I Became the Heroine’s Stand-in - Chapter 68

As expected, Diana hesitated.

She was reluctant to speak, unable to bring herself to voice what was on her mind.

To get her to open up, he needed to create a comfortable environment.

So, Ersivan made a decision.

“I swear upon the name of Valencia,” he declared solemnly. “Diana, I will protect you unconditionally. I will not hesitate to endure financial loss or risk my reputation if it means keeping you safe.”

He paused for a brief moment, inhaling deeply before continuing in a stronger voice.

“So now, Diann… you must tell me. Why are you so afraid of death?”

It was something that had been pushed aside time and time again, avoided until now.

But they had reached the point where it could no longer be ignored.

“…I found out that my father intends to have me killed,” Diana admitted.

The words barely made it past her lips.

“And the reason… is simple.”

“…”

“…Because I have lost my usefulness to him. I am no longer needed.”

Her trembling fingers clutched at the thin fabric of her dress.

Beneath the folds of fabric, her slender wrists and ankles quivered like fragile branches caught in a storm.

Thinking about it had been one thing.

Saying it out loud was an entirely different matter.

It was as if she had walked herself to the edge of a cliff, only to be shoved off without warning.

The image of herself plummeting to her death—without even the time to feel betrayal—flashed vividly in her mind.

Her vision blurred, and for a moment, the world around her wavered.

She gasped for breath, like a fish pulled from water, struggling to breathe.

“Are you alright?”

“…Ah, yes. I… I think I’m fine now.”

Ersivan had already rushed to her side, steadying her before her panic could consume her.

Diana clutched her chest, waiting for her breath to even out.

He did not speak again until he was certain she had calmed.

His voice, when it came, was resolute.

“As long as you remain in the Valencia estate, that will never happen.”

He was not simply making a promise—he was declaring an absolute truth.

“I will make sure of it.”

It was a perfect vow, one that carried the weight of unshakable conviction.

“…But what if it happens after I am no longer here?”

Her words sent a chill down his spine.

The implication of her statement was clear.

She wasn’t just talking about leaving the estate.

She was talking about no longer being his wife.

She was speaking of the future—the one she had always known was meant to come.

The moment when Lilian would return and take her place.

“I’ll strengthen security,” he said immediately. “Wherever you go, I will go with you. And if I cannot accompany you, I will assign a knightly order to—”

“Evan.”

Diana’s voice cut through his words.

“What I mean is… what if I am no longer the Duchess of Valencia?”

He froze.

“…No longer the Duchess?”

She could not bring herself to say the words aloud.

She couldn’t bear to tell him the truth—that Lilian was coming.

That his Lilian would return.

And she feared…

What if he is relieved when he hears it?

“…Just,” she whispered, “just let it be for now.”

“No, Diann.”

His voice was firm.

“There is no ‘for now.’ I will not allow that to happen. Unless…” His voice wavered slightly. “Unless you… want to leave.”

There was fear in his tone.

He did not want to believe it, but her words made it impossible not to question.

Diana’s eyes widened in alarm, and she frantically shook her head.

“No! That’s not it at all!”

Ersivan exhaled sharply, as if the breath he had been holding finally escaped.

“I don’t know everything you’ve been through,” he admitted. “I don’t know what haunts you.”

His fingers curled into a fist as he gathered his resolve.

“But I can swear to you this.”

“…?”

“You will not leave Valencia.”

Unless you want to, he had said.

But in his mind, even if she did want to, he wasn’t sure he could ever let her go.

Diana’s lips parted slightly.

“…You won’t let me leave?”

There was a trace of confusion in her voice.

“…Why?”

The answer should have been obvious.

Ersivan had already shown her time and time again.

But still, she did not understand.

Did not dare to believe.

He reached out, smoothing the stray strands of her hair behind her ear.

The cold touch of his fingers made her flinch ever so slightly.

“For the same reason I saved you.”

“…?”

“Because you are strong, yet vulnerable. Because your hair, when it catches the light, reminds me of something precious. Because you, like me, love lavender.”

The corners of his lips lifted into a soft smile.

It was so breathtakingly beautiful, so disarming, that for a moment, she forgot the words he had just spoken.

His face alone was enough to erase them.

“…Then tell me,” she murmured, forcing herself back to the conversation.

She needed to find a reason. A logical, rational reason.

“If that’s true, what do you gain from it?”

Diana was skilled at deflecting.

Even now, she avoided the heart of the matter by steering the conversation elsewhere.

Despite the fact that this was about her, she tried to frame it as a transaction.

It was a habit born from fear.

Because if kindness did not come with an explicit reason, then it could be taken away at any moment.

She feared a future where he would turn on her.

A future where Ersivan would abandon her after all.

So she needed to know.

What was his reason?

What did he gain from keeping her?

“I need you,” he said simply.

“Valencia needs you.”

“…Me?”

She looked at him warily, as if his words were nothing more than an elaborate ruse.

“Diann.”

His voice was steady.

“Do not ignore the changes you have brought to this place.”

“You have strengthened the Valencia name. You have brought peace to the estate.”

She had changed his life.

More than she realized.

More than she wanted to realize.

Even the monster subjugation campaign had been a turning point, elevating Valencia’s prestige to new heights.

And it was because of her.

Diana could not deny it.

Even so, she still felt… hollow.

Like an empty vessel that would take a long time to fill.

Ersivan’s hand clenched into a fist.

He seemed to hesitate.

Then, after a moment of struggle, he spoke.

“…I love you.”

The words were barely above a whisper.

A stray lock of her hair swayed in the air, frozen in place as if time itself had stopped.

And then— Her head snapped up, her eyes wide in shock.

It felt as if all her senses had disappeared, save for sight.

With all else fading into the background, Diana focused solely on the flickering red irises before her.

“All of Valencia loves you.”

Ah.

She had misunderstood.

Shame flushed through her, and Diana instinctively raised a hand to her lips, half-covering her face to conceal the sudden heat rising to her cheeks.

Of course, she should have known.

A man as noble as him could never harbor such feelings for someone as insignificant as her.

“You seem completely unaware of it.”

Ersivan’s voice held no disappointment, only quiet understanding.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter whether you know the feelings of the family. But not understanding their meaning… that is a little more disheartening.”

“I’m not saying I don’t understand love,” Diana murmured.

“What I mean is, I don’t deserve it. I’ve done nothing for the family, nothing that would make me worthy of such affection.”

“Diann.”

His tone was soft, yet unyielding.

“Human emotions are fragile and foolish. Even if you were to simply sit here and breathe, love would still find its way to you.”

His amber-tinted lashes lowered slightly, half-lidding his gaze, casting an illusion of tender warmth.

“…Love moves?”

Yes.

Love was not a transaction, nor a reward.

Diana knew that better than anyone.

Had she not spent her life yearning for love from a mother and father who had never once offered it in return?

Had she not held onto that love, even when they gave her nothing but silence and neglect?

And even now, standing beside Ersivan—someone she had once seen only as a distant figure—had she not already found a place for him in her heart?

“All of Valencia needs you,” he said.

A lifelong belief, one she had carried deep inside, was suddenly shattered.

She had lived convinced that she would never be needed, never truly belong anywhere.

But now, he was telling her otherwise.

That Valencia—one of the most noble and powerful families—held something so precious for her?

No.

This was simply a beautifully woven lie, a desperate attempt to romanticize reality.

They were just trying to justify their own selfishness.

This was nothing more than the words of someone too naïve to understand the weight of language.

“…Evan.”

Her voice trembled.

“How can you say that, knowing the truth about who I really am?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, unfazed.

“I, and all of Valencia, would still feel the same.”

“….”

“Whether you are Diana or Lilian—what difference does it make?”

His voice was unwavering.

“What matters is that you are the one who has been by my side. That you are the one I spend my days with. That you stay by my side.”

Why…

Why is he saying exactly what I wanted to hear?

Diana could not understand why fate kept placing Ersivan before her, offering salvation every time she needed it most.

At the same time, she realized—perhaps it was inevitable that she had begun to develop these emotions toward him.

“You’re saying that I matter?”

“….”

“That it wouldn’t make a difference even if I weren’t my sister?”

No.

Don’t believe him. You know you’ll only end up hurt again.

A voice rang in her head.

Not the spirit’s.

Not Ersivan’s.

It was her own.

The voice of reason.

The voice that had spent years teaching her that hope was a dangerous thing.

She inhaled sharply, tilting her head up to meet his gaze again.

His eyes held nothing but sincerity.

He nodded.

Just once.

Just once, she thought.

Can’t I allow myself to believe it, just this once?

It was another part of her speaking now—one she had long buried.

The part of her that had once believed in her father and mother.

The part of her that had once been pure, before the world had broken her.

The future was uncertain.

She could not say whether things would turn out differently this time.

But she also could not say that they would not.

Both possibilities were unknown.

And if both were unknown…

“If that is truly how you feel… if that is truly what Valencia feels… then…”

She inhaled.

The moment had come.

A turning point.

A crossroad she had long refused to step toward.

“Then save me.”

Finally, Diana surrendered.

At last, she understood what had been hidden deep within her.

She had spent her life despising herself.

Loathing the version of herself that had to fight for every moment of survival.

That had to analyze every word, every gesture, every glance, searching for hidden meanings just to stay alive.

She hated Diana Valencia.

She hated the version of herself that had rotted inside, decayed by fear and self-doubt.

A person who had survived, but had never truly lived.

“…No. Save me, Evan.”

She no longer wanted to cling to her past self.

She no longer wanted to remain bound by the past and its stories.

Diana Mernard had been forced to become Diana Valencia.

Now, she had to become herself.

To live a life not dictated by her past or the original fate of this world.

And to do that—

She needed him.

She wanted to believe in him.

She wanted to believe in this world.

She wanted to believe that just this once, she could love Ersivan Valencia, and be loved in return.