I Woke Up And My Girlfriend Was Gone - Chapter 43

Chapter 43

The fluorescent light projected the image of Shen Qingzi embracing Zuo Yin from behind onto the bright glass pane opposite them. Zuo Yin stared at the reality divided by the window frames, unable to believe her eyes.

“Don’t leave tonight, okay?” Shen Qingzi whispered into Zuo Yin’s ear. Every warm breath she took carried the intoxicating scent of alcohol. It was a warm embrace that Zuo Yin found impossible to resist.

Looking into Shen Qingzi’s hazy pupils, Zuo Yin pulled away from the embrace, using her logic to suppress her inner desires. “Teacher, you’re drunk.”

Shen Qingzi shook her head. “No, I am very sober.”

“You are Zuo Yin, the person I love.”

No one can control their love for another. Not even Shen Qingzi.

The full moon cast its pure light onto the polished glass, throwing a shimmering reflection into Zuo Yin’s line of sight. Before Zuo Yin could react, she felt a coolness on her neck as Shen Qingzi’s soft palm pressed her head down. Then, Shen Qingzi tilted her head back slightly, her soft long hair falling into Zuo Yin’s palm. She pressed those wine-stained, dusty-rose lips against the corner of Zuo Yin’s mouth.

Tasting those lips again, Zuo Yin found her heart racing uncontrollably. There was bewilderment and shock, but even more so, there was the dreamlike fluttering of her heart.

That abrupt kiss under the moon in Dunhuang had been Zuo Yin’s greatest regret. She had once thought she would simply guard this secret love and stay by her side. She never imagined a day would come when Shen Qingzi would say the word “love” to her.

The first time Shen Qingzi kissed Zuo Yin was in a dim folk bar. She had always thought it was merely an impulse fueled by alcohol; consequently, she had stepped into her high heels and left Dunhuang the very next day. It wasn’t until she kissed Zuo Yin’s lips again that she understood—alcohol only amplified the love she already felt. From the very first moment she met her, she had been unable to forget her.

“I love your paintings, I love the way you smell, and I love the feeling of being with you.”

“Teacher…” Zuo Yin couldn’t believe her ears, her pupils trembling. She was so afraid this was a dream that she gripped Shen Qingzi’s arms tightly, refusing to let go. It was as if by doing so, she could keep this version of Shen Qingzi by her side even if she woke up.

“But what I love most of all is you, Zuo Yin.”

The words felt like ice breaking after a long silence, reaching Zuo Yin’s ears with a profound warmth. The tenderness in Shen Qingzi’s eyes remained unshakable. She lifted Zuo Yin’s hands from her arms and cupped the girl’s face. She pressed her damp lips against the corner of Zuo Yin’s eye, a touch of coolness.

The kiss was so real.

Feeling the tenderness Shen Qingzi was giving her, Zuo Yin could no longer suppress her emotions. The alcohol pushed her to wrap her arms around Shen Qingzi’s neck, pouring out the love she had hidden in the depths of her heart for months. “So do I, Teacher.”

Their soft lips met once more, filled with all the “inappropriate” thoughts Zuo Yin had harbored day and night. Zuo Yin pecked at Shen Qingzi’s lips, kissing her back, plundering the sweetness she had yearned for.

Shen Qingzi held Zuo Yin’s waist, her heart and eyes entirely focused on the bold girl before her. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

“If I had known you would welcome me like this, I would have come to find you and tell you the very second I understood my own heart.”

Zuo Yin shook her head. “It’s not late.” As long as you stay, it will never be too late.

…

Outside the window, snow began to fall, blanketing the ground in pure white. Zuo Yin stepped through the moonlight reflecting the snow, stumbling along as she led Shen Qingzi back to her bedroom.

The girl’s hands, familiar with the path, explored the forest and crossed the streams, leaving faint red marks in the mountain woods that belonged only to her.

“Teacher,” Zuo Yin kissed her, calling her by that title over and over. Not “Shen Qingzi,” not “Sister,” but her Teacher—the one who belonged to her alone.

“Teacher, don’t hold back… Teacher…”

Zuo Yin’s voice brushed past Shen Qingzi’s ear, imprinting the taboo and transgressive nature of their relationship into her mind. The girl imitated the words Shen Qingzi had said to her that night in Dunhuang, wrapping every syllable in warm, wine-scented breath, stimulating her nerves.

“…Xiao Yin.” With hazy eyes, Shen Qingzi hooked her arms around Zuo Yin’s neck, leaning affectionately into the crook of her shoulder. “Mhm…”

She let her breaths, mingled with love, fall beside the girl’s ear in rising and falling waves, giving her both her body and her soul.

…

Moonlight filtered through the gaps in the curtains. Shen Qingzi opened her eyes and looked at Zuo Yin sleeping beside her. Those slightly swollen lips were parted slightly, letting out soft breaths. Fine, soft hair brushed against her face; she looked as docile and obedient as a young deer.

Shen Qingzi reached out, wanting to brush the hair away from Zuo Yin’s face. To her surprise, the moment her finger touched her, Zuo Yin pressed her face into Shen Qingzi’s palm. She rubbed against the soft hand in a half-dreaming state, making the other woman’s heart leap.

“Teacher…” Zuo Yin murmured restlessly, as if sensing the movement. “Don’t leave.”

“I won’t leave. I’m always here,” Shen Qingzi whispered, stroking Zuo Yin’s cheek. She wasn’t going anywhere. Not this time.

…

The next day, the earth woke up wrapped in a vast expanse of white under the shimmering morning light. Zuo Yin opened her eyes. Beneath her thick lashes, her eyes were groggy with sleep, and her brain—numbed by alcohol the night before—was throbbing at the temples.

Zuo Yin hadn’t slept very well. She had been shrouded in an uneasy illusion in her dreams, struggling to break free to no avail. The more she struggled, the deeper the quicksand-like space pulled her in. Until a certain moment, when she felt a familiar warmth surging toward her. She ran forward with all her might to get closer to that warmth, bathing in the light it gave her. Only then did she find a moment of peace.

Thinking back on this, Zuo Yin surveyed the unfamiliar room. Suddenly, a familiar feeling crossed the river of time, traveling from distant Dunhuang into her mind. She whipped her head around to look at the other side of the bed.

Shen Qingzi was lying on her side, sleeping silently. She was pillowed on a soft white cushion, with the sunlight creating a soft glow around her. Gone was the sickly pallor Zuo Yin had seen at the hospital; her thick lashes traced the image of a peaceful sleeper.

It was exactly as Zuo Yin had imagined it countless times. She watched, using her eyes as a brush to carefully sketch Shen Qingzi’s appearance into her heart, hiding it away in secret.

“I love you.”

The sincere confession Shen Qingzi had whispered in her ear echoed again. Everything was as beautiful as a dream.

A glint of light flashed in Zuo Yin’s eyes. She crept out of bed and walked toward the study where everything had begun. Her painting was still hanging quietly in the center of the wall. Its magnificent, mysterious colors were somewhat out of place in the simple, vintage study, yet they fit perfectly. The sunlight streaming through the long European floor-to-ceiling windows on both sides brought out the painting’s eerie, captivating mood to the fullest. It looked as if the room had been designed specifically for it.

“Why aren’t you sleeping a bit longer?”

Shen Qingzi’s tired voice rang out from behind her, and a moment later, a rounded chin rested on her shoulder. She was wearing a pale pink silk robe, the loose collar exposing her snow-white skin—except this field of white was dotted with small red marks. They looked like flower petals shaken down from a plum branch.

Looking at her handiwork, Zuo Yin couldn’t help but swallow hard.

Noticing the girl’s gaze, Shen Qingzi reached out and flicked the tip of Zuo Yin’s nose. “You little cat who’s been stealing cream.”

Zuo Yin blushed at the sudden teasing remark. She gave a small cough and pointed to the painting. “Did you buy that painting, Teacher?”

Shen Qingzi stood beside her, looking at the work that held such deep fate for them. “My father bought it. When I saw it, I asked him for it.”

So that was it. Hearing this, the regret that had been a knot in Zuo Yin’s heart turned into the joy of something lost and found.

“Then… do you like it, Teacher?” Zuo Yin looked at her expectantly.

Shen Qingzi nodded. “Mhm. I loved it at first sight. And after I found out you painted it, I loved it even more.”

Sweetness welled up in Zuo Yin’s heart. She still remembered sitting in front of this painting and having that unrealistic thought: If one day she could let Shen Qingzi see her work, would she be surprised by it? At that time, she never dreamed it would actually be sent to Shen Qingzi, be recognized by her, and be hung on her wall.

The girl was shy, blinking and unsure of how to respond. Shen Qingzi kissed Zuo Yin’s earlobe. “Xiao Yin, let’s paint oil paintings together from now on.” Her slightly dry lips pecked at the soft earlobe, leaving one scorching spot after another, causing a flush to rise from the beast hidden in Zuo Yin’s heart.

Zuo Yin nodded. “Mhm.”

“And how long shall we paint for?” Shen Qingzi asked thoughtfully, her arm around Zuo Yin’s waist.

“Is a lifetime enough?” Zuo Yin looked back at her, speaking the first romantic words of her life.

Shen Qingzi didn’t answer right away. Her eyes curved slightly as she gazed at Zuo Yin, and with a warm breath, she pressed her lips against the corner of Zuo Yin’s mouth.

“It’s not enough.”