said you missed me.”

She knew she wasn’t supposed to give in to him—not when she had come here to kill his curiosity, not feed it. But the look in his eyes made her waver.

“May I… come closer?”

She gave a small nod, and Achilles stepped forward, slowly, deliberately.

Once in front of her, he looked down, and the way he stared made it hard to breathe. Charlize turned her head, unable to meet his gaze. The light faded from his golden eyes, replaced by a deep, sorrowful shadow.

“…Is it that you don’t even want to look at me now?”

“It’s not like that… I just…”

His face stayed expressionless, but somehow, she could feel that he was about to cry.

Charlize steadied herself, trying to remember the words she’d rehearsed in her head.

“I came… to offer the same thing I did yesterday.”

“Princess…”

If she had been going to change her mind so easily, she never would have come. Her resolve was real.

Clasping her hands in front of her, she glanced around.

“You are all dismissed. No one is to listen to what I’m about to say.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” her personal maid replied, bowing, and led the rest of the staff far enough away not to overhear—but not so far they couldn’t come running if she called.

Charlize took a deep breath, her face set with determination.

“I’ll cooperate. Right here, right now. Do your research. Your investigation. Whatever it is.”

Achilles looked at her for a long moment before replying.

“I want to marry you, Princess.”

“You want to marry me so you can study my body.”

He took half a step closer, his voice low and sincere.

“That was before I knew you. After I first kissed you… I already belonged to you. I don’t care about research anymore—I want to share love with you.”

“If you really knew everything about me, you’d realize marriage isn’t necessary.”

Her voice wavered, but she pressed on.

“Luckily… I like you. So I’m willing to tolerate the kinds of things you said could only happen between husband and wife.”

He couldn’t possibly understand how much courage it took for her to say that.

She had never been with anyone. Her heart had always belonged to a one-sided crush.

Achilles looked at her with something close to anguish.

“I can’t,” he said softly. “If I hold you… if I touch you, I…”

A flush spread across his pale face.

“…I won’t be able to think straight. I’ll be so full of impure thoughts, I won’t be able to research or study anything.”

Charlize was stunned into silence.

Her wide blue eyes stared at him, speechless.

In his golden gaze, something darker flickered—something hot, nearly feverish.

“I thought I didn’t have those desires.”

She had thought the same. Until his love confession, he’d been nearly expressionless. Never angry. Never needy.

“But when I touch you, I want more. I want to feel your skin, undress you… I didn’t sleep last night. The night before, I lay awake imagining what it would be like to spend our days in the Tower, making love to you, over and over again.”

Charlize’s mouth dropped open.

His eyes slipped toward her lips, gaze burning with hunger he couldn’t hide.

“If you give me permission to examine you now… I’ll use it as an excuse. I won’t be able to stop myself. My desires won’t be satisfied, no matter what I do, Princess.”

“……”

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