It Turned Out She Wasn't a Favored Concubine - Episode 39

“Lean?”

“Lady Arne!”

Lean, still marked by faint freckles, ran up to me and bowed deeply.

“Lady Arne, thank you so much for coming all the way here.”

“No, no. But is it okay for you to run? Are you feeling alright?”

I quickly checked Lean’s condition. His attire had changed from apprentice librarian robes to light indoor clothes, but his physical state seemed unchanged.

I had imagined a frail child lying in bed, but thankfully, reality was far better than expected.

“Yes, I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”

Lean swung his arms and legs energetically. His complexion looked healthy, and he didn’t seem to have lost weight.

Despite being unconscious for a month, there was no trace of illness in Lean. If anything, he looked healthier.

“I heard you arranged for me to see a good doctor and stay in this wonderful residence. I wanted to thank you, but I didn’t expect you to actually come. I’m truly grateful.”

Lean bowed again. I quickly helped him up and knelt down.

Our eyes met at the same level—his light brown eyes and my crimson ones.

“What are you saying? Of course I had to come. And I’m the one who should be thanking you—for waking up safely.”

Lean shook his head.

“No, it’s my fault for causing you worry. I just wanted to thank you for not abandoning me and helping with my recovery.”

“It’s only right that I do everything I can for your recovery. You were hurt because of me—because of my mistake.”

I gently patted Lean’s shoulder and straightened my knees. Then I slowly bowed. I heard gasps around me, but I didn’t lift my head.

“I offer you a formal apology. You suffered because of my mistake. Even if you’ve recovered, nothing can compensate for that month of pain. I’ll carry that responsibility for the rest of my life. I’m truly… sorry.”

No one spoke for a while. I kept my head bowed and closed my eyes. It was the deepest apology I could offer within this world’s hierarchy—and it was sincere.

“Uh… um… please, rise.”

Lean, overwhelmed by my apology, barely managed to speak.

“Lady Arne, someone like you shouldn’t lower yourself to someone like me.”

“Regardless of status, someone who caused harm must apologize to the one who suffered.”

“Please don’t say it was your fault. I don’t believe that.”

Lean gently but firmly denied my words. He raised one finger and asked resolutely:

“Did you leave the library knowing I would get hurt?”

“What? No, absolutely not!”

I quickly denied it. I hadn’t left the library of my own will in the first place.

Lean raised another finger.

“Then did we get hurt because you left the library?”

“Well… if I hadn’t gone missing from the library, no one would’ve gotten hurt.”

At first, I tried to shift the blame to Perlo out of guilt. But as I reflected, I accepted my own fault.

I hadn’t considered others’ safety while making a deal with Perlo. That was clearly my mistake. But Lean tilted his head.

“No, we got hurt because His Majesty interrogated the maids violently.”

“What?”

I widened my eyes at the unexpected statement.

“Of course, His Majesty must’ve been furious when his beloved consort suddenly disappeared. But if he truly wanted to find you quickly, he shouldn’t have acted that way.”

“But if I hadn’t disappeared, you wouldn’t have been hurt. It’s still my fault.”

“Leaving the library without a word wasn’t good, I agree. But I think the real cause was His Majesty’s excessive response afterward.”

Lean took a deep breath and raised two fingers.

“I read in a book that to prove guilt, there must be foreseeability and causality. You couldn’t have predicted it, and the causality isn’t clear. So can we really say this was your fault?”

Lean’s logic had flaws, but it was sincere. He truly believed I wasn’t to blame.

“Honestly, when the guard hit me on the head with a club and I collapsed, bleeding and dizzy, I thought I was going to die. I’m just a rural-born apprentice librarian—no one would care.”

“Don’t say that.”

My voice trembled. Lean smiled softly.

“But you didn’t forget me. That alone is enough. I won’t say I forgive you—because you didn’t do anything wrong. At least, that’s what I believe.”

His clear, honest eyes were a salvation to me.

The heavy burden in my heart began to crumble, letting the wind pass through. I could finally breathe deeply.

“Lady Arne, are you crying? Please don’t cry.”

“I’m crying…?”

I wiped my eyes with my fingers and found them wet. I hadn’t realized I was crying, but once I did, the tears flowed uncontrollably.

I buried my face in my knees to hide my tear-streaked face.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to cry. I don’t deserve to cry…”

Even though I knew I looked pitiful, crouched on the bare floor, the tears wouldn’t stop. I cried for a long time.

When I finally lifted my swollen face, everyone looked startled.

“Ahem. Sorry, everyone. I lost control of my emotions.”

While others remained silent, Martenal laughed heartily and stepped forward.

“Sometimes you need a good cry to clean your eyes. Now that you’ve let it out, stand up. If you stay crouched, that boy might start crying too.”

Lean looked anxious, his eyes brimming with tears. I couldn’t let him cry again.

Just as I stood up, a maid entered to announce the arrival of expected guests—Lean’s parents.

While Ortelang went to greet them, Lean pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to me.

“It’s not very pretty, but it’s clean.”

“Thank you.”

“I hope you won’t cry because of me again. That would make me feel worse. Okay? Promise?”

Lean stood on tiptoe, asking earnestly.

“Alright.”

When I answered firmly, Lean sighed in relief. I gently suggested:

“If you’re okay with it, you can stay here longer. I’ll arrange for your parents to stay too.”

I glanced at Giscal  to check his opinion. He blinked slowly, signaling agreement.

Lean looked around the villa and said:

“It’s beautiful here, sunny, and the bed is so soft. But I’m more comfortable in the home I was born in. My parents would feel burdened too. The doctor said I should rest for a month, so after that, I’ll return to the palace library.”

“What? I heard you were granted a six-month leave.”

“Yes, thanks to your efforts. But a month is enough. Honestly, I want to go back tomorrow, but I extended it for my parents’ sake.”

Lean puffed his cheeks in frustration. I panicked and tried to stop him.

“No! You must rest for at least a month. And… if you don’t want to return to the palace library, I can find another department for you.”

“I know what you’re worried about. But I love books. I don’t want to leave the palace library.”

I recalled how senior librarians used to overwork Lean and asked cautiously, but his resolve was firm.

“Alright. Someday, I’ll get your permission to enter the restricted archives.”

Lean’s face turned red. I chuckled and ruffled his hair.

Just then, Lean’s parents arrived at the villa. After confirming his health, they bowed repeatedly upon learning we were the Marquis of Edelheit and the Third Consort.

I tried to explain that I should be the one bowing, but the social gap was too great for them. It seemed best to send them off quickly for their peace of mind.

Though they insisted a public carriage was enough, I ushered them into the Edelheit family’s finest carriage.

As the carriage departed, Lean leaned out the window and met my gaze. Neither of us offered lengthy apologies or thanks anymore.

“Lady Arne, you’ll keep coming to the palace library, right?”

“Of course. I’ll come just to see you. Take care and come back safely.”

Lean smiled brightly. I smiled back.

Now, I could smile too.

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