I Became the Heroine’s Stand-in - Chapter 85

“I really must be going now. I have a feeling the attendants are desperately looking for me.”

With those words, he nonchalantly rose onto his toes, as if nothing had happened. He gave a light wave, picked up the book he had left on the bench, and departed at a leisurely pace.

She watched as he grew smaller in the distance, eventually becoming just a dot against the setting sun. A faint smile tugged at her lips as she stared at the dark speck silhouetted against the sunset.

I like this.

What was ordinary for others felt deeply special to Diana. Being with him made each day feel extraordinary.

And so—she liked it.

“Madam, may I come in? I’ve come to assist you with your attire.”

“…Ah! Yes, you may enter.”

The maidservant’s polite request came through the firmly closed door.

Diana reached out toward the window to close it.

At that very moment, a maple leaf drifted down from the sky—perfect timing.

Perhaps it was because she recalled an old Imperial superstition: catching a falling maple leaf means your wish will come true. Impulsively, she extended her arm further.

Beyond her hand, which had now caught the leaf, she could see her pale arm stark against the fiery sky, now ablaze with the colors of sunset.

As she gazed absentmindedly at the view, she heard the sound of someone approaching behind her.

“Madam?”

Concerned by her stillness, the maidservant stepped closer.

Startled, Diana quickly turned to face forward. The maid looked at her closely, then asked in a worried tone,

“Is the room too warm for you? You look a bit flushed.”

“…Flushed?”

“Your face is slightly red, Madam.”

Puzzled by the maid’s remark, Diana walked over to the mirror to see for herself.

Just as the maid had said, her face was indeed red. Feeling a strange heat, she lightly pressed her fingertips to her cheek—it was warm.

But the window had been open, so it couldn’t possibly be from the heat.

Trying to figure out the reason, Diana eventually covered her face with both hands and rubbed it repeatedly in embarrassment.

Her heart had only now fully caught up with her.

She was blushing—visibly so.

What if Ersivan discovered how she felt?

The maid then politely reminded her of the upcoming dinner banquet.

“The other maids will be up shortly to assist you with your dressing. I’ll see you again soon, Madam.”

With that, the maid left, closing the door quietly behind her.

Diana sat before the vanity. When she opened her hand, she saw the slightly crumpled maple leaf she had caught.

“Your face is slightly red, Madam.”

That comment echoed in her mind again as she stared at the red leaf. Then, Ersivan’s ears, which had been just as red as her face, came to mind.

She had noticed it while catching the leaf—the sunset didn’t cast color deep enough to tint someone’s skin.

So then, why had his ears been so red?

…He must’ve been hot, that’s all.

There’s no way Ersivan Valencia could’ve blushed for the same reason as Diana.

***

Preparations for the evening banquet began. Since it was the first night, the attendants seemed determined to dress her especially grandly, and many gathered to assist.

“Madam, your complexion has truly improved.”

One of the maids styling her hair spoke up. Thinking it was flattery, Diana gave a small smile, but another chimed in earnestly, agreeing wholeheartedly.

As Diana observed herself in the mirror, she tilted her head in confusion.

She looked exactly the same as ever.

“How should I put it? Your aura has changed!”

“Right? I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed. You’re completely different from when you lived at the manor.”

Come to think of it, Melinne had said something similar.

“You’ve matured quite a bit since I last saw you. That kind of talk makes me feel old.”

She recalled Melinne’s playful words, though light-hearted, they had sent a chill down Diana’s spine.

Diana glanced sidelong at the maids. Their innocent, sincere eyes reassured her—they didn’t seem to suspect her identity.

Turning back to the mirror, she cautiously asked,

“Do I look… worse?”

“Of course not! You’re still as beautiful as ever. It’s just that you’ve become more composed, Madam.”

“Exactly! They say a role shapes the person, right? Before, you were charming like a young lady, but now, you’ve become elegant—perfectly befitting a duchess!”

Their compliments poured forth, hands waving in emphasis. Despite the overwhelming praise, Diana showed no discomfort.

After all, she had planned for this.

Though she constantly feared her lies might be exposed, she had also accepted the risk.

They wouldn’t suspect Diana’s true identity just because Lillian seemed a little different from how they remembered her.

Still, unforeseen incidents tend to strike without warning. Therefore, any potential seeds of doubt had to be removed before they could sprout.

To do so, she needed people to naturally believe,
“Lillian’s personality changed because her environment changed—because her social standing is different now.”

“I feel a bit shy hearing you all say that, but at the same time, I’m happy. I suppose it means I’ve grown.”

Smiling brightly as she thanked them, Diana looked nothing short of adorable.

One of the maids, seemingly captivated by her, stared blankly before murmuring softly,

“If my aunt could see you now… she would have been so happy.”

“…”

“As you know, my aunt adored you, Madam.”

Her satisfaction from having achieved her plan lasted only a moment—those words hit her like a dagger. Diana felt herself shrinking, as if she had committed a grave sin.

The maid who had spoken was the niece of the nanny who had cared for Lillian for over ten years.

“…So, you’re the maid who took over after the nanny left.”

Now that Lillian had come of age and left the manor, her nanny had returned to her family home. Diana had heard that her niece had come in her place, brought in with a letter of recommendation.

“My aunt used to talk about you so much, Madam.”

“Is that so?”

“Now that I’ve seen you in person, I understand why she praised you so endlessly!”

Her discomfort in the Count’s residence stemmed mostly from the Count and Countess themselves—but this was no less grating.

It unsettled her deeply to face people who had known the real Lillian Mernard.

She hated that their love for Lillian might be transferred to her—just because she wore the same shell.

It felt as though she had coveted something she never should have touched. As if she were staring at her own greed. Even if it wasn’t something she had ever asked for—even if this attention wasn’t of her own making.

“My lady. It’s alright, even if your memory is gone. Even if you’ve forgotten everything I taught you—even if you’ve grown clumsy, that’s okay. I can teach you again. If you stay where love reaches you, perhaps your memories will slowly return.”

Having once loved someone herself, Diana understood how pure and sacred that kind of love could be.

And so, each time they spoke kind words to her, each time they gazed at her with eyes full of affection and admiration, her guilt grew heavier.

It was no different now.

Already, Diana missed Valencia. That place where someone had seen her—not Lillian—but her true self.

“Yes. The nanny cherished me very much. I was always grateful… to the point where I sometimes felt guilty.”

Her voice lacked its usual energy. Silence filled the room, and the air turned awkward.

Diana, who had lowered her eyes, suddenly looked up and hurried to lighten the mood.

“It’s just! I suppose being here at the duke’s estate, where no one dotes on me like she did, made me realize how precious she truly was!”

She winked playfully and smiled—an expression she had learned from watching Lillian, and one she often used.

As soon as she put on Lillian’s face, the mood in the room quickly brightened. The maids let out relieved sighs and began chatting again.

Indeed, this place was uncomfortable. It felt as if it was trying to drag her—Diana, who had been slowly reclaiming her identity—back into the cold, harsh reality.

She declined the maid’s offer to accompany her and walked the hall alone.

Through the windows, she saw many things. Things she hadn’t noticed while riding in the carriage with Ersivan. Only now, walking alone, did they catch her attention.

A large lily garden occupying a corner of the estate.

A statue carved in celebration of Lillian’s sixteenth birthday, with Lillian as its model.

A sign with uneven, childish handwriting.

All things that once made her long for someone who no longer lived here.

As she gazed at them, she remembered how she had once secretly wished to be loved like that too.

“And now?”

Diana suddenly stopped walking. She stood frozen in place, staring blankly ahead.

“Now…”

To her surprise, her desire to be loved had vanished. Even the instinctual longing to be reassured of love from time to time had faded.

“…All I want now…”

Still, if there was one thing that hadn’t changed— “I want to live as Diana Valencia.”

She wanted to remain in that place—the place she would eventually have to leave.

But not as Lillian as Diana.

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