How Did the Female Lead in the Angst Novel Become My Ex-Wife’s Sister? - Chapter 15

Cen Juexing felt stifled, she felt helpless, but she knew her elder sister was right. In the end, all she could do was sigh in defeat.

“Fine, fine! I pushed her!” She kicked at a pebble, twisting her sleeve back and forth. “But Sister, I really didn’t mean to.” Her anger flared up again as she thought about it, and she looked up sharply. “It’s her fault for intentionally provoking me! When I pushed her in, she was actually laughing! She’s a lunatic!”

She pointed a finger toward the closed door.

Cen Xianyue said nothing, simply staring at her with an icy, unwavering gaze.

It was blindingly obvious that Xianyue was furious. Juexing realized the severity of the situation, but the word “sorry” refused to cross her lips. Instead, she pouted, stubbornly trying to defend herself. “Besides, I already called a doctor to treat her. You have no idea how much money I spent on that! Look, she didn’t die, so let’s just call it even, alright?”

Xianyue’s voice was cold enough to frost the air. “Did you not hear the doctor just now? He said the incident left her with a permanent weakness. Her health will never be what it once was.”

Juexing choked on her words. “That… even so…”

She still felt wronged. Yes, she had pushed Linlang into the lake in the dead of winter, during the very first snowfall, the coldest time in the capital, but if Pei Linlang hadn’t provoked her, she wouldn’t have been so bored as to do such a thing. And after the push, she was the one who called the doctor, she was the one who ordered the servants to brew the medicine, and… wait!

“And I even stole—” Juexing cut herself off, her eyes darting around guiltily.

“Stole what?” Xianyue prompted, her tone sharpening.

“Nothing! I just mean… I took care of her!” Juexing huffed, though her face flushed a guilty red. She couldn’t very well admit she had sneaked into her mother’s private stash to take the rare spirit-ginseng just to make sure the “wild seed” didn’t actually kick the bucket on her watch.

****

Inside the room, Linlang sat up slowly, the conversation outside filtering through the thin walls.

The “lake incident” from the original plot. In the book, this was the turning point where the original Linlang’s health began its downward spiral, eventually leading to the desperate, sickly state that made her even more clingy and erratic.

But what caught Linlang’s attention wasn’t the physical toll. It was Juexing’s comment: “When I pushed her in, she was actually laughing.”

A chilling thought crossed Linlang’s mind. Was the original Pei Linlang so desperate for Cen Xianyue’s attention that she wanted to be hurt? Did she goad Juexing into pushing her just so she could be rescued or cared for by the person she loved?

The door creaked open.

Cen Xianyue walked in, her expression softening the moment her eyes landed on Linlang. She sat by the bedside, her hand reaching out to check Linlang’s forehead.

“You’re awake,” Xianyue whispered. “Does it still hurt?”

Linlang looked at her, at this woman who was “good” to the point of tragedy. In her memories, Xianyue was the sister who peeled chestnuts until her fingers bled. In the present, she was the woman who stayed by her side despite the scandal and the cold.

“Sister,” Linlang said, her voice raspy.

Xianyue paused, her fingers lingering on Linlang’s temple. “I’m here.”

“Why are you so good to me?” Linlang asked, the question slipping out before she could stop it. “Even when I’m a burden, even when everyone else hates me… why do you still hold my hand?”

Xianyue’s gaze flickered, a complex emotion dancing in her phoenix eyes—guilt, perhaps, or something far more “lingering” and “tender” than simple sibling affection.

“Because,” Xianyue said softly, leaning in until their foreheads almost touched, “you are the only one who ever asked me to be their sister, and not their servant.”

“Elder Sister, I’m keeping her secret for her! Doesn’t that count as making things even?” Cen Juexing’s eyes sparkled with pride. “I even paid the doctor an extra ten taels to keep his mouth shut. It’s a massive favor!”

Cen Xianyue looked at her with a heavy, serious expression.

She knew her younger sister wasn’t “evil” in the traditional sense, but Juexing was born into high nobility. In Juexing’s eyes, Linlang’s life didn’t truly count as a life. If Xianyue didn’t care for her, Linlang could die today and be buried in the back garden without a second thought. Perhaps, if Xianyue weren’t her sister, her own life wouldn’t mean much to Juexing either.

“Enough. There is no use in arguing. She lives here with me now and won’t cross your path. You don’t need to chase her down to debate right and wrong. It only puts me in a difficult position.”

Xianyue didn’t want to continue. She turned to go back inside and see if Linlang had woken up, but Juexing grabbed her arm.

“Sister, I truly don’t understand. Why do you always favor her? She’s just a—” Juexing bit her lip in frustration. “I used to think it was because she was a man and you had feelings for her. But now I see that isn’t it. Sister, we are both your sisters, and I am the one related to you by blood.”

Juexing had her own pride. She was used to getting whatever she wanted with a snap of her fingers; this was the first time in years she had voiced such a grievance.

Xianyue understood, but years had passed, and a lack of closeness couldn’t be forced. In her heart, she and Linlang had grown up depending on each other for survival. But she couldn’t say that, or Juexing would never let it go.

Xianyue pulled her hand back and softened her tone. “Juexing, when you were small, I cared for you. Now that you are grown, we spend time together. What have I ever given Linlang that I haven’t given you? If it’s that cloak you want, take it.”

“As for the clothes… I made them for Linlang because she has nothing. You have a wardrobe full of silk; do you really need me to sew for you?”

Juexing was silenced. Her mother had always told her to have a sense of proportion: if someone yields a step, take the benefit and stop, or you’ll only make things worse.

“Fine.”

But her heart felt hollow, a void that no amount of material gifts could fill.

Xianyue saw her finally nod. At that moment, Yunxiu arrived with the decoction. Xianyue took the bowl and instructed, “It’s freezing out. Go fetch that feather-satin cloak and wrap it around the Second Miss.”

Yunxiu, ever the shrewd observer, understood the play instantly. She looked at her Mistress, then at the “Second Miss,” and curled her lip in a joyless smile. “Yes, I’ll go right now.” She turned away, rolling her eyes.

As she passed the corner of the wall, a dark shadow darted past. Yunxiu paused, hearing a faint cat’s meow. We don’t have cats in this estate, she thought. Likely a stray looking for warmth. To avoid fleas, she’d have to make sure the doors and windows were shut tight.

Yunxiu took a detour to the front courtyard to lock up before returning to wrap Juexing in the cloak. “The Second Miss didn’t come all this way just for a cloak,” she noted. “Stay for dinner.”

“I intended to,” Juexing replied, chin held high.

The list of people Yunxiu disliked was long, but Cen Juexing was right near the top, second only to Pei Linlang. Juexing had treated her Mistress like a servant as a child, and now she constantly came around to take things, claiming “if Pei Linlang has it, I must have it too.” As if she actually needed it.

The two stood at the door, staring each other down.

*****

Inside, Xianyue brought the medicine to Linlang’s bedside.

Linlang had intended to fake sleep, but the rustling sounds and Xianyue’s scent. It was distant at first, then closer—made it impossible. As Xianyue tucked in the quilt and brushed the hair from Linlang’s temple, the fragrance filled her senses.

Linlang cautiously opened her eyes. She saw Xianyue looking down at her with eyes full of smiles, her hand still lingering near Linlang’s cheek, leaning over her with a tenderness that felt like water.

Their eyes met. Linlang felt her face heat up and instinctively ducked into the quilt.

“You’re awake,” Xianyue said.

“Mm, just now…”

Xianyue sat on the edge of the bed, slowly stirring the dark, bitter liquid. “It’s good that you’re awake. I thought you might sleep for days again.”

“I just got a chill from the cold water last night. It’s not serious.”

Xianyue paused, looking up. “The estate has hot water. Why would you wash with cold?”

“Uh…” Linlang stammered. “It was late, and I…”

She was afraid of being a burden, and even more afraid that she would cause Xianyue to be looked down upon by others. Xianyue understood without her saying a word. It was a truth that only made things more awkward, so she stayed silent.

To Linlang’s surprise, Xianyue’s nose wrinkled slightly, and her eyes turned red.

“Sister…”

“It’s nothing. I just…” Xianyue forced a smile. “I’m only now realizing how useless I am as a sister.”

Linlang’s heart twisted. She knew Xianyue was a good person, but she hadn’t realized she was this good. Linlang had always found caring for others to be a taxing effort and was stingy with her affection; seeing Xianyue give so freely, acting as if caring for her and sewing for her was simply natural, made her feel unworthy.

She realized why Yunxiu had been so angry. Xianyue had made her a suit of clothes with her own hands, and Linlang had gone around showing off a different outfit. Even the smallest piece of Xianyue’s love was more than she could handle.

The dream from earlier soured her heart like vinegar.

How did such a wonderful person end up married to someone like Shen Zhao? she wondered. Why Shen Zhao? Why not someone better? Why not the original owner… why not me?

Why couldn’t I have come here sooner? If I had, I could have stopped her from repeating these mistakes.

This thought, which shouldn’t have existed, surfaced again. She didn’t yet realize that even the kindest people have a cruel side.

“Enough of that,” Xianyue said, lifting a spoonful of medicine to Linlang’s lips. “Drink this and get some proper sleep.”

Linlang swallowed it, her whole face wrinkling at the bitterness.

“Endure it. I’ll give you a sweet in a moment.”

“Sister, you’re treating me like a child.”

“…”

“The kitchen roasted some chestnuts. Do you want some?”

“I do.”

In truth, Linlang didn’t even like chestnuts, or at least, she hadn’t in her past life. But as the medicine hit the bottom of the bowl, she looked at Xianyue and spoke hesitantly.

“Sister, it’s not that I’m afraid of being a bother. I just feel… this is inappropriate.”

“You know I love you, yet you are still so good to me. If I fall in love with you all over again and repeat the past by trying to force you to be with me… what will you do?”

Xianyue froze, the empty bowl still in her hand, her fingertips stiff. She didn’t answer. She clearly didn’t know what to say. She simply let out a heavy, pitiable sigh.

Linlang felt a pang of guilt. It wasn’t Xianyue’s fault. She tried to brighten her tone. “Let’s put it this way. Everything you do for me now, I’ll consider it a debt. When I strike it rich in the future, I’ll pay you back. And if I don’t… I’ll take care of you when you’re old. That way my conscience is clear, and I won’t overthink things. How about that?”

“If that is the only way.”

Xianyue still didn’t look up. She set the bowl aside and unwrapped a small piece of malt candy from oil-paper. She held it to Linlang’s lips, her eyes damp as she briefly glanced up before looking away.

Linlang took the candy, her tongue accidentally brushing Xianyue’s fingertip. She dazed for a moment.

Xianyue stood up to leave, telling her to rest, but Linlang impulsively grabbed her wrist.

“Sister…”

“What is it?”

“I…” Linlang didn’t know what she wanted to say. “I just want to know… why… why can’t you love me?”

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