Hedgehog's Belly - Chapter 51

Chapter 51

“What, did you think I was going to mess with you?” Yan Qingzhu wore a mischievous smirk. Her simple ink-blue shirt made the lines of her figure appear smooth, and the well-tailored cut accentuated her unique, powerful feminine charm.

As she used to do, she pulled Luo Mu into her arms, but the person in her embrace immediately broke free. Luo Mu flusteredly smoothed her stray hairs, quickly trying to hide the crimson flush on her cheeks. On a busy street, the embrace of couples or friends didn’t particularly surprise any passersby.

But at this moment, Luo Mu couldn’t quite name what their relationship was.

“Yes.”

Luo Mu lowered her head, her voice turning deep with tenderness, her eyelashes fluttering slowly. Though it contradicted her inner thoughts, she had agreed with her just that directly.

Perhaps only she would think that way.

Luo Mu frowned, throwing all the questions and bitterness back into the deep pool of her memory, forcing herself to stop thinking about them.

Yan Qingzhu smiled, the sharpness in her brow fading away, replaced by a tranquility like that of the deep forest, where a narrow stream meanders into the infinite distance. Her tone was cozy: “I’m not a child anymore.”

Luo Mu looked up, gazing at her, and swallowed all her emotions back into her heart: “You are the universe’s super invincible thunderbolt-crackling-pop war god.”

Yan Qingzhu burst out laughing. She hadn’t expected a casual joke from the past to be mentioned again. Only in front of Luo Mu could Yan Qingzhu reveal her unique, childlike nature. It was as if no matter how aggrieved or childish she acted, there was always a reason to be forgiven.

No one can stay blazing forever, maintaining a perpetually burning passion. Because they are human, they get tired and exhausted. Even someone like Yan Qingzhu hoped that, without relying on alcohol, she could have a sanctuary belonging only to her, enough to temporarily leave the trifles of life behind.

Yes, Luo Mu went along with her; it had always been this way.

Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, Luo Mu caught a glimpse of redness at the corners of Yan Qingzhu’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Luo Mu’s voice was very soft. She then used her fingertip to gently rub the corner of the other woman’s eye.

In her memory, it was the same street, the same flickering streetlights. That person had been forcing a smile just like today, but no matter what, she couldn’t hide the bitterness in her heart.

“Do you want to know?” Yan Qingzhu’s original smile slowly receded, her gaze deep enough to melt this long summer.

Yan Qingzhu never intended to keep silent with her; she was unwilling to hide those hard-to-speak, unutterable secrets from her.

But Luo Mu lowered her eyes, calmly observing the bouquet. Luo Mu didn’t want Yan Qingzhu to crush herself; she didn’t want to use her gaze to devour the other woman’s dignity.

The corner of Yan Qingzhu’s mouth lifted slightly in a relieved smile. She cautiously touched the back of Luo Mu’s hand with her own. Like a child, she waited for a drop of affection.

Her voice was low with a hint of a tremor: “Walk with me for a while.”

Luo Mu nodded and took the opportunity to take Yan Qingzhu’s hand. This time, she wanted to be brave.

Amidst the flow of the crowd, fate often amounts to nothing more than a passing shoulder.

As the lamplight diffused into every corner of the Lingyang streets, the two walked slowly. Luo Mu felt that Yan Qingzhu’s wrist was thin and fair, her fingers long, and the warmth of her palm spread to her nerves. She awkwardly hooked her pinky finger with Yan Qingzhu’s, then acted as if she had accidentally interlaced their ten fingers—a silent comfort, and a declaration of sovereignty.

This yearning love was kept strictly constrained between their ten fingers.

Luo Mu acted as if she didn’t care, like a child holding hands with a friend, yet she had never been this restless. The other person’s palm was slightly sweaty, and she couldn’t bear to meet her eyes.

“Why did you suddenly think of giving me flowers?” Luo Mu walked at a steady pace, picking a random topic.

Yan Qingzhu didn’t let go of Luo Mu’s hand; instead, she gripped it in her palm like a treasure. Scanning the city scenery, her voice was gentle: “Every time I come to this street, I think of you.”

Yan Qingzhu murmured again: “I’ve been thinking about what Sister Muzi meant when she said she wanted to save a part of her love for herself.”

Luo Mu looked up: “Mhm?”

Even Luo Mu hadn’t thought that the sentence had any special meaning.

Yan Qingzhu looked down at her, smiling faintly: “Because I feel that Luo Mu deserves a lot of love.”

Luo Mu shuddered violently. Her heart felt as if it had been touched by a feather, and her originally calm emotions became noisy again. Then, her expression became somewhat awkward: “You’re messing with me again!”

Luo Mu originally wanted to pull her hand away with force, but the other person happened to increase her grip, watching with a soft smile as Luo Mu puffed up like a hedgehog.

“Luo Mu.” Only after a bout of laughter did Yan Qingzhu calmly call her name.

Luo Mu looked up at her. Yan Qingzhu’s gaze slowly darkened, like starlight flowing along a valley, sleeping eternally in an unknown distance.

Yan Qingzhu took Luo Mu’s hand again, her hair emitting a light scent of petitgrain: “I actually quite envy you.”

Luo Mu stopped walking and stared blankly at Yan Qingzhu. Yan Qingzhu turned back, her eyes clear and cool, meeting her gaze. Lingyang was brightly lit, as if by standing still in this city, one could find no shadow.

But Yan Qingzhu didn’t offer much explanation; she simply pulled Luo Mu along, walking slowly through the streets of Lingyang. They felt the warmth of each other’s palms, their steps in sync—so agonizing, yet so elusive.

Luo Mu lowered her eyes, following Yan Qingzhu’s rhythm aimlessly. But this time, she no longer asked about Yan Qingzhu’s pain.

After a long time, the two walked into a small alley, passing by a small tavern with little decoration. Through the glass, they could see a resident singer under warm lights holding a guitar and singing, looking out of place in the bustling, noisy city of Lingyang.

Luo Mu suddenly remembered something from the past: “I remember when you had something on your mind, you would drink, and then go to Long Lake waiting for your sister to pick you up.”

Luo Mu’s thoughts drifted, dredging up youth memories from the depths of her mind. Thinking back to everything at Long Lake Park—the silly things and the harsh things said there. Now, she was holding Yan Qingzhu’s hand, meeting and walking side-by-side in another city.

Yan Qingzhu nodded, giving a simple response.

Luo Mu’s eyelashes trembled: “But Qingzhu, one day we will forget the need for alcohol to escape the pain life brings us.”

Luo Mu rarely touched alcohol. She knew that using alcohol could never solve a life destined to be inescapable from sorrow and endless bitterness.

But some people touch alcohol just so that during those nights of tossing and turning, they can get a good night’s sleep.

That was all.

Yan Qingzhu only lifted the corners of her mouth, her expression gentle. She looked down at Luo Mu: “What do you do when you’re lost?”

“Don’t laugh at me, but I spend my time meditating on Zen and the Tao,” Luo Mu smiled faintly. “Because the heart can’t find a place to belong, I seek out religious theology. I don’t think it’s anything to be ashamed of.”

It is hard for humans to understand those groundless, inexplicable disasters. Not everything in this world can be overcome by human effort alone.

Perhaps it was having a spiritual pillar that gave Luo Mu a craving for life amidst her hardships.

Everyone needs a little faith to survive.

Yan Qingzhu rubbed Luo Mu’s head as she used to, and this time Luo Mu didn’t dodge. Like a hedgehog waiting for its quills to be smoothed, she surrendered all her tenderness to Yan Qingzhu.

The lights of Lingyang overlapped with shadows. Luo Mu looked up to meet her eyes, her gaze clear. Then the two shared a brief laugh, the gentle evening breeze carrying the scent of a summer night.

Luo Mu smiled faintly: “Yan Qingzhu, have you ever thought about being entangled with someone for a lifetime?”

Yan Qingzhu froze, unable to answer immediately.

Crowds hurried past the entrance of the alley like a fast-moving reel of an old film, resembling a lingering dream.

Luo Mu said slowly: “Yan Qingzhu, be entangled with me for a lifetime.”

The language suddenly became sincere and soft, like an ancient, lost, and soul-stealing poison from a fairy tale.

At this moment, Luo Mu gazed at the blurred reflection in Yan Qingzhu’s eyes, as if drowning in a gentle tide, her breathing rising and falling.

The rose bouquet fell to the ground with a “thud” as light and shadow alternated.

Luo Mu stood on her tiptoes, her arms draped over Yan Qingzhu’s shoulders. With her eyes lowered, her complex emotions no longer needed to be restrained. Yan Qingzhu leaned down slightly and took her into her arms.

Her fingers tangled in Luo Mu’s hair, lightly tilting the back of her head up.

In this moment, Luo Mu could no longer feel the sound of the wind; she only felt that the lights of Lingyang were dazzling. The woody scent drifted with the fragrance of jasmine, becoming pleasant amidst the diffusion of petitgrain. The tip of Luo Mu’s nose tickled Yan Qingzhu’s face as she brushed against it. Then, Luo Mu tilted her head, her lips softly covering the other’s, endlessly lingering.

It was a tentative taste, restrained yet delicate.

The summer wind gently blew through the leaves, like the rustling signs of life.

It was merely a touch like a dragonfly skimming the water, yet their breathing was rapid, and their hearts trembled uncontrollably.

Luo Mu was willing to believe now that one should live for love once.

“I…” Yan Qingzhu spoke after a long while, her expression not yet recovered.

“Me too!” Luo Mu’s cheeks were crimson, and she explained flusteredly amidst her chaotic thoughts.

Yan Qingzhu raised an eyebrow: “You…”

Luo Mu responded quickly: “I do!”

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, motionless. A cold sweat broke out on Luo Mu’s back as she realized they weren’t even talking about the same thing.

“You go first?!” they said in unison. “Or should I go first?!”

Another few seconds of silence.

The light in the alley was hazy, and the intense sense of unreality felt exceptionally ambiguous in the blurred shadows.

“Luo Mu.” Yan Qingzhu took Luo Mu’s hand again. “I don’t want one lifetime.”

“Mhm?” Luo Mu looked up sharply, her pupils trembling.

She hadn’t expected Yan Qingzhu to say that.

“I want eight hundred lifetimes.”

Through the brilliant lights at the alley entrance, Luo Mu was able to see her eyes clearly in the darkness. Every word Yan Qingzhu spoke landed with weight, driving away all the uncertainty in Luo Mu’s heart.

At this moment, in Lingyang, there was no grand fireworks banquet, no crowd cheering for their love.

Luo Mu’s eyes were shimmering, but all of this was worth it.

The countless nights that had kept her tossing and turning now had an answer at this moment.

“Luo Mu.”

Yan Qingzhu leaned down, burying her head in the crook of Luo Mu’s neck. The delicate scent of petitgrain was far-reaching and quiet, soothing the restless emotions in her heart.

Luo Mu slowly lowered her gaze, feeling the true heartbeat.

Outside the alley, the crowd was noisy and the lights were brilliant. Inside the alley, the faint warm light rendered unutterable emotions.

Yan Qingzhu held Luo Mu in her arms. At this moment, the fragile yet continuous wandering in her heart finally settled: “Even so, I still want to tell you formally.”

“Luo Mu, I really, really like you.”

From then on, the gentle breeze surrounded them, and the woods rustled.