Hopeless Romance (GL) - Chapter 22

Chapter 22

After her previous exam failure, Qin Wei and Chen Sijun had to do a lot of internal work on their tempers to keep from giving Chen Pupu a harsh scolding. However, they naturally didn’t give her a warm reception either; their roles shifted instantly from “kind father and strict mother” to “strict father and strict mother.” Chen Pupu missed out on several meals of braised pork and spent a long time keeping her head down at home. To reclaim her status in the family, she made a solemn vow to over-perform in the final exams, setting a goal to rank in the top twenty of her class. In truth, she was terrified; given her current level, there was a significant gap to bridge, so she had to thicken her skin and ask Ye Du for help again.

To this end, Chen Pupu’s after-school activities shifted from watching the athletes train to participating in a study group. She stopped spending long hours with Yu Xiao just to chat aimlessly on the way home. Naturally, the time she spent with Yu Xiao gradually dwindled, and she spent more time with Ye Du and the others. The four of them ate together and studied together; it felt as though everything had returned to the way it used to be.

After Chen Pupu declined Yu Xiao’s invitation to walk home yet again, the latter proposed a breakup. Chen Pupu, her mind full of studies, froze for a long moment upon hearing this. For a time, she didn’t know what to say, yet felt she ought to say something.

“If you have no objections, I’m leaving first.” Yu Xiao handled it so casually, as if she were simply saying goodbye to a friend.

“Is it for real?” Chen Pupu finally managed to ask. She recalled the novels she had read where characters in such scenes would ask that very question—unable to accept the reality, they could only confirm it again, using the other person’s cold certainty to force themselves to accept it.

“What do you mean ‘for real’?” Yu Xiao turned back.

“You said… we’re over. Is it real?” Chen Pupu felt the word “breakup” was so heavy; she instinctively rejected it from the bottom of her heart.

Yu Xiao gave a light laugh. “Otherwise? Honestly, I only pursued you because I lost a bet with them. I thought it was nice to have someone to eat and walk home with for a while, but since you’re serious about studying now, I won’t bother you anymore.” It was autumn, and the leaves were ready to fall. Facing Chen Pupu’s disbelief, Yu Xiao just boredly crushed the dried fallen leaves under her feet.

Somehow, facing the Yu Xiao of this moment, the image that surfaced in Chen Pupu’s mind was the Yu Xiao who had taken her to see the stars and taught her to identify simple constellations; or the Yu Xiao who went to the music festival with her, where the joy hidden beneath the waves of sound was so real she could still recall it if she closed her eyes; and the Yu Xiao on the way home who would take her backpack and hold her hand while talking endlessly about her childhood and dreams. Those memories were still so vivid, and Yu Xiao felt so familiar, yet Chen Pupu simply could not see clearly the person standing before her now.

Chen Pupu shoved her hands into her school pants pockets and pinched her thigh hard. In doing so, a portion of her sadness was converted into physical pain. She took a deep breath and forced out the word “Okay.” The moment Yu Xiao turned away again, Chen Pupu blinked hard, trying to force back her tears.

If there were an 800-meter test right now, Chen Pupu felt she could achieve an excellent score. She ran quickly to the restroom, and without caring if anyone was around, she twisted the faucet open. She washed her face and patted her cheeks, trying to make herself act stronger. She had just cried like that over an exam not long ago—how much time had passed since then? Was she really going to have another major cry over Yu Xiao? Actually, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was sad about. Was it because she only found out today that the so-called “liking” was just a bored bet? Or was it because Yu Xiao chose to leave? Chen Pupu had grown used to having someone to share her life with—whether it was face-to-face chatting or sneaking text messages at night, it had all become a natural part of her life.

But the other person had chosen to give up. From this moment on, the connection they once had was severed, like a snapped rope; divided in two, the ends snapped back in different directions, becoming two separate ropes forever.

On the bus ride home, Chen Pupu thought about many things: the problems she hadn’t finished today, the notes she needed to review that Ye Du had lent her, and how if she did well on the exam, she could eat Qin Wei’s braised pork. But she couldn’t help but think of how Yu Xiao had walked this road with her so many times, shared earphones, held her hand, and let her fall asleep on her shoulder. Somehow, though it hadn’t been long, so much had happened. Thinking of this, she couldn’t help but cry again.

If only everything that had happened could leave as cleanly and decisively as Yu Xiao had.

When Chen Pupu’s call came through, Ye Du had already washed up and was ready for bed. She took the phone from Ye Sangshu. Just as she said “Hello,” she heard the sound of sobbing from the other end—it sounded muffled, likely because she was crying under her covers.

“Are you talking about the math homework? Okay, wait a second, I’ll go into my room to find it.” Ye Du picked up the phone and headed to her bedroom. In this moment, she was grateful for the advancement of technology. Though she knew Ye Sangshu wouldn’t hear her once the door was closed, Ye Du still lowered her voice as much as possible while spreading today’s math homework out on her desk.

“What’s wrong?” Ye Du couldn’t think of a reason.

“Yu Xiao… she… told me we’re over…” This short sentence was said in fragments, as if Chen Pupu couldn’t catch her breath.

“Catch your breath first. Don’t stay under the covers. If you cry quietly, no one outside will hear you,” Ye Du said. She felt that Chen Pupu was like a fish right now, needing to surface occasionally for a gasp of oxygen.

The sound of sobbing, nose-blowing, and deep breathing followed in sequence. These sounds traveled through the electrical current to Ye Du’s ear, making her imagine Chen Pupu’s tear-streaked face. “How did you know I was under the covers? How do you know everything?”

“Your voice makes it obvious.” Ye Du paused, gave a light sigh, and then spoke again: “Is it that painful to be apart from her?”

“Maybe because it’s my first time dating… I just really want to cry. Thinking about it, we were only together for a little over a month. We only experienced one monthly exam together. Why am I so sad? Ye Du, you’re so smart, can you tell me?” Chen Pupu poured out a stream of words, lacking logic or focus.

Ye Du, naturally, did not know. In this matter, Chen Pupu had far more authority than she did. However, she figured Chen Pupu didn’t necessarily need an answer; she probably just wanted someone to talk to, not wanting to go through this time alone. “Maybe because it’s your first relationship? It’s a very special memory for you?”

“No! It’s not special at all! Ye Du, do you know? Yu Xiao was too much! She didn’t like me at all! She only pursued me because of a bet with her friends! It’s so infuriating!” Hearing Ye Du’s words made Chen Pupu even sadder. Her first love, her precious heart given for the first time, had been wasted like this. She suddenly felt she wasn’t crying over Yu Xiao’s departure, but over the departure of something else—the innocence and naivety belonging to a first love had left her in such a careless way, no longer a part of her. When she falls in love with someone else in the future, will she still have this kind of expectation? Once bitten by a snake, would she still be able to trust unconditionally as before?

“She’s really too hateful!” The more she spoke, the more aggrieved she felt, and she cried even harder.

“Then I’ll go scold her for you.” Ye Du felt her judgment of character had been correct; Yu Xiao was not only annoying but also loathsome in her immaturity. It was one thing for her to act out of boredom, but quite another to drag Chen Pupu into it.

“Okay! You have to scold her until she cries!” Words were said, but Chen Pupu herself couldn’t stop her own tears. After finishing her accusations and hatred toward Yu Xiao, Chen Pupu complained for a long time about her tragic situation of not having eaten braised pork, mentioned a few parts of the notes she didn’t understand for Ye Du to explain tomorrow, wondered why Ye Du’s handwriting was so much better than hers, and rambled from Jiang Xinwan to Qin Zibei, and from Jiang Zhouchi to Pei Lang. Ye Du listened intently, giving her responses; though she didn’t say much, she didn’t miss a single word.

“Ye Du, is it too late? We should sleep.” This was the fourth time Chen Pupu had said this tonight.

“It is a bit late. It’s almost three in the morning.” And so, Ye Du pulled the first all-nighter of her life.

“Heavens! Is it that late?” Chen Pupu hadn’t realized she had been talking for so long. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. You hang up first.” Ye Du thought that if she didn’t let Chen Pupu hang up now, the two of them would have to call in sick together tomorrow.

The consequence of this late-night call was that Ye Du slept through half an English class, while Chen Pupu spent the whole morning clutching coffee. When the last morning class finally ended, Chen Pupu collapsed onto her desk and didn’t get up, lacking the energy even for lunch. In the end, she only survived the four afternoon classes by relying on the bread and milk Ye Du and the others bought for her.