I Thought I Was Married, But I Was Left Alone, So I'll Live as I Please. So Please Don't Mind Me Anymore, My Lord of the Border - Chapter 28

“The one I love is Ash. Only you. Do I need a reason to go help the person I love?”

“…!”

That’s unfair. When he says that, I can’t respond with anything.

“You’re the only one I can love. I’m glad you’re alive. I’m truly glad I made it in time.”

He was even concerned about the Kreuz territory and had looked into various things in his own way, Oliver-style.

So that he could lend a hand immediately if I asked for help.

I never imagined he’d been thinking about me that deeply, and along with my surprise, guilt welled up inside me.

He was trying to shoulder together the responsibility I had intended to carry alone all along.

That kindness and resolve were more reassuring than anything.

I realized my own immaturity. How I hadn’t noticed that, had assumed things on my own, and charged ahead recklessly.

…And once again, the depth of Lord Oliver’s love for me seeped deep into my heart.

“I love you, Ash. Give me the right to protect you. I never want to go through something like this again.”

At the voice tinged with relief, the backs of my eyes grew hot.

That name I had called out in my heart so many times in that darkness.

Now that person was wanting me so directly, holding me so tightly.

Was it okay for me to respond to those feelings?

“Am I… really okay?”

The words that had been stuck in my chest slipped out smoothly.

Even though I’m just the illegitimate son of a fallen baronial family, covered in scars, having just barely reclaimed my territory.

“If it’s not Ash, it’s no good.”

I forgot even to breathe, simply ruminating on those words in my mind.

The depths of my chest grew warmly hot, and my heart leaped so hard it hurt.

Was it okay for me to convey these feelings too?

I want to. I want you to know how I feel.

I strongly felt in the depths of my heart that I didn’t want to run away anymore.

Just once, I took a breath to steady myself and lifted my face.

“I… want you too. Lord Oliver is the one I want.”

Finally, I said it.

“Ash!”

Lord Oliver’s eyes widened, and the next moment, a melting smile spread across his face.

“I love you, Ash.”

“Lord Oliver. I love you too.”

As if to confirm each other’s words, we gently pressed our lips together.

At first, it was just a light kiss, barely touching.

Then, growing sweeter, it slowly deepened.

“Mmm… huaa…”

“Ash… Ash…”

Every time our lips parted, he called my name.

Our hot breaths mingled, my heart leaped, and I found myself wanting more, and more.

Not wanting to part, this time I was the one who kissed him over and over again.

Wrapping my arms around his back, grabbing the hair at his nape with my fingertips, as if trying to reclaim that day when I chose to leave, again and again.

But the long kiss finally ended with Lord Oliver’s quiet restraint.

“…Why? I still want to.”

I wanted to feel more of Lord Oliver.

“Any more than this, and I won’t be able to hold back. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay if you don’t?”

I looked up at him from a distance where our breaths mingled.

The terror from that day still lingered somewhere in my body.

But right now, I was just happy with this person’s warmth.

I wanted him to overwrite everything with his own hands.

I gazed at him, imbuing that wish into my look.

Our eyes met at a distance where our breaths touched, and eventually Lord Oliver, catching his breath, quietly shook his head.

“No, we can’t. Ash, your body is in a very precarious state right now.”

I knew it myself.

The drugs had mostly worn off.

But the lethargy remained, and just sitting for a long time left me breathless.

My body, which hadn’t had a proper meal in a long time, had become unbelievably weak.

Lord Oliver, who had been nursing me at my side, knew that best of all.

“Then, when I’m better, I want you to do it properly.”

“Of course.”

At his straightforward answer, warmth spread through my chest.

Then I have to get better quickly, I thought, and suddenly motivation surged within me.

Now that I was the lord of Kreuz, I didn’t know how long I could afford to be this indulgent.

Before I lost this warmth, this connection, I wanted to confirm it.

If I were to hold someone, I absolutely didn’t want it to be anyone but this person.

…Even if it were to be the last time.

“Then I’ll show you how quickly I can get better. Please bring me some tonic.”

“Now, now. You’re on a drug-free period for a while.”

“…That’s disappointing.”

Lord Oliver gave a small laugh. Seeing that smile warmed my chest.

If only this peaceful time could last forever…

It was just as I thought that.

“Besides, I want to save that for our wedding night.”

“Wedding night?”

“Yes. I want to make you happy with all my might, as my partner. So marry me, Ash.”

The words I had always wanted were offered to me directly.

But I couldn’t nod right away.

“But, as a lord… I can’t abandon Kreuz.”

Because right now, I am the lord of the Kreuz territory.

“Fulfilling my responsibilities as the lord of Kreuz—that’s something only I can do.”

“I know. I don’t want to take that pride away from you.”

Lord Oliver was proposing to me knowing full well my determination and resolve.

Just by looking into his eyes, I understood that.

“I’ve submitted a proposal to the royal capital for a trial integration of the two territories.”

Even before I could process the meaning of his words, my chest grew hot.

He had seriously been considering such a future for us.

The thought made me so happy I forgot to breathe.

But it was a proposal I’d never heard of before.

“Is something like that even possible?”

“There’s no precedent, but I’ll make sure it gets approved.”

Lord Oliver nodded deeply.

In his gentle green eyes, there was certainty.

I wouldn’t have to give up either.

It settled firmly in my heart.

I could carry both—responsibility and love.

I could live with both.

The moment I felt relieved, drowsiness washed over me.

The arms holding me were warm, the gentle sound of his heartbeat enveloped my heart, and my eyelids closed on their own.

That gentle melody seemed to tell me that the future was truly there.

“Are you sleepy?”

“…”

I shook my head, not wanting to sleep, but I could tell Lord Oliver was smiling wryly.

The strength left the arms wrapped around my back, and I drifted off uncontrollably.

There were still many things I wanted to ask, but with relief flooding from the depths of my heart, the strength drained from my body.

“Rest, Ash. We’ll talk more when you wake up.”

“…Yes.”

Lured by a gentle kiss, I fell into sleep.

But it wasn’t the cold darkness I had experienced so many times before.

…It was like being guided into a soft, gentle light.

I wouldn’t hesitate anymore. Whatever the future held, as long as this person was by my side.

Holding onto that certainty, I quietly closed my eyes.