I Refuse This Life, Your Highness! - Chapter 2

Lis gently patted my shoulder, his touch calming, before heading to the tea table. He brewed a rich, aromatic cup of tea and brought it to me. As I sipped, my scattered thoughts began to settle, the haze in my mind clearing bit by bit.

“Come on now, it’s time to get up,” he said warmly.

After taking away my empty cup, Lis helped my sluggish body into light, comfortable clothes fit for wandering around the house.

Then, without warning, I jumped to my feet. Ignoring the silk slippers Lis had set out, I bolted out of the room barefoot.

“Ah! Master! Master!” Lis cried out, startled, as he hurried after me, slippers in hand.

Driven by an energy I couldn’t explain, I sprinted down the marble-floored corridor. The cool, smooth sensation of the marble against my bare feet was vivid and unmistakable. Every step, every detail of the ornate hall seemed to hammer in the same truth: this was Airdren.

The closest room to mine was my eldest brother’s. Without hesitation, I flung the door open without knocking.

Inside, my brother Revien sat, already dressed in formal attire, sipping tea. His expression shifted to one of confusion as he turned to me.

“Eurain? What’s the matter at this hour? You should be preparing yourself.”

Even as he scolded me, his voice was soft, his tone gentle. It had been three years since I’d seen this version of him—the calm, composed elder brother I remembered. The sheer normalcy of it struck me so deeply I felt tears threatening to rise.

I ran to him and threw my arms around him.

Revien froze briefly, caught off guard, but he quickly recovered. Placing his hand on my head, he stroked my hair in that familiar, soothing way.

“What’s this now? What’s troubling our youngest sibling so much today?”

The warmth of his touch—it was real. It was alive. It wasn’t the cold, lifeless touch of someone who had hung from a noose.

Revien began to speak again, but I stopped him, afraid. Afraid that his words might shatter this fragile reality, that he might say something to wake me from what had to be a dream. I pressed my palm gently against his lips, silencing him, and turned to leave.

Confused but concerned, Revien followed me to the door. I glanced back briefly before stepping out into the hallway once more.

I still hadn’t seen the rest of my family.

This time, I headed for my second brother, Liseon. His room was further down the hall. I stood before his door, hesitation gripping me. What if he wasn’t there?

But before I could knock, the door swung open from the inside.

“Eurain?”

Liseon stood there, looking down at me, his expression puzzled but familiar. He was dressed casually, clearly not ready for the day—a reflection of his usual free-spirited nature.

His relaxed demeanor felt so normal, so right, that I froze, unable to find the words to speak.

Liseon smiled warmly, his carefree charm as disarming as ever. Without hesitation, he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

“Bad dream?” he asked softly.

A dream…

A bad dream.

If someone asked me which side felt like the dream—the horror I had endured, or this peaceful, ordinary moment—I would choose the former without hesitation. Whether or not it was true didn’t matter. Between a nightmare and a tranquil dream, why wouldn’t I cling to the peace?

“It was all just a dream,” I told myself.

It hadn’t happened. None of it.

I nodded and replied, “Yes, it was a dream I never want to have again.”

Liseon chuckled. “What was it? Some terrifying demon chasing you?”

A demon…

Perhaps that was one way to describe it. Or perhaps… it was something far worse.

Liseon raised his hands and playfully mimicked a demon, growling dramatically as if to scare me. If only my dream had been about a demon—it would have been far less terrifying.

I gave him a faint, crooked smile, and he tilted his head in confusion.

“Honestly, why get so worked up over a dream? Eurain, you’re still such a kid…”

He reached out and ruffled my hair with his large, warm hand. The heat of his touch—the unmistakable warmth of life—was undeniable. I stood still, letting him tousle my hair, before stepping back.

“I’m going to see Mother and Father.”

“Hmm, good idea. You must still feel unsettled. Just don’t stay out too long, alright?”

I nodded and left the room, heading toward my parents’ chambers on the floor above. With my heart slightly steadier, I climbed the stairs and entered my mother’s room first, where I found both of them sitting together.

They were sipping tea, impeccably dressed, as always. When they saw me, they looked surprised, as though wondering why I was there at this hour instead of preparing for the day ahead.

My parents.

The vivid memory of their bodies swaying from the gallows was still burned into my mind.

But now, they were alive.

“Father… Mother…”

I approached them, wrapping my arms around each of them in turn, clinging to their warmth as if afraid it might vanish. Tears threatened to fall, but I held them back. This wasn’t a hallucination or a fleeting mirage—this was real. Their warmth, their presence, everything was real.

“What’s gotten into you?”

My mother’s cool, composed voice stirred something deep inside me.

Father, as ever, remained silent, not reacting outwardly to my sudden embrace. Their reserved and strict demeanor was familiar, but I had always known how deeply they cared for me.

Yet the relief surging through me shattered at my mother’s next words.

“You seemed fine before, but now that it’s the day of your wedding, the nerves must finally be catching up to you.”

“…”

What did she just say?

A wedding? Whose wedding?

“…Wedding?”

“Yes, of course,” she replied, her expression puzzled.

I stood frozen, unable to process what I was hearing. My reaction prompted Mother and Father to exchange a glance. Father raised his eyebrows slightly, while Mother furrowed hers in mild irritation.

“Stop dawdling and go get ready,” she said sharply. “Do you intend to keep His Grace the Grand Duke waiting?”

Father’s calm, steady voice followed, a tone that brooked no argument.

“What… What did you just say, Father?”

“Eurain,” he said, his voice firmer this time, heavy with meaning.

This time, it was my mother who called out to me.

“Stop playing games and go get ready.”

Her voice was sharp, as though she believed my frozen expression was some sort of childish prank. Of course, it wasn’t. Unable to form a response, I stiffly turned and walked back to my room, my mind spinning with confusion.

As soon as I opened the door, Lis rushed toward me, his worry evident.

“Master, you really need to start getting ready now!”

“Lis…”

“Yes?”

“What day is it today?”

Lis’s face lit up with a cheerful smile.

“Why, it’s your wedding day with His Grace, the Grand Duke of Isser!”

“…”

This couldn’t be real.

Only moments ago, I had convinced myself that everything I’d experienced was nothing but a vivid, terrible dream.

“Are you sure? …Me?”

“Of course! Look, your wedding attire is already prepared.”

Lis gestured toward a corner of the room, where the ceremonial outfit lay waiting. My gaze followed his hand, and the sight of it made my entire body freeze.

The lavish white silk ensemble, intricately embroidered with silver thread—it was the exact same attire I had worn at my wedding to the Grand Duke.

“…”

A wave of dread surged through me. Something was undeniably wrong.

My mind scrambled for an explanation, clinging to logic like a lifeline. Perhaps… perhaps I had imagined it all. The tension and anxiety leading up to the wedding must have triggered a long, harrowing dream. And the familiarity of the outfit? Just a trick of my overwrought mind.

But I needed to confirm it.

“Lis, what jewelry am I supposed to wear today?”

“I’ll show you! Let’s start with the necklace!”

Lis hurried over to a small table where a collection of jewels and silks was arranged. He carefully picked up a velvet box and held it out with both hands.

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to recall the necklace from that day—a platinum piece adorned with three large diamonds, surrounded by smaller translucent and shimmering stones. It had been a wedding gift from the Grand Duke himself.

The soft click of the box opening echoed in the room, and I opened my eyes.

“…”

My legs buckled as my vision swam.

“Master!” Lis cried out, rushing to steady me as I swayed on the spot.

I tore my gaze away from the necklace, refusing to look at it any longer. Forcing myself to speak, I managed to say:

“Lis, I’m sorry… but can I rest for a bit before we continue? Please?”

“Master…”

Lis hesitated, his concern obvious, but eventually nodded and stepped back. I must have looked pale enough to warrant his understanding—nerves before a wedding were something he could excuse.

As soon as he left, I collapsed onto the bed, clutching my stomach tightly.

“Ugh…”

A wave of nausea surged through me as I curled into a ball beneath the covers. My stomach churned violently, and I heaved dryly, my throat clenching against the rising bile. A dizzying fog clouded my senses, amplifying the sickness gnawing at me.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Even when I was nervous, I had never been the kind of person to lose control of my body. At most, my hands would sweat or I would feel a slight tremble.

But this—this was a reaction I had developed after becoming the Grand Duchess.

Before the wedding, I had been perfectly healthy. However, during my time at the Grand Duke’s estate, constant abuse had slowly withered my body, leaving me fragile and brittle, like a dried-up branch.

Now, I was collapsing under the weight of a future that hadn’t even happened yet.

What’s going on…?

What had happened? Why did the wedding attire and jewelry from my dream appear exactly as I remembered them? Why had my healthy body deteriorated into this fragile state?

Exhaustion drained every last ounce of energy from me. Even during my time as the Grand Duchess, there were days when I couldn’t get out of bed, overwhelmed by a suffocating sense of helplessness. That same powerlessness now consumed me completely.

The wedding attire, the jewelry…

Every detail, even the smallest embellishments on the sparkling pieces, was etched vividly in my mind.

I bit my lip, trying to process the situation. The moment of my death was still crystal clear, as was the instant I opened my eyes and found myself three years in the past. I knew exactly what was supposed to happen after this moment.

Then, one chilling thought surfaced in my mind.

Time magic.

Every noble house in the empire possesses a unique form of magic.

Some, like the Grand Duke’s family, have lost their magic over the years. Others, like mine, the Airdren family, choose not to use theirs for various reasons. But many houses still wield their magic.

And among them, there had to be one that possessed time magic.

Could it be that one of those families had used their time magic to reverse the past three years? If so, why? What did they gain from this? And why had I been brought back to this particular moment, the day of my wedding, just before my life fell apart?

It could be a coincidence. Maybe some noble reversed time for their own reasons, and I, caught up in a powerful moment of emotion, was swept along, remembering everything.

If that was true, then this wasn’t a dream I had woken up from. I had simply returned to three years ago, to relive everything as it was before.

I buried my face in my hands.

The three years I spent as the Grand Duchess had been nothing but torment. The Grand Duke had been indifferent to me, and the people of the estate, judging me for my origins and personality, had treated me with disdain and cruelty.

And then there was Erma.

What I suffered at his hands had stripped me of my strength and reduced me to a pathetic, helpless fool. The thought of him filled me with both rage and paralyzing fear, emotions that were impossible to ignore.

I spent those years in solitude, nursing a hopeless affection for the Grand Duke, chasing after his cold, disdainful gaze. It was a miserable existence that ended in a tragic conclusion. Now, I was being asked to face it all over again.

“…”

Slowly, I lifted my head.

My eyes fell on the olive-leaf patterned blanket. Revien had picked it out himself, believing it would bring good fortune to a new bride. It hadn’t brought me any luck the first time, of course.

In three years, I would lose my parents and brothers and face the guillotine once more. Until then, I would endure unimaginable pain.

…But why?

A sudden surge of clarity hit me. Why should I accept this fate?

I knew what would happen after the wedding, after I went to the Grand Duke’s estate. I remembered everything.

Even if Erma had tried to lock me away and reduce me to a fool, my memories were intact. I knew exactly what had happened in that estate.

Knowledge is power.

This wasn’t a time for despair. This was a rare opportunity—a chance to change everything, to rewrite my story and break free from the past.

I wouldn’t live the same life. I wouldn’t face the same tragic ending.

This time, everything would change.

And I would make sure it did.

Support