I Thought I Was Married, But I Was Left Alone, So I'll Live as I Please. So Please Don't Mind Me Anymore, My Lord of the Border - Chapter 22

Warning: Contains scenes of violence.

I’ve lost track of what day it is.

After repeatedly losing consciousness, even the distinction between days and hours has become blurred.

My arms bound. My eyes covered and blocked with cloth.

Each time my consciousness surfaces, a cloth soaked in chemicals is pressed against me, plunging me back into darkness.

I don’t even remember how many times this has been repeated. Each time, I recognize the distinctive musky scent of the nerve-paralyzing agent being used on me.

But I couldn’t offer even a single act of resistance. Before I could even think, my consciousness would be plunged back into darkness.

From the swaying vibrations and the sound of horses’ hooves walking, I understood I was being transported somewhere by carriage.

Without knowing how far we’d traveled, the swaying stopped, bringing about what felt like my umpteenth awakening.

Even before opening my eyes, a nostalgic scent reached my nose.

The smell of medicinal herbs, chemicals, and accumulated dust.

With the blindfold removed, my vision slowly came into focus.

A familiar ceiling, walls, a remembered table.

This was the compounding room where I’d been confined after my uncles arrived.

Four years’ worth of dust had accumulated on the shelves and floor, and the room that should have retained traces of when I lived here with my parents had completely lost its color.

I intended to return on my own feet, but being brought back like this is a disgrace.

And being in Kreuz means at least a week has passed since I was abducted.

My hands and feet are tied to a chair, unable to move even slightly.

I can’t muster strength throughout my body.

Though my mind is clear, my body feels like it doesn’t belong to me.

The compression bag I should have had is gone too.

It contained so many weapons and medicines – seems it’s been confiscated.

It was locked and can’t be activated by anyone but me, so even if they forced it open, they couldn’t access the contents.

It contained many dangerous items too, so I’m glad I set that safety lock.

Better safe than sorry.

As I was thinking this, an unpleasant voice reached my ears.

“Finally awake? Start making the medicine now.”

I knew who it was without introduction.

“…Uncle.”

The moment I spoke, a sharp slap rang out, pain shooting through my cheek as my vision swam.

“‘Lord’ to you.”

The heat in my cheek cleared my head, and anger welled up.

I glared at my uncle and smiled defiantly.

“Acting lord, you mean?”

“…Getting cocky, are you? What do you think you can do in that pathetic state?”

He snorted through his nose – the same despicable face I remembered.

No, he’d apparently been living luxuriously, as he’d grown considerably fatter than before.

When he first came here, he seemed so large and terrifying, but now I could just scoff at him.

I even felt anger that we’d let such a petty man do as he pleased with our territory.

“You only have the courage to face me because I’m in this pathetic state.”

“You…!”

My uncle’s face twisted with rage.

His fist came down.

This time the pain wasn’t so bad. Instead, his ragged breathing struck my ears.

Why is the one who hit me more out of breath than I am?

Out of shape. How many layers is that belly?

I cursed him in my mind.

“I was just a child back then, so I had no choice but to obey obediently. But now that I’ve returned, you’re no longer needed.”

“Shut up! Canceling your engagement on your own – you’re useless. Good for nothing who can’t even be a cash cow.”

Good.

I managed to let go before that person could be exploited.

Thinking that, even this pain feels somewhat proud.

“I don’t need to hear that from the ‘incompetent’ acting lord who ruined the territory’s reputation, Uncle.”

I threw back the words he’d showered me with back then.

“You…! It’s because you kept making medicines like an idiot over there that we couldn’t make any profit! You trash!”

This time his fist sank into my stomach.

Being tied up and unable to escape, the impact penetrated deep into my organs.

But why would I let him see me suffer?

I bit my lip, suppressing any sound, and laughed.

“Hah, serves you right.”

“You bastard!!”

He grabbed my hair roughly.

“I even sent you letters, but you ignored them! Wasted money and effort!”

I never received a single one in four years.

“…Letters? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb!”

Even as he shouted, I didn’t understand what he meant.

He released my hair as if frustrated.

“Just make the medicine.”

“Planning to sell the medicines I make for profit this time?”

“Your medicines are first-rate, right? If we dilute them and sell in quantity, we’ll make money.”

…This man really is trash.

“…So, it was true what they said about Father forbidding you from selling medicines.”

“Brat!”

Must have hit a nerve. My uncle’s eyes visibly narrowed. Those dull, muddy eyes reflected nothing but money.

The story my father once told me in a quiet voice about his own brother crossed my mind.

The Kreuz family had been alchemists for generations, taking pride in making medicines to save people.

But his brother lacked that spirit, Father had said just once with a bitter expression.

“You don’t see medicine as a tool to help people, only as a tool to make money. You’re unfit to be Lord of Kreuz.”

“…What did you say?”

“You’re beyond saving. So, the story about Grandfather disowning you was true too.”

“Damn, damn! He told you even that?”

“If you’d just stayed quietly in the villa at the edge of the territory, you could have lived comfortably without worrying about food until you died.”

Even though he was disowned, his family register remained unchanged – he only lost inheritance rights.

But that’s exactly why he’s acting as proxy now.

“You’re truly a greedy person.”

“Silence!”

Unable to hide his irritation, my uncle kicked me in the side.

But he must have misjudged, because he kicked the chair leg instead, letting out a strange sound as he staggered.

“Ow! You damn brat!”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Talking like this makes it clear.

This man has no conviction, no dignity – nothing at all.

“You are unworthy of the Kreuz family.”

When I told him this while looking straight into his eyes, he slapped my cheek again.

The taste of iron spread through my mouth.

“…Really, just like your father. So unlikable.”

Behind his spit-out words, I could see the faintest hint of jealousy.

Even that, he probably doesn’t want to acknowledge himself.

He’s projecting onto me the words he should have directed at my father.

Covered in inferiority complex, he’s even pitiful.

“Those eyes – they’re just like his!”

He punched my stomach, sending dull pain through me.

If only I could use body enhancement properly, I could handle a man like this easily, but I can’t even move a finger.

No matter how much magical power I circulate, my muscles won’t respond, as if they belong to someone else.

This dull sensation – it’s a muscle relaxant.

The fact that I can still speak means they adjusted it from the start intending to keep me in this state.

Damn, I regret not learning status-removal magic just because I had medicines.

It’s maddening that only my mind remains unnaturally sharp.

“Well, fine. I expected you wouldn’t be obedient anyway.”

When my uncle raised his hand, another presence approached from behind him.

Sunken eyes, rough skin, messy hair.

But the chemical smell emanating from his robe was thick and irritating.

The kind of alchemist I hate most – those who use alchemy for personal gain.

This must be the one who compounded the muscle relaxant.

“Hehehe, Master. Rest assured. Your lovely doll is ready.”

In his hand was a syringe of familiar shape.

Seeing the fluorescent orange liquid sloshing inside sent a chill down my spine.

Just looking at it made the blood drain from my face.

“Brainwashing drug.”

“Oh? To recognize it at a glance – impressive.”

The alchemist smiled, twisting the corner of his mouth.

Cold sweat ran down my body.

“Stop…!”

I can speak.

But my body won’t move. I can’t even turn my head away.

“Now, let’s make you comfortable.”

The needle pierced my skin. With that sensation as the last, sound vanished from the world.

Only my heartbeat raged deep in my ears.

“Agh… a, guh… ah…”

With my next breath, the cold liquid spread through my veins as if flowing backward.

A headache like church bells ringing chaotically inside my skull.

My vision distorted.

“Make medicine… make medicine…”

My uncle’s voice echoed inside my cranium.

I couldn’t tell if it was entering through my ears or being poured directly into my brain.

“Make medicine. Ash.”

A clearer voice was hammered directly into my brain.

“Gah… no, I won’t…!”

The moment I spoke those words, lightning-like pain raced through my entire body.

An inescapable searing heat, as if a branding iron had been pressed into the marrow of my bones.

“Hmph, stubborn. Suffer like that for a while.”

“Hehehe. As long as you refuse, that pain will continue forever.”

“AAAAAAAHHHH…!!”

I don’t even know if I’m screaming.

It hurts. I can’t breathe properly.

–If I make the medicine, I’ll be comfortable.

Before I knew it, even the distinction between my own voice and my uncle’s became blurred.

No.

Medicine is meant to help people.

Not to squeeze money from others, nor to trample people down.

I know. I know, but–

My head feels like it’s splitting.

The nausea won’t stop.

The edges of my vision flicker, darkening.

…Someone.

I couldn’t say “help me.” But–

Wanting to call a name, one face came to mind first.

Sun-like golden hair.

Beautiful eyes the color of medicinal herb fields.

“Lord Oliver…”

When I spoke the name, the sensation of our last kiss vividly returned.

The sweetness of his lips against mine, and the overwhelming loneliness that washed over me immediately after.

I want to see him.

I want him to call my name one more time.

Even that small wish was swallowed by the vortex of pain.

Somewhere, far away, I thought I heard someone calling my name.

Responding to it, I called his name again, and the lingering heat on my lips eased the pain just a little.

Holding onto that sensation, I was swallowed by darkness.