I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 52

“Young Master, please try this.”

“…I’m fine.”

The tray-holding Lis looked disheartened. I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat. Not even a small piece of fruit would go down; my body rejected everything.

I was currently in the Airdren family home. This was the result of my parents’ desperate pleas to the Emperor. The Baron of Ceres had vehemently demanded severe punishment for his son’s death, and I, the prime suspect, was initially sentenced to imprisonment in the imperial dungeons rather than house arrest, under the pretext that I might tamper with evidence.

But my parents and brothers had barely managed to secure leniency: house arrest at Airdren instead.

It was revealed that Millen Ail had died because of my blood. Moreover, the poison was originally intended for the tea Reya was supposed to drink. According to accusations, I had used my blood to eliminate Reya, a lamia whom the Grand Duke had suddenly brought to the estate and who I supposedly saw as a thorn in my side. The events closely mirrored those of my previous life.

The incident had occurred within the Grand Duke’s estate, meaning the Grand Duke was supposed to lead the investigation. However, the Emperor, acting swiftly on reports, had dispatched his own investigators, citing the Baron of Ceres’ concerns about ensuring impartiality due to the Grand Duke and me being married.

The Grand Duke had genuinely tried to defend me.

“Yuraine has no reason to do such a thing. Reya is merely a guest.”

“But there are testimonies that the two of you raised your voices over this matter on multiple occasions.”

I wondered who could have made such claims. It was likely a servant at the estate, whose identity would remain protected. That also made false testimony a possibility, but filtering such accounts was supposed to be the investigators’ responsibility. Yet, given they were imperial investigators, expecting fairness seemed naïve.

On top of that, rumors circulated that I had been fixated on Reya. It was obvious Erma was behind these allegations.

Even Reya testified in my defense, claiming I wouldn’t do such a thing. However, her words were dismissed on the grounds that she couldn’t know my true intentions. The fact that she had suggested the tea time herself wasn’t considered sufficient proof of my innocence. Instead, it was twisted into an argument that I had been waiting for the right opportunity.

In my past life, I thought I had been railroaded into execution because no one stood by me. But now I saw the truth. Even when favorable testimonies emerged, if the investigator was determined to frame me as a murderer, it all unraveled in an instant.

What lengths had Erma gone to this time?

According to Reya, Millen’s drunken behavior had been unusually erratic. He had always been reckless and had terrible habits when drunk, but for him to barge into a setting like that? It had been unlike him, as though he were under some kind of spell.

Was Erma somehow manipulating events, possibly in collusion with the Emperor? In my past life, people had pitied the Grand Duke for enduring three years with a disgraced Grand Duchess like me. But now, this incident tarnished even the Grand Duke’s reputation.

It was strange how quickly the Emperor had dispatched investigators. Had he not been satisfied with simply marrying me to the Grand Duke? Or had this been the intended outcome all along?

No, that seemed too far-fetched.

“Yuraine.”

A gentle knock sounded at the door, and it opened. It was Lebian.

“Brother…”

“Are you alright?”

I nodded slowly. I couldn’t bring myself to say no to my family. If the Grand Duke had asked, I might have admitted otherwise.

Lebian sighed as he entered and sat beside me.

“The situation doesn’t look good.”

“…”

“Even if you claim this was all your doing… our family has still broken a sacred vow.”

He was referring to the poison of Airdren’s blood. The guilt weighed heavily, and my face twisted with anguish.

“I’m sorry, Brother…”

“Yuraine.”

“…”

“You must stay focused during the trial. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Lis had left the tray and exited the room quietly. Lebian picked up a teacup from the tray and handed it to me. I sipped reluctantly, though I could barely taste it.

“Admit your guilt for now. We’ll aim for mitigation. You’re still young, so there’s hope.”

“…”

In my past life, Lebian had said the same thing. It had been useless then. Admitting guilt only solidified the case against me, even the use of my blood as poison. My family had been implicated and executed as a result.

“There’s been a warning.”

“A… warning?”

“They’ve told us that if we continue to defend you, the entire family won’t escape unscathed.”

“…”

“The crime exists. We need to redirect the blame as much as possible. Understand?”

“What do you mean by redirect?”

“Testify that Reya and the Grand Duke were having an affair. Say you were overwhelmed with rage. There are plenty of people in the Grand Duke’s estate who speak well of you. Emphasizing their misconduct could reduce your sentence.”

“…Okay.”

My reply was hollow, an automatic response. Blame the Grand Duke?

“My precious little sister.”

Lebian stroked my hair. I didn’t know how to react—guilt? Gratitude? The trial loomed ahead, and I didn’t know what to do. One wrong step and, like in my past life, my family could be sentenced to death.

Maybe blaming the Grand Duke would help my case. There were those in the estate who still viewed me favorably. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Not even for my family’s sake. I couldn’t make that choice.

“I believe in you, my sweet sister.”

Lebian hugged me briefly, then left the room.

Lis didn’t return. Neither did Fea.

“Young Master, is something wrong?”

“…I’m fine.”

Lis’s face fell as she held the tray, her disappointment evident. I felt guilty, but I just couldn’t bring myself to eat. Not even the smallest piece of fruit could make it past the knot in my throat.

I was currently confined to the Airdren family estate, thanks to my parents’ desperate appeals to the Emperor. The Baron of Ceres had demanded severe punishment for his son’s death, pushing for me, the prime suspect, to be held in the imperial dungeons rather than under house arrest. However, my family had successfully argued for my confinement within Airdren as a show of leniency.

Millen Ail had died from poison traced back to my blood. The tea, originally meant for Reya, had been laced with it. The accusation was that I, jealous and irrational, had used my blood to eliminate Reya, whom the Grand Duke had brought to the estate. Just like in my past life, the narrative was eerily familiar.

I considered all the possibilities. How could I resolve this? How could I protect my family? A thought crossed my mind—perhaps I could…

No, could I really? Could I just end it myself?

My family had no fault in this. I had been taught from a young age that the use of our blood was strictly forbidden. But when the moment arose, I had lost control. My jealousy had driven me to act on impulses I hadn’t understood at the time.

If I wrote a letter… left behind a confession… and ended it all, maybe that would close this chapter. With me gone, perhaps the matter could be resolved without implicating anyone else.

The thought gripped me. I shot up from my bed, moving quickly to my desk. Barefoot, I grabbed a piece of paper, ink, and a quill, determined to write the final words of my life.

But then—clink.

“…?”

Was that the wind?

The sound came again, faint but distinct. Something had tapped against the windowpane. I froze, turning toward the window as the soft clinking repeated itself.

Curiosity drew me to the window. Snow had started falling, and the wind howled through the night, making the glass rattle faintly. The chill seeped through the panes as I hesitated, unsure. Slowly, I pushed open the window.

A dark figure landed silently on the terrace railing.

A billowing black cloak swirled in the snowy wind. My breath caught in my throat as I stared, my lips parting in shock.

Before I could even gasp, the figure moved. He stepped silently inside and wrapped his arms around me.

The icy cold of the night clung to him, transferring to me as snowflakes settled on my skin. He reached back and shut the window, holding me in his embrace for a long moment without a word.

“…Your Majesty…”

It was only after some time that I managed to speak. How was he here, in Airdren, when he was supposed to be in Iserre?

Before I could ask, the Grand Duke cupped my head with his gloved hands and kissed me. His lips were cold. Always before, my lips had been icy while his were warm. But tonight, it was the opposite.

The cold clung to his clothing, hinting at how long he’d been in the winter night. Guilt prickled at me—I should’ve been able to keep him warm, to help him find comfort.

Our lips moved together, a clash of warmth and chill as my body instinctively leaned into his. The gloves he wore slipped off, one by one, hitting the floor with a muted thud. His bare hands were warmer than I expected—or perhaps my body had cooled enough to make his feel warmer by comparison.

His arms shifted, lifting me. He held me close, tucking me against him as though shielding me from the world. Despite the growing warmth between us, I felt a faint shiver run through me.

Noticing, he deepened the kiss, his hands trailing along my back as if to spread his warmth. My skin flushed, the warmth blooming into a fierce heat. I was acutely aware of his hands tracing my figure through the thin fabric of my nightgown.

At last, he pulled back.

I gasped softly for air, realizing with a start that I was cradled in his arms like a child. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and my face felt impossibly hot.

“Y-Your Majesty.”

My voice came out hoarse, no doubt from the soft sounds I had made during the kiss. The realization made my blush deepen.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes…”

I wasn’t, but I answered as if I was.

“How did you… why are you here?”

“I couldn’t stop worrying about you.”

The Grand Duke brushed my hair back, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. I became acutely aware of how my thin clothing clung to me as he held me so close. When I squirmed slightly, he gently set me down.

“I couldn’t sleep. I was too worried about you.”

“Your Majesty…”

“Are you hurt? Sick?”

I shook my head.

“No, I’m fine. I’m with my family, after all.”

“…And that’s what worries me.”

“What?”

I hadn’t caught his murmured words. When I asked, he didn’t repeat them. Instead, he bent to retrieve his gloves from the floor, holding them as he scanned the room.

“So this is where you’ve been staying.”

“Yes, it’s modest compared to the Grand Duke’s estate, isn’t it?”

“Yuraine.”

“Yes?”

Before I could process it, he kissed me again. He seemed as if he’d crossed the distance just for this—just to kiss me whenever our eyes met. Not that I minded; I didn’t feel like refusing him.

“Don’t worry,” he murmured, lips brushing against mine.

“…Alright.”

“I’ve seen it. I saw you happy.”

“…What?”

“I’ve seen you happy. So nothing will happen to you.”

I stared at him, his words washing over me like a promise and a plea all at once.

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