I Only Raised Men for Revenge - Chapter 28

Only she would give this kind of advice to the object of her revenge.

Who else would tell the object of their revenge to be smart? To pull themselves together? Usually, people would be happier the dumber their opponent was.

But Sesenia hated that.

‘My death should be because I fell into a trap set by a smart person. There’s no way some idiot could have killed me.’

If some idiot killed her, and she died unfairly because of it, she felt like she would be writhing in self-loathing.

Having said everything she wanted to say, Sesenia returned to her room without giving him even a glance. Whether he had an epiphany or felt a sense of urgency, Elzer didn’t show any particular reaction.

**

Several more days passed.

There were only two days left until the week when Hepria cotton and firewood were sold. Sesenia was more relaxed than ever, drinking tea and reading a book.

But an unexpected guest came to see her.

A knock, and then the door opened immediately. Sesenia’s expression hardened as she saw the door open without her saying to come in.

“Are you entering without the owner’s permission?”

It was Ian. Seeing him made Sesenia feel sick to her stomach.

“We weren’t the type to ask for permission before, were we? Sesenia. Aren’t you happy to see your friend after so long?”

She didn’t know it then, but Ian now seemed like a snake. Constricting his opponent with his long body, and bewitching them with his silver tongue. He was a terrifying being, even in thought.

“……”

“You seem busy these days.”

“……What brings you here?”

“What brings me here? You’re talking as if I’ve come to a place I shouldn’t be.”

How brazen. Sesenia barely managed to stop herself from twitching her lip.

‘When did it start? When did you become infatuated with Elzer? When did you decide to betray me?’

Whatever the reason, Ian was not her friend. Sesenia was the only one who considered Ian a friend, and he harbored other intentions. Sesenia, who realized this only after her death, loathed him now.

‘But I can’t show my emotions. I have to get my revenge, and showing emotions is… something only clumsy people do. I’m different from Elzer.’

“No. Why wouldn’t you be welcome?”

“That’s more like Sesenia. When I saw you just now, you were giving me such a cold look that I thought you were someone else for a moment.”

“Was I?”

He naturally entered the room and sat next to Sesenia. Then, he pressed down on the book in Sesenia’s hand with his finger.

“Are you reading a boring book again?”

“It’s interesting. The book.”

“You’re always so boring.”

What kind of person is interesting, anyway? Why do they dismiss her as boring? Is a person’s existence only for the purpose of entertaining someone else? There were many things she wanted to ask, but Sesenia suppressed her expression and closed the book she was reading.

“What did you come here to say today?”

“I always came even without anything to say. Why are you acting like it’s something new?”

“Still, it seems like you have something to say today. Come to think of it, I’ve been seeing the imperial carriage coming to the Marquisate frequently lately. Isn’t that you?”

“Huh? Oh. Was it? Was it me? I don’t quite remember.”

Watching Ian trying to smile nonchalantly, Sesenia also smiled nonchalantly.

“Is that so? I must have been mistaken.”

“That’s right. You must have been mistaken. There’s no way the imperial carriage would be coming here. Ah. Come to think of it, it seems like there’s talk of marriage with my brother.”

“Marriage talk?”

Was it around this time? Sesenia stroked her chin. Come to think of it, it was around the time she turned 19 after her coming-of-age ceremony. The Marquis wanted to form a marriage alliance with the imperial family at all costs. Eventually, he managed to secure an engagement between the Crown Prince and his daughter.

Of course, the result wasn’t very good, but thinking about it, it was around this time.

‘It must have been around this time that my sister was making a fuss, saying she would never marry the Crown Prince.’

Seeing Elzer, who made a splendid debut through the national founding anniversary banquet, the Crown Prince seemed quite pleased, and the Marquis was thinking of sending his eldest and beloved daughter as the Crown Princess. But Elzer had a successful national founding anniversary banquet and instantly became a rising star in society, so she started making a fuss about not going.

In the end, Sesenia became engaged to the Crown Prince in place of her sister.

“Yeah. Your father always wanted to have ties with the imperial family. It seems like things went well this time. Ah, maybe the carriage you saw was that one.”

“Is that so.”

While nodding in agreement, Sesenia sneered inwardly.

It might have been the imperial carriage that the Crown Prince rode in, but Sesenia knew for sure. She had already finished investigating. The day Sesenia told her sister not to act stupid, Elzer had called Ian.

She couldn’t know what they talked about, but in any case, it was obvious that Elzer had asked Ian for help.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“About what?”

“Since we’re on the topic. About marrying my brother.”

“That’s a strange question. Shouldn’t you be asking that question to my sister, not me? Do I even have a choice?”

“Oh……? Is that so.”

“Rather, it seems strange that you’re asking me that. Ian. Why? Has my sister already said she doesn’t want to?”

At that question, Ian naturally pulled Sesenia’s head to rest on his shoulder. Then, he stroked her head as if he were handling a pet.

“No, I’m just asking. The marriage partner is one of the Marquis’s daughters. I think I’d be sad if it were you.”

So, this was it. The perfect reason why Sesenia couldn’t suspect Ian.

‘I thought it was love.’

She thought the feelings Ian had for her were love. Sesenia leaned on his shoulder and chuckled.

“You know my heart, Sesenia.”

“……Ian.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you love me?”

“Why are you asking something like that?”

His actions were actions that anyone would consider those of a lover. He was affectionate and genuinely worried about her. Or, at least, he seemed to be worried. But Ian never answered Sesenia’s question.

“I’m just curious.”

“Don’t you know my heart better than anyone else?”

“No, I don’t. Your actions are those of love, but you’ve never said it in words.”

“You know even without me saying it.”

“No, I don’t. It feels like you’re managing me, pretending to be close and acting like we’re in a special relationship, even though we’re not actually dating. It makes me feel even dirtier.”

Sesenia lifted her head, which he had forced her to move.

“……You feel dirty?”

“Yeah. So, don’t try to test me when you don’t really love me.”

Because of your actions, I thought you loved and cared for me in the past. Even in that moment when I was forced to marry your brother, the Crown Prince, I was filled with guilt towards you.

I always had feelings of guilt towards you, even while giving my whole heart to my fiancé because I was engaged. Because I thought you loved me.

‘But I was stupid. I was.’

“Why are you saying that, Sesenia.”

“So, I’m saying don’t be wishy-washy.”

Sesenia slowly got up from her seat and smiled brightly. Her face, which smiled even more to prevent her emotions from consuming her, looked happier than ever.

“Ha…… You still don’t know my heart.”

“Yeah. I don’t think you know your own heart either, Ian.”

“Don’t know…!”

“We grew up as if we were naturally going to become lovers since a long time ago. Starting as childhood friends, then friends. And then a vague relationship that wasn’t quite lovers. So, you’re just confused within that relationship. If that’s not the case, and you really love me then act properly. If you really don’t want to lose me.”

Sesenia turned her body around.

“……You look happy, Sesenia.”

“Is that so? I guess I’m happy because things are going well these days.”

Only then did Ian’s expression change.

“Things are going well, huh. Ah. I heard you’re starting a business?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that business doing well?”

“That’s right. It’s doing too well.”

If they were really friends, the first thing to do here would have been to say congratulations. But Ian opened his mouth very slowly, as if to show where his emotions were going.

“At the same time as your business, I heard that Elzer is preparing to take over the Marquisate recently.”

“You hear about things quickly, don’t you?”

“The rumors have spread.”

“I didn’t know the Prince had a hobby of collecting such rumors.”

Sesenia, who was sitting slightly on the table, nodded her head.

“There’s a subtle edge to your words.”

“No? It just seems like you’re being sensitive today, Ian.”

“Is that so. Is Elzer doing well? She must be busy.”

Elzer. Elzer. When he tried to change the subject, he asked about Elzer, and when he changed it again, he asked about Elzer. Sesenia could only laugh as she watched Ian repeat that action.

‘I can’t believe I didn’t know anything when he was doing such obvious things.’

Was it because it was already past, or was it because she was living in this timeline? The memories before her death were gradually fading, except for the big ones.

But things about Ian were becoming clearer and clearer. Those trivial conversations that she had dismissed as unimportant at the time.

Just like it was natural to wake up after sleeping, or to eat when morning came, the relationship with Ian was always like that. So, Sesenia found this moment strangely amazing.

She didn’t realize that he didn’t love her and was maintaining a vague relationship, even though it was so obvious. Those things were so amazing.

“If you’re curious, go visit her. She’ll be happy if you come.”

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