I Will Break Off the Engagement Because I'm Jealous - The Untalented Villainess Who Rejected the Prince Searches for a Safe Haven with the Cheat Heroine - Chapter 3.1

Dazzling————In the dimly lit carriage, Emilia murmured this vaguely. The words rolled around in her mouth and vanished. Of course, she wasn’t referring to the interior light.

It was Iris.

(Here in this cramped carriage, I’ve not only gotten to eat meals more delicious than the academy cafeteria, but I’ve even been cleaned up completely. It’s like I took a bath. She made a lot of mistakes at first, but she became a super maid in just one month, didn’t she, Iris.)

Iris, blessed with the skill “Talent” that allowed her to “grow infinitely with effort.” Thanks to her, the carriage journey to her family home had been smooth.

Now all that was left was to rest, and Emilia wrapped herself in a blanket. Lying down, she gazed at Iris beside her.

(The protagonist of the world… a childlike light itself. I don’t like princes or anything like that. She’s cooking meals for me.)

Iris was currently sewing. It seemed she even trained things like her breathing and sleep, to the point she hardly needed to sleep at all. She was clearly prepared for a long night. Emilia couldn’t possibly imitate that. It had been a tough day, and her eyelids were starting to feel heavy.

But there was a strong heat deep in her chest.

She didn’t really want to sleep.

She felt muddled. But she couldn’t sort it out properly.

(This muddled feeling… Before, it would clear up smoothly just by looking at Iris. Isn’t it jealousy towards His Highness? Towards that person who, content with his privileged position, did as he pleased.)

Prince Sieg, who appropriated the achievements of others. She couldn’t stand the sight of him, yet she loved him. So, Emilia tested his love. But Sieg did not love her. That’s what she had thought.

However.

(He chased after me, trying to get me back. What if, by some chance? What if I misunderstood something, and my judgment at the ball was wrong?)

If Sieg truly loved Emilia.

Then Emilia had made an irreparable choice.

No.

It could be remedied.

If she offered up Iris, surely Sieg would accept Emilia back————.

(Hah!? What am I thinking————!? I could never betray Iris!)

Dismissing the thought as foolish, Emilia curled up, pulling the blanket over her head. She closed her eyes, wanting to fall asleep quickly, but her head grew hot, and sleep seemed unlikely.

A hand came to rest on her shoulder, over the blanket.

“Please rest, Lady Emilia. Shall I give you a massage, as usual?”

It was Iris’s gentle voice. Her hand slowly stroked from Emilia’s shoulder to her back. When she did that, the depths of Emilia’s head grew heavy and dull but the heat in her chest, the muddled feeling, grew stronger.

Emilia threw off the blanket and sat up.

In the faint light, facing Iris who was looking at her calmly and waiting for her…

She couldn’t bear to face her.

Emilia searched for a place for her wavering gaze to land, unable to bear the silence.

“Why… why are you so kind to me, Iris?”

“Lady Emilia…………”

Trying to push out the muddled feeling, she put it into words.

The anguish————increased.

Because she had become aware of it.

Iris was kind to her.

Then, what about Emilia?

(The one who’s content… is me…)

Iris, whom she had become friends with right after entering the academy. There was the goal of avoiding the game’s ruin, but stronger than that was her admiration… and yet, strangely, they got along well. Even though she seemed like a person from a distant world, before she knew it, Iris was always by her side, and she found it hard to be apart.

Using the excuse that Prince Sieg was targeting her, she had them share a room in the dormitory. Hearing that Iris was earning her own tuition, she asked her to take care of her personal needs as a job. They spent time together, studied together, and surprisingly their grades were evenly matched. They cried and laughed together, were together every day.

Iris rushed to her in her crisis, took her away when she could no longer stay in the country. Protected her in dangerous situations, and even now stayed by her side. Before she knew it, Emilia had become completely reliant on her.

The “Cheat Heroine,” Iris.

(And yet, I… to this child, I!)

Emilia… had done nothing for that Iris. Not only that, she had even tried to push Sieg onto her. Moreover, she had even thought that if she offered Iris up, she might be able to return to Sieg.

(I’m trying to use Iris for my own sake! I am using her! This is just like Lord Sieg…!)

A distorted, abnormal emotion swirled. The muddled feeling in the depths of Emilia’s chest flowed out through her blood to her whole body. Hugging her own body, Emilia contorted her face in agony.

“I————I’m jealous of myself!”

“…………Eh? Lady… Emilia?”

Perhaps thinking she was tired, confusion appeared on Iris’s face, which had been looking at her with concern. Emilia trembled, as if begging for forgiveness.

“You know… I thought that if it was you, I could forgive you no matter what you did to me.”

Pushed out by the trembling, the droplets welling in her eyes spilled over.

“Not just your talent, you’re a person who truly shines. If it was you, I wouldn’t mind even if you did terrible things to me. Even if you took Prince Sieg away, it would be fine. I thought like that. But that is…”

Emilia clutched the hesitantly offered hand as if clinging to it.

“An arrogant delusion! While thinking you’re amazing, I’m looking down on you! I’m content with the position of ‘friend,’ letting you do everything…! To the Iris who is so kind to me, I haven’t been kind at all!”

As if in prayer, she rubbed Iris’s hand against her forehead. Driven by the muddled feeling, Emilia spat it out.

“Kind———————”

In the now quiet carriage, Iris’s clear voice resonated.

“To someone like me. But Lady Emilia, you are the daughter of a Duke’s family. Someone like me is just the daughter of a poor baron. I’ve already received far more than enough. To ask for more than this, how could I…”

“That’s not enough, that kind of thing…! You can’t call this making an effort! I haven’t been making any effort to do anything for you! Or are you going to say it!? Will you tell me!?”

“I won’t say it.”

Iris fell silent. The word “effort” had silenced her. Emilia raised her face and stared intently at the nearby Iris. She was looking down, her face red. Tears were visible at the corners of her eyes, and she looked as if she was angry.

(I don’t want to be hated.)

By the friend who publicly declared she hated people who didn’t make an effort.

“What… what can I do for you? I’ll do anything. I should probably think of it myself, but… I don’t know what you want me to do.”

Emilia desperately tried to close the distance or perhaps, she sidled up to her like she was currying favor. Anxious over the non-response, she closed the distance.

“Ah… that’s right. If you don’t like it, say so.”

She continued, almost in a whisper.

Emilia’s hand hesitantly came to rest on Iris’s shoulder. Iris flinched and trembled, but didn’t raise her face or make a sound. Watching Iris, who was breathing as if hiding, Emilia slowly began to stroke her.

Her shoulders. Her upper arms. Avoiding her sides, her back.

“How is it?”

When she asked timidly,

“It’s not that I dislike it. But…”

Finally, a reaction. She seemed to hesitate, as if she wanted to say something, but there was no continuation. Emilia couldn’t discern Iris’s finer feelings. Deciding to continue for now, she put her arms around Iris’s back and, tilting her head slightly, continued stroking.

“Your body is stiff. Should I give you a massage?”

“I’m just tense… not stiff.”

“What’s that supposed to mean. Relax more.”

Liar… she thought, while occasionally putting strength into her fingertips. The base of her neck and around her shoulder blades were hard. Using both hands, embracing her from the front as if to scoop her up, Emilia continued to stroke.

So that at least a little—it would be filled with kindness.

(Like how I felt good when she did it for me, things that would make this child happy. More, I need to make more effort. I want Iris to be happy.)

Occasionally, a suppressed-sounding sigh escaped Iris’s small mouth. When Emilia pushed her hands into Iris’s back in time with her breath, Iris trembled and let out a moan. Since it didn’t seem to be painful, she continued, and the tension in Iris’s back gradually eased.

At the same time.

(This is right… the muddled feeling is disappearing.)

The emotion that had been circulating in her blood and driving Emilia was showing signs of calming down.

(Even when Iris stroked me, it didn’t disappear. I want to do more, even more for her.)

Emilia continued to stroke.

Until Iris, who normally hardly ever slept.

Slept so soundly that she didn’t wake until dawn.

Until she fell asleep, clinging to Emilia tearfully as if being spoiled, not letting go.