It Turned Out She Wasn't a Favored Concubine - Episode 102

For a fleeting moment, I had a very short dream.

It was so vivid I couldn’t tell whether it was a memory or not. In the dream, I was Arne, and Arne was me.

Her emotions surged over me like a tidal wave. I felt what she felt when she saw her father’s back turned away, when the servants’ eyes shifted from pity to annoyance, when she cried alone in a dark room, when Erich first approached her, and even how she felt about Giscal—her cold brother who never cared for his family and wasn’t even related to her by blood.

Sigh.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. Arne’s emotions slowly separated from mine.

I had felt her emotions, but I hadn’t become her. Our feelings toward Giscal were too different.

Arne had waited and waited for her brother, only to end up resenting and hating him.

But I was different. If Arne’s feelings were on one end of the spectrum, mine were on the opposite.

Now I understood clearly. That’s why, when Giscal confessed, the dark lump that had been building in my chest shattered—so quickly and so completely it surprised even me.

Giscal had played a major role in why I ended up in this world. If he had made different choices, maybe I would still be living my ordinary life in my original world.

If he had told me the truth when I arrived, maybe I could’ve returned before it was too late.

I wanted to blame them all—Louis, Ortrand, Elliot, Giscal—for ruining my peaceful life and destroying my future.

But at the same time, I didn’t want to. No matter how much I resented or hated them, I didn’t want to see them cry.

Ortrand’s kind smile had comforted me when I was shrinking in this unfamiliar world.

Louis was the one who shared my “firsts” in this world.

When I first walked through the Arlin Palace gardens, when I first saw the constellations in the night sky, when I first watched the sun set beyond the grand imperial palace, when I first tried the cosmetics of this world—Louis was always by my side.

Even though Louis was the one who swapped Arne’s soul with mine, seeing him cry for his sister broke my heart.

As for Elliot—I couldn’t say I knew him well, but from what I’d heard, he was admirable. He had nearly fallen victim to the cruelty of the mages, but he used his will and effort to save others like him. He was a hero.

Elliot had done his best. I wasn’t worthy of blaming him.

And Giscal… no matter what choices he made, I just wanted to embrace him. I didn’t want to resent him. I didn’t want to hate him. No—truthfully, I couldn’t resent him. I couldn’t hate him.

Because I had already fallen in love with him.

I accepted that fact far too late.

“Go.”

Giscal gently pushed my back, as if he didn’t expect an answer. But I resisted and shook my head.

“I’m not going.”

“There’s no time. You have to go to survive.”

“Then you’ll die.”

Giscal paused for a moment before replying quickly.

“That’s not your concern.”

A soft laugh escaped me. It didn’t suit the situation at all, but his words reminded me of the Edelheit mansion. We had clashed sharply back then too. Somehow, this moment overlapped with that memory.

“Didn’t you promise me?”

“What?”

“You said you wouldn’t say things like that.”

Erich’s red eyes—deeper than Arne’s—wavered. He too remembered our conversation at Edelheit.

But instead of agreeing, Giscal clenched his fist tightly.

“But now…”

“Why? What’s different now?”

“You know everything now. How you came here, what I did wrong… But still…”

Giscal’s lips trembled. He remembered my words clearly.

“You’re worried about me? How… how is that possible?”

His voice was filled with doubt, yet tinged with hope. I leaned into that fragile hope and spoke.

“Because I’ve already fallen in love with you.”

Suppressing my racing heartbeat, I continued.

“So I can’t help it.”

Silence fell between us. Neither of us spoke, only our breathing filled the space. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel his presence through the sound of his breath.

We both stepped forward at the same time. The distance between us vanished in an instant. My sleeve brushed against his collar. I embraced him, and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Even in the darkness, our lips found each other perfectly. Maybe the extinguished lantern gave us the courage. We kissed and held each other for a long time, knowing this might be the last time.

The sound of the lantern falling from Giscal’s hand broke the moment. Slowly, we pulled away. Giscal spoke first.

“It’s cowardly, but if you care about me, please go inside.”

I replied immediately.

“No, if you truly care about me, then do as I say.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Face Erich one more time.”

“What are you saying? If you do that—!”

Giscal panicked and raised his voice. I quickly interrupted.

“I know. I’m not saying I’ll be a test subject again. I have a plan.”

“Whatever it is, it’s too dangerous. I have to keep you alive. Please, go outside.”

His plea was desperate. But I stood firm.

“We’re just going in circles. Let me ask you one thing. What’s more important to you—my life or my will?”

“Both. I can’t choose just one.”

“I knew you’d say that. When I first came to this world, you prioritized my life and didn’t tell me the truth. So this time, respect my will and do as I ask.”

“…”

Giscal couldn’t respond. I clenched the hand hidden behind my back. I knew how guilty he felt, and I used that guilt.

In the end, I won. Giscal felt deeply responsible for not letting me choose my own life—even if the situation had been unavoidable.

But no matter how cowardly, I had to push forward. I bet everything on the new clarity I gained by separating Arne’s emotions from mine.

I said I’d face Erich, but I had no intention of walking into the center of the imperial guards’ blades. If things went wrong, I’d be dragged to the palace, and Giscal wouldn’t be safe either.

To talk to him properly, I had to lure Erich to the Edelheit mansion.

The method was simple. I searched the basement and found a jar of red dye—used by maids to color fabric. I took it to a room near the front gate. When I opened the window, I saw Erich in the distance. I dipped one hand into the dye and shouted loudly.

“Your Majesty! If you don’t want to see Arne’s body wounded, come into the mansion alone right now!”

I raised my red-stained palm, and even from afar, I saw Erich’s expression change. As expected, he couldn’t stay rational when it came to Arne. He tried to rush into the mansion, but his guards stopped him. I couldn’t give him time to think. I quickly dipped my other hand into the dye and screamed. Then I raised both hands, letting red liquid drip from my palms.

Erich reacted violently. He pushed away the guards and jumped over the gate on horseback. Some knights tried to follow, but when I raised my hands again, Erich ordered them to stay back.

He rushed into the room and opened the door. I hadn’t set any traps. I just had something to say.

When he saw me standing by the window, he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist—to keep me from falling. Then he checked my hands. When he realized it wasn’t blood, his face showed relief more than anger.

Of course, he kicked over the dye jar in frustration.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“If this body gets hurt, I feel pain too. I wouldn’t hurt myself on purpose. I just needed to talk to you.”

“Ha, what could you possibly say? You’re just a shameless, lowly soul inside Arne’s body.”

“No. I’m the only link you have to Arne. I’m the only one who can connect you to her. So I want to propose a deal.”

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