Holy Father-Style Tool-Person - Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Two weeks have passed since Hiiragi Eiji was transferred to work under Dazai Osamu.

During the first week of his transfer, Eiji hurriedly sent an encrypted email to his superior, typing away furiously to report his sudden “promotion.”

That same day, he received a reply from another Public Security officer who had been living in Yokohama to coordinate with him.

“Stay put and observe carefully. However, remember that the Port Mafia is an organization of able users. Do not get promoted any further; otherwise, with your status as an ordinary person, your life may be in danger.”

In short: Stay right where you are!

Eiji returned to the Port Mafia in tears, only to run straight into Dazai Osamu, who was carrying documents back to his office.

Was this the promotion he wanted?! Huh?! He clearly didn’t want this kind of “gift package” either! To this day, the System hadn’t told him what exactly the contents of that grand gift package were.

However, in these short two weeks, he had already experienced the “reign of terror” known as Dazai Osamu.

Although this youth named Dazai Osamu was only seventeen, he frequently made Eiji feel the sheer gap in human intelligence.

This guy completely refused to play by the rules, yet whenever he commanded a mission, the results always unfolded exactly as he predicted. This absurd level of brilliance often made Eiji’s skin crawl.

Damn it! He was a mole! A high-risk mole who had encountered the high-risk Dazai Osamu wasn’t he just going to end up high-risk dead?!

Yet, for some reason (likely due to whatever that terrifying gift package contained), Dazai took a great liking to keeping Eiji right under his nose to mess with him.

“…Are you back? Good, I was looking for you. This report is quite… unique,” Dazai remarked with a beaming smile as he held the file Eiji had handed in that morning. “It has none of the content I wanted, but it’s filled with detailed filler elsewhere. Eiji-kun, have you really not considered switching careers to write novels? It seems your imagination is wasted here with me.”

Eiji: “…”

Was this his fault?! He had only been on the job for two weeks—!

What was he supposed to do when he was asked to write a report on “bombing a factory” just two weeks into the job?! He hadn’t even managed to dig a sample mission report out of the mountain of junk in Dazai’s office yet!

So, after consulting many people, Eiji had pieced together a complete mission briefing in fits and starts.

And this was the critique he got.

Screw you! This is literally the most honest feedback from everyone involved in the battle—!

“Eiji-kun, rewrite it,” Dazai told him with a benign smile on his face.

Eiji: “…”

I’ll write.

“Hmm? There’s actually a report from a week ago that hasn’t been written yet? Eiji-kun, here is the instruction manual. I’ll leave this to you as well.”

Eiji: “…”

…I’ll write.

“You didn’t take enough. Take all of those on that desk over there, too,” Dazai commanded sluggishly.

Eiji: “…”

I’m gonna write until I explode—!

That evening, as his adrenaline faded, Eiji looked at one of the reports that had been kicked back once again. He conversed with the System with hollow eyes. “…System, are you sure that the gift package I got for choosing Dazai Osamu was actually loaded?” Eiji asked in his mind, a bitter, phantom smile on his face.

His mind remained silent. The System, which usually had a response time of 0.1 seconds, actually lagged for the first time.

As if to double-check, the System waited a moment before responding.

[Loading confirmed.]

Eiji nodded calmly. “I get it. So this gift package is actually meant to test me, right? Because I took double rewards?”

System: “…”

The System was also utterly perplexed, but in the end, it offered a rare word of comfort.

[NPC Hiiragi Eiji, please do not be discouraged. Simply treat this as a display of the diversity of the human species.]

Eiji: “…”

When Eiji finished his conversation with the System, he saw Dazai staring at him intently, wordlessly maintaining his previous posture.

Eiji froze for a moment, and then alarm bells started ringing. Crap. Given how sharp Dazai was, had he noticed something off?

Could his delayed reaction while talking to the System have been witnessed?!

The more he thought about it, the worse it felt. But don’t panic! As long as he acted self-righteous, the other guy couldn’t do anything to him!

“…Dazai-sama, what are you looking at?”

Only then did Dazai seem to snap out of it. His dark brown eyes blinked slowly twice, which seemed to tell Eiji one thing he had been spacing out just now, too.

[…Target has been affected by the gift package content. Confirmation complete.]

The System’s cold but relieved voice rang in Eiji’s head again.

Eiji wasn’t stupid. He instantly understood the meaning behind the System’s words—given this guy’s god-like intellect, Eiji had been dazed for so long with such volatile expressions, yet Dazai hadn’t pressed him on it. Instead, Dazai had just stared at Eiji and spaced out himself.

Wasn’t this the signal that the gift package had loaded successfully? It had actually lowered Dazai’s IQ!

By this logic, the result was perfectly reasonable—!

…Like hell it was!

So the content of his gift package was just making Dazai’s IQ occasionally drop off a cliff?!

Before Eiji could confirm with the System exactly what this gift was, he heard Dazai speak leisurely: “I was wondering… why haven’t you realized that your current workload has already exceeded the amount for an ordinary employee for a week and a half?”

Eiji’s expression froze instantly.

…Workload for… a week and a half…??

After saying this, Dazai stared intently at Eiji, as if checking for his reaction.

Ten seconds later, Dazai leaned back lazily into his swivel chair. “Eh, no interesting reaction at all?” His tone gradually turned cold. “It seems there’s nothing special about you after all.”

Originally, Eiji felt his fists hardening, wanting to draw blood, but after hearing Dazai’s last sentence, he was stunned.

He blurted out almost instinctively: “Exactly! There’s nothing at all! Don’t tell me, Dazai-sama, that you transferred me over because you thought I was special?!”

Eiji’s bluntness and straightforward answer caused Dazai’s expression to go blank for a split second.

Then, Eiji saw the man’s eyes crinkle into a smile again.

[Dazai Osamu Favorability +5] [Dazai Osamu’s Impression has changed]

Eiji frantically opened his control panel. Since he hadn’t reached a “Bond” level yet, he could only see the other party’s impression of him.

[Favorability: 8] [Impression: Cunning fellow]

Eiji nearly coughed up a mouthful of blood.

Can this guy not understand human speech?!

After several ups and downs in his mood, Eiji, with his hardened psychological resilience, adjusted his mindset once more.

Right. He wouldn’t argue with a sick person.

Besides, this was probably the workload Dazai had accumulated after getting injured, right? Thinking about it that way, handling it for him wasn’t a big deal.

Sick people should rest.

When Eiji truthfully told Dazai that he didn’t mind and wished him a speedy recovery, Dazai actually let out a hearty laugh.

Finally, the laughter subsided. He crossed his legs, propped his chin on one hand, and looked at Eiji with lingering mirth in his eyes. “Oh, so you’re taking care of me.”

When he said this, he even gave a knowing nod as if confirming his own thoughts, showing an indescribable youthful spirit.

Eiji felt a flicker of joy.

Dazai’s reaction itself sent a signal: when a person senses kindness from another, they generally develop a natural favorability toward that person.

Eiji was already prepared for the notification that favorability had increased—

Sure enough, the next second, he heard the System’s pleasant chime.

[Dazai Osamu Favorability +1]

Eiji’s rising smile froze instantly.

…Plus one?

PLUS ONE?!

With a reaction like that, shouldn’t it be headed for plus ten?! And you only give me plus one?!

But the “thrilling” part was still ongoing.

He saw Dazai’s smile deepen. “So you didn’t know.”

Eiji quickly adjusted his expression. Given his previous work experience, he had become increasingly cautious. When he heard Dazai speak in that tone, his mind instinctively went on high alert. “…Know what?”

Dazai chuckled and said, “I’m not injured at all. The bandages are just my accessories.”

Eiji: “??????”

But the hardships were far from over!

A few days later, Eiji’s workload increased once again.

“Uzumaki-kun, Dazai-sama is missing—!”

At three in the morning, Eiji threw on a coat and went out to find him.

After a tense night of searching, he finally discovered this “suicide enthusiast” in a certain river.

Eiji: “…” He could handle this.

“Uzumaki-kun! Dazai-san was injured during a mission! He’s currently hospitalized! Please, these are the tasks Dazai-sama left behind; he said they could be given to you!”

For the following week, Eiji had to constantly switch between the hospital and the workplace. Not only did he have to lead Dazai’s subordinates on missions, but he also had to take care of him at the hospital.

…He really could handle this!

“Uzumaki-kun, Dazai-sama skipped work again… Wait! Don’t go looking for him; he said in this situation, you should go attend the meeting in his place!”

…He could totally handle this—!

“Uzumaki-kun…”

“Uzumaki-kun…”

After enduring this infernal workload, Eiji almost developed PTSD just hearing the name “Uzumaki-kun,” because it heralded the arrival of even more work!

Ah—ah—ah—!

After letting out three continuous, internal screams of agony, Eiji had an epiphany.

Either explode in silence, or go insane in silence. He couldn’t go on like this!

Otherwise, he didn’t know what he might do—!

That night, a man dejected by his workplace suddenly appeared in a bar inside the Port Mafia.