I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 99

The scale of the expedition was larger than ever before. At the forefront of the procession was the Duke, clad in black armor and astride a magnificent warhorse. Flanking him were enormous banners, like wings, bearing the emblem of Iser. The sight stirred both the anxiety of impending war and an unexplainable pounding in my chest.

At the signal of the resounding horn, the army began to move. The earth seemed to tremble beneath the thundering hooves of the horses. Dressed in the ceremonial uniform of the Duchess, I followed the Duke a step behind in the leading column. Soon, the procession arrived at the castle gates. The march halted momentarily, and I slowly approached the Duke on horseback.

The Duke removed his helmet. His face, more expressionless and rigid than usual, betrayed nothing. In a low voice, he asked:

“Are you worried?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll be back soon.”

His voice softened further as he spoke. I resisted the urge to smile and instead lifted his armored hand to press a kiss to its back. The cold touch of the armor felt unfamiliar.

“I’ll await your safe return, Your Grace.”

“I entrust the castle to you, Duchess.”

As his wife and his vassal, I bowed my head. When I looked up, our eyes met. For a brief moment, he smiled faintly, glanced around, and then, with his armored hand, cupped the back of my head. He pulled me forward, and his lips met mine.

The knights, who had been holding their breath in silence, raised their visors and cheered.

The tension that had lingered thick in the air seemed to ease slightly. It was likely his intention. But…

“Forgive me for indulging myself.”

“I was waiting for it.”

It wasn’t just to ease the knights’ nerves.

Still feeling the warmth of his kiss, I bowed my head again and withdrew from the procession, climbing up to the battlements of the castle gate. From that vantage point, I could see the countless citizens of the territory who had gathered to watch the departure. They held flowers, coins, and paper petals in their hands.

As I stood on the battlements, a wave of cheers erupted. I raised my hand lightly to quiet the crowd and turned to the soldier by my side.

“Open the gates.”

The massive iron gates began to open slowly. As the procession became visible, the cheers grew even louder. This time, I didn’t stop them. The rhythmic pounding of the drums and the horses’ hooves reverberated through the ground. Petals rained down like a shower of flowers over the procession.

I kept my eyes fixed on the Duke at the front. The straight avenue that stretched from the castle gate allowed me to see him for a long time. From the elevated position of the battlements, it took a considerable time before he disappeared from view entirely.

I remained on the battlements, watching the citizens disperse, their excited murmurs filling the air as they returned to their homes. Only when the crowd thinned did I descend the stairs. Each step felt heavier than the last. From this moment on, I was the official defender of Iser Castle.

As I descended, I mentally reviewed the tasks ahead. Soldiers had already been deployed and positioned throughout the territory to assist with evacuating residents. The goal was to stop the enemy as far out as the outer walls marking the region’s border—or, failing that, to hold them at the city’s inner walls.

Beyond the knights and soldiers sent on the expedition, Iser boasted formidable military strength. Securing both the outer and inner walls would prevent the capital’s citizens from being drawn into the war.

The current generation of Iser’s citizens had never experienced war. Since the time of the previous Duke, defenses against monsters had been so thorough that no creature had ever breached the border. However, that meant they were likely untrained for sudden battles. If the inner walls were compromised, all citizens would be brought into the castle. Ample food supplies and secure supply lines had already been prepared to endure a prolonged siege.

Although the Duke promised a quick return, no one could predict the future. The weight of my responsibility was heavy. As I stepped off the last stair, the gates closed behind me with a resounding thud. I turned and stared at the closed gates for a long while before stroking my horse, Shasa, and mounting it.

I crossed the garden at a leisurely pace, surveying the ongoing preparations. Workers were cutting down trees near the castle to build temporary shelters.

The newly constructed ovens could bake bread for hundreds at a time. If the pace were pushed, production could likely double. Whether or not the citizens entered the castle, the castle would be responsible for providing food. With the exception of Rubes, no other trading company would come to Iser in the near future, so securing provisions was the top priority.

I wondered if there was anything I had missed. Deep in thought, I headed to the study, where Reia was calmly waiting and working. Officially, Reia was considered missing, so he hadn’t joined in the farewell.

From Seles had come the expected letter of protest, accompanied by threats to press charges. I responded with a carefully worded reply: “It is you who should return Reia. We are aware of the mistreatment he has suffered in your household. If you fail to locate him by the specified date, the consequences will not be favorable.”

No response came, nor any further letters accusing Iser.

“Did the farewell go well?” Reia asked.

“Yes…”

Reia looked up at me, observing quietly before speaking.

“Shall we have tea before we begin?”

I found it odd—wasn’t it too early for tea? While I looked at him in puzzlement, he had already called for Boen to prepare it. In no time, Boen and the servants had set the table with desserts, simple snacks, tea, and drinks. It was only then I remembered I hadn’t eaten breakfast.

I needed to eat. To endure, I had to conserve my strength. With that thought in mind, I sat at the table and picked up a small piece of bread to eat.

“Your Highness,” Reia called.

“Yes?”

“Has there been… any other news from Seles?”

His tone held an unusual hint of worry. He must have been imagining the chaos in Seles, especially the Baroness, throwing fits over his disappearance. I had already shown him the letters we received from Seles and the responses we sent.

“Nothing since. They probably feel too guilty about their actions to say anything.”

“Last time…”

For once, Reia hesitated, clearly struggling to speak. I quietly waited for him to continue.

“Last time, when I brought up your family… I want to apologize. I’m sorry.”

“…”

He was referring to the time he mocked me for being loved by my family. The bread in my throat suddenly felt stuck. I had to wash it down with some tea before turning to Reia.

“Why… so suddenly?”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. It wasn’t the right thing to say, but it was too late to take them back. I barely resisted the urge to slap myself. Reia, however, just gave a bitter smile.

“I regretted it the moment I said it, but… well, you know how I am.”

“No, Reia… You had every right to be angry with me.”

“As I told you back then, Your Highness, it’s not your fault that you keep dying. I was taking it out on you for no reason. I really am sorry.”

“Please stop apologizing.”

Hearing Reia apologize made me feel like I was sitting on pins and needles. Of all of us, he was probably the one who had suffered the most. If anything, I felt an overwhelming debt to him. The Duke likely felt the same.

“Why don’t we talk about the past instead?” Reia suggested suddenly, pouring more tea into my cup. It was as if he was trying to lighten the mood. Stories from the past… no doubt he meant family stories.

For as long as I could remember, I had told myself that my family loved me. But strong denial is a form of affirmation, and strong affirmation is often denial. My brothers at least treated me like the cute kid from next door. My parents, however, loathed me—utterly and completely. I had repeated the lie of their love to myself so many times that it felt like self-brainwashing.

“What about you, Reia?” I asked.

“Me? I was just… raised like a servant. Being illegitimate, they couldn’t put me to hard labor, but they didn’t exactly treat me as a noble son, either. And, of course, there were plenty who tormented me for being a Lamia. But honestly, I’d rather hear your story, Your Highness.”

“Hmm…”

I took a few sips of the tea Reia had poured, moistening my throat. I had never spoken in detail about my family to anyone, not even the Duke. It was hard to decide where to begin with words I had never said aloud before.

“My parents… hate Lamias.”

“Many people do.”

“And they hate me for being one.”

“…”

“I was raised being constantly told what a Lamia should and shouldn’t be. I wasn’t allowed to do anything that might build muscle. At times, even my meals were restricted.”

“That’s abuse, isn’t it?”

Reia frowned deeply as he spoke. Abuse… it was true. What my parents did to me was abuse.

“Was it different in your household?” I asked.

“Not to that extent. The Baroness wasn’t quite that extreme.”

We continued to talk, emptying the teapot as we shared our stories. Stories of our pasts, of the things we had endured. Reia listened to the details of my family with an incredulous look, at one point exclaiming that my household sounded like it belonged fifty years in the past. His reaction was so unfamiliar—it was the first time I had seen Reia so openly angry—that I found it both strange and amusing.

It was also the first time I had such a long conversation with another Lamia. In a way, just talking seemed to broaden my world. Was my parents’ prejudice against Lamias particularly strong? No, they had likely been deliberate. They wanted to leave me confused, powerless, stripped of any sense of identity.

Oddly, I felt a sense of relief as though a weight had been lifted from my chest.

As I toyed with a piece of pastry, I looked over at Reia. There was something I needed to ask of him—something I couldn’t say in front of anyone else. He seemed to notice my gaze and raised his head.

“Reia, later could you.”

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