I Woke Up And My Girlfriend Was Gone - Chapter 29

Chapter 29

The night was thick, with only a few sparse stars hanging in the dark curtain of the sky, struggling to pierce the silence of the night and the haze covering Zuo Yin’s world.

“Xiao Yin, this isn’t your fault. Don’t think that way.”

Shen Qingzi’s soft voice traveled through Zuo Yin’s ears and drifted straight into her heart.

Zuo Yin managed a faint smile to show she was alright, saying, “It’s okay. In the future, I’ll just make sure to dodge faster.”

But the smile on the girl’s face was exceptionally pale, lacking the strength to support the “I’m fine” she wanted to convey.

Shen Qingzi couldn’t help but reach out to brush the messy hair away from the side of Zuo Yin’s face. Her eyes were full of heartache as she followed up with a promise: “In the future, if anything happens, you can always come to me.”

Zuo Yin tilted her head slightly, resting her cheek in Shen Qingzi’s palm. Loneliness forced her to lean into that hand, the only source of warmth. Without realizing when it had started, she had come to trust the person before her completely.

“Thank you.”

Shen Qingzi helped Zuo Yin tidy her loose hair once more. “It’s late. Go inside and get some rest. Your mother will wake up soon.”

“Mhm. You should go back and rest too, Teacher. I’ve troubled you today.” Zuo Yin nodded. Her words were still sparse and plain, but they carried a rare concern she seldom showed others.

“I’ll watch you go in,” Shen Qingzi said, walking with Zuo Yin toward Zuo Lan’s ward.

Shen Qingzi watched her enter, staring at the girl’s receding back through the glass on the door. Her eyes flickered with many emotions that she herself found difficult to define. It wasn’t until the distant sound of a nurse pushing a cart echoed that Shen Qingzi put her hands in her pockets and left the hospital.

…

After seeing Zuo Yin return, Zhang Xia gave her a few reminders and left. The large ward was quiet; every curtain-drawn bed was a small, guarded world. Zuo Yin sat on the companion bed, her eyes fixed in Zuo Lan’s direction, though her gaze had lost its focus.

No matter how much she argued or fought with Zuo Lan on a daily basis, the bond tightly bound by blood could never be severed. The guilt that Shen Qingzi had smoothed over surged back into Zuo Yin’s heart—how had she not realized that Zuo Lan had indeed been drinking too much that day? If she had only kept that string of awareness taut in her mind, today’s incident wouldn’t have happened.

“Ugh…”

Just as Zuo Yin was drowning in self-reproach, a groan came from the hospital bed.

Zuo Lan struggled to open her eyes. She looked at the greenish cloth curtain in her vision and noticed the girl sitting by her side. “Zuo Yin?”

Zuo Yin snapped her attention back to reality. “You’re awake?”

“Mhm.” Zuo Lan nodded, but felt an excruciating pain in her throat.

Zuo Yin saw her confusion and explained, “You drank yourself into a gastric hemorrhage. The stomach acid burned your esophagus. Don’t talk.”

“Mm.” Zuo Lan nodded again, struggling to sit up. “What time is it?”

Zuo Yin checked her phone. “Five. It’s still a long way until dawn.”

Zuo Lan seemed to remember something and guessed with a hint of expectation, “I remember you coming back… was it…”

“No,” Zuo Yin answered decisively. “Auntie Zhang found you.”

Hearing this, Zuo Lan leaned back against the pillow and looked up at the long strip of light protruding from the white ceiling. Her chaotic memories loaded back in broken fragments. Suddenly, Zuo Lan grabbed Zuo Yin’s arm and rolled up her sleeve. Nothing on the left. She checked the right.

The bloodstain that had flashed in her memory had congealed into a scar on her daughter’s slender forearm, striking her like a slap to the face.

“Does it hurt?” Zuo Lan asked.

“It’s been fine for a long time.” Zuo Yin pulled her arm back and rested it awkwardly on her lap.

Zuo Lan: “Where have you been these past two days?”

Zuo Yin didn’t want to tell her she was staying at Shen Qingzi’s, so she lied: “The dorms.”

The ward suddenly fell silent. Zuo Lan looked at the girl before her, realizing at some point she had grown so much. Were those red-rimmed eyes caused by the scare of her being sent to the emergency room?

Zuo Lan took a shallow breath, and a heavy sound of exhaling, followed by an admission of fault, reached Zuo Yin’s ears.

“It’s Mom’s fault.”

Zuo Yin’s pupils shrank. She looked in disbelief at this woman who always used “I’m your mother” as an excuse to never be wrong.

It was Zuo Lan’s first time apologizing. She gripped the blanket and continued, “Mom did do the wrong thing this time. It won’t happen again. Go home and tidy up the house. Throw the beer bottles away. See if you can return the ones that aren’t opened.”

The woman just didn’t know how to speak; even an apology turned back into being improper.

Thinking this, Zuo Yin smiled slightly. “You’re just ordering me to do chores, aren’t you?”

Zuo Lan couldn’t help but retort, “Anyway, some of that alcohol isn’t even opened. Can’t you save your old lady some money? Also, bring me the money from the returns.”

“And… bring me a change of clothes while you’re at it.”

As expected, the sentimentality lasted less than two seconds before Zuo Lan returned to her usual self. Zuo Yin’s shock turned back into familiarity. Compared to the guilt-ridden Zuo Lan who actually acted like a mother, she preferred this bossy woman. It was simply the mode they had used for nearly twenty years; they were used to it.

“What about cigarettes?” Zuo Yin asked playfully.

Zuo Lan pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “Get going already! Your old lady can’t smoke right now!”

“At least you have some sense,” Zuo Yin laughed, standing up to tuck the blanket in for Zuo Lan. She still didn’t feel at ease leaving her, so she sat back down on the chair after tucking her in, showing no sign of leaving immediately.

“Tsk, why haven’t you left yet?” Zuo Lan tried to shoo her away. “Don’t keep watch over me here. I’m fine. I’m not going to die.”

“I’ll leave when it’s light out,” Zuo Yin said, preparing to take off her shoes and lie down on the narrow companion bed.

Unexpectedly, Zuo Lan reached out to stop her. “Go back and sleep. You’re scary to look at here. I just managed to survive; I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and be scared to death by your ‘dead-person’ face.”

Zuo Yin’s face darkened a few shades. She stood up. “Fine, you said it.”

“Mhm,” Zuo Lan said, covering herself with the blanket. “But remember to come see me when you wake up.”

Zuo Yin patted Shen Qingzi’s coat draped over her arm and gave a short “Mhm.”

As Zuo Yin turned to leave, Zuo Lan’s lips twitched. She couldn’t help calling out, “Zuo Yin.”

Zuo Yin stopped instantly and looked back. “What is it?”

Zuo Lan licked her dry lips and made up an excuse: “My phone credit is almost out.”

Zuo Yin knew Zuo Lan was just reluctant to see her go, but the woman was too stubborn to say it and kept pushing her away. She looked at Zuo Lan, her tone much softer: “I know. Get some rest.”

With that, the green curtain swayed slightly, and Zuo Yin disappeared from Zuo Lan’s sight.

…

The city was beginning to wake up at this hour. Wrapped in Shen Qingzi’s coat, Zuo Yin walked back from the bus stop toward her alley in the biting morning wind. Her lonely, dark shadow was stretched long on the mossy stone bricks by the dim streetlights.

She looked at the old locust tree standing in the faint morning light and thought that besides having a great eye for oil paintings, Zuo Lan was truly terrible at everything else. Her taste in men was bad, and so was her taste in houses.

Back then, Zuo Lan had used the last bit of money her father gave her to buy this expensive row of old Western-style houses, hoping to make a fortune when the government demolished them. In the end, all the surrounding houses were torn down, but her place alone was designated as a historical protection building. It couldn’t be demolished or sold. Other than serving as a refuge for the two of them, it was useless.

“So stupid,” Zuo Yin muttered a mockery through the wrap of Shen Qingzi’s coat, a rare smile appearing on her face.

The house was just as she had left it, yet somehow different. The old window frames had been replaced with aluminum alloy security windows. Although beer bottles were still scattered on the living room floor, it was much cleaner than before. Seeing the oil paintings neatly arranged to one side, Zuo Yin couldn’t help but imagine Zuo Lan tidying the house. That such a disorganized person would actually clean up on her own initiative…

For some reason, Zuo Yin didn’t find it jarring; instead, she felt this was how Zuo Lan was meant to be. Her mother had once been a young lady of a wealthy family, loved by her own father.

With those thoughts, Zuo Yin climbed the repaired stairs to the second floor. The drafty studio had been renovated, her room had new wallpaper, and the blanket at the foot of her bed was fluffy, as if it had recently been aired in the sun.

This crazy woman always made her feel both love and hate. Zuo Yin sighed and flopped onto the bed.

Vibrate, vibrate.

At that moment, the phone in her pocket buzzed. Shen Qingzi’s rabbit avatar popped up.

[Is your mom awake?]

Zuo Yin rolled over and replied: [She’s awake.]

Shen Qingzi: [Then you should rest well. Don’t catch a cold.]

[I’m at home now, packing some things for her to take to the hospital,] Zuo Yin replied.

Shen Qingzi, leaning against her headboard, frowned slightly. [You went back already?]

[No, I’ll go after I sleep,] Zuo Yin answered.

Shen Qingzi’s brow smoothed over. [Okay, I won’t disturb you then.]

Zuo Yin’s screen then received a sticker of a little rabbit rolling over in a “goodbye.” The exhaustion from her long walk home was melted away by Shen Qingzi’s rabbit.

The conversation ended with a silent, mutual understanding. Zuo Yin tilted her head and saw Shen Qingzi’s khaki coat placed by the pillow. The phone beside her was still on the chat interface.

She must have gone back long ago. Has she not slept yet? Was she waiting for me?

The girl secretly turned over and hugged the coat in her arms. The faint scent of irises hadn’t dissipated, lingering around her in threads, as if the embrace at the end of that corridor hadn’t ended.

Perhaps because she was too exhausted from the day’s turmoil, Zuo Yin fell asleep amidst that gentle warmth in moments, her questions left unanswered.