I Became the Rich Family’s Stepfather and Couldn’t Stop Laughing - Chapter 1

“Ling-za, are you really not coming?” my dorm mate asked, poking his head back in to confirm one last time before heading out.

The young man named Xi Ling looked up and flashed a bright, sunny smile that felt completely out of place in the shabby worker dormitory. He shook his head at the door and reached over to flip the switch on the electric kettle. “You guys have fun, and remember to wear your masks!”

The flimsy door was pulled shut from the outside. He could faintly hear his coworkers laughing and chatting as they walked away: “Xi Ling is really a changed man now. You’d never guess he almost threw his life away a couple of years ago.”

“Well, you know what they say, a brush with death really brings a man to his senses!”

Their voices faded into the distance. After the kettle boiled and rattled a few times, the switch clicked off, and the dormitory fell back into silence.

Today was December 31st. Nearly all the workers in the dormitory building had left; some had taken their pay and headed home early for the New Year, while others had gathered in groups of three or five to find a teahouse and spend New Year’s Eve together.

Aside from the unlucky few who had caught the virus and were stuck in the dorm to recover, there was only Xi Ling a hardworking, blood-and-guts laborer too stingy to spend money and too afraid of catching the virus to risk losing out on wages.

Xi Ling soaked his slightly swollen left hand in hot water, easing the itching caused by his chilblains.

In the winter, getting chilblains on a construction site was almost unavoidable. If they got bad enough, they didn’t just swell and itch they could fester, which really hindered his work. So, every night before bed, he’d soak his hands in a small basin to prevent them from worsening.

The plastic basin also doubled as his food bowl, and since it wasn’t very big, he could only soak one hand at a time. Xi Ling swapped hands while scrolling through his phone to kill time.

While soaking his left hand, he used his right to deftly log into his online banking and send the 60,000 yuan he’d scraped together from between his teeth to his sister’s account. He simply wrote “Repayment” in the transfer notes.

They say a gambling addict is never to be trusted; once you get hooked, you can never quit. Otherwise, his sister, who had worked so hard to raise him wouldn’t have cut ties with him completely.

His brother-in-law had said that if his sister played the “little brother-subsidizing monster” card again, he would divorce her. Xi Ling didn’t want to drag down the only relative he had left. He was terrified that one day, he would suddenly regain the memories from before the car accident and turn back into that trash who only knew how to gamble.

After losing his memory, he couldn’t understand his former self at all. Were cards and mahjong really that fun?

His biggest hobby now was saving money. It was a pity his abilities were limited; he’d been working non-stop with the foreman for nearly two years just to barely pay his sister back. Now, his account balance was cleaner than his own fair face.

Doing manual labor on a construction site paid okay, but in a sense, it was a “youth job.” When he got older, his earnings wouldn’t even cover the hospital bills. But he hadn’t even finished high school, so for now, he could only lay bricks… Xi Ling was planning to save a bit more money to take an adult education course.

His phone “buzzed,” interrupting Xi Ling’s thoughts. It was a notification from the telecom company reminding him that his data was running low, helpfully recommending he sign up for a “10-yuan special data package” for the end of the month. As a poor soul who couldn’t even afford to add an egg to his instant noodles, Xi Ling naturally couldn’t bear to spend the money, and he turned off the screen without a second thought.

But it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet, and Xi Ling couldn’t fall asleep. With only 3MB of data left, he opened a reading app.

There was no helping it; any other video app would be a form of torture his soul couldn’t bear.

Xi Ling clicked on a book at random. Unexpectedly, his eyelids grew heavy, and before long, his head slumped onto the pillow. The reading app on his phone kept turning pages automatically.

He was reading about a “cannon fodder” character with the same name and surname as him. His drowsy brain couldn’t manage to think, and the text seemed to have grown wings, burrowing straight into his eyes…

【”What kind of ‘proper’ person goes out of their way to become a stepfather?”】

【”Maybe they just didn’t expect the CEO to be so heartless. Married for two years and he never came home once. As for the doors of the old Huo family manor, he probably didn’t even know which way they faced. It was clear as day: the life-saving favor was only ever going to be exchanged for a nominal wealthy marriage. Tsk tsk, think about it.”】

【”If it were me, I’d just take the money. Why bother fighting for the title of ‘Mrs. Huo’? Becoming a stepfather to an illegitimate child… showing off his affection for two years only to find his phone number blocked. Hilarious. The humiliation is astronomical—not even moving to another planet could save his reputation…”】

Xi Ling couldn’t hold on and completely passed out. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but in his muddled state, his head split with pain. His body fluctuated between hot and cold, and his throat tightened. He was so terrified he instantly snapped awake.

He didn’t catch the virus, did he?!

No way!!!

He had to take advantage of the year-end pay hike when all the “little陽人” (virus-positive people) were out to make more money! How could he just collapse like this?!

Xi Ling didn’t even have time to think about where to get fever reducers; his mind was entirely occupied by how to survive without losing wages. After all, for someone like him who struggled on the poverty line, poverty was far more terrifying than illness.

“Madam? Madam?!”

A sharp female voice broke into Xi Ling’s chaotic brain, followed by countless voices chattering in his ears: “Madam, can you hear me?!”

“…”

Xi Ling struggled to open his eyes. Four middle-aged women’s faces were pressed extremely close to his, staring straight at him, looking exactly like the “Are you awake?” meme from Journey to the West.

Xi Ling: !!!

He was so shocked he couldn’t catch his breath and began to cough violently.

The auntie closest to him grabbed him and hauled him up like a chick, her thick, powerful palm slapping his back pa-pa-pa, shouting with great vigor while she slapped: “Madam——!”

Xi Ling barely managed to wave his hand, weak and breathless: “Stop hitting me.”

He’d had one breath left, but another slap would have sent him straight to the afterlife.

The “Hercules” auntie stopped in time. Xi Ling finally felt his life was preserved. He lifted his eyelids, peering past the rows of auntie heads to notice the strange, golden, and magnificent surroundings.

It was clearly not something someone from his low-level worker status could ever encounter…

Great! So I didn’t catch the virus, I transmigrated!

Wait, no! What is this? I actually transmigrated?!

Xi Ling’s head was still spinning. The four aunties were still muttering around him. In the chaos, Xi Ling quickly reached down to verify his gender as this “Madam.” Thank goodness, the “brothers” were still there.

Immediately afterward, he noticed his long, fair hands lacked even a single trace of swelling, let alone the rough, yellow, ugly calluses. The skin on his palms was ridiculously soft and smooth even a fly would do the splits if it landed there.

As if by some telepathic connection, Xi Ling instantly recalled the strange experience before he fell asleep, as well as the dog-blood novel that had been forcefully crammed into his brain about a wealthy stepfather with his same name…

Xi Ling blurted out: “Xing… Xing… Mian? Huo Xingmian!”

“The young master has been taken to sleep by Nanny Tian. Does Madam want the young master to come over?” The nanny at his side frowned, thinking this “second-wife” was about to start tormenting the child again.

Although the nannies addressed him as “Madam,” they had zero affection for this male wife who had forced his way into the Huo family; they were merely being respectful to keep their jobs.

Hearing Xi Ling call the young master’s name, another nanny with darker skin habitually shielded the child: “Doctor White will be here soon. You should check your physical condition first…”

The astonishment in Xi Ling’s eyes gradually turned into ecstatic joy. Doctor White! It matched the book’s plot perfectly!

Xi Ling lowered his head swiftly, afraid his scorching gaze would bore through the nanny beside him. He couldn’t resist pulling out his phone to quickly check the balance of his digital account. A long string of numbers nearly dazzled his eyes. He really had transmigrated into a wealthy stepfather!

Although this wealthy stepfather was a vicious cannon fodder with a miserable ending, that wouldn’t happen for over a dozen years, until the “cheap” son grew up! For now, he was just an ordinary, wealthy man!!!

Xi Ling was afraid it was all fake, so he pinched himself hard.

“Sssss—” The pain made his tears stream out.

These… are tears of happiness!

When the blonde-haired, blue-eyed family doctor walked in, he saw Xi Ling trying to suppress his laughter until his face turned red. Thinking he was running a high fever, he immediately quickened his pace and had his assistant take out a digital ear thermometer.

Based on the dialogue between the nannies and the doctor, as well as the plot of the book, Xi Ling quickly inferred his current situation.

The original owner of the body had used his status as the Huo family’s male wife to show off his affection on a variety show. But during a game segment, calling his husband resulted in a blocked number, leaving him humiliated on national television. Upon returning home, he threw a tantrum.

As the saying goes: no zuo no die. The original owner, drunk and daring to take a bath, had lost his footing in the massive, deep luxury tub and passed away on the spot.

Xi Ling looked at the hot water the “Hercules” nanny handed him and shook his head like a rattle-drum. He could still taste the body wash from his previous “hiccups,” and this body must have drunk plenty of “hot water” before.

Supporting his dizzy head, he spoke weakly: “I’m fine now, you all can leave.”

The nannies wore dutiful expressions of concern, but their walking speeds were faster than a competitive walker. The luxurious, palace-like bedroom was soon left with only Xi Ling.

Xi Ling’s pale lips curled into a grin that looked like it wanted to stretch all the way to his ears.

He pressed the phone showing his balance against his chest, rolling happily on the giant king-sized bed: “I’m rich! I’m rich! Hahahahahaha cough, cough, cough!!!”

Xi Ling was so ecstatic he almost tore the sheets. However, since the body had been drinking alcohol and gulping water before, his bladder reacted after a few rolls. He had to prop up his weak body, trailing his hand along the magnificent walls to find the bathroom.

The bathroom decor was equally golden and brilliant; every intricate tile reflected a light that screamed, “I am very expensive,” almost blinding Xi Ling’s eyes.

Even though he knew his fate was miserable, Xi Ling a bottom-level worker who had been so poor he was nearly pissing blood suddenly struck it rich overnight… he really couldn’t squeeze out a single drop of sadness or melancholy.

He poked and prodded like a country bumpkin, drooling every now and then, until he reached the floor-length mirror and remembered to examine his new body.

Then he was surprised to find that he not only shared the same name as the person in the book, but he also had a similar face.

Although the person in the mirror was pale, his features were clearly more exquisite than his previous body, and his eyes held a kind of agility and clarity untouched by the secular world. The only thing was that the exaggerated arc of his mouth really did ruin the perfection of his skin.

Facing this upgraded version of his face, Xi Ling should have felt a bit strange, but strangely enough, he adapted to it even faster than when he woke up from his car accident two years ago, instantly accepting everything new.

Xi Ling shamelessly attributed it to the power of money. He couldn’t be more adapted! Hehehe!

Even though this body had just “died” once, Xi Ling, panting three times every step, still insisted on feeling every inch of the luxury suite…

This handmade lambskin sofa clearly wasn’t like the cheap patched-leather ones at his boss’s house it didn’t hurt his butt at all!

Damn, was the crystal chandelier encrusted with real diamonds? Such flair!

When Xi Ling crawled back to the bed, gasping for air, he didn’t forget to leave a small tooth mark on the bedpost to confirm it was pure gold.

The aesthetic of the bedroom decor was a bit “nouveau riche,” but all the gold and jade piled up made Xi Ling feel the wealth he had now even more intuitively.

Although his body was very weak and exhausted, Xi Ling couldn’t bear to fall asleep, afraid that if he closed his eyes and opened them again, he’d be back to being a miserable poor wretch who couldn’t even afford an egg for his instant noodles.

After all, he got to live in a top-tier manor, he had an infinite black card, and his wealthy husband never came home… He had never even dreamed of a life this awesome Hahahahaha!!!

In the end, Xi Ling couldn’t hold on and fell asleep.

The joyous grin hung on his face all night, and when he woke up the next day, his facial muscles were sore.

Xi Ling massaged his face, thinking that he had finally tasted a bit of the “hardship” of being rich.

Thinking of this, he couldn’t help but laugh again: “Hehehehe~ Heeheeheehee~”

It wasn’t until the nanny knocked on the door to invite him for a meal that Xi Ling remembered there was a child-stage villain in the manor.

Come to think of it, this Huo Xingmian could be considered a classic “beautiful, strong, and miserable” villain. The original owner thought he was his husband’s illegitimate child and secretly abused him in various ways to vent his anger. Later, dissatisfied that his husband’s inheritance had gone to someone else, he designed a kidnapping case, causing the child to have his legs crushed by the kidnappers.

After the child became physically disabled, his spirit became increasingly twisted, until he completely blackened into a violent villain.

From childhood abuse to persecution by kidnapping, Huo Xingmian took revenge on the original owner first thing when he grew up. At that time, the original owner had become addicted to gambling, so Huo Xingmian used a borrowed knife to kill him…

Thinking of the cruel description in the original text, Xi Ling felt a chill for a moment, but then he thought that the other party was currently just a toddler who had just turned three, and the stifling air in his throat slowly dissipated.

Not a big problem.

The original owner got what was coming to him, but he wasn’t the kind of pervert who liked to abuse children; he just wanted to be a rich man with a happy index off the charts.

Even if the other party became a “bear child,” he could just stay far away. After all, the house his “cheap” husband provided was soooooo big.

As soon as he thought about living in such a dreamy luxury manor, Xi Ling couldn’t help but raise the corners of his mouth; he felt as if he were floating on air, walking on cotton.

Xi Ling “floated” outside the dining room, just pondering how to “stay together for a lifetime” with his wealthy life, when he heard an old woman’s voice rise lightly: “Young Master, you are wasting food again.”

The old woman was kind-faced and gentle, and it sounded like a soft reminder, but the little boy at the dining table turned pale with fright in an instant.

Last week, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from spitting out cilantro, and he had been thrown into a pitch-black ancestral hall to kneel for an entire night. This was just a minor form of punishment the other party used to curry favor with his stepfather.

Thinking of those cruel and varied methods of torture, the thin, tiny child gritted his teeth, but tears still fell: “I’m, I’m sorry, I, I didn’t mean it…”