I Will Break Off the Engagement Because I'm Jealous - The Untalented Villainess Who Rejected the Prince Searches for a Safe Haven with the Cheat Heroine - Chapter 5.7

After eating their fill and sharing laughter, the two returned to the inn before dark. By the time they had each finished bathing and were ready to sleep, night had fallen completely.

“…What are you doing? Are you feeling unwell, Emilia-sama?”

Emilia in her nightgown was holding the holy sword in a ready stance but she shook her head at Iris and let out a sigh. Her mouth was twisted half-open, her face pale.

(No matter what I do, this sword won’t become the “Sword of Light”… I don’t even know how it happened before. The holy sword’s skill is definitely “Sword.” But if it doesn’t become the “Sword of Light,” it’s just a sharp blade. If, if during the daytime…)

When they had been playing tag with the Blaze Brigade. Emilia had unconsciously summoned the “Sword of Light.” It had freely cut through walls to create rubble footholds, shattered Ren and the others’ swords from a distance, and even cut through the water gate’s grate underwater under strong water pressure.

Emilia’s complexion grew even worse. The problem was that last part—”cutting the water gate’s grate.” The current had been so strong that normally a sword couldn’t even touch it. If it had remained the silver sword, she probably would have run out of air before cutting through the grate. She had jumped into the river and likely would have become a water corpse.

(Even though I was completely carried away that was a foolish choice. Going from the water gate into the underground waterways to reach Iris was mostly guesswork too. If I had made one mistake anywhere, I would have died.)

A shiver ran down her spine, and the strength drained from her shoulders. The sword’s hilt slipped from her hand… and when she frantically tried to catch it before it fell, it simply vanished into her hand.

Emilia looked up at the ceiling and sighed again. Her let-down hair tickled her skin through the thin nightgown, feeling slightly itchy. The wooden boards of the ceiling were dark-colored, giving a moderate sense of age and as her thoughts settled, they turned toward her daytime self.

“Why was I jealous?”

It was true she had been irritated about not being able to stay with Iris. But the moment she saw Levi and Iris holding hands. The moment she saw Iris’s smile directed at someone other than herself. Her blood boiled. She clearly named that emotion “jealousy” and surrendered to her raging heart. But it was abnormal. She hurt people, trusted her instincts and acted recklessly. She even threw flashbangs and was prepared to knock Iris unconscious to take her away. What would she have done if she had been rejected or failed? Far from ruining their relationship, who knows how low she might have fallen.

And the reason she went that far even Emilia herself didn’t understand.

(Did I think I was losing a friend? Well, Iris is someone I wanted to be with so much that I abandoned Prince Sieg for her so it’s not particularly strange. But something feels “muddled.”)

“Jealousy, you say? Of what?”

“No. It’s nothing.”

Answering briefly, Emilia looked at Iris. A wry smile rose to her lips.

“…You’re one to talk, what is that?”

“Nothing at all. Please pay it no mind.”

Iris was curled up under the covers in the corner of the bed. Only her head was out, facing this way. She looked like a cat or something. Emilia watched her, blew out the flickering light, and got under her own covers.

“Like this.”

In the dark room. Covering herself with the blanket like Iris, curling up. Still in seiza position, she leaned forward, placed both elbows on the bed, and peered at Iris with only her head sticking out from the covers.

“Bff.”

“What’s that?”

Iris burst out laughing, and they stared each other down loosely from diagonal positions.

“I. Want to be with you.”

“Oh…”

When faced with such direct feelings, Iris averted her eyes.

“Me too.”

“You’re pretty far away for that.”

“This is modesty.”

“What’s that.”

Emilia unintentionally relaxed the corners of her mouth and lowered her gaze.

“I’m just being clingy. Sorry. Being by your side twenty-four seven would be weird anyway.”

“No, not at all! Me too!”

Blue eyes stared straight at her.

Trembling.

Swaying.

“Always, by Emilia-sama’s side.”

“You’re pretty far away for that.”

“I’m modest.”

“Liar. Prince Sieg, Baron Kismort, Levai-kun… maybe say that after you show some restraint around members of the opposite sex in public.”

“Grrn.”

Iris made a face.

“……When I’m with men. Emilia-sama, you don’t like it?”

Her expression vanished completely.

“Yeah… I don’t like it.”

“Why? When I’m with a man, you get jealous, right?”

To Emilia’s immediate answer, a clinging question returned. Emilia…

“……Well. For some reason, people like Rekka-san keep trying to pair us up. But that’s not my intention, okay? I like men. And you do too, right? Iris.”

She lined up her words as if probing. She certainly felt jealous. But she didn’t have romantic feelings for Iris that was Emilia’s understanding. Both in her previous life and since being reborn. Emilia had no intention of homosexuality.

None.

(…It doesn’t hurt. Of course, it doesn’t. I’m straight.)

Ignoring the throbbing pain. Ignoring the aching deep in her chest. Emilia waited for Iris’s reply as if enduring.

“……Well.”

(She looks really reluctant.)

After Iris finally replied following a long pause, Emilia let out a small sigh. Probing the “muddled” feelings in her heart was somewhat depressing. Turning her attention to that elusive emotion, Emilia spun her words.

“Mm… well. So it’s not like that, but. I want to be with you, and I even broke with Prince Sieg for that. My emotions are a bit heavy. I don’t know what to do with this “muddled” feeling myself. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

“……No.”

Iris answered softly, her face lowered. The expression Iris pressed into the sheets was completely invisible to Emilia.

That made her feel somewhat anxious.

“I think I don’t trust you. Maybe I’m jealous of your freedom.”

Unable to think of anything else, Emilia simply piled on words.

“I…! Have always been jealous of the free Emilia-sama.”

“Of me?”

“Yes.”

Iris declared, lifting her face, staring straight at her. The room was dark but she thought she saw something like the sparkle of a teardrop on Iris’s face.

“Iris? What’s wrong? Your face.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Is that so.”

Emilia replied curtly, watching Iris bury her face in the sheets again.

(I don’t get it. Don’t I trust Iris? Aren’t we friends? What is this jealousy, this “muddled” feeling…? It’s irritating…)

Emilia.

Charged.

“Wha—!?”

Moving her knees quickly in alternation, she closed in right before Iris. She pressed her forehead against Iris’s, which had risen in surprise. It felt slightly damp. She felt humidity on their foreheads, breath, and around their eyes. The temperature was high too… but she didn’t know if it was hers or Iris’s. But Iris was breathing heavily, and her cheeks were flushed. For after being surprised, it seemed like a prolonged, strong excitement.

(It’s not like love. Probably different. I don’t feel the heart-pounding like I did with Prince Sieg. Iris is beautiful but it’s different. It’s just this “muddled” feeling.)

While peering into blue eyes. While feeling the “muddled” feeling grow larger.

“Do you like me?”

The words spilled out like tears.

Her mind went blank.

The world felt distant.

Only Iris.

Was visible.

Iris’s eyes wavered.

She could tell from her breath that her mouth moved several times.

She felt the heat in her cheeks and forehead rising.

That might have been Emilia’s own excitement.

“Eh. I————”

Her whisper tickled Emilia’s ear and Emilia quickly moved her knees, pulling back violently. She retreated until she was barely about to fall off the bed, pursed her lips, and stared at Iris as if glaring. Though it was a warm season, moving away from her side made her feel slightly chilly.

“Why are you moving away!?”

“I just felt like whatever you said would be bad. Sorry for saying something weird. Forget it.”

“Emilia-sama…”

Declaring unilaterally. Emilia lowered her face. Burying her face in the sheets, she took a deep breath. The bed smelled slightly musty.

“We have a meeting with the Blaze Brigade tomorrow. Let’s sleep. Goodnight, Iris.”

“You’re going to sleep like that!?”

“I’ll sleep in the lower seat position. I’m in that kind of mood.”

“Lower seat…?”

Iris’s confused voice sounded strangely pleasant to her ears. The back of her head felt tingly. The “muddled” feeling swirled deep in her chest, feeling unpleasant… but still, gradually, sleepiness grew stronger.

(What am I doing? I… about Iris… what does Iris think of me? I want to ask, but I’m scared…)

Her thoughts scattered. Her eyelids fell. Her breath grew thin and quiet.

And so, once again.

★ ★ ★

“I love you. Emilia-sama————”

No one would hear her words.

No one would know her anguish.