I Heard You Only See Me as a Friend - Chapter 29

Being bitten while on a bed was a novel experience for Ji Wan.

Feng Jin’s quilt was folded neatly, placed at the head of the bed along with the pillow like a square block of tofu. Ji Wan sat upright facing the bedding, cautiously avoiding touching Feng Jin’s personal items, merely staring at the grey and white stripes on the quilt.

Feng Jin being willing to let him on the bed didn’t mean he was willing to let him mess with his quilt or pillow those were two different concepts.

“Do you need me to switch spots? You sit here?” Ji Wan asked.

“No need.” Feng Jin’s hand pressed on Ji Wan’s shoulder, his tone lazy. “Doesn’t matter.”

Since Feng Jin said so, Ji Wan didn’t push it. He lowered his head slightly, feeling the heat as Feng Jin leaned in close.

His nape was bitten open, and pheromones were continuously injected. Ji Wan’s gland which couldn’t perceive or emit pheromones felt a wave of soreness that made his whole body go soft.

If they were standing as usual, Ji Wan would lean against something or shift his stance to stay steady. But now he was sitting cross-legged, so his upper body stability relied entirely on his waist, and right now… he couldn’t keep his back straight like he normally did.

Feeling increasingly weak, Ji Wan instinctively reached out to grab something for support, but his current position severely limited his options. The walls and bedrails on either side were hard to reach, and the safety rail in front was too far away. The only things at a suitable distance were Feng Jin’s quilt and pillow.

Lean on Feng Jin’s quilt?

The moment the thought appeared, Ji Wan immediately rejected it. He closed his eyes, bracing himself with his hands against the mattress, struggling to stay upright.

This… was so difficult. He wished Feng Jin would finish quickly.

But perhaps because he felt meeting up after going home would be troublesome, Feng Jin was exceptionally lingering this time, as if he wanted to inject every drop of pheromone in his body into Ji Wan.

Ji Wan gradually found it unbearable and hunched his back, his nose twitching as he suppressed tears.

A warm object covered the back of his hand. Ji Wan opened his eyes and saw something through his blurred, teary vision. It was Feng Jin’s hand.

Before Ji Wan could wonder why Feng Jin’s hand was there, his wrist was lifted. Then, his hand was placed onto the soft surface of the quilt in front of him.

Feng Jin’s intention was clear.

Ji Wan understood. Under these circumstances, he couldn’t afford to worry about whether it was inappropriate or impolite; he placed his other hand on top as well and leaned his entire upper body forward, burying his head in the soft down quilt.

With a support point, Ji Wan finally relaxed and let out a sigh of relief.

Because he had leaned forward, Feng Jin had to adjust his position accordingly, effectively shielding Ji Wan’s entire body beneath him.

To be honest, in the past, Ji Wan would never have accepted this posture; it would have made him feel oppressed and easily reminded him of many disgusting things. Yet now, the fact that the person doing this was Feng Jin made it strangely acceptable to him.

Feng Jin was his friend, a friend who wouldn’t have any sordid thoughts about him. This level of intimacy was entirely within the normal range.

When Feng Jin finally finished and sat up, Ji Wan was still slumped over the quilt. He said in a muffled voice, “If you hadn’t stopped, your quilt would be completely soaked by me. Actually, it’s already wet.”

Feng Jin was massaging Ji Wan’s nape. Hearing this, his movements paused. “Let me see?”

Ji Wan kept his head buried in the quilt until his tears were completely dry before sitting up. He shifted slightly to let Feng Jin see the quilt clearly. “See for yourself.”

There was a small damp patch on the clean quilt cover, quite noticeable.

But that wasn’t what Feng Jin wanted to see. He wanted to see Ji Wan right after he had finished crying. However, Ji Wan didn’t turn his face toward him; he could only see a small portion of his profile and the slight redness at the corner of his eye.

Feng Jin realized he was in trouble again. Blood wasn’t rushing to his head; it was rushing downward. Fortunately, it was winter and the clothes were thick. Feng Jin quietly pulled down his sweater, trying to stretch it as much as possible to hide the abnormality.

Feng Jin chatted casually, pretending nothing was wrong. “How does it feel? Is there any difference compared to being bitten elsewhere?”

Ji Wan thought about it and spoke the truth: “It’s definitely easier leaning like this. Unlike before, I don’t have to spend energy standing steady. Leaning takes no effort.”

Ji Wan was just speaking casually without any hidden meaning, but to Feng Jin’s ears, every word felt like a light scratch on his heart.

Feng Jin struggled to keep his voice steady: “…If you like it, then why don’t we do it here from now on?”

“We’ll see.” Ji Wan didn’t take it seriously. Once his body had mostly recovered, he left Feng Jin’s bed and continued packing.

The day of departure arrived. Ji Wan and Feng Jin went to their respective homes to wait for the Spring Festival.

The festive atmosphere on the streets grew stronger, shops and streets were decorated, and more people were rushing home for reunions.

The members of the Feng family began returning to the old estate one after another. Today’s lunch was a gathering for Feng Jin’s immediate family and his third uncle’s family, who had just returned.

Feng Jin’s father sat at the table, chatting and drinking with his brother whom he rarely saw. Feng Jin sat to the side, eating quietly, with his young cousin, Feng Jing, sitting next to him.

“How are Xiao Jing’s studies?” Feng Jin’s father asked.

“Oh, no good, no good. This kid is mischievous. He only ranks in the top twenty of his grade; he can’t compare to Feng Jin.” Third Uncle shook his head, took a sip of wine, and said to his son, “Learn more from your older cousin, you hear me?”

The young cousin was drinking a bottle of coconut milk. Hearing the lecture, he was indignant: “I’m already very impressive! Big Cousin is just too impressive; you can’t learn that even if you try!”

Third Uncle laughed and scolded, “Useless. You’re only in primary school; why do you lack drive?” He then turned to his elder brother. “By the way, Brother, how did you raise Feng Jin? Right now, you really can’t pick a single flaw in him. He doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything either. Our Xiao Jing is terrified of going into the water to swim; he won’t listen no matter what we say.”

Even in a relaxed state, Feng Jin’s father had a serious air. Hearing this, his brow furrowed, making him look even more stern.

“An Alpha shouldn’t be afraid of this or that,” his father’s voice carried an inherent authority. “Back when I was a kid, I also had a problem with being afraid of water and not daring to swim. Didn’t our father just kick me into the sea? Within three days, that problem was gone.”

Third Uncle recalled the past and sighed a couple of times.

Feng Jin’s father continued: “Feng Jin isn’t fearless either. He was afraid of heights when he was little. Once I found out, I immediately had someone take him to the roof of the tallest building. There was a small balcony suspended outside, originally meant for enjoying the view, but it was temporarily used as a training room for him. Later, something came up at work, so I let him stand there alone for a day. The kid was tough; nothing happened, and his fear of heights was gone after he came down.”

He took a sip of wine. “You, you’re just too soft-hearted with your Xiao Jing.”

Third Uncle clicked his tongue in amazement and smiled. “Xiao Jin is really something. Impressive! Come, let Third Uncle have a toast with you!”

Feng Jin also smiled. He picked up his glass and clinked it with his uncle’s. “It was quite impressive. At that time, I thought I was going to die.”

The people listening laughed, assuming Feng Jin was just reminiscing. Feng Jin smiled and downed his glass of water in one go.

Violent winds, scorching sun, and only him. The terror of calling out to heaven and earth with no response hadn’t cured his acrophobia; instead, it had worsened a mild fear.

However, from that day on, he learned to disguise it. No one ever discovered his fear again.

His father leaving him there alone to go to work was something he hadn’t expected. Gradually, this incident became a knot in his heart, a deep-seated craving.

He wished someone would discover his fear and hold his hand when he was afraid. He wished someone would choose him over other “important things.”

…Feng Jin remembered something, and the smile on his lips became more sincere.

Ji Wan would choose him over attending class.

Although Ji Wan didn’t know he was afraid of heights, by a stroke of luck, he had helped him out several times. Perhaps this was fate.

Feng Jin poured himself a glass of coconut milk and drank it. It was very sweet.

After lunch, the young cousin begged Feng Jin to take him out to play. Since Feng Jin had nothing to do and remembered that the last time, he took this kid out he had happened to run into Ji Wan, his heart softened and he agreed.

Feng Jin put on his down jacket and scarf and headed out. He asked his cousin, who was bundled up like a ball, “Where do you want to go this time?”

“I heard a new, really fun haunted house opened here!” the cousin cheered. “Can we go there?”

Feng Jin didn’t care; he wasn’t afraid of such things. He agreed and took his cousin in a taxi to the new haunted house.

In the car, the cousin looked at the scenery moving quickly outside and asked expectantly, “Cousin, will that pretty brother from last time be there? Can he come play with us?”

Feng Jin raised an eyebrow. “You want to play with him?”

The cousin nodded frantically. “Yes! That brother is so good-looking. In the future, I want to marry him and make him my wife!”

Feng Jin: “…”

Feng Jin’s face went blank instantly. “He’s not here. He’s busy.”

“Oh, okay.” The cousin sighed in disappointment but quickly adjusted his mood. By the time they reached the haunted house, he was happy again.

However, while waiting in line to buy tickets, a spark of inspiration hit him. “Cousin, you didn’t even call him. How do you know he’s busy?”

Feng Jin: “…”

Before Feng Jin could invent another excuse, the cousin’s eyes sparkled. He suddenly started jumping and waving his hand frantically in a certain direction.

“Brother Ji Wan!” the cousin shouted.

Feng Jin’s heart skipped a beat. He followed the cousin’s gaze through the crowd and spotted Ji Wan walking alone, holding a book.

Hearing the voice, Ji Wan looked over. Their eyes met, and a smile spread across Ji Wan’s originally indifferent face.

Of all these people here, only I made him smile.

This thought flashed through Feng Jin’s mind, making his blood boil even in the cold winter. He walked over, pretending to be calm, and pulled back the cousin who was trying to pounce on Ji Wan. He said coolly, “You’re here to play too?”

“I’m here for a painter’s signing event.” Ji Wan smiled and patted the head of the cousin, who was looking at him with wide eyes. “And you?”

“I,” Feng Jin gave his cousin’s head a light flick to make him behave, “am accompanying him to this haunted house.”

Hearing this, Ji Wan’s expression became serious. He looked at Feng Jin, then at the haunted house, appearing hesitant to speak.

Feng Jin suddenly remembered, when they watched horror movies together, in order to get closer to Ji Wan, he had seemingly pretended that he was afraid of such things?

Dammit.

But Ji Wan didn’t think too much of it. Thanks to Feng Jin’s usual habit of being stubborn about his pride, Ji Wan naturally assumed that Feng Jin was enduring his fear just to accompany his cousin.

“You really are…” Ji Wan was a bit helpless.

Feng Jin quickly changed the subject. “Whose signing event are you attending? Nearby?”

“Yeah, a painter I quite like,” Ji Wan said.

A painter? Right, in art class, Ji Wan’s drawings were quite good; it wasn’t surprising he had a favorite painter.

Feng Jin was about to suggest accompanying Ji Wan to the signing when Ji Wan checked the time on his phone. After a moment of thought, he said, “I came early and have some time. I’ll accompany you to the haunted house first. After we’re done, you can go play elsewhere.”

Feng Jin’s heart leaped. Controlling the urge to smile, he feigned dissatisfaction: “Accompany us? Who among us needs company?”

“I phrased it wrong. I want to see it, and it just so happens you guys are here.” Ji Wan smoothly corrected himself.

Feng Jin hooked his lips into a smile, blocked his cousin who was cheering for a hug from Ji Wan, and led Ji Wan toward the haunted house.

The theme of the haunted house was an abandoned hospital. it looked eerie and terrifying. Feng Jin bought tickets for the three of them and they walked in. The natural light from outside faded, leaving only sickly green lights inside.

For someone afraid of creepy atmospheres, coming here would clearly involve a lot of psychological pressure.

The young cousin was a brave one. He ran and jumped ahead excitedly, quickly disappearing into the distance. Since it was safe, Feng Jin didn’t demand he stay close, instead feeling quite pleased by the kid’s departure.

Ji Wan walked beside him, their arms brushing occasionally. Feng Jin wanted to hold Ji Wan’s hand but was afraid it would be too abrupt and make him notice something.

Ji Wan turned to him. “Is it okay that your cousin ran off?”

“It’s fine, ignore him.” Feng Jin lowered his voice. “Why are you worried about him? He isn’t afraid; he’s brave to a fault.”

“Mm,” Ji Wan responded with a smile. “Alright, not worrying about him. I’ll worry about our brother Feng instead. Don’t be afraid, Brother Feng.”

Ji Wan had a pleasant voice, and that title sounded very different when it came from his mouth compared to others.

…If only I could hear Ji Wan whisper that into my ear in the dead of night. Ideally with a bit of a sob, calling my name repeatedly.

Feng Jin’s ears felt hot. He snapped back to reality, wanting to pretend to be scared to get closer to Ji Wan, but he also didn’t want to ruin his image too much. He could only manage a difficult middle ground: “…I’m not that afraid.”

The smile in Ji Wan’s eyes deepened. He patted Feng Jin’s back and reached out to grasp his wrist.

“If you really can’t take it, just close your eyes. I’ll lead you out,” Ji Wan said.

While this wasn’t entirely satisfying, it was indeed the closest he could get to Ji Wan right now.

“Fine then. You lead the way. Tell me if anything is wrong; I won’t close my eyes completely,” Feng Jin said reluctantly.

They hadn’t walked many steps before a pale, bloody arm suddenly reached out from the wall. The nails were black and sharp, looking quite frightening.

Feng Jin, who had been watching out of the corner of his eye, instinctively stepped in front of Ji Wan before realizing he was supposed to be the scared one. He quickly shook the arm that Ji Wan was holding.

“Don’t be afraid, it’s all fake.” Ji Wan touched the arm sticking out of the wall. “See? It’s still warm. It’s a staff member’s hand. No wonder it looks so realistic.”

Staff member: “…” Could you give me some face and scream a little?

Feng Jin would have preferred it to be fake-looking plastic. He unhappily removed Ji Wan’s hand from the staff member, patted it, and used his own pheromones to cover the staff member’s scent.

“Don’t touch it. Who knows what that paint is made of? It might cause an allergy,” Feng Jin frowned.

Ji Wan: “…” Such a clean freak. Truly you, Feng Jin.

Ji Wan continued leading Feng Jin forward. As they walked, he realized Feng Jin’s hand was actually still trembling. He turned to look and saw Feng Jin pursing his thin lips, his dark eyelashes lowered, staring fixedly at the ground.

“Can’t stand it,” Feng Jin explained, noticing his gaze, a slight frown on his face. “Can’t help it.”

Ji Wan and Feng Jin stared at each other. Feng Jin’s expression showed a rare vulnerability; he seemed truly terrified.

When giving someone courage, holding a wrist wasn’t the best method.

“Do you mind if I hold your hand?” Ji Wan asked softly.

Feng Jin froze, then shook his head rapidly.

So Ji Wan’s hand slid down from Feng Jin’s wrist and settled into the palm that was larger than his own. Even in winter, Feng Jin’s hand was scorching hot. This heat pulled at him, quickly surrounding him.

After running around for a while, the young cousin realized he had gone too far and turned back to find Feng Jin.

He saw his “brave” cousin, who was supposedly unafraid of anything, walking hand-in-hand with the pretty brother he dreamed of marrying.

Cousin: “…?”

His heart cracked.

Am I… a bit redundant?