Her Imperfection for Wifehood - Chapter 49

Chapter 49

It was only after officially moving in with Aunt Hong that I learned that A-Jing, in her meticulous planning, had long prepared a secure way out for me and my mother—Aunt Hong.

She always cared for me wholeheartedly in places I couldn’t see.

And I, on the other hand, was always being manipulated and instructed in places she couldn’t see, using honey traps, self-inflicted misery, and drawing-the-tiger-out-of-the-mountain schemes against her.

Our love was too unfair. I owed her, both emotionally and financially.

I will never be able to repay her in this lifetime.

Later, in a new round of the Japanese invasion of China, common people in the shack areas and the old town, including my mother, brother, and sister, were either tragically massacred by the invaders or scattered without a trace.

I did not go looking for news of them again.

I cried.

Not for them, but for myself.

I thought I could exchange their freedom and stability for so many years of humiliation, but in less than a month, the dream turned to dust again.

This war made everything I suffered in the Wei house for those few years a huge joke.

And my very existence is a joke.

But even if it is a joke, I must live. Not because of the illusion of seeing A-Jing and begging for her forgiveness, but because Wei Zhengqing is not dead yet.

In the matter of hurting A-Jing, he was also the mastermind.

If time could be turned back, on the day A-Jing came to the Wei house to pick me up, I would follow her without hesitation.

But time never stops for anyone, let alone starts over.

During the war, all sectors and factions were busy protecting themselves. Businesses largely halted operations. Clearly, no one would care about the Wei family’s affairs.

Only I, relying on my memory, meticulously copied and wrote out the evidence of Wei Zhengqing’s collusion with Kahn and foreign merchants that I had secretly viewed in the Wei family study. What I couldn’t take out, I memorized.

I didn’t know if others would believe it, or if it would even be useful, but I had to try.

To seek help, I found Qin Zhe.

I couldn’t go to Sister Yunqing.

Sister Yunqing is A-Jing’s best friend. I couldn’t involve her in anything dangerous.

I had originally wanted to steal some evidence and hand it over to An Xi, but I had no opportunity. Wei Zhengqing checked the study every day. If anything was missing, he would inevitably suspect me.

In that case, not only would my family suffer, but I wouldn’t be able to leave the Wei house.

Qin Zhe once loved A-Jing. He should hate me.

I told him that I hated the Wei family, hated Wei Zhengqing, and would go to hell, even if it meant mutual destruction, to make him face retribution, preferably to see his family ruined.

If you hate me, help me. Let me, his daughter, bear the crime of being an unfilial rebel and go to hell with him.

Qin Zhe told me to wait for the best time.

After the Chinese military achieved initial victory in the war, the Chinese territory regained sovereignty and began to aggressively purge Western remaining power in Shanghai.

On the day Zhengqing Department Store resumed business, Wei Zhengqing and Madam Wei personally attended the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

As they all cheered, applauded, and celebrated, I scattered dozens of copies of the evidence from the second floor and read them aloud.

During this sensitive period, the public particularly hated pro-Western and colluding with foreign merchants’ activities.

Coupled with the fact that I was “naturally” a daughter of the Wei family, my public act of righteousness against my own kin added credibility.

Before Wei Zhengqing could order people to seize me, Qin Zhe and a group of police officers walked in. When he produced the almost genuine “iron proof” he had fabricated based on my description, everyone was further convinced.

With both personal and physical evidence present, amidst the cries condemning the traitors, Wei Zhengqing was apprehended and handcuffed with gleaming shackles, symbolizing shame.

A-Jing, look, I finally did something decent for you.

Madam Wei, with her world collapsing, went mad.

She rushed up, cursing me as ungrateful, hitting me like a shrew. I no longer passively accepted it and wrestled with her.

Because of my resistance, Madam Wei lost her balance and fell from the second floor.

Blood splattered on the spot. She stopped breathing.

And I was arrested for manslaughter.

The day after I entered prison, I heard the jailer say it was snowing in Shanghai. In my heart, first snow only had one meaning—it meant A-Jing’s birthday.

That day, I missed A-Jing intensely, so I was especially sad. I tried to bang my head against the wall to seek death but was discovered in time by the jailer and sent to the hospital.

Qin Zhe was the first person to visit me in the hospital.

Perhaps feeling pity for me, he told me that the evidence he held was not fabricated. Instead, An Xi had arranged to meet him before the war and personally handed it to him.

The evidence was found in Kahn’s room.

—Clever as you are, I believe I don’t need to explain An Xi’s intention in doing this, do I?

Because A-Jing loved me, and because I was Wei Zhengqing’s daughter, the An family could not be the ones to bring down the Wei family.

—But he also said that the smooth discovery of this evidence from Kahn was also thanks to you. You provided him with the direction and clues.

How much did An Xi love his sister?

I hadn’t even had the chance to do anything, yet he silently paved the way for A-Jing and me.

—Wei Yinxia, death is easier than living. An Jing and An Xi’s fates are still unknown. If you must go to hell to atone to the siblings, you should wait until you confirm they are both no longer in this world. It won’t be too late to die then.

Qin Zhe was right. A sinner like me wouldn’t even be accepted by hell.

The second person to visit me after hearing the news was Sister Yunqing.

She questioned me: “By what right do you die?”

She said A-Jing had only asked three things of her: one was to borrow 100,000 yuan, one was to ask her to safely settle Aunt Hong, and one was to entrust her to look after me to the best of her ability.

Yes, by what right did I die?

My life was saved at the cost of A-Jing’s life and the Lu Gang brothers’ lives. My life belonged to A-Jing. She wanted to see me live in pain, so I should obey her and live in pain, living until she returned to see me.

I completely abandoned the thought of seeking death. Later, Doctor Fu also came to see me.

She said: I used to think that by not speaking out, I could silently protect her and accompany her openly for a long time. But now, I envy the passionate intensity of you and Boss Jing. Even if the relationship does not end well, at least you openly kissed and loved each other.

I asked: Did she know?

She said: Yes, she knew. I love her, I love everything about her. Although she doesn’t love Yang Qiyuan, her love has been given to the two children, and no one can take it away.

I asked: Are you letting go?

She said: I might not be able to wait for a hopeless future with no end in sight.

I asked: When are you leaving?

She said: Perhaps after she safely gives birth to the child in her belly, perhaps in a year or two, or perhaps on any random day, I will just leave.

I said: Better to let her miss you than to let her hate you. Because the hatred of a loved one will make you wish you were dead.

Just like me.

Sister Yunqing spent a lot of money smoothing things over and working her connections, resulting in my release after only half a year in prison.

Half a year was enough for many, many things I didn’t know about to happen.

On the day of my release, Sister Yunqing came to pick me up. In the car was Fu Wenjing, holding Little Ning.

And also Xixi, nestled in a cage.

That’s wonderful, Xixi is still here. A-Jing said Xixi was our child, and A-Jing and I were both its mothers.

Sister Yunqing handed me many things. Besides Xixi, there was a photo. Later, she gave me a nightclub. She told me to change my appearance and start my life anew.

She told me to return the 100,000 yuan dowry the An family gave to the Wei family.

Western forces successively withdrew from Shanghai, returning sovereignty over our territory. From then on, Shanghai was no longer divided into concessions and Chinese territory.

Shanghai returned to peace and was reborn, but there was no longer a Boss Jing in Shanghai.

After Wei Zhengqing was imprisoned, his health deteriorated rapidly. Zhengqing Department Store was taken over by Wei Lan’en and her husband, but it went bankrupt in just one year due to mismanagement.

Qin Zhe acquired it at a low price. After radical reorganization, the Zhengqing Department Store building was renamed—the Shanghai International Hotel—and became a high-end venue for hosting celebrities and elites from all walks of life. Many domestic and foreign political, business, and cultural figures have stayed at the hotel.

Wei Lan’en’s in-laws were ostracized due to their relative, Wei Zhengqing, a traitor. Under duress, they had no choice but to relocate the entire family.

They gave Wei Lan’en two choices: either sever ties with Wei Zhengqing and move with them, or divorce and stay to fulfill her filial duty.

For the sake of her two children, Wei Lan’en chose the former.

Thus, Wei Zhengqing was abandoned by all. The day after Wei Lan’en met him alone, he “died suddenly” in his prison cell.

Three years passed in a flash.

She returned.

She was Sister Jing, she was Boss An, but she was definitely not my A-Jing.

The news was a verbal message conveyed to me by Qin Zhe through an intermediary.

War is cruel, causing countless broken homes, separations, and suffering.

War took An Xi’s life, leaving A-Jing without her dearest brother, and Ruyue without her beloved fiancé.

A-Jing and An Xi had a deep bond. An Xi was a valiant soldier.

I cannot imagine the depth of A-Jing’s sorrow.

I only hate myself for not being able to share her burden. A hundred years—her dearest An Xi couldn’t accompany her to the end. And I was no longer the person she loved so much.

Fortunately, the theater where the four of us watched a play together had survived tenaciously.

Every sunny evening, unless there was a special circumstance, I would try my best to rush there to watch the sunset.

I would stand on the flagstones where I once stood shoulder-to-shoulder with A-Jing, watching the bustling crowds come and go, watching my very long shadow stretched out in the afterglow.

As I watched, tears would once again fall uncontrollably.

Many years ago, that day, A-Jing wore a light-colored riding habit. She was very cool, very beautiful. My A-Jing looks beautiful in everything she wears.

That day, I had intended to ask: Does Boss Jing know how to ride a horse? If so, could you teach me?

I didn’t ask.

It was my fault for being hesitant and confused then.

A-Jing, do you know that after that, I dreamed many times of us galloping across grasslands and chasing the sunrise and moonset in the woods.

Until we met again at the racetrack, I never had such a dream again. Because the person riding with you will not be me.

After receiving the news, I immediately rushed to the racetrack outside Shiliu Garden. I saw with my own eyes you handing your hand to Boss Qiang, and giving your smile to Boss Qiang.

I heard him call you—A-Jing.

You let your hair grow long for him, you became his A-Jing, and there was no longer a place for me by your side.

That’s fine. That’s fine.

Boss Qiang, Sister Yunqing, they are both better than me when it comes to loving you.

What am I? I’m not even qualified to be jealous.

Fortunately, the photo of you and me together under the sunset is still here. Boss Qiang definitely doesn’t have the photo of us in front of the theater, right? The A-Jing in that photo, who belongs exclusively to me, no one can steal.

This photo became the belief that sustained me during the days without you.

When Sister Yunqing gave it to me, she said: “If I had known earlier that her loved one could be a woman, I wouldn’t have let her heart be taken by any other woman.”

Perhaps many years ago, Sister Yunqing’s feelings for you were also love. She just didn’t understand and missed the opportunity.

I felt sad for Fu Wenjing, and I also admired her persistence and magnanimity.

Compared to Sister Yunqing, I am far inferior.

A-Jing, how am I worthy of your favor? Sister Yunqing has always protected you and helped you, while I have only ever deceived and hurt you.

On the back of the photo are six words written with a black fountain pen:

心上人 (Beloved/Sweetheart). 大英雄 (Great Hero).

I had seen A-Jing’s handwriting when she worked in the office. It was flamboyant and hard to read. However, these six words were written exceptionally neatly. Every stroke reflected seriousness, and every angle hid joy.

I placed the photo under the glass. Many times, I couldn’t resist the urge to take it out and look at those six words on the back again.

But I dared not. I was afraid.

Afraid that it couldn’t withstand the passage of time, afraid that it would yellow in the air, afraid that it would fade.

Afraid that in the photo, I would no longer clearly see my… great hero.

I know that the person in your heart is no longer me. But it doesn’t matter, A-Jing. You are in my heart, and you will be for all my lives.

You are my Beloved. Next lifetime, let me be the one to say those words.

If there is a next life, please wait for me. Wait for me to speak first.

Will you?

Sister Yunqing said that the day of the first snowfall each year is A-Jing’s birthday.

But it rarely snows in Shanghai.

It didn’t snow the year before last, or last year. This year, I don’t know if it will.

The last time it snowed was the winter I broke A-Jing’s heart.

I also blame myself for thinking that true feelings could outweigh lies, that a broken mirror could be mended, that we would have a future.

I missed that snow.

And I missed my love.

I only hope that in the coldest time of this winter, while I am still alive and have the courage, it will snow in Shanghai again. Giving me a chance to celebrate her birthday with her one more time, and cook her a bowl of longevity noodles.

A-Jing once said that she had eaten countless delicacies, but the noodles I cooked were the most to her taste.

In the three years I have been waiting for her to return, whenever I couldn’t sleep from missing her late at night, I would cook a bowl of tomato and egg noodles she once praised as delicious.

The first few times, I took a few extra bites.

I couldn’t taste the sourness. Mixed with tears, every bite was salty.

For every bowl afterward, I only carefully tasted one bite before the tears fell.

This bite was to confirm the taste of the noodles.

I was very afraid, afraid that with the passage of time, the taste of the noodles I made would change. I was afraid that if it changed, A-Jing wouldn’t like it anymore.

But why, even before the taste could change, did she stop liking it?

I know A-Jing doesn’t dislike the noodles. She just no longer likes the person who cooks the noodles.

Not liking me is right.

That person brought it upon herself. You should harden your heart and stop pitying her.

But what should I do, A-Jing? I still love you so much, and miss you so much.

I’m sorry, I can’t wait for the next life. A-Jing, please, just be my great hero one more time, okay?

Let the bad woman Wei Yinxia, who hurt you, die in hell. Will you accept Hongying from the human world to love you?

She will be more considerate than Wei Yinxia, gentler, understand you better, know her place better, and be more sensible. Most importantly, she will never hurt you again.

This time, she will let all of Shanghai know that she loves you.

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