It Seems Like My Senior Seems to Like Me - Chapter 59

The day they broke up, Ye Wanjia was stunned, her mind a blank, her vision a blur.

The hospital walls were as cold as ice, reflecting an unnatural chill. In the garden below the oncology ward, two figures sat on a bench.

But unlike before, they weren’t huddled together. Instead, they were at opposite ends, separated by enough space for three people.

The sun shone down, but Ye Wanjia felt nothing. She moved, and her neck made a cracking sound. Only then did she realize this wasn’t a dream.

It was real.

“What?”

She turned, looking through the blinding light at Pei Suye. The other woman sat slumped, her back against the bench, her spine curved, her head half-bowed. Her eyes were fixed on something on the ground, and even the cinnabar mole on the bridge of her nose seemed particularly cold.

“What are you saying?” Ye Wanjia demanded.

Pei Suye took a breath, her chest rising and falling slightly. Every strand of her hair seemed weary. It was the first time she hadn’t dared to look Ye Wanjia in the eye.

“I said,” her voice was slow, both to make sure Ye Wanjia could hear her and to hide her trembling, “let’s break up.”

Ye Wanjia lost the ability to think. She stared at Pei Suye’s profile, trying to read something there, but the other woman just kept her head and eyes down. Her eyes were shadowed, and nothing could be seen.

“Is it because your mom is sick and you’re not in a good mood?”

After a long time, Ye Wanjia finally found a plausible reason.

Pei Suye pursed her lips. “No, I just feel like we can’t be together anymore.”

Ye Wanjia challenged her, “Why can’t we? Did I do something wrong, or is it some other reason?”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Then what is it?”

Ye Wanjia’s breathing quickened. She scooted closer, grabbing Pei Suye’s arm. “Are you worried because you’re going abroad soon, and a long-distance relationship will be unstable? It’s okay, you can wait for me. I can apply for graduate school after my junior year, and I can go to the US in my senior year. Just wait a little while for me!”

She offered many reasons. If only Pei Suye would nod, she could save this relationship. But the other woman gave no reason, not even a glance.

Yes, this person who had held her so dearly just the day before, who had been so afraid of hurting her, now wouldn’t even look at her.

Finally, Ye Wanjia lost her last shred of patience and shouted,

“Being together is a two-person thing! We were doing so well. Why do you get to say ‘let’s break up’ just like that?!”

The answer was Pei Suye pulling her arm away, and finally, a gaze directed at her.

Pei Suye’s calm eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles underneath. She looked as if she hadn’t slept all night, incredibly weary. But above that weariness was an iron-hard resolve.

“Wanjia, being together takes two, but breaking up only takes one.”

Crack!

A hand reached from behind and crushed her neck bone. The sound boomed from the back of her neck to her ear.

Ye Wanjia stared blankly at her, at this suddenly unfamiliar face, and moved her lips.

“So, when you said the other day that you wanted to see me, it was to break up with me?”

It was a summer noon, but the outdoor bench was plunged into deep winter, without a hint of warmth.

“Yes.”

That short word was a sharp knife, piercing the peaceful facade.

Ye Wanjia stood frozen for a long time, her beautiful face a mask of ice. After a very long time, her eyes moved, and a tear rolled down.

She didn’t know how she left, how she got back to the hostel, or how she picked up her luggage. All she remembered was that her backpack was so heavy, her suitcase was so heavy, almost crushing her.

She looked at the sky. It was clearly a clear day, but it felt gloomy and gray.

Perhaps the wind was too strong, and with one gust, it scattered their love.

When Wei Xiaoxiao met her, Ye Wanjia was sitting on a stone post outside the subway station, small and thin, her back hunched. One hand rested on a suitcase bigger than she was, the other hung limply at her side. She looked as if all the bones had been pulled out of her.

Wei Xiaoxiao took Ye Wanjia back to her place and stayed with her all night. Crying, complaining, whatever Ye Wanjia said, Wei Xiaoxiao listened without a single sign of impatience.

However, the more she listened, the more something didn’t feel right.

At 10 PM, Ye Wanjia was mostly cried out. She just sat listlessly on the sofa, her legs curled up, hugging a pillow, her eyes vacant.

Wei Xiaoxiao quietly sat beside her, draped a blanket over her sleeveless pajamas, and said gently,

“Ye Wanjia, even though the president’s sudden breakup was a real jerk move, I don’t think she’s impulsive.”

Ye Wanjia’s eyes moved slightly, like a glass mirror cracking. “But she didn’t even give me a reason.”

“Exactly! That’s the weirdest part!” Wei Xiaoxiao slapped her knee. “I mean, how do I put it? I feel like Pei Suye, even if she really wanted to break up with you, she’d talk to you properly. Why would it be so sudden and without a single reason?”

Ye Wanjia was heartbroken. Her eyes, sore from crying, felt strained just from blinking.

“I don’t know. Maybe she just got tired of me.”

“How is that possible?” As an outsider, Wei Xiaoxiao could see their relationship clearly. “You were only together for a little over a year, but your relationship was so good. Something must have happened for her to do this so suddenly, right?”

Ye Wanjia’s eyelids lifted slightly, but she didn’t say anything.

Seeing that Ye Wanjia was listening, Wei Xiaoxiao continued to analyze. “Look, the night before, she was still so dependent on you, calling you and saying she wanted to see you. Then, all day yesterday, she didn’t reply to your messages, right? Something must have happened during that day.”

Ye Wanjia pursed her lips. “But she didn’t say anything.”

“Maybe it’s a reason that’s hard to talk about.” Wei Xiaoxiao put her arms around Ye Wanjia’s shoulders, resting her head against her wet, un-dried hair. “Wanjia, why don’t you try to find her again? Talk to her calmly. Ask what really happened yesterday. You can face it together, can’t you?”

Ye Wanjia was somewhat swayed, but then she thought of Pei Suye’s cold eyes and became insecure again.

“But what if she just doesn’t like me anymore and wants to break up? If I keep clinging, she’ll just hate me more.”

Wei Xiaoxiao didn’t agree with that. “What do you mean, clinging? She loves you, you love her, and you’ve been together for over a year. She should give you a proper explanation. Just sending you away with a few words? Even if you don’t mind, I won’t let her get away with it! And,”

Her tone suddenly softened. “And Ye Wanjia, if you love her, you have to fight for a chance to get back together. That way, even if you go your separate ways later, you’ll have no regrets, right? Tell me, do you still love her?”

The word “love” was the final blow that broke through Ye Wanjia’s defenses. Her stiff body leaned toward Wei Xiaoxiao, her arms wrapping around her waist, and she buried her head in her friend’s chest, sobbing.

“I really, really love her…”

The love of a 19-year-old is so intense. When it’s sweet, it’s like an overturned honey jar, its sticky sweetness filling the heart. When it’s bitter, it’s like 99 bitter herbs boiling in a pot, their bitterness seeping into the blood.

It took Ye Wanjia a full week to prepare herself mentally to go and see Pei Suye.

Wei Xiaoxiao was right. She needed a reason for the breakup, even the simplest “I don’t love you anymore” would be a closure for their year-long relationship.

She didn’t know Su Hongyue’s room number, so she waited on a bench downstairs at the oncology ward. Pei Suye would show up eventually.

Her luck was both half-good and half-bad.

The bad part was that Pei Suye didn’t show up all day.

The good part was that Pei Suye’s mother, Su Hongyue, sent her a message on WeChat.

“Ye Wanjia, can you come up? Room 632 on the 6th floor.”

She and Su Hongyue had exchanged WeChats during the school sports day last year and rarely chatted.

Once, Ye Wanjia had shared a picture of a small cat-shaped coaster she had knitted for Pei Suye. Su Hongyue hadn’t replied. At the time, she thought maybe Su Hongyue wasn’t interested in their little couple’s fun, so she stopped sending things.

Only when Su Hongyue was hospitalized did Ye Wanjia send a message to check on her. Su Hongyue even video-called her, shedding tears the whole time. This was why Ye Wanjia felt she had to come to Nanzhou—she was worried Pei Suye would break down seeing her birth mother like this.

She never expected that she would be the first to break down.

Su Hongyue lay in the hospital bed, her face the color of cement from chemotherapy, completely bloodless. Her eyes were deeply sunken, with two blood vessels across her pupils, looking incredibly weary.

“Wanjia, I’m so sorry about what happened between you and Suye.”

Ye Wanjia’s heart softened at the sight of her sickly appearance. The accusation she had planned to make turned into a question.

“You told her to break up with me, didn’t you?”

Su Hongyue weakly shed a tear, her eyes filled with guilt. “I’m sorry.”

Ye Wanjia avoided her gaze, afraid she’d cry uncontrollably. She took two deep breaths to calm her emotions, then spoke with as much composure as she could muster.

“I understand. Many parents can’t accept their child being gay. But with Pei Suye and me, we truly love each other. From the day we got together, we decided to face the world together.”

“That’s not the reason,” Su Hongyue explained.

“Then what is the reason?” Ye Wanjia pressed.

She hoped so much that the truth Pei Suye hadn’t told her would be revealed by Su Hongyue.

But in reality, they both chose to hide it.

Su Hongyue closed her eyes, adjusted herself for a long time, then opened them again, speaking with difficulty.

“Wanjia, you’re a good girl. I don’t want the failure of this relationship to affect the rest of your life. You’ll definitely study hard, work hard, and find someone who loves you very, very much. You’ll be together and live a happy life, okay?”

As she spoke, she took a card from the bedside table drawer.

“There’s a little money on this card. Consider it my compensation. Forgive me for my sin, will you?”

Ye Wanjia looked at the woman in front of her.

The first time she saw her, she was wearing an elegant, ink-wash-colored dress and stood out in the stands. When she saw her, her eyes were full of smiles, and she said, “You’re so good at high jump.”

In less than a year, that elegant, graceful, kind-faced aunt was gone.

“I don’t want your money, I want Pei Suye,” she said.

As soon as the words left her mouth, the door behind her turned, and a familiar voice came.

“Wanjia, let’s talk about our business outside.”

Pei Suye had come to deliver a meal to Su Hongyue. After placing the thermos on the bedside table, she led Ye Wanjia out of the room.

Pei Suye had lost weight. Her cheeks were sunken, her long, soft hair was tied back, and the wind made her oversized clothes look like a gaunt skeleton. The person who had once glowed with moonlight had no light left.

The moment she saw her, Ye Wanjia felt a knife twist in her heart, blood gushing out, hurting immensely.

“So, you’ve still decided to break up, haven’t you?”

Ye Wanjia had prepared for the worst, so she thought she could accept whatever Pei Suye said.

Pei Suye let her hair down, hoping to hide some of her exhaustion. “Yes.”

As expected, even with all the preparation, her heart still ached.

“Then,” her voice trembled, “then if I said…”

In her original plan, after Pei Suye confirmed the breakup, she wouldn’t ask any more questions. But her feelings were so intense, how could she cut them off completely?

So, she opened her mouth.

“What if I still love you very, very much? Will you consider getting back together?”

Pei Suye flinched, as if something had pierced her. A flicker of emotion appeared in her eyes, but it vanished instantly, replaced by coldness.

“No. Ye Wanjia, I won’t consider it. You know that once I make a decision, I never go back on it.”

The air grew thinner. Ye Wanjia’s lips became a thin line. “Then you at least owe me a reason, a fair and square reason. Why? Why were you saying you loved me the day before, only to suddenly break up?”

The next sentence was something Ye Wanjia would remember for the rest of her life. The person she had poured all her love into, the one she had carefully placed in the softest part of her heart, said the cruelest words in the world.

“Because I want to be a normal person.”

The unstable weather, after a period of intense heat, gave way to a downpour that night.

The moonlight was completely blocked by thick clouds. Ye Wanjia wanted to reach out and part them, but when she parted one layer, there was another underneath, stacked one on top of the other. Every layer was filled with a sense of helpless gloom.

That night, she cried in Wei Xiaoxiao’s arms until she almost fainted.

“She was the one who told me she liked me first, she was the one who held my hand first, she was the one who kissed me first. She never told me that we were abnormal. Why is loving me not normal? Why? Xiaoxiao, tell me why, please?”

The online novel “Miss Pei and Miss Ye” took a sudden turn after a sweet birthday and headed for an abrupt ending. The last sentence left a deep scar in the hearts of countless readers—

[She abandoned all her dignity and used all her strength, only to be told, “I want to be a normal person.”]

After crying, complaining, and grieving, it was enough.

On the third day, Ye Wanjia woke Wei Xiaoxiao up early, her emotions visibly calm.

“I want to get a haircut.”

Maybe cutting her hair would help her cut off those unrealistic thoughts.

Love was like a gust of wind, coming and going in a hurry. It gently entered her spring, leaving behind a mountain of blooming flowers, only to turn and leave when the flowers were at their most beautiful, leaving her alone for the rest of her life.

A month later, Nanzhou University started its new semester. Su Hongyue passed away, and Pei Suye finally boarded her flight to the United States.

The day she was sent off at the airport, her father, Pei Xin, sat beside her, his elbows on his knees, sighing with emotion.

“Once you leave, our family of three will be just me.”

Pei Suye’s condition had been very poor since the breakup. At one point, she needed to be on an IV drip to function. Her beautiful face was so thin that you could almost see the texture of her bones. Her eyes had lost their former sparkle.

She knew her parents had a deep love for each other, so she tried to comfort her father. All she could say was the usual “The deceased have passed, the living must be strong.”

Until, Pei Xin revealed a secret.

“Pei Suye, actually, you’re not our daughter.”

Snap!

A white line cut through a black curtain. Pei Suye heard her neck bone make a sound. The world in front of her suddenly turned stark white, and a long, ringing sound filled her ears. She turned, her tongue stiff.

“What… did you say?”

A moment later, a person suddenly stood up in the calm airport lounge. She was flustered, at a loss, and anxious. Her hands trembled so much she couldn’t hold her phone, and this was the usually calm and gentle Pei Suye.

“I have to go back to school!”

The international airport’s send-off lounge was quiet. Occasionally, a traveler would pass by, their suitcase making no sound on the floor. It was extremely silent.

At the end of a fast-food restaurant, a father and daughter sat at a table, discussing a secret that had been hidden for over 20 years.

“You’re not our daughter.”

Pei Xin lowered his head, staring at the marks on the table left by a fork. His memory drifted back over 20 years, and his voice was incredibly slow.

“The child your mother gave birth to, well, she died shortly after she was born.”

Across from him, Pei Suye was struck by the sudden news. Her calm eyes widened. After a few seconds, she barely managed to process the words.

“So, I wasn’t born to Mom?”

Pei Xin nodded heavily. This secret, hidden for so many years, finally surfaced after Su Hongyue’s death.

“Your mother’s depression was very severe at the time. Plus, she had just given birth and had a lung infection. She was in the ICU every day… I was worried that she wouldn’t be able to handle the truth. So, I adopted an abandoned baby from an orphanage.

I’ve kept this a secret all this time, afraid that if she found out, her condition would worsen.

I’m telling you now because I feel sorry for hiding it from you for so long. Even though I’ll always treat you like my own daughter, you have the right to know who you are.”

Pei Xin was usually a man of few words; most of the family communication was handled by Su Hongyue. But on that day, he said so much. The pressure of over 20 years turned into a long string of words. Every word was a grain of sand, sprinkling down to form a beach.

He knew that it wouldn’t be easy for Pei Suye to accept this all at once. But his daughter’s personality, from childhood, had been very good, her emotions stable, like a flower growing in warm water, even her breathing was gentle.

However, he didn’t expect that the daughter he thought he knew so well would be so devastated. Her beautiful eyes were vacant, staring blankly ahead, with no focus. Her thin lips trembled as she kept repeating,

“I’m not Mom’s child… I’m not Mom’s child…”

After repeating it seven or eight times, she suddenly stood up. “Dad, drive! Let’s go back!”

Pei Xin was stunned. “Go back? Where? Home?”

Plop!

Two tears streamed down Pei Suye’s face. Her calm expression was filled with pain. “I want to go back to school!”

She had to go back and find her little leaf that she had cruelly left in the middle of a deserted forest.

Swoosh!

The black private car sped along the asphalt road. The shadows of the trees on the side of the road flashed past the window, striking the side profile of the person inside again and again.

Every memory became a blade, crisscrossing and slicing her heart until it was bleeding profusely.

“Ye Wanjia is your sister.” That day in the hospital room, her mother, Su Hongyue, had pleaded with her, almost with a sense of tragedy.

“When I was in the US for those few years, I met her father, and we had her.”

“Your father doesn’t know about this child. No one does. I thought I would never see her again, but I never expected her to become your girlfriend.”

“Pei Suye, you know I have depression. It took me a long time to accept that you like girls. I can bless you for being with a girl, but I can’t accept you liking your own sister.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry to you and to Ye Wanjia. Me being so sick is God’s punishment. But Pei Suye, please have pity on your mom, okay? Don’t let the mistakes of the past continue to be mistakes!”

That day, a distraught Pei Suye held the DNA test report. It clearly showed the mother-daughter relationship between Su Hongyue and Ye Wanjia, telling her that she could not be with Ye Wanjia.

How ironic? The girl she had finally come to love was her sister? The deep love between her parents that she had been so proud of had involved a child born out of wedlock?

And the day before, she had told Ye Wanjia, “I want to see you.”

A flash of white light, and her memory fast-forwarded to the later moment when she said those awful words to Ye Wanjia. What did that little leaf, who had come to find her in the rain after the breakup, get?

She got the cruel words, “I want to be a normal person.”

Pei Suye, you deserve to die!

It was 2 PM, the busiest time at the new student registration office.

Pei Suye followed the crowded stream of people from the main north gate. Along the way, people were rushing, jostling, like thorns that would leave her covered in blood by the end of the journey, just so she could find her lover.

The registration office for the School of Veterinary Medicine was packed. Different long tables were set up for “ID verification,” “document submission,” “new student handbook distribution,” and “campus card pickup,” with two student union members at each table.

These students were the same ones she had welcomed as a new student when she was the president. In a flash, they were all in their junior year.

The moment Pei Suye arrived, she was recognized by the new vice president.

“The old president is here!”

“Wow, it’s our senior!”

“Senior, aren’t you going to the US? Why are you back all of a sudden?”

Everyone was so enthusiastic that Pei Suye had to put on a brave face and exchange pleasantries, then ask the most important question.

“Is Ye Wanjia here?”

The vice president was stunned for a moment, then chuckled. “Oh, no, she’s not. She’s the student union president now, and she’s hosting the new student parent meeting at the school office.”

Pei Suye was taken aback. The student union president?

Of course. She was a junior now. Ye Wanjia’s academic performance and work ability were more than enough for her to take on the role of president.

The little girl who had been by her side was now a leader in her own right.

The walk to the school office felt long, a full 15-minute run.

In the lecture hall, parents who had brought their new students were seated below. On the stage, the student union president, Ye Wanjia, stood tall and straight, using a PPT to introduce the students’ future five years of study and life.

Her hair was cut. The long hair that used to reach her waist was now chin-length. One side was tucked behind her ear, the other hung naturally. It gave her an air of efficiency.

She wore a matcha-colored short-sleeved shirt and a light brown A-line skirt. She was still thin and tall, but the frailty she once had was gone, replaced by a touch of sharpness.

She had changed, but she was still the same.

After the presentation, Ye Wanjia carefully answered every question the parents asked, without noticing that there was an extra person by the door.

Someone she wanted to see, yet also wanted to avoid.

All the tranquility was broken by the academic advisor. As she and Ye Wanjia were answering the parents’ questions, she turned her head, saw the person at the door, and shouted with surprise.

“Pei Suye! What are you doing back?!”

Snap!

Ye Wanjia clearly heard a nerve deep in her ear being severed by a knife. After a moment of, she subconsciously looked at the door.

Standing there, still catching her breath from running, was Pei Suye, holding onto the doorframe. Her eyes were as affectionate as ever, steady yet gentle, looking at her.

Just like before.

Startled by the advisor’s shout, Pei Suye quickly pulled back her gaze, blinking awkwardly, and forced a polite smile.

“Teacher Zhang, I had something to do, so I came back to visit.”

Pei Suye’s recommendation to a US research institute meant that her presence at the parents’ meeting, even just to say a few words and share a little, would reassure the parents of the college’s educational standards.

“Parents, this is one of our fifth-year students, Pei Suye. She’s a top student who was accepted into the University of California, Davis, in the US. Let’s welcome her to say a few words!”

And so, Pei Suye was forced onto the stage to share her experience of studying at the School of Veterinary Medicine for four years.

But by the time she finished and the thunderous applause died down, the person who had been standing at the front door had disappeared into the grand commotion. She nodded to the crowd, signaled to the advisor, and hurried out to chase her.

Leaving the meeting room, a right turn led to a long corridor. At the end of the 30-meter-long corridor was the lobby of the vet building. A left turn from there was the building’s main entrance. Outside the door, to the left was Cherry Blossom Avenue, and to the right was the non-motor vehicle parking area.

She ran all the way, finally catching up to that slender figure on Cherry Blossom Avenue.

“Little Leaf!”

The long-lost nickname reached her. The summer breeze blew, and cherry blossoms floated down. The matcha-colored figure stopped, but only for a moment, and continued walking.

Pei Suye ran after her and gently grabbed her arm from behind, so gently that Ye Wanjia could have broken free with just a little effort.

Pei Suye looked at her from behind, her gaze fixed on a cherry blossom petal on the crown of her head. Her eyes trembled, filled with guilt and pleading.

“Can we talk?”