I Was Meant to Be the Evil Wife, But the Cold Marquis Fell for Me - Chapter 23

When she awoke, Liliana found herself lying in the bedroom at the back of her chambers. The familiar atmosphere of the room brought her relief.

Her head still spun, her heart throbbed painfully with each beat. Yet little by little, the pain eased.

“…Liliana?”

A voice called her name gently, filled with concern.

She realized her hand was warm, someone was holding it. As though that hand kept her from sinking away.

She knew this hand, this voice, this warmth, this sensation. It was the flow of Leivis’s magic.

“Lord Leivis…?”

Her blurred vision cleared enough to see him. Their eyes met, and he exhaled in relief.

Her awareness gradually sharpened.

“Why… why am I here, holding your hand…?”

She couldn’t recall how she had ended up in this state.

“You unconsciously poured too much magic into your embroidery. It disrupted your balance. I’m adjusting it now. How do you feel?”

She checked herself. It was like basking in sunlight—warm, soft, safe.

“…It feels wonderful…”

The sensation he gave her was so comforting it almost hurt, tears threatening to spill.

“…I’m sorry for troubling you.”
“It’s no trouble. The fault is mine for not noticing until you collapsed.”

He blamed himself. Seeing him wear such a pained expression hurt her.

Holding her hand, his mouth twisted with regret.

“I was too happy…”
“…Happy?”
“That you gave me a gift. I was so elated I failed to notice the magic imbued in your embroidery or your condition…”

Liliana’s eyes widened.

(Was he truly that happy?)

She had thought his joy was polite exaggeration. But he had meant it sincerely.

She was stunned, yet deeply moved.

“…You must learn to control your magic. We’ll resume training.”

His firm resolve made her heart leap.

—Magic training. He had once refused her, saying he could not guide her.

Would that mean another person would teach her? Someone else, a man suited to her?

The thought alone made her body tense.

“…Thank you, Lord Leivis. But it’s fine.”

She forced a light tone.

“If embroidery caused this, I’ll simply stop embroidering. That’s all.”

She smiled, trying not to seem stiff.

“I don’t need you to go so far. I’ll behave quietly.”
“…Liliana, please don’t say that…”

His face looked wounded. Liliana thought it cruel. His hand was so gentle, yet his expression so pained.

“B-but… wouldn’t someone else have to teach me…?”

The idea of entrusting herself, vulnerable, to another man was unbearable.

“No other man will touch you!”

Leivis’s voice rang out, filled with shock, urgency, anger.

“Lord Leivis…?”
“…Forgive me for shouting. Truly, I won’t let another man lay a finger on you.”

Then who would teach her?

“…Are there no women who can?”
“Women’s magic is receptive, inward. They aren’t suited to guiding.”

So, it would have to be a man. But Leivis, famed for his power, could not entrust his wife to another without scandal.

“…Then… you?”
“I intended to from the start.”
“But you said you couldn’t—”
“That was because I didn’t want to treat you as a research subject. I feared burdening you, dragging you into my selfishness. And…”

He broke off. Liliana waited, eyes fixed on him.

He groaned, looking away.

“…At that time, I couldn’t control myself. I might have lost control.”
“Was it that bad? I’m sorry I didn’t notice…”
“N-no… it’s fine now. But then, I might have hurt you. So, I kept my distance.”

His brows furrowed with regret.

“But that was wrong. Abandoning you midway was more irresponsible. Liliana, will you trust me again?”

His golden eyes shone with quiet determination.

“Forgive my selfishness. This time, I’ll guide you until you’re stable, until you’re confident.”
“But…”
“This isn’t research. It’s treatment. I want you to live peacefully, without suppressing what you love.”

His proposal was clearly the best choice.

(But…)

Liliana hesitated. Magic training seemed far too intimate.

Seeing her silence, Leivis spoke painfully.

“You’re in great danger now…”
“Danger? You mean magic might run wild?”
“To men of high magic, you’re like a feast laid out, irresistible…”
“…Eh?”

He wasn’t joking. His serious face proved it.

“…Of course, reason and restraints keep us in check. But if starving, reason could shatter, and one could fall into beastly hunger. I’m fine—but others…”

Liliana listened, stunned, slowly understanding.

—She was unconsciously luring men of high magic.

She was speechless.

For men, such impulses were strong. For a high-magic man, a woman capable of bearing his child, radiating magic openly, was temptation itself.

—Shameful.

She understood his worry. His wife attracting other men would be scandalous.

—She had no choice. She must accept treatment. She must learn control. For her future, for survival.

“P-please… help me!”

She sprang up, clutching his hands with both of hers.

“Ah—of course. By the name and crest of Leivis Elsdean, I swear to help you!”
“You may use me as a test subject—”
“I’ll never do that!”
“But I give nothing back… I have nothing…”
“That’s not true. To me, you are—”
“Uwaaaah…!”
“Alright, alright, don’t cry…”

Terrified and overwhelmed, she sobbed for a while. Leivis waited patiently until she calmed.

At last, she quieted.

“Liliana. I’ll take responsibility and guide you. But promise me one thing.”
“Yes. Anything.”
“Never say you’re worthless, or that you have nothing. No self-deprecation.”

His voice and gaze were utterly serious. Liliana was struck silent.

“I don’t want to hear such words from you.”
“Y-yes! I’m your wife. I must stand proud.”

Even if only in form, she was the wife of House Elsdean. To belittle herself would harm its dignity.

“…Other people’s eyes don’t matter.”

His voice was calm yet firm, his expression serious, his eyes warm yet tinged with sadness.

He looked straight at her.

“I want you to cherish yourself, because you are my cherished one.”
“…Yes…”

She nodded instinctively. She didn’t understand his true feelings, but if he wished it, she would try not to think herself worthless at least not aloud.

(…Cherished one?)

His words echoed inside her. She tried not to dwell, lest she lose herself in them.

“Um… may I ask one thing?”
“What is it?”
“Please keep the magic training secret from everyone…”

She especially didn’t want Elina—the heroine—to know. Such intimate scenes had never appeared in the novel. She mustn’t disrupt the story.

She wanted only a “white marriage,” a peaceful divorce, compensation, and a convent. She didn’t want to obstruct Elina’s happiness or sainthood.

(Have they grown closer this week?)

She had been secluded, unaware. But lovers often grew in secret.

(They’re destined. I needn’t worry.)

She wouldn’t ask. She would wait, then feign surprise and bless them, then propose divorce.

“…Alright. But where shall we train? The parlor and library are too public. Servants are always nearby…”

He thought, then his face lit up.

“There’s one place we can keep secret.”
“Where?”
“The bedroom.”
“……”
“At night, no one enters.”
“That’s…”

Of course. No one would intrude upon the master’s bedroom at night.

(Is this alright…?)

It felt too private.

“I’ll touch only your hands.”
“I trust you but won’t it be misunderstood?”
“On the contrary, it will reassure them. If they think nothing ever happens, they’ll meddle.”
“Y-yes…”

They were husband and wife, expected to produce an heir. Not sharing a bed was stranger. The servants already gossiped.

And Leivis promised not to touch her beyond her hands. The “white marriage” would remain intact.

Elina would believe it was only duty, without love.

“…Please guide me.”