I Came From Heaven [Transmigration/Time-Travel] - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I could imagine that just as I was curious about his outfit, he was naturally confused by mine. But at least I had finally met a living person; that was better than wandering alone in the mountains. So, I put on my most dazzling, sun-like smile, and my eyes cooperated by looking wide and innocent:

“I’m not a bad person, I’m lost. Where is this place? Could you please tell me?”

The questioning interrupted the ‘Air Conditioner’s’ scrutiny. He slightly frowned. His thin, tightly pursed lips finally opened after a long moment of silence. He’s so fair-skinned with red lips and white teeth; he doesn’t look like a man at all. Is he really a eunuch?

As I was privately indulging in a little internal criticism, he answered: “This is Hongzhou.”

“Huh? Hong… Zhou… What kind of state is that?”

Evidently, my question annoyed the man in front of me. A flash of displeasure crossed his eyes, and his tone became icily cold:

“Who are you? You don’t even know such a simple prefecture of the nation.”

Naturally, I wouldn’t back down. Who can’t put on a cool, aloof face? So, I yanked my backpack off and pulled down the zipper. The ‘Air Conditioner’ seemed to think I was pulling out some hidden weapon, and he defensively took a step back. I had intended to maintain a serious demeanor, but I couldn’t keep my cool for three seconds, and I burst out laughing: “What are you afraid of? Did you think I was pulling out a gun?”

“Gun?”

He repeated my pronunciation, questioning me. I had to shake my head: “You wouldn’t know even if I told you. Here, look at this.”

I took my ID card out of my wallet and thrust it in front of him. He looked at the object in my hand, eventually took it hesitantly, examined the front and back several times, and asked again: “What is this thing?”

I truly hit a new low in stupidity. Right, if he could read it, I’d be all set. But the problem is, he can’t. I snatched the ID back, pointed to the large characters, and read them one by one: “The People’s Republic of China. Name: Ji Sijie. Gender: Female…”

I recited almost all the information on the card, but the word ‘Doesn’t Understand’ was clearly written all over the ‘Air Conditioner’s’ face. I could only describe my mood at that moment with two actions: open palms and shrugged shoulders—utter helplessness.

Just as our communication came to a dead end, several burly men suddenly burst out and roughly slammed me onto the ground. I don’t know which jerk was the one shouting loudly: “You audacious traitor! How dare you—”

Before the man could finish his sentence, the ‘Air Conditioner’ waved his sleeve, not carrying away any clouds, but silencing the man restraining me, leaving his sentence incomplete. I wasn’t having it. Although I was being physically overpowered, I had to symbolically struggle and fight for my sovereignty: “You people are too reckless! The rule of law doesn’t allow this kind of disorder! I’m warning you, if you touch me again, I’m calling the police!”

I was mortified; I was truly shocked by my own limitless stupidity. That threat was as empty as a noisy fart! The ‘Air Conditioner’ squatted down, and a sarcastic smile actually curled up on his face: “What is a police? Is it very powerful?”

“It’s very powerful. It can shoot you dead with one shot.”

Evidently, my retort was a bit too much. The ‘Air Conditioner’s’ previously relaxed expression immediately turned icy again. He’s so good at cooling down; calling him an air conditioner isn’t even accurate anymore. He belongs in the freezer compartment of a refrigerator. I watched him stand up, use his hands to flick his robe toward my face—seemingly using the act of making me eat dirt to demonstrate his superior status.

He’s just a rich second generation with a few bodyguards! Look at how capable he thinks he is, just bullying an outsider like me. I kept my head down and remained silent. After calming down, I quickly searched my mind: What ancient period had a place called Hongzhou? Did it exist? No. Maybe? Yes? Ah, I don’t know anymore… History is so long; how can I remember everything?

I wouldn’t dare claim expertise in other areas, but I could brag about ancient history. From the pre-Spring and Autumn period to the Ming and Qing dynasties, I had memorized those thousands of years perfectly.

The ‘Air Conditioner’s’ guard sullenly released his grip. Like a small chick that had nearly been killed, I stretched my limbs, stood up, and brushed the dust off my pants. I approached him and asked in a low voice: “My lord, I have one more question. Could you clear up a confusion?”

The ‘Air Conditioner’ slightly raised an eyebrow, wearing an expression that conveyed, if you have more nonsense, ask quickly. I reached up and touched my nose: “Um, forgive my ignorance, but what country and dynasty is this?”

The moment I asked this, one of the burly men behind me slammed me back onto the ground. Seriously? You guys are addicted to pinning me down, aren’t you?

“Traitor! You dare not know the name of our Great Xuan nation? Do you admit your crime?”

“Ouch, ouch, ouch!”

Crying out in pain, my neck was pressed down forcefully. If they kept pushing, I would soon be eating a mouthful of fresh dirt.

The ‘Air Conditioner’ was wearing black satin boots embroidered with dragon patterns, which perfectly matched his black gauze cap. Hmm… I was too excited just now. Now that I’ve calmed down, I reconsidered. With the attendants and the impeccable attire, even though he looks like a weakling, aren’t the main bosses in these stories usually set up to look weak?

Wait, What? Great Xuan? What the heck is Great Xuan? It’s not in the history books! So, I transmigrated, and I transmigrated into a fictional dynasty? This setting is so ridiculous! Why don’t I just go to Heaven? Pulling my thoughts back, I had a flash of inspiration: “Distinguished heroes, noble gentlemen! I just arrived and genuinely have no idea about anything! I beg for mercy, I beg for mercy!”

“Release him.”

The ‘Air Conditioner’ granted a pardon again. I pushed aside the attendant’s arm, stretched my muscles again, and slung my backpack over my shoulder: “Uh, I apologize for my clumsy offense just now. It’s just that I’m completely unfamiliar with this place and truly don’t know what to do. May I ask where you, my lord, are heading? Could I follow you until we reach a populated area? I’ll leave on my own then.”

The ‘Air Conditioner’ did not immediately accept my request. His eyes fixed on one of the guards—that proud little gaze was simply masterful. I watched the guard respectfully walk up to him, place his hands on the ground, and kneel. The ‘Air Conditioner’ then promptly sat down on this human stool’s back.

As a child raised in a socialist country where equality and harmonious coexistence were preached, my expression watching this scene could only be described as dumbfounded. Yet, the ‘Air Conditioner’ looked entirely natural, and the ‘human stool’ looked entirely natural, too. Is this some S&M dynamic? They’re both enjoying it.

“My lord…”

I was startled when the ‘Air Conditioner’ suddenly addressed me as ‘my lord’ (公子 – gōngzǐ). I admit my hair is a bit short, and my attire is slightly neutral, but looking down at my chest—okay, my chest can only be described as Wangzai Little Steamed Buns—but my words and actions, deep down, still exude femininity! It shouldn’t be so hard to distinguish my gender.

Is he this blind? Besides, didn’t I just read the ID card? Gender: Female! Female! He’s not just blind; he must be deaf too! If given the chance, I could stand here and complain for a day and a night without stopping.

Seeing me distracted, the ‘Air Conditioner’ tightened his brow and spoke again: “My lord.”

“Huh?” I snapped back to reality and stared at him blankly. He changed his posture, spoke casually, and asked:

“I see that your attire suggests you are not a person of this country?”

“Yes, I am not a person of Great Xuan. I came from…” I was about to say the mighty name of my beloved motherland again, but what finally slipped out was: “I came from Celestial/Heavenly Dynasty!” (天/朝 – Tiān/cháo is often used as a euphemism for China).