I Don't Want To Fall In Love With The Heroine [Quick Wear] - Chapter 38

Bai Qian had braced herself for the worst-case scenario.

She imagined Fu Siwan walking out and telling her flatly that she still didn’t want to study. If that happened, how was she supposed to react?

As it turned out, at certain moments, she and the girl shared a tacit understanding they probably shouldn’t have. Fu Siwan emerged quickly and sat down beside her with a composed air. She stared at the blank TV screen and spoke slowly.

“If a person’s deep-seated habits could be changed by a few lines of someone else’s ‘chicken soup’ inspiration, then they probably wouldn’t have ended up this way in the first place. Don’t you think I’m right, Auntie?”

She didn’t explicitly state her decision, but Bai Qian understood. Perhaps because she had sensed this outcome earlier, the woman didn’t feel a wave of disappointment.

Fu Siwan didn’t seem to care about her reaction. She turned, her lips curling into a faint smile. It was a beautiful smile, but it felt hauntingly fragile.

“Of course, what I just described could happen. But it would probably take a miracle for her to change. Right?”

Fu Siwan blinked. Her expressions were more vivid than they had ever been, yet they carried a sense of vulnerability that made one’s heart ache even more.

“You wanted my answer, and I’ve given it. So, what are you going to do with a piece of trash like me—someone who won’t listen and won’t play the part of a good little student?”

She used the word “trash”—a term usually reserved for defective goods or people meant to be discarded. It was as if she had already accepted the consequences of her defiance and was waiting for the sentence to be carried out.

The little rabbit’s thorns hadn’t just wounded others this time; they had accidentally pierced her own skin as well.

Bai Qian felt as if she were holding a boiling pot. She had been desperately pouring cold water over it to lower the temperature, but this sealed vessel refused to cool down. Sometimes the heat would drop for a moment, but before she could rejoice, it would flare up again with a hiss, becoming even more searing and taxing.

Should I throw the pot away? Bai Qian thought: No. Not only would she not throw it away, she would work even harder to soothe it. Only she knew that once this agonizing pot was finally opened, the contents inside would be incredibly fragrant and sweet.

Without a second thought, Bai Qian pulled her little rabbit into an embrace once again.

The poor thing, covered in blood from her own thorns, felt her thick shell finally crack. She struggled violently in Bai Qian’s arms, her movements fueled by a mix of anxiety and a sudden, frantic outburst of tears and rage.

The sense of security that had been ruthlessly stripped from her since birth was now being offered back, but it felt like a shattered relic—touch it too lightly, and it would break; touch it too hard, and the jagged shards would only cut deeper.

Bai Qian held her tighter as the struggle intensified, not daring to loosen her grip for a second. It was meant to be a tender embrace, yet it felt like a tug-of-war—not of physical strength, but a battle between limitless gentleness and habitual fear.

Minutes ticked by until the invisible, overstretched rope finally snapped with a sharp crack. Fu Siwan gasped for air, her body going limp as she slumped into the woman’s arms.

Bai Qian maintained the position for a long time before letting go. The girl was uncharacteristically docile, looking like a soft rabbit whose fur had finally been smoothed over. Her eyes, glistening after the crying fit, were breathtakingly beautiful. She stared at Bai Qian, unblinking, watching the woman use a tissue to wipe the tear tracks from her cheeks. She didn’t pull away this time.

“So,” Bai Qian asked softly, “what does our little one want to do? Whatever it is, I’ll be right there with you.”

Fu Siwan’s voice was thick with the remnants of her sobs, making her words sound more like a shy pout than the interrogation she intended. “Why?”

The woman’s eyes were deep and captivating, shimmering with a light that could only be described as tenderness.

“I told you, there isn’t just one path to success. For most people, studying is the easiest route. But if the easiest road is the most painful one for you, then we’ll find a road that makes you happy. So, tell me—what do you like?”

In the end, Fu Siwan couldn’t find a path she wanted to walk. She realized she didn’t have anything she had ever truly wanted to do. Her life, which had been headed toward a disastrous end, had been upended the moment Bai Qian tried to steer her onto a “correct” course. Now, she simply didn’t know what a “proper” future was supposed to look like.

Bai Qian wasn’t surprised. Under the girl’s self-conscious gaze, she spoke with a voice as gentle as raindrops falling from a lily pad into a pond—soft, melodic, and clear.

“It’s okay. That’s actually normal. There are so many people in this world who have no idea what they want to do. Very few people truly know their dream and pursue it with conviction. So, from now on, I’ll be with you. We’ll try things out and make mistakes until we find what you truly love.”

******

Before she could begin the “trial and error” phase with her little one, Bai Qian received a call from her mother.

“Xiao Qian, which day are you coming back? I’ll have Auntie Zhao get your room ready in advance.”

Bai Qian suddenly remembered a very important detail. The body she inhabited had a family—loving parents and a happy home. This meant that for New Year’s Eve, she was expected to return home.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Bai Qian replied.

“Good. About what time will you arrive? Should I prepare dinner?”

“No need. We probably won’t get there until near midnight.”

Her parents had retired to a garden villa in the suburbs of City B. Knowing Bai Qian was busy, they were tactful enough not to disturb her often, though they privately worried about her marriage prospects. Hearing the keyword “we,” Mo Qingqing’s voice instantly brightened.

“Xiao Qian! Are you seeing someone? Are you bringing them home tomorrow? Oh, Mom understands! Don’t worry, as long as you like them, we’ll like them too! Your father is back—I have to go tell him the good news!”

Before Bai Qian could explain, her mother hung up in a state of high excitement.

“…”

Just then, Fu Siwan walked in carrying a plate of washed strawberries. Before she could sit down, Bai Qian was already pushing her toward her room.

“Pack your bags. We’re going to City B tomorrow. We’ll be there for about a week. Just bring a few changes of clothes; we can buy new toiletries there.”

“City B? Why are we going there?”

Bai Qian picked a strawberry from the plate and plucked the green stem. She had intended to eat it herself, but a sudden wave of physical aversion to the fruit hit her, so she simply pressed the plump berry into the girl’s mouth.

The delicate fruit bruised slightly under the pressure, staining the corner of the girl’s pink lips with juice. Bai Qian naturally wiped it away with her thumb, a light smile playing on her face. “I’m taking you home for the New Year.”

Bai Qian then retreated to her own room to pack. Fu Siwan stood dazed, staring at the doorway where the woman had vanished. The spot on her lip where she’d been touched felt like it was dancing with a prickly itch, leaving behind a trace like a flickering flame that burned straight into her chest.

She instinctively licked her lip. The moment she did, she snapped back to reality, her gaze frantic and lost. She grabbed another strawberry and shoved it into her mouth, the stem scraping her lip. Only then did her racing, disobedient heart feel like it had been doused with a bucket of cold water.

Don’t be crazy, she told herself. She’s ten years older than you.

******

Bai Qian didn’t actually know how to interact with parents. It wasn’t part of a Guardian’s required curriculum. Unlike other travelers returning for the holidays, she didn’t feel the urge to burst through the door the moment she arrived.

Instead, in a state of hidden awkwardness and detachment, she stood with Fu Siwan outside the closed door, hesitating to press the fingerprint scanner.

“Auntie, aren’t we going in?”

Fu Siwan hadn’t noticed the unease beneath Bai Qian’s calm exterior. After standing there for nearly five minutes, she finally spoke up.

Bai Qian knew she couldn’t delay any longer. Just as she was about to press her thumb to the scanner, the heavy door swung open from the inside. A refined woman with her hair swept up stood there, her eyes warm and watery as she called out, “You’re back? I was just about to come out and meet you.”

It was nearly 11:00 PM. Bai Qian had messaged her mother earlier from a rest stop, telling her not to wait up. But when it came to children returning home, no parent was ever truly “obedient.”

Hearing those words, Bai Qian felt a sudden, inexplicable lump in her throat. The feeling was strangely familiar, as if in some blank space in her memory, a gentle elder had once greeted her with the same concern.

Her awkwardness vanished instantly. Bai Qian beamed like a child who had been working hard all year and was finally home. “Mom, I’m back.”

Mo Qingqing blinked back a hint of emotion and looked warmly at the young girl standing beside her daughter. She immediately noticed their naturally interlaced hands. Just as she’d said on the phone, if Bai Qian liked her, she would too.

Though she was slightly surprised by the girl’s gender and her remarkably youthful appearance, she didn’t let it show. She greeted her with a smile. “I only found out yesterday that you and Xiao Qian were dating. I forgot to ask her your name. Little girl, what should I call you?”

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