I Healed the Cold Dark Goddess’s Loneliness, and Now She Won’t Let Me Go! - Chapter 19

It was a few days after I had made that firm resolve.

In the meantime, I had obsessed over the details of our room, having Lady Reine manifest bookshelves and houseplants while she praised my sense of style.

I had answered her questions about my old world and fumbled when she asked things that were too difficult to explain.

I even managed to negotiate with her to secure my peace of mind, getting her to promise that we would only bathe together once every three days.

It was after all that, on a certain night when we had climbed into bed to sleep, that I finally broached the subject.

“Lady Reine, there is something I want to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

Recognizing the shift in my atmosphere, Lady Reine looked back at me with a solemn expression.

“I… I’ve been hiding something from you.”

“…Speak.”

A hint of tension bled into her voice. I took a deep breath and began to spin my words.

“I knew about you, Lady Reine, long before I ever came to this world.”

“…What do you mean by that?”

“Well… you see… first, there is this culture called ‘games’…”

As soon as I said it, I tripped over my words. To get her to understand my story, do I have to start by explaining the very concept of a video game? She’s sharp, but am I even capable of explaining this well?

Perhaps unable to watch me struggle any longer, Lady Reine spoke.

“…If it is difficult to explain, I could search your memories directly.”

“No! I want to explain it properly with my own voice!”

“I see. Very well.”

Certainly, if Lady Reine touched me and searched my memories as she usually does, she could understand exactly what I wanted to convey. But I intentionally rejected that idea. I felt that if she learned everything at once that way, it would be too much; I wanted her to follow along in stages through my own words.

Though, hmmm… how should I put this?

“Um, well, in the world I came from, there were many stories.”

Following a flash of inspiration that I could probably just skip the “game” medium entirely, I gave that preface. Lady Reine nodded silently.

“One of those stories was called Contrast.  To put it very simply, it’s a story about a girl who falls in love with various men but the problem is the setting of that story.”

“The setting?”

“In the world depicted in Contrast, two moons floating in the sky were the symbol.”

“….!”

Yes. This was the feature shared with the world we were in now. It was the first clue that had linked this place to the game for me.

“That’s not all. In that story, you and Lord Sulug were spoken of as well… as the mythology of five thousand years ago.”

“…So, you are saying that story depicts a world five millennia in the future.”

Lady Reine reached the conclusion I was aiming for on her own. Hearing it out loud, it sounded like a wild tale. I had grown familiar with the “reincarnated into a game” trope, so I accepted it easily, but from her perspective, it was only natural to find it unbelievable.

“…It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?”

“I do not think you are lying, Haruno. At the same time, I cannot accept such a conclusion immediately. Is there any other basis for this?”

“Lady Reine…”

She received my absurd story calmly and prompted me to continue. She listened to me properly, but she wasn’t being blindly credulous either. As expected, she is a sincere and kind person.

“Yes. That story begins when the protagonist is given power by Lord Sulug, who has become a ghost.”

“That fool Sulug… a ghost…”

A slight tremor of agitation flickered in her voice.

“And you, Lady Reine…”

As I recalled the details, a sudden pain tightened in my chest.

Thinking back on it now, the Lady Reine in the game was nothing like the woman I loved. She was the source of all monsters, a being who scattered curses across the world. The “Last Boss” who manipulated the mastermind from the shadows, destined to be defeated in the end. I think even Lord Sulug in the game said something about how it was time to let her finally sleep.

“Haruno. What am I?”

“That is…”

When I fell silent, unable to find the words, Lady Reine waited patiently for me.

From there, I took my time, choosing my words carefully to tell her about the Lady Reine of the future. She listened to my stumbling explanation without taking offense.

When I finished speaking, she said only one thing.

“I will ask you this: Was Haruno in that story?”

“Well… no, of course not. Not a shadow or a trace of me.”

“Then that Reine and I are already different beings. It has nothing to do with me.”

“….!”

The realization hit me like a bolt of lightning.

Indeed, I couldn’t imagine the current Lady Reine ever falling to such a state, and more importantly, I wouldn’t let her. I, too, believed that we would never be linked to the future of the game again.

And, knowing that Lady Reine felt the same, that my existence was the deciding factor made me feel immensely happy.

“Yes! As long as I’m here, I won’t let anything like that happen to you! Ah, but…”

Caught up in the moment, I had blurted out something high-spirited, but then I hit the biggest problem.

“What is it?”

“Well… come to think of it, I don’t actually know the details of why you became like that in the story. So I can’t say for sure that a worst-case scenario won’t happen.”

The game never explained why Lady Reine became the Last Boss. To begin with, the original form of the Lady Reine standing before me was only drawn as a bonus in the Contrast setting materials; the details of her past were never made clear. So, there was a possibility that circumstances or schemes beyond my control were the cause.

If that were the case, what could I do? If it was caused by an unknown enemy, I might be useless. As I worried, Lady Reine spoke.

“…Haruno. I shall say it again: there is no longer any need to worry. To be honest, there were parts of your story that rang true to me. I can imagine what would have to happen for me to become like that. That being said, as long as Haruno is here, I will never follow that path. I promise you.”

“Is that so…?”

I wonder what those “imaginable events” are? I was very curious, but I sensed from her expression that she didn’t want me to pry further, so I didn’t push.

“More importantly, Haruno. Tell me something more pleasant. I, too, am a bit interested in this story of the future.”

“Ah, really?”

This is the bad habit of an otaku.

Is it really okay for me to talk about my favorite work today?! The urge took over, and I completely forgot my sense of discretion.

“Well, you see, in Contrast, the protagonist is a girl chosen by the male God of Light, and she ends up attending an academy for nobles. There, she meets various male characters…”

I began to recount the game’s story with excitement. Lady Reine listened quietly, occasionally interjecting with questions. It felt so good that my tongue just kept wagging. That was my mistake.

“—And out of all of them, my ‘Oshi’ (fave) was the Duke’s son, Lord Alford. He has this sort of shadowed kindness, you know? I’ve always been a sucker for that kind of charm.”

“…………Hah?”

The atmosphere shifted so abruptly my body felt it; a small hic sound escaped my throat.

Lady Reine, who hadn’t gotten angry when I struggled to explain, who hadn’t even blinked when I told her she became a monstrous Last Boss in a disrespectful future, that same Lady Reine had completely lost her composure over that one sentence.

“Who is that?”

“E-Eh… he’s one of the romance options, Lord Alford…”

“I am asking what that person is to Haruno.”

Her voice was low and cold. In her eyes, a whirlpool of emotions. Emotions that had been dormant for days was swirling.

“H-He’s my ‘Oshi’…”

“An ‘Oshi’? What is that?”

“Um, it’s hard to explain in one word. He’s like a favorite character.”

“Favorite…”

Lady Reine’s face grew increasingly grim by the second.

“No, well, he’s strictly a fictional character, an object of affection on a screen…”

“To you, am I not the same?”

“Eh…”

“In the world you came from, I was a being in a story, was I not? Then, what is the difference between me and this ‘Duke’s son’?”

“Th-That is…”

Now that she mentioned it, she was right. To me, both Lady Reine and Alford were characters in the same game. My choice of words about “a screen” was definitely poor. But now, I knew the Lady Reine in front of me, and I had come to love her for real. I tried to gather my thoughts to tell her that…

But to Lady Reine, my silence was damning.

“So, if that man were to appear, would you switch sides?”

“N-No! Of course, not!”

“Haruno, did you not say you were mine? Did you not promise to look only at me?”

“I-I’m keeping my promise! I’m devoted only to you right now!”

“Was it a lie?”

“It’s not a lie!”

I denied it desperately, but her expression remained clouded. My words weren’t reaching her. Her eyes were a mix of deep anxiety and rage. Before I knew it, I had been pinned down onto the bed.

“Haruno…”

Lady Reine sat astride me, looking down with clouded eyes. Eventually, her hand moved slowly toward me and touched my neck.

“…!”

A cold sensation. And then, a gradually intensifying pressure.

“L-Lady… Reine…?”

“I… do not leave me Haruno…!”

“Stop…”

I couldn’t breathe. At this rate, I was going to die. And yet, despite the threat to my life, the first thing that came to my mind was something else. The face of Lady Reine, who had lost herself. I didn’t think she was scary. Because her expression looked less like anger and more like she was terrified. That was more painful than anything. I wanted to heal her somehow.

I reached out with all my might and placed my hand on her cheek.

“…”

Surprised, or perhaps snapping back to her senses, the grip on my neck loosened. Not wanting to miss this chance, I apologized to my oxygen-starved body and forced the words out.

“I want to be with you more… That’s why Lady Reine… If I die, I won’t be with you anymore… I don’t want that…”

“….!”

Her hands pulled away instantly.

“Haruno… Haruno…! Forgive me, I…!”

The Lady Reine who had returned to normal whispered in a trembling voice. Her eyes were now filled with self-loathing and regret.

“Lady Reine, please don’t cry.”

“But because of me, you…”

“I don’t mind. Something like that… well, it’s troubling, but I think it can’t be helped.”

“It can’t be helped?”

“Yes.”

Because that is the position I’m in. I chose this.

“Lady Reine. You’ve treated me so well. That’s because I’m your ‘Shrine Maiden’ property. So, if it’s you… even if I’m killed, I’m in no position to complain.”

“Stop… please stop… Haruno, that is…”

“If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry for saying things that made you anxious! It’s my fault for not making you believe that I truly love you most.”

“No… that’s not it! Haruno…”

Wanting her to recover, I took her hand. It was still shaking. It was proof that she was currently being torn apart by self-reproach and at the same time, proof of how much she cherished me. I was happy, but I wanted the old Lady Reine back.

I thought and thought, wanting to overwrite the regret filling her heart and an idea came to me. A bold method I had never even considered before. Is it too disrespectful…? Is now really the time…? A part of me hesitated.

But I felt that with the way she was now, nothing less would get through to her.

I took a deep breath and steeled my resolve. Fine, here goes nothing!

“Lady Reine.”

“…What?”

As she looked up sadly, I pulled her toward me with all my strength while she was off-guard.

“!?”

“P-Please excuse me…!”

And then, I—I pressed my lips against hers.

“Mnh…!?”

Her body stiffened for a moment. But I didn’t let go. I closed my eyes and confirmed the sensation of her.

Cold, soft lips. My heart pounded so hard I thought it would explode at this first-time sensation.

Is it true that couples stick their tongues in from here? How strong do their hearts have to be… Even as misplaced thoughts like that flickered in and out, I didn’t stop.

Those few seconds felt as long as an eternity.

Eventually, I pulled back. I’m sure my face was bright red. But Lady Reine’s face looked a little red, too.

“Ha-Haruno… just now…”

“It was… a kiss…”

“….!”

Her eyes went wide.

“It was my first kiss. I gave it to you, Lady Reine.”

“Your first…”

“Yes. So, since it was my precious first time, I want you to be happy about it, not cry… please…”

That was my limit. I looked away from her in sheer embarrassment.

A-Ah, what did I just say? I sounded like my first kiss was some incredibly valuable thing. How cringey… my objective self is screaming about my ego… wait, isn’t the important thing here that I ‘stole’ Lady Reine’s lips? Awawa, should I apologize? Should I apologize quickly…?!

“Um, Lady Rei—”

“Haruno~~~!”

“Waugh!?”

Before I could apologize, I was pulled into an embrace. I couldn’t see her face, but there was no longer anything negative in her voice. I felt a wave of relief knowing that, somehow, everything turned out okay.

“Haruno.”

“Yes?”

Wait, the kiss is a separate issue, right? Do I still need to make amends…? Lady Reine’s next words blew those worries away.

“I want to do it again.”

“Eh… ah…”

Before I knew it, my face was turned back toward her, and unlike before, her beautiful face was the one approaching me. It triggered a whole different kind of heart-pounding.

“Wait, wait a second…? My… my mental preparation…”

“I cannot wait.”

And this time, it was a kiss from Lady Reine.

Longer and deeper than the first. While allowing her to invade a part of me, her arms tightened around me.

Even though our contact was just a small surface area, it felt like we were becoming one. It was a little frustrating how easily my body melted, almost erasing the memory of my “first” just now.

I surrendered myself to her and when our lips finally parted, Lady Reine smiled with satisfaction.

“It is… very nice. I fear I could become addicted to this.”

“P-Please have mercy on me…”

I protested as best I could with a bright red face. But Lady Reine only stroked my hair lovingly and didn’t seem inclined to listen.

And so, I ended up falling asleep… while being hugged from the front by Lady Reine. Naturally, I couldn’t fall asleep for quite a while.