In a Relationship With the Rugged Guy Next Door - Chapter 22

Chapter 22: “Brother will become gay.”

Since it was so early, the computer repair shop wasn’t open yet. Chen Lang told Chen Jingming to go to work first, and he’d find a place to fix it once shops opened.

“Thanks, Lang-ge. Is your… backside doing any better?” Jingming asked out of concern.

Chen Lang turned his head slowly. “You’ll know once you’ve been poked.”

Jingming: “…”

Chen Lang laughed. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Jingming immediately acted spoiled. “Lang-ge—!”

“Alright, alright.” Chen Lang pulled his helmet back on. “I won’t say it. Just be careful yourself. Go to work; I’ll wander around and find a shop for you.”

After saying goodbye, Jingming walked slowly toward the office with his materials. He saw a stall selling sticky rice with seven or eight different fillings. Even though he’d already had breakfast at home, he hesitated for a second and bought a portion anyway.

Unsurprisingly, no one was at the office yet. Jingming unlocked the door himself.

With his computer set up, he watched a video while slowly eating his breakfast. Occasionally, people walked by in the hallway, whispering about where to go for lunch. There was a lot of work, including things Jingming didn’t understand, but he wasn’t anxious. He knew he could finish it; it was just a matter of time.

Because Chu Feng had kept him up the night before, he was a bit drowsy by noon. The three of them had a quick bite on the street downstairs and then napped at their desks. When he woke up, he saw several messages from Chu Feng.

Brother: [Baby, did you eat?] Brother: [Image] Brother: [The cafeteria made that cold beef skin you like today.] Brother: [I’ll prepare lunch for you to take to work from now on. Tell me what you want to eat.] Brother: [Are you mad at me?] Brother: [What did I do wrong? Can you tell me?] Brother: [Why aren’t you replying?] Brother: [My heart hurts, Baby.]

Jingming’s forehead was lined with exasperation: I was just taking a nap!

He quickly replied: [I was just napping. I’m not mad at you.]

Chu Feng replied instantly: [Really?] Jingming: [Really.] Jingming: [Sweat emoji/]

Chu Feng took the opportunity to say he’d pick Jingming up after work to go to the ranch. Jingming sighed softly at his desk. Talk about clingy. However, thinking about the ranch, he figured he could ask the elders there for help translating those materials. He transferred the interview videos to his phone.

The office was busy. Teacher Xie Yan and Du Li exchanged drafts occasionally and sent copies to Jingming, asking him to take a look and offer opinions.

Before he knew it, it was time to clock out. Teacher Xie Yan vanished instantly. Jingming was used to recording his daily progress in writing. He had only brought a small bag and a suitcase when he returned, so he didn’t have a proper bag for his work materials. He’d been using a cloth bag he found in the office, but it was so full the straps dug into his hand.

After finishing, he tidied his desk and collected the office trash. Just as he stood up to leave, he saw Chu Feng standing at the door.

“You scared me!” Jingming clutched his chest and let out a heavy sigh.

Chu Feng smiled. He was wearing a pure white T-shirt today. Under the sunlight, it acted like a reflector, making him look even darker. Only his teeth shone bright white.

“Am I that scary?” Chu Feng walked in. “Give that to me. I’ll carry it.”

Jingming almost instinctively handed over the materials but stopped himself. “No, I’ve got it.”

Chu Feng: “Why? Let me carry it; it’s heavy.”

Jingming was determined to break free from Chu Feng’s control and stop living under the shadow of his “straight-man” brotherly affection. He was definitely never showering with him again.

“No.”

Jingming slung the bag over his shoulder, supporting the bottom with his hand. “Let’s go. I need to lock up.”

He was also carrying a bag of trash. Chu Feng reached for it. Jingming dodged with a smooth pivot. “I can take it myself.”

“Baby.” Chu Feng couldn’t exactly wrestle it away. “Why won’t you let me? You’re carrying so much. Are you still mad at me?”

Jingming kept walking. “No, I can just do it myself.”

Chu Feng circled him anxiously. “What’s wrong? Are you unhappy? Tell me.”

Jingming quickened his pace. “Nothing, nothing.”

“I know I messed up over the years.” Chu Feng followed closely with quick, small steps, not daring to grab him. “I need to make it up to you. Give me a chance, okay? If there’s anything you’re unhappy with, tell me. I’ll do anything for you.”

Jingming was annoyed to death. “There really is nothing!”

Chu Feng: “Then why won’t you let me carry your things?”

Jingming walked faster, starting to pant. “Because I can carry them myself.”

“Why do it yourself when your brother can do it?” Chu Feng was relentless, convinced Jingming was angry. “You didn’t let me drive you this morning, which already made me feel bad. Now you won’t let me carry—”

“Fine! Take it!!” Jingming stopped and turned abruptly. Chu Feng nearly crashed into him. Jingming shoved the trash and the cloth bag into Chu Feng’s arms. “There! Take them!”

At this moment, no one empathized more with Sun Wukong (Monkey King) than Jingming.

Chu Feng was stunned by the impatient tone at first, but then he thought: If he can lose his temper like this, it means he’s truly relaxed around me and treats me like a real brother again. He used to be like this as a kid; a little temper was normal.

“Baby’s not mad anymore?” Chu Feng leaned down to check his expression. “Still looks a bit mad.”

Jingming looked at Chu Feng and thought: I’m not mad, I’m tired. “I’m not,” he said.

“Then hold my hand.”

Jingming pursed his lips. His face looked tired from lack of sleep. He hesitated several times before finally placing his hand in Chu Feng’s with a look of utter resignation. Satisfied, Chu Feng led him toward the parking lot.

…

The past thirteen years had changed both of them. Jingming sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window. He didn’t remember the Chu Feng from thirteen years ago being this “perverse.”

They reached the ranch before 5:00 PM. It was still bright out. Employees who lived at the ranch were watering the small vegetable patches near the dorms. Seeing them arrive, they mentioned there would be beer duck for dinner at the cafeteria.

Beer duck was also one of Chen Chunyi’s signature dishes. Jingming hadn’t had it in a long time. His stomach growled.

Chu Feng heard it. “Baby’s hungry. I’ll go get you something to tide you over.”

Jingming agreed. As soon as Chu Feng left, Chen Lang emerged from the office chewing on a brown sugar steamed bun. He broke off half and handed it to Jingming. “Want some?”

“Yes.” Jingming never turned down food.

Chen Lang: “What are you doing at the ranch?”

Jingming explained his work and asked for help.

“I don’t have time today. I have to go to dinner with the feed factory owner in a bit.” Chen Lang stuffed the rest of the bun into his mouth. “Those guys can really drink, so I’m padding my stomach with bread.”

Jingming: “Is my brother going?”

Chen Lang: “No. If I go, only one of us gets drunk. If he goes, we both get trashed. No point.”

Every place has its own business culture. In Changxi, business was done over drinks. While it was sometimes pleasant to drink with like-minded people, most of the time it was just social obligation.

“Sounds exhausting,” Jingming said.

“Feeling sorry for your brother? Which one? Him or me?” Chen Lang couldn’t go a day without being a bit of a tease.

The little devil inside Jingming occasionally jumped out. “Sometimes I feel more sorry for myself.” He glanced toward the cafeteria.

“Is your brother still acting ‘flamboyant’ with you?” Chen Lang put an arm around Jingming’s shoulder.

Jingming: “What? No…”

Chen Lang: “Acting crazy, then. Fine.”

To others, Chu Feng was a reliable boss, but at home, he was… like that. No one would understand if Jingming told them; only Chen Lang could relate.

“Lang-ge,” Jingming said bashfully, “I’ve seriously rejected his physical affection, but he stays the same. If I don’t let him, he just nag-nag-nags like Auntie Xianglin. Once, when we were showering together, he almost cried.”

Chen Lang’s jaw nearly hit the floor. “You two shower together?”

Jingming covered his mouth, shaking his head. “No! We were washing our faces together! I remembered wrong.”

Chen Lang: “If you don’t tell me the truth, how can I give you advice?”

Jingming hesitated, then nodded honestly.

“Good heavens, I can’t believe it!” Chen Lang shook his head slowly. “How is that any different from dating?”

Jingming: “I figured since he’s straight, he doesn’t realize what it looks like.”

“You know he’s straight and you still go along with it?” Chen Lang was getting a bit heated. “Your brother is thirty. A straight man! Director Zhang from the Agricultural Bureau was talking about introducing his niece to him two days ago. They’ve already exchanged photos and are chatting. Plenty of people want to set him up. One day he’s going to get married. If you two keep acting like this, what is that girl going to think?”

Hearing this, Jingming’s eyes suddenly welled up. Hot tears fell without warning. He could handle Chen Lang scolding him, but he couldn’t handle the thought of hurting someone else.

“I’m sorry.” Jingming’s face crumpled, his eyes, nose, and mouth turning red.

Seeing him cry, Chen Lang softened and wiped his tears. “Don’t cry. I just mean if you don’t want to do that, you have to be firmer.” He added, “Of course, most of it is your brother’s fault.”

“I know, Lang-ge.” Jingming wiped his eyes. “I won’t make things difficult for others.”

Chen Lang: “Don’t make things too hard on yourself either.”

Chen Lang patted his back. Then, Jingming saw Chu Feng coming out of the cafeteria and signaled Chen Lang to be quiet.

Chu Feng brought over a plate of fried potatoes topped with Houttuynia (fish mint). “Here, eat.”

They were new potatoes—small and thin-skinned. They were halved and deep-fried without peeling. The texture was soft and chewy, the skins crispy, tossed in local five-spice chili powder. Even the strong scent of the fish mint couldn’t hide the aroma of the potatoes.

Jingming’s appetite was much larger than it appeared. No one would guess that this thin, pale boy could polish off three bowls of rice and still eat a bun and a plate of potatoes as a snack. He smiled, hiding the fact that he had just been crying. He exchanged a subtle nod with Chen Lang.

“Mmm, so good.” Jingming wiped his mouth and pointed toward the greenhouses. “I’m going to work then. Over there, right?”

Chu Feng nodded with a kind smile. “Yeah.”

Chen Lang used a toothpick to pick at his teeth. As Chu Feng turned back, Chen Lang acted shocked. “Holy crap, Jingming can really eat these days.”

Chu Feng tossed the plate to Chen Lang. “He’s growing. It’s normal to eat a lot.”

“Ahem.” Chen Lang coughed. “Jingming has changed a lot, hasn’t he?”

Chu Feng still remembered Chen Lang saying Jingming wasn’t cute anymore. He looked at Chen Lang slowly. “Jingming is great no matter how he changes. You’re his brother too; you have a responsibility to care for and protect him.”

Chen Lang felt Jingming’s helplessness again. “I just mean, he’s grown up. He has his own thoughts and his own life.”

“What ‘own life’? We live our lives together.” Chu Feng crossed his arms, watching Jingming walk away.

Chen Lang was silent for a moment. “Brother, what if Jingming isn’t what you think he is?”

Chu Feng: “It doesn’t matter. He’s fine however he is.”

Chen Lang: “What if he thinks it’s not fine? What if what he wants isn’t what you can give him?”

“Xiao Lang,” Chu Feng said, turning to him after Jingming disappeared into the fodder greenhouse. “What I give isn’t based on what I have; it’s based on what he wants.”

“Why are you being so overbearing? It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple.”

In his heart, Chen Lang believed Chu Feng couldn’t do it. People are set in their ways by thirty. Unless something life-threatening happens, it’s hard to change. Sexuality is the same. Working together all these years, Chen Lang knew Chu Feng’s obsession well.

Chu Feng felt guilty toward Jingming. Many times when they were drunk, Chu Feng would sigh and wonder if Jingming was doing okay. When he saw the news about Jingming’s “incident” online, he hadn’t slept for days. He said that when Auntie Chunyi passed away, he promised her he would take care of Jingming.

With Chu Feng’s traditional mindset, simply knowing Jingming was gay might be hard to accept. In his vision, Jingming would marry a kind girl and have kids; Chu Feng would be the uncle and take care of everything. He’d support their whole family if needed. That had been his plan. He’d stayed single because he was thinking of Jingming and was too busy with work.

“Brother, how is the chat with Director Zhang’s niece going?” Chen Lang asked.

“Not much chatting,” Chu Feng said. “I’m busy, and she’s busy.”

“Oh…”

“But there is one thing I’m a bit lost on,” Chu Feng said suddenly.

“Hmm?”

Chu Feng was still thinking about Jingming. “I often can’t figure out what he wants. What he wants seems different from when he was a kid.”

Chen Lang looked away and rolled his eyes. No kidding. He probably wants to screw you.

…

In the fodder greenhouse, the air was thick with the scent of fresh grass. Jingming poked his head in.

“Oh! Jingming’s here!” “Auntie Xiang!” Jingming ran over. “I’m here to help.”

Auntie Xiang, wearing gloves, looked him up and down. “This is rough work. How can you do this?”

“I can! I shoveled manure yesterday!”

The other workers laughed. Jingming explained seriously that he also wanted to ask for help translating the minority languages while they worked. He mentioned Chu Feng sent him, so Auntie Xiang gave him gloves and told him to help her cut the grass.

This highland pasture couldn’t supply enough food for all the cows, so they had another field specifically for King Grass.

“King Grass grows from April to October. High yield,” Auntie Xiang explained. Jingming was in charge of moving the grass to the cutter. “So what do the cows eat in winter?”

“We make silage in the summer. Dry it in the kiln and store it. They eat dry feed then.”

Changling cattle were grass-fed and required massive amounts of grass. The process from planting to selling took about a year and a half. Cutting fresh grass was a daily repetition. Because of the machine noise, Jingming couldn’t listen to his recordings for translation as he’d hoped.

Jingming wasn’t used to physical labor. After leaving Changxi, he’d been a quiet, studious child. Writing took up all his spare time. Since starting work, he’d mostly sat in a chair all day. Xue Dongni once joked that Jingming’s naturally perky butt despite never exercising was a “born bottom’s gift.”

Against this workload, Jingming struggled. halfway through, he was drenched in sweat and his arms ached, but he couldn’t stop. Auntie Xiang was still full of energy; how could a man with a “manly butt” like his back down!

Chu Feng stopped by once but was shooed away by Jingming.

They worked until 6:30 PM. Someone called them for dinner, and Jingming followed Auntie Xiang to the cafeteria. He couldn’t listen to recordings while working, but he could while eating!

“Baby!” Chu Feng was sitting at the entrance reading documents. He stood up as Jingming approached. “I was waiting for you.”

“I’m eating with Auntie Xiang and the others.”

Chu Feng: “Huh?”

“Oh-ho,” Auntie Xiang teased. “Can’t bear to be apart?”

Chu Feng looked embarrassed. He couldn’t act the same way in public as he did at home. This was exactly what Jingming wanted. “Eat by yourself, Brother. I have actual work to do.”

“Are you really not eating with me?”

Jingming shook his head with a cute smile. “No.”

Jingming had sweated a lot. He’d pushed his hair up, revealing his forehead. His face was flushed, his eyes bright, and he smelled of fresh grass as he brushed past Chu Feng. He seemed genuinely happy.

My brother has changed.

Jingming peeked back as he got his tray. Chu Feng was still standing there, watching him. Jingming gave a guilty smile and went to get his food.

Today’s menu: Beer duck, stir-fried eggs with leeks, beef bone and kelp soup, pan-fried tofu, and stir-fried flowering cabbage. The cabbage was bought from local villagers. Since it was late April, most of them had flowered. The cafeteria didn’t pick them clean; they just stir-fried them together.

Chen Chunyi used to do that. She said, “It’s spring; let your stomach know by eating some flowers.” Even though Jingming later realized it was just his mom being lazy, he’d made a pact with his stomach: eat flowers in the spring.

Jingming loved everything. He piled his tray high and found an empty table to wait for Auntie Xiang. He took out his phone and notebook. The uncles and aunties translated for him as they ate, and Jingming scribbled everything down while shoveling large spoonfuls of rice into his mouth.

By the time they finished, Auntie Xiang had translated everything he brought today. Tomorrow, he could finish the subtitles for that video.

Jingming was happy, but Chu Feng was not. When Jingming stood up, he saw Chu Feng still sitting in the corner, his tray half-full. The food must be cold, Jingming thought.

Chu Feng was staring at him. Jingming shuffled over and sat across from him. “Brother, why aren’t you finished?”

“Baby, are you happy when you’re not with me?”

“How can you say that…” Jingming felt guilty because he was avoiding him on purpose. “It’s for work.”

“Then why couldn’t you ask me to eat with you?”

Jingming lowered his head. “You’re the boss. It’s not appropriate.”

Chu Feng stared at him, clearly unsatisfied with the answer.

“Eat, Brother,” Jingming said softly. “I’ll stay here with you.”

Chu Feng’s brow finally relaxed. Though he still felt his brother was acting strange, he picked up his chopsticks. The food was cold. Jingming offered to microwave it, but Chu Feng said it was fine. He took a bite, then looked up at Jingming. Seeing a blade of grass in Jingming’s hair, he reached out to remove it.

Jingming saw the sadness in his eyes. Chu Feng always said Jingming didn’t understand, but there were many things Chu Feng didn’t understand either.

“Thanks, Brother,” Jingming smiled.

But some things simply couldn’t be. Jingming knew his feelings for Chu Feng were complex. They weren’t blood-related, but he’d viewed him as a brother his whole life—that was family. They knew each other’s dreams and supported each other—that was friendship.

But Chu Feng’s meticulous tenderness was too much for the current Jingming. He knew Chu Feng had no “dirty” thoughts. Initially, Jingming thought he didn’t either. He thought it would be fine to be this close forever.

But Jingming’s body was giving him different answers.

Chu Feng was tall, handsome, kind, and steady. He squeezed Jingming’s toothpaste, made breakfast, drove him to work, hugged him when he was cold, fanned him when he was hot—and frequently stripped naked. It wasn’t just about seeing him face-to-face; even looking at a “thirst trap” online a few times would lead to certain thoughts.

“Sigh.”

Jingming was lost in thought and sighed aloud.

“What’s wrong, Baby?”

Jingming snapped out of it and looked at Chu Feng. He knew this situation only existed because he allowed it. If it were Chen Lang, he’d have buried Chu Feng alive by now.

“Nothing…” Jingming said softly.

…

After Chu Feng finished, they drove home. Chu Feng wanted to ask if something was on his mind, but Jingming fell asleep as soon as he got into the car.

Chu Feng hoped to have a heart-to-heart once they were in bed, but as soon as they got home, Jingming took a quick shower while Chu Feng was bringing in the laundry and claimed he had to write and couldn’t sleep yet.

“Baby, you worked hard today. You must be tired. Go to sleep first.” Chu Feng sat on the sofa, looking back at him.

The drowsy Jingming pinched his own thigh hard. “I’m not tired! I’m still writing. You go ahead, Brother.”

Chu Feng had an early meeting in the next city the next morning and couldn’t stay up. He walked over. Jingming glanced at his screen and saw a bunch of gibberish he’d typed while nodding off. He quickly deleted it. “What’s up, Brother?”

Chu Feng looked down and frowned. “Two hours and you wrote 379 words?”

Jingming rubbed his neck with a forced laugh. “Well… I usually write better when I’m alone. I don’t have the ‘feel’ with you sitting here.”

Chu Feng sighed with a smile. “Alright, alright. I’ll wait for you in bed.”

“Don’t wait. I’ll be a while. I’m not sleepy at all.”

“Don’t stay up too late; it’s bad for you.” Chu Feng gave Jingming’s shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I won’t disturb you then.”

“Thanks, Brother. Goodnight.”

Chu Feng went upstairs. Jingming strained his ears to listen. Chu Feng went to the bathroom, the toilet flushed, the bedroom door closed.

“Ah…” Jingming’s eyes slid shut, and he fell asleep at the desk.

…

Jingming woke up at 8:00 AM. His phone alarm was ringing, even though he’d set it for 7:00 AM. He wondered how he’d gotten into bed. Where was Chu Feng?

He checked WeChat. Chu Feng had already left for the meeting. Breakfast was on the table, and Chen Lang would drive him to work at 8:30 AM. Chu Feng would be gone for two days. He’d left a wall of text: where the food was, where the drinks were, and reminders to lock the door.

Jingming replied “Okay.”

On one hand, he was relieved he didn’t have to hide from Chu Feng. On the other, the house felt empty. He ate the sandwich Chu Feng had made and two wax apples.

At 8:30 AM, Chen Lang’s motorcycle roared at the door. “Chen Jingming!!”

Jingming ran out with his bag. If Chu Feng keeps bossing Chen Lang around like this, Chen Lang is going to bury both of us.

“Morning, Lang-ge.” Jingming smiled. “It is very early.” “Sorry, I didn’t know he called you.”

Chen Lang tossed him a helmet. “Get on. Am I part of your couple’s play? He knocked on my door at 7:00 AM, claiming he brought me breakfast, just so I’d drive you to work.”

Jingming explained: “I told him I could take the bus. Sorry, Lang-ge. I’ll buy you coffee later, okay?”

“The bus takes a long route and gets stuck in traffic. He obviously doesn’t want you taking it.”

The weather was perfect—the morning sun wasn’t too hot, and the breeze was warm.

“Do you have a license?” Chen Lang asked suddenly. “Yes. But I haven’t driven since I got it.” “Can you ride a motorcycle?” “I can ride an electric scooter.”

Changxi’s terrain was complex with many narrow old roads. Driving a car was difficult, but motorcycles were convenient.

“Tell you what: go get your motorcycle license. I have a QJ Flash 300 at home I don’t use. You can ride it to work,” Chen Lang said.

“I have a Class D license, Lang-ge.” “Where did you get a Class D license?” “I took the test.”

Chen Lang hadn’t expected him to have one. Jingming explained that Xue Dongni wanted to take the test and dragged him along, so he just did it too.

“She bought a sportbike later.” “What kind?” “An Aprilia, I think. But she’s too busy, so it’s just gathering dust in the garage.”

Chen Lang called it a waste of a good bike. “Well, this way ‘Old Cow’ won’t have anything to say.” He took a shortcut. “Oh, your laptop battery is dead too. The shop said they have to order the part; it’ll be a few days.”

“Okay, thanks, Lang-ge.”

…

When Chu Feng returned, he found Jingming parking a motorcycle at the ranch dorms.

“Where did this come from?” Chu Feng was startled and immediately held the bike steady. “How can you ride a motorcycle? It’s dangerous! Where did you ride it from?”

Jingming kicked down the stand and took off his helmet. “From the office.”

“Xiao Lang gave it to you?” “Yeah, he said he doesn’t ride it.”

Chu Feng yelled: “Chen Lang! Get over here!”

He rarely raised his voice. Chen Lang ran over, startled. “What happened?”

Jingming gave Chen Lang a look: He’s mad again.

“I asked you to drive him for two days, and you let him ride by himself?” Chu Feng stood with his hands on his hips.

Chen Lang: “Yeah, so?”

Chu Feng: “It’s dangerous! There are so many cars on the road.”

Chen Lang: “What kind of talk is that? I ride with all those cars. You drive every day. Jingming has a license and isn’t an idiot. Why can’t he ride?”

“Do you have a license, Baby?” Chu Feng asked. Jingming nodded. “Yes.”

Chu Feng paced. “No. Don’t ride it anymore. Too dangerous.”

“Old Cow, what is wrong with you?” Chen Lang wanted to slap him. “This is a retro cruiser. The biggest risk is spilling your coffee if you brake too hard, okay?”

As another argument flared up, Jingming stepped between them. “Stop fighting. I don’t ride fast. It’s safe.”

“Baby…”

“I’ll be mad if you keep scolding Lang-ge,” Jingming stood tall. “I’m going to ride it.”

Chu Feng sighed heavily. “Fine. I won’t say anything. I haven’t seen you in two days. Come here, give me a hug.”

Jingming dodged. “I have to get to work.” He ran off with his backpack.

“What is he busy with?” Chu Feng asked Chen Lang. “Oh, he’s been working in the fodder greenhouse.”

Chu Feng frowned. “Xiao Lang, don’t you think he’s been weird lately? Like he’s avoiding us on purpose.”

“Hey!” Chen Lang laughed. “What’s it to do with me? Jingming calls me ‘Lang-ge’ all day, buys me coffee… he’s quite clingy.”

Chu Feng’s face darkened. Die of jealousy, then. Chen Lang happily walked back to the office.

…

Jingming got better at avoiding Chu Feng with practice. Playing with his phone during meals, faking sleep in the car, acting busy after work. Locking the door while showering, running to the greenhouses at the ranch, complaining it was too hot to touch in bed. To avoid Chu Feng, he even started leaving early and returning late. He even went on a field trip with Teacher Xie Yan during the May Day holiday.

On the last day of the holiday, Jingming and Teacher Xie took the high-speed rail back from the south. The “field trip” had felt more like a vacation. Jingming had left home so young there were many places he hadn’t seen. Visiting the locations from the articles helped him empathize with the authors.

He was happy, but he inevitably missed Chu Feng. Squeezing toothpaste made him think of Chu Feng doing it for him. Eating made him think of Chu Feng giving him the best pieces. Showering made him think of Chu Feng’s… “thing.” Sleeping made him think of Chu Feng’s bossy hugs.

“Sigh.”

He really missed his laptop; writing on his phone at night was inconvenient. He messaged Chen Lang to ask if it was fixed. Chen Lang called him immediately.

“Hello, Lang-ge.”

“It’s fixed, but I forgot to pick it up. I’m heading to the airport for a business trip.”

“It’s fine, I’ll get it. Just tell me where.”

“Chaoyang Street, near Minzu University. A shop called ‘Brother Wei’s Computer Repair’ in the digital mall. It closes at 6:00 PM; can you make it?”

“Brother… just send me the location.” Chen Lang laughed. “Fine.”

After hanging up, the location didn’t come. Instead, another message did.

Chen Lang: [Old Cow overheard the call. He said he’d go get it for you.] Chen Lang: [Anything on there he shouldn’t see?] Jingming: [No, just work stuff.]

Jingming double-checked his memory. Had he ever downloaded anything “adult”? Any inappropriate photos? No. He wasn’t that kind of person.

“What are you thinking so deeply about?” Xie Yan asked. “Just random stuff,” Jingming smiled. “Talking to your brother?” “No, Lang-ge.”

Xie Yan took a sip of water. “I haven’t seen you contact your brother much this trip. Did you two fight?”

“Well… he’s just busy, Teacher.”

“Oh-ho,” Xie Yan laughed. “So busy he ignores you?” Jingming just played dumb and scratched his head.

Xie Yan: “Do you have a boyfriend, Jingming? Want me to introduce one?”

Jingming’s eyes widened. “Teacher…” He looked around the train carriage anxiously.

“Hahaha, it’s nothing.” Xie Yan puffed out his chest. “I’m not an old fossil. It’s a different era.”

Jingming whispered: “You’re more open-minded than my brother.”

“He doesn’t know?” Jingming shook his head. “I don’t dare tell him.”

Avoiding Chu Feng had been hard on both of them.

“Teacher,” Jingming looked at the older man. “My brother thinks growing up means getting married and having kids. He expects that for himself, and for me.”

“Good lord,” Xie Yan said with disdain. “So young and so feudal?”

Jingming had lost count of how many people had called Chu Feng “feudal.”

“So I don’t dare tell him.”

Xie Yan: “You can’t hide it forever. If you tell him sooner, he might come around sooner.”

Jingming couldn’t hide a secret; his face gave him away. “Hmm?” Xie Yan tilted his head. “I’ll think about it. Thanks, Teacher.”

An absurd thought popped into Xie Yan’s head. “Are you two blood-related?” “No,” Jingming said. Xie Yan’s eyes narrowed. “I see…”

Jingming’s smile looked more like a grimace. He fidgeted and finally faked sleep again.

…

After the train, they took the subway home separately. Jingming lived far away and had to transfer, then take a car. The old street didn’t allow outside cars, so he was dropped off at the entrance.

At 8:30 PM, it was pitch black. There were no messages from Chu Feng.

“Jingming?” someone called. “Uncle Seven.” Uncle Seven waved him over, holding a plastic bag. “What’s up?” Jingming thought he needed something fixed.

Ever since he fixed the incense shop’s security camera, people had been asking him to fix Wi-Fi, phones, and TVs.

Uncle Seven lowered his voice. “I just came from the mini-mart. When I passed the parking spot at the street entrance, I think I saw your brother crying in his car.”

“What?!” Jingming snapped to attention.

“I heard sounds, but the lights were off and there was only the glow of a phone. I didn’t want to intrude in case it was something sad. Go check on him.”

Jingming clutched his bag straps. “Okay, thanks, Uncle Seven.”

He ran toward the entrance, not even noticing the puddles splashing his legs as he stepped on loose stones. The house lights were off. The thought that something had happened to Chu Feng made his heart pound.

“Brother!” Jingming saw Chu Feng’s car parked next to his motorcycle. There was a glow inside. Chu Feng was there. He could see tear tracks on his brother’s face through the reflection.

“Brother! What happened?!” Jingming pounded on the window. “Open the door, quick!”

Chu Feng saw it was Jingming and opened the door, not caring about his tear-stained face. He pulled Jingming into a hug so forcefully that Jingming banged his shin against the car.

“Brother, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Jingming felt around Chu Feng’s body. “Say something!”

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Chu Feng’s voice cracked.

Before Jingming could ask why, he saw his laptop in the passenger seat. It was on, showing his Weibo private messages. Jingming trembled at the sight.

“Baby…” Chu Feng felt him go stiff and hugged him even tighter. “Do you see these hateful things every day? I’m going to sue them all…”

Overcome with emotion, the tough man sobbed loudly, repeating “I’m sorry” and “I was wrong.”

Jingming hugged him back, tears streaming down his face, but not because of the messages. “Brother, it’s okay. I don’t blame you.”

“Baby.” Chu Feng let go slightly, cupping Jingming’s face. Two tearful people looked at each other. He said, “I know why you’ve been acting weird lately. Is it depression?”

“Huh? No…”

“I’ll take you to the doctor. We’ll go tomorrow.”

“It’s really not that.” Jingming stepped back out of the hug, moving his bruised leg.

Chu Feng grabbed his hand, terrified he’d run away. “You’ve been avoiding me. No hugs in bed, no showering together, you even lock the door. My heart breaks every time I hear that lock, Baby.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Baby. I’m open-minded. I know emotions can be an illness. Let me take you to the doctor, okay?”

Jingming lowered his head. He thought about how he’d been sneaking around. He didn’t want to hurt Chu Feng anymore. He remembered Xie Yan saying he couldn’t hide it forever.

“Brother,” Jingming stepped back further. “I’m not depressed. I’m avoiding you because…”

“Tell me.”

Jingming’s fingers dug into his palms. “Because I’m gay.”

He looked up and spoke with conviction. “I’m gay, Brother. I like men. You’re a man, so we can’t act like that anymore. It makes me confused.”

“Wh…” The words caught in Chu Feng’s throat.

My brother is gay. What do I do if he’s gay? What does he mean he’s ‘confused’? He likes me.

Jingming saw the shock and sorrow on Chu Feng’s face. He understood. He lowered his eyes and slowly backed away. If Chu Feng couldn’t accept it, he’d understand. But his tears kept falling. He’d finally come back to his brother, finally had the courage to change, finally got to be a child again.

“Baby.” “Ugh…”

The hand holding his tightened. Chu Feng pulled him close and wiped his tears away. It felt like a final goodbye.

“Give me some time.” “Huh?”

As if making a final resolution, Chu Feng gripped both of Jingming’s hands tightly.

“Brother will become gay, too.”