I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 70

Tears welled up in my eyes. His voice was warm and tender, as if trying to comfort me. It carried a hint of concern. The familiar sound of his heartbeat, his body heat, his scent, his strong arms, and the large frame that enveloped me completely from behind, all of it was overwhelming.

“…Your Highness.”

“Even now, it’s still ‘Your Highness’?”

“Isis…”

When I called his name, the duke lowered his head and pressed his lips against my temple. I squirmed in his embrace, turning to face him. My body, clad only in a robe over my indoor clothes after escaping through the forest, was cold. But as his warmth seeped into me, the chill faded, though I still trembled.

Facing him, I slid my arms under his cloak and hugged him tightly. He trailed kisses from my temple to my cheek, then my nose, and finally my lips. A deep kiss followed.

The wet sound of it seemed to echo in the quiet storage room. There wasn’t even time to feel embarrassed. The kiss gradually warmed my body, like being swept away by hot water. After what felt like an eternity, my trembling ceased completely. I looked up at the duke, my body suffused with a faint warmth.

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”

“Even so…”

Before I could finish, he silenced me with another kiss. As we kissed, his bare hands, now free of gloves, roamed over me through the thin fabric of my indoor clothes. Following his lead, my body slid lower until I found myself pressed against the storage room wall, perched on his lap.

My tunic, which had reached my ankles, was now pushed up to my thighs. The cold air brushed against my exposed skin, and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his body. His hands, still warmer than mine, raised my temperature wherever they touched.

My entire body felt warm.

“Sorry… this place is safe for now, but I just can’t…”

I blinked at him. His face looked so desperate and urgent that I couldn’t refuse him—nor did I want to. The waves of emotion grew rougher, and it felt as though we had moved to a place even hotter. Every sound echoed in the storage room, so I bit my lip. He gently covered my lips with his once more.

“Mm… Your Highness… Isis…”

“Eurain.”

We exchanged names softly, and in the heat of the moment, our bodies swayed together. With my arms and legs, I clung to him even tighter. We became one, and the heat surged higher. I was no longer cold.

As we caught our breath, before the sweat had even dried, the duke took off his cloak and draped it over me. The cloak, tailored to his large frame, wrapped around me like a blanket. He tucked the soiled cloth deep into his chest pocket.

“If we wait here, Lyol will come to get us.”

“Yes…”

“Do you know what’s going on?”

“I have a general idea, but not the details.”

The duke nodded.

“I’ll need to explain your family’s plan first.”

“Their plan?”

The brainwashing I had undergone seemed to focus on unconditional obedience to anyone and love for the emperor. Those thoughts had filled my mind completely. It seemed they had erased part of my sense of self and suppressed my memories of the duke and Iser, making them seem negative. At first, I could think of them, but those memories gradually faded—likely due to manipulation.

After I explained as much, the duke added his own insights.

“It seems the emperor intended to assassinate me.”

“….”

Knowing how he planned to do it, my gaze dropped to the ground.

“The emperor probably promised to make you empress. Of course, he had no intention of keeping that promise, and your family likely didn’t believe him either.”

“At best, I’d have been a concubine…”

“…Exactly.”

The emperor had previously taken me to the palace where the Lamia concubines resided. I thought it was just mockery, but it must have been a foreshadowing.

There was no way the emperor would make me empress or elevate my father, Count Airden, to the status of imperial in-law. Many dukes and marquises with Lamia bloodlines were more favorable to the emperor. Bringing back the Airden family, which had been ousted from central power generations ago, was unthinkable—unless the emperor had lost his mind.

“If I died, you’d inherit the duchy. But you could refuse the position or entrust the regency to your direct family.”

“So… they wanted to install Rivien as the duke?”

It was a plausible scheme. My family must have known I couldn’t become empress. Their true goal must have been for Rivien to inherit the duchy of Iser.

“Why did they lock me up, then? They told me I’d be released once everything was over.”

“There was a carriage accident. Did the emperor tell you about it? I imagine he did, to unsettle you and make the brainwashing easier.”

“Yes, he told me. Oh, now that I think about it… were you injured?”

Startled, I touched him as I asked. The duke looked perfectly fine, something I hadn’t even thought to question. He laughed softly, showing his arms to reassure me.

“As you can see, I’m fine.”

“Oh… That’s a relief.”

“The carriage accident was serious. It’s a miracle no one died. They likely planned to injure me enough to keep me bedridden in Iser, but that didn’t go as they’d hoped.”

Even without asking, I could guess what kind of accident it was—a plot by the emperor. But…

“Did you travel by carriage?”

Now that I thought about it, it was strange that the duke had been in a carriage. He typically preferred horses, and given the urgency, it seemed odd.

“No, I was riding a horse most of the way. But we were ambushed.”

“….”

I was stunned. He had been ambushed while riding his horse, and then the carriage had crashed—all within such a short time. It was a stark reminder of the emperor’s relentless tenacity.

“They likely kept attacking, hoping I’d eventually collapse. Then, they’d carry me to the duchy. That’s when they planned to release you from captivity.”

I was at a loss for words. Once the duke was incapacitated, they would send me to him. And then… I would feed him my blood. The poison in my blood would go undetected unless an autopsy was performed. They would conclude that the duke’s wounds had worsened, leading to his death. And with the emperor’s decree forbidding autopsies on royal bodies, there would be no evidence to prove I had been the one to kill him.

To make matters worse, the fact that the duke and I had been on good terms would shield me from suspicion. It was precisely the vulnerability the duke had feared during my first life.

The emperor’s mistake was erasing the duke so thoroughly from my memory. It worked in our favor. He must have thought it would make me easier to control… but if he hadn’t done that, if I had retained my memories of the duke, I might have revealed the truth.

That my blood didn’t work on the duke.

If I had told him that, the emperor would have come up with another plan. We were incredibly lucky.

When I explained this, the duke suddenly broke into a smile, as though he’d just heard something delightful.

“Why are you smiling?” I asked.

“Because I’m happy.”

“In this situation, what could you possibly be happy about…?”

“Didn’t you just say it yourself?”

“Say what?”

The duke, still smiling, leaned close and murmured into my ear, “That you truly love me.”

“…!”

Now that I thought about it… that was exactly what I’d said. My face burned with embarrassment. Instinctively, I tried to push away from his chest, but I quickly realized there was no need for that. After living through six lives, I had come to love him deeply. And he, in turn, likely felt the same for me. There was no reason to avoid it, no reason to retreat, no reason to be ashamed.

“If you knew what the emperor intended to do to you, you’d faint.”

“I can guess… more or less.”

“I’m sure it’s worse than what you’re imagining.”

“And yet, Your Grace nearly… lost your life because of me.”

The duke kissed my forehead.

“It couldn’t be helped.”

I looked up at him. His voice was not joking when he said, It couldn’t be helped. That was when it hit me—this man had lived through six lives, just as I had. His memories of those lives were as vivid as mine. For both of us, it felt like we had experienced everything firsthand. But unlike me, there was one piece missing from his memory.

The moment time had rewound.

I had no recollection of the moment everything reset, of when we first returned to the beginning. I didn’t remember when this endless cycle began. Of course, I always remembered the first life clearly, but that was just one life.

“…It can be helped,” I said, reaching out to cup his face in my hands.

“Turning back time isn’t the solution. The memories stay with you.”

If things went wrong again, he would have turned back time, threatening Leia or doing whatever it took. But what about all the memories piling up with each failure? What about the pain Leia would endure, reliving her suffering again and again? And what about this man, who would watch me die countless times, bearing those memories over and over?

“This time, let’s see it through to the end. Let’s get it right.”

“…Alright.”

The duke placed his hand over mine, then lifted one of them to his lips, pressing a deep kiss to my palm.

“You’re right. After all… I’ve seen it. I’ve seen you smiling happily.”

“And… you were by my side, weren’t you?”

“You don’t have to worry about that. My visions only show what I’ll witness with my own eyes.”

“Ah…”

That was reassuring. I nodded and stroked his cheek gently. After a moment, the present situation suddenly came back to me.

“Your Grace, there’s still a servant left in the forest where I was.”

“A servant?”

“Yes, a maid named Miria. She helped me escape.”

“Just the maid, by herself?”

That question surprised me more than it should have. I’d assumed Liseon had been working with the duke.

“Wasn’t it Your Grace who sent Liseon?”

“No, it wasn’t. I had planned to use another method entirely—to guide you here myself.”

Then what about Miria? Was she only following Liseon’s orders?

Miria had taken my place in bed. At the time, I had been too dazed to fully comprehend it, but she must have planned to buy me time by pretending to be me until morning. Even if the male servant couldn’t pull back the blankets, what would happen when Rivien arrived?

“Your Grace, the servant who saved me might be in danger.”

If Rivien realized the person under the covers wasn’t me, he might kill her. Panicking, I fumbled for words, and the duke gently patted my back.

“Don’t worry. Who else is in that house?”

“Just the maid who helped me and one male servant.”

“Is that all?”

I nodded, and the duke brushed back my hair as he spoke quietly.

“That house is easy to escape from as long as they make it through the forest path. Most people get lost and die in the woods, though.”

“…”

“I’ll send someone to bring the maid back.”

“Who will you send?”

“A very fast animal.”

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