I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 79

The Countess cautiously opened the carriage door with her sword drawn. The metallic scent of blood that had been faintly noticeable within the carriage suddenly hit me like a wave. It was as if the entire area had been drenched in blood. Stepping outside, I realized my fears weren’t far from the truth.

The scene around the carriage was horrific, bodies and blood were scattered everywhere. It was the most gruesome sight I’d ever witnessed. I had never seen so many dead bodies before, nor so much blood. Unconsciously, I covered my mouth with my hand, and the Countess moved to shield me.

“Are you all right, Your Majesty?”

“I-I’m fine.”

I wanted to apologize, but the nausea rising in my throat made it impossible. At least I hadn’t vomited—that was a small relief.

I slowly scanned the area. Four knights from the duchy, including the driver, had fought off the ambush. Judging by the sheer number of attackers, there must have been at least thirty—dressed in black, their identities unknown. The blood spilling from their bodies stained the forest floor like a small river. Among this carnage, something—or rather, someone—was missing.

“…Riseon.”

Riseon was nowhere to be seen. Panicked, I looked around but couldn’t spot him, not even among the fallen. The Countess must have noticed this as well. She began moving carefully among the corpses, searching for any sign of him. Near the edge of the forest, beside a fallen body, she paused.

It wasn’t Riseon she had found.

It was his sword, the one he had used since he first became a knight.

The Countess knelt beside the weapon, placing her hand on the hilt. A faint blue light emanated from her palm as she concentrated. After a moment, she stood and hurried back toward me.

“It seems Sir Riseon lured the remaining attackers away by making them believe you were somewhere else.”

“The remaining attackers? There were more than this?”

“Yes, a few more…”

“Then what about Riseon? He left his sword behind.”

I followed her gaze to where the trail of blood stretched deep into the forest. Without his weapon, where could Riseon have gone? Was he even safe? A wave of anxiety tightened around my chest, but there was no time to stand idle.

“We can’t be sure when more attackers might arrive, Your Majesty.”

…It was possible that those who had chased Riseon would return. Or perhaps entirely new attackers might appear. My heart pounded in fear, but I couldn’t allow myself to freeze. I nodded firmly. Fortunately, two of the horses had survived, though they were visibly distressed.

The Countess and I worked quickly to disconnect the surviving horses from the carriage, securing emergency saddles. The animals were agitated but could still be calmed enough to run. The Countess even cast a healing spell to help.

“It works on horses too?”

“Any living being with emotions can respond to it. Let’s move.”

I tried to steady my nerves with small talk, but it was futile. Suppressing the urge to scream and cry, I tapped my horse’s flank with my heel. The horse immediately kicked off, splashing through the blood-soaked mud. The sound of hooves squelching through wet earth echoed behind us, accompanied by the splatter of crimson dirt. Even after we had left the scene, the bloody tracks followed us for some distance.

* * *

We arrived in the capital the following morning. The Countess and I had ridden through the night without stopping, and the exhaustion left my body trembling uncontrollably. My eyes felt as if they would fall out of their sockets, but I couldn’t sleep—my heightened state of awareness refused to let me.

The Countess arranged for a room at an inn on the outskirts of the city and practically carried me inside. Once there, she spent a long time channeling mental healing magic into me.

Though magic of the mind rarely worked well on me, her persistence seemed to have some effect. My thoughts slowly began to clear, and I realized how taxing the process must have been for her. After what felt like an eternity, she finally released my hands and asked,

“Are you feeling better, Your Majesty?”

“…Yes, I am.”

I meant it. I genuinely felt much lighter. When I thanked her, she offered a reassuring smile.

“You have my gratitude,” I added.

“I’ve prepared hot water for you in the bath. Should I summon a servant?”

“No… Yes, please.”

I started to refuse, but then changed my mind. I didn’t want to be alone—not even for a moment. The Countess nodded, pulling the bell rope by the bed. A servant arrived promptly, knocking at the door. The Countess checked them briefly before allowing them inside.

“Washing up will help you feel more refreshed,” she said.

I nodded and followed the servant to the bathroom. The hot water, fragrant with pleasant scents, soothed my nerves as I soaked for a long time. The servant even dried my hair for me afterward, bowing with a polite smile when I handed them a tip.

“Bring up a meal,” I instructed. “And have another servant assist you in serving it. Prepare enough for two if my companion wishes to join.”

“Yes, my lady.”

It was simply because I didn’t want to be alone. Despite the Countess’s efforts to calm me, the horrific scene from before replayed in my mind—the corpses, the blood, and Riseon’s sword lying abandoned in the dirt. Where had he gone? Was he even alive? The time I spent waiting for the meal felt excruciatingly long.

Eventually, there was a knock at the door. The servant returned with the food. The spread was generous, with enough for two people, just as I had requested.

“And my companion?”

“She’ll be here shortly.”

The servant busied themselves preparing the table, slicing the meat and vegetables into smaller portions, and pouring steaming stew into bowls. They filled three cups with hot tea, wine, and water. Despite not having eaten for nearly two days, I found myself with no appetite.

“Sir.”

A voice called from outside. It was the Countess. Realizing she meant me, I invited her in. She entered, now wearing clean and tidy clothes.

“You may leave us,” she told the servant.

The servant, now smiling broadly after receiving a tip from the Countess, left the room. The dishes, beautifully arranged on the plates, still looked like wax replicas to me—lifeless and unappetizing.

“Please try to eat something, Your Majesty. You’ll need your strength.”

“….”

He was right. I lifted a spoonful of the clear stew from the bowl and forced it into my mouth. It tasted like nothing, but I swallowed it out of a sense of obligation.

“The carriage and suitable attire are ready.”

I barely managed to chew and swallow half the stew before nodding. I couldn’t arrive at the imperial palace in my current state. Although there was no need to dress to suit the Emperor’s tastes, as I was going to testify against him, I at least needed to wear formal attire to maintain appearances.

“No one will think it strange if you say there was an accident with the carriage… except, of course, the one who sent the attackers.”

“Who could it have been?”

Was it Airdren? The Emperor? Or perhaps both?

“The Duke’s knights are trained to take on a hundred men each, yet this was the result. It speaks to the strength of the attackers. How skilled are Airdren’s knights in combat?”

“They’re not particularly exceptional.”

The knights of a family sidelined from central power could hardly be expected to excel. If they were too strong, they would attract unwanted attention from the Emperor. Riseon was Airdren’s best knight, his skills comparable to Iser knights. The others, however, were unremarkable.

After explaining this, the Countess lowered her gaze.

“Then it must be the Emperor’s doing—or perhaps he lent Airdren his men.”

The alliance between the Emperor and Airdren seemed stronger than I’d thought.

“We didn’t stop at our first lodging as planned, so the Duke must have already realized something’s happened. Let’s contact him first.”

“Contact him?”

The Countess pulled a small crystal orb from her cloak. It was a communication crystal. It must have been quite heavy to carry while riding, a thought that briefly distracted me. She placed the orb on the table and ran her hand over its surface. A faint figure appeared within moments.

It was the Duke. Seeing him almost made me burst into tears.

“If you’d been any later, I would’ve stormed the imperial palace.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Yuraine… Countess. Are you safe?”

His voice was urgent. How worried must he have been? I resisted the urge to reach out and touch the crystal. The Countess, calm as ever, answered.

“We were ambushed not long after leaving Iser.”

“I see. I found the aftermath of the attack during the search. I assumed you’d managed to escape and waited… Countess, your skill at concealing your trail is truly impressive.”

“Impressive enough that even you couldn’t find us? I suppose I should take pride in that.”

The Countess spoke in a flat tone, her words a rare attempt at humor. Though her expression remained serious, it struck me that she and the Duke shared a similar temperament. The thought of her concealing our tracks while also managing the horses and ensuring our escape made me view her in a new light.

“Yuraine.”

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

“You look pale.”

“I’m fine.”

To be told I looked pale at a time like this… anyone watching might dismiss me as useless. I needed to be stronger, more capable. A sudden wave of inadequacy surged within me.

“Your Majesty, during the search… did you find any sign of Riseon?”

“Not yet.”

“….”

My face fell. The Countess, noticing, placed a reassuring hand over mine. What could have happened to Riseon? Could he really be…

“Don’t worry. I’ll find him.”

“Please… No, I’m sorry. Please find him, Your Majesty. I’ll be waiting.”

I had almost said, Even if it’s just his body, but stopped myself. If I spoke it aloud, it might come true. Riseon had left his sword behind and vanished, leaving a trail of blood. What were the chances he was still alive? Despite my doubts, I wanted to believe he was okay—at least until we found him.

“I promise. I swear I’ll bring Riseon back to the duchy before you return.”

“Your Majesty…”

This time, tears threatened to spill. The Duke’s gaze through the crystal was so steadfast and sincere that I felt I could believe anything he promised. My heart raced—not out of fear, but from something else entirely.

“…I love you, Your Majesty.”

The Duke’s eyes widened in surprise within the crystal.

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