Hedgehog's Belly - Chapter 44

Chapter 44

At seventeen, Luo Mu didn’t understand why some people felt such intense anxiety and unease when facing a hospital or an injured patient. But at twenty, she found herself repeatedly urging the taxi driver to go faster, her gaze fixed on the red lights with their numerical countdowns. Her eyes trembled, and her heart pounded violently second by second, shaking her with pain.

Even breathing felt unprecedentedly hurried.

Because this was a life; because of the reverence held for it.

Luo Mu’s hands shook as she gripped her phone tightly, her expression like a taut string that could snap at any moment. On the way, she kept hoping the phone would ring again to tell her immediately that Yan Yu was fine, but the call never came back.

In that moment, Luo Mu finally understood the predicament Yan Qingzhu had faced at seventeen when her friend was injured.

When it came to many feelings, Luo Mu was always someone who understood them only in hindsight.

The moment she stepped out of the car, Luo Mu rushed into the hospital, her face showing a trace of panic. The previous caller had specified the exact location. On her way into the city hospital, even as she walked down the cold corridors, she had prepared herself mentally countless times—yet when she saw that familiar small frame, her heart skipped a beat.

Yan Yu sat lonely on a metal chair, an IV drip in her left hand, her head hanging slightly low. Her expression was somewhat vacant and drifting, a hollowness that made one’s heart ache. In the infusion hall, most children were accompanied, and the noise was unavoidable. Only Yan Yu waited calmly; Luo Mu couldn’t guess what the child was actually thinking.

Even Luo Mu couldn’t distinguish whether this was the strength brought by maturity or the helplessness of fighting a lone battle.

It was hard to say.

Luo Mu instinctively moved forward, then suddenly stopped. She watched as a male student, seemingly seventeen and wearing a school uniform, held a bag of medicine and knelt on one knee before Yan Yu. He pulled a clean tissue from his pocket and wiped the traces of vomit from the corner of Yan Yu’s mouth. The boy’s gaze was fixed on Yan Yu as he spoke a few sentences; Yan Yu’s exhausted face didn’t improve much, she only shook her head gently—perhaps using up all her remaining strength.

The boy nodded in response, and only then did Luo Mu slowly walk over. Following Yan Yu’s line of sight, the boy suddenly realized this must be Yan Yu’s sister. He stood up abruptly, caught off guard, coughing nervously several times before saying solemnly, “You must be Yan Yu’s sister? The doctor said it’s a gastric ulcer—”

As Luo Mu looked at the report, she noticed the boy’s voice becoming increasingly difficult and stuttering.

“If it’s not taken seriously, it could very likely lead to… gastric perforation.” The boy’s handsome face twisted slightly, unable to bear mentioning this fact.

Luo Mu sighed and tucked the report back into the bag of medicine, her tone soft: “Thank you for taking care of Yan Yu. You should go back and rest now; it’s enough with me here.”

The boy instinctively let out a shocked “Huh?” before looking at Yan Yu, who also nodded, signaling for him to go back and rest. After a moment, he managed a forced smile: “I’m the class monitor, it’s only right to help a classmate. If Yan Yu needs any more help, contact me anytime—”

“Then… I’ll be going.” The boy bowed politely to Luo Mu, exchanged a look with Yan Yu, and slowly left.

After seeing the monitor off, Luo Mu took off her knit cardigan, knelt before Yan Yu, and draped it over her shoulders. The sudden warmth made Yan Yu’s nose sting. Only then did Luo Mu notice the child’s lips were pale and the corners of her eyes were red. Indeed, no matter how strong a child is, they cannot hide the helplessness in their heart.

Luo Mu had rushed from the University Town to the City Hospital—fifteen kilometers. Even the fastest taxi would take half an hour. During that half-hour, how had seventeen-year-old Yan Yu endured the confusion and despair? Under what kind of pressure had she chosen to call Luo Mu’s number?

“Don’t tell Big Sister…” Yan Yu rested her head on Luo Mu’s shoulder. Her abdomen still throbbed with pain, and her voice was raspy, as if she were running out of breath.

“Have you not been eating properly?” Luo Mu stroked her hair, comforting her.

So Yan Qingzhu didn’t know about this.

Luo Mu frowned.

But if Yan Qingzhu knew, she would go crazy.

“Don’t tell Big Sister…” Yan Yu’s whole body was trembling, and tears surged out without warning, continuous and uncontrollable.

Her emotions came like a flood of beasts; at this moment, all the grievances and lack of direction surged up from the depths of her memory. She thought that as long as she was obedient, she wouldn’t cause trouble for her sister. She thought that as long as she was independent, her sister could spend more time becoming the person she wanted to be.

“Don’t tell her—”

A child is a child after all, and the dual physical and psychological pain left her unable to breathe. Luo Mu couldn’t bear it, calmly stroking the startled lamb in her arms.

“I promise you.” Luo Mu’s eyes were gentle yet filled with pity, like the crescent moon in a thin night. She tucked the knit cardigan tighter around Yan Yu and whispered softly: “I won’t tell your sister. But likewise—”

Luo Mu paused, and when she spoke the next sentence, it was like a blade covered in regret and self-reproach stabbing her own heart.

Luo Mu’s tone was heavy and somber: “You must not tell your sister that I came to see you, either.”

Yan Yu froze; she didn’t understand why these two had suddenly become so distant, but she obediently nodded.

Luo Mu sat beside Yan Yu, staring at the drop-by-drop rhythm in the IV drip chamber, her chin resting on her hand. Her eyes were filled with pained reluctance, a mixture of sadness and emptiness.

She knew why Yan Yu, even while sick, was so persistent about not letting Yan Qingzhu find out.

Having accidentally learned that Yan Qingzhu’s campus at Lingyang University was over a hundred kilometers away from Lingyang No. 1 Middle School, Luo Mu lamented that this distance was too difficult. She couldn’t be by her sister’s side at any time; she couldn’t appear before her when she needed her most. Even for Luo Mu, who was only fifteen kilometers away, it had been a terrifying ordeal; if something truly happened, Yan Qingzhu would really go mad.

Luo Mu’s heart beat so urgently, and her pupils were trembling.

She was so certain: Yan Qingzhu would truly go mad.

Vaguely, Luo Mu saw that Yan Yu was preoccupied: “If you’re tired, sleep for a while. I’ll tell the nurse when the bottle needs changing.”

“Thank you. But—” Yan Yu lowered her head cautiously and looked at Luo Mu again, her eyes showing a trace of anxiety.

“It’s Friday, our school doesn’t check the dorms, and there’s nothing important. I’ll stay with you and won’t go back yet.” A comforting smile appeared on Luo Mu’s lips, though she felt pained that Yan Yu was being too sensible.

These words finally shattered the boulder pressing on Yan Yu’s heart. she let out a slow sigh, her expression relaxing slightly as she rasped in a low voice: “Thank you, Sister Muzi.”

Then, Yan Yu’s eyes filled with guilt and self-reproach, her tone slightly choked up: “Sorry for ruining Sister Muzi’s wonderful night.”

Luo Mu was puzzled: “Why do you say that?”

“Sister Muzi went to have hotpot,” Yan Yu said slowly, “and it was the beef tallow spicy pot flavor.”

Luo Mu suddenly burst out laughing, realizing she really had gone for hotpot with Qin Jiahui, and the knit cardigan had absorbed the scent. Because of the emergency, Luo Mu had only just noticed it now.

“It’s fine, a friend treated me, so it’s not a loss.” Luo Mu rubbed Yan Yu’s head. This child truly shared a few similarities with Yan Qingzhu—not just those beautiful eyes, but also a unique way of speaking at times.

The time on the electronic screen on the wall kept ticking. Luo Mu watched the child beside her repeatedly wake up and fall back to sleep; every ten minutes or so, her eyes would snap open like a helpless young animal, scanning the surroundings warily. Luo Mu worried; Yan Yu’s sleep quality was not good either.

Luo Mu brushed the stray hairs from Yan Yu’s forehead and pressed the back of her hand against Yan Yu’s face, checking the status of the IV bottle. Ensuring everything was normal, she finally let out a slow breath and sat back down.

That was one of the few moments Luo Mu felt such anxiety and horror.

Having sat for too long, Luo Mu slightly twisted her neck, let Yan Yu know she was going, and got up to go to the restroom in the hallway. In a daze, her eyes caught a familiar figure, and that person’s gaze met hers. Luo Mu’s pupils shook violently; even after two years apart, she could recognize her.

Yan Qingzhu?!

Luo Mu immediately blocked her path, her eyes reflecting the piercing features of the person before her—indifferent and cold, like a stagnant pool with no sign of life.

Yan Qingzhu’s voice was heavy and stagnant: “Sister Muzi, move aside.”

Two years of no contact, and now that they met again, the first sentence she spoke was not a kind one.

Luo Mu couldn’t tell if the twenty-year-old Yan Qingzhu and the seventeen-year-old Yan Qingzhu were still the same person.

“Don’t blame her.” Luo Mu held onto the hallway railing, her tone firm, her gaze not backing down an inch as she stood in front of Yan Qingzhu.

Though she had never seen Yan Qingzhu lose control of her emotions completely, Luo Mu understood too well that Yan Yu was Yan Qingzhu’s final bottom line. And whether that final line would become the straw that broke the camel’s back, Luo Mu didn’t dare to say.

Yan Qingzhu’s gaze was sharp and gloomy, radiating a bone-chilling coldness that left Luo Mu’s body unable to move, as if she were about to be torn apart in the next second.

A few seconds of silence passed.

Luo Mu repeated: “Don’t scold her!”

Yan Qingzhu’s expression was somber. After a few seconds, she slowly nodded.

“Anyway, control your own emotions first. She’s stable now; whatever you do, don’t say anything to trigger her.” Luo Mu continued, speaking briefly and clearly.

But in the next second, Luo Mu realized what she said wasn’t quite right; the person most severely triggered was Yan Qingzhu herself. Luo Mu didn’t know how she got the news, but if she had never found out, would she have lived in self-reproach? During that hundred-kilometer journey back, what kind of emotions had she endured?

No one cherished Yan Yu more than Yan Qingzhu.

Luo Mu could not personally experience any of this.

“I know.” Yan Qingzhu’s voice was low as she bypassed Luo Mu and walked straight toward the infusion hall. Luo Mu followed behind, fearing the woman wouldn’t be able to control her emotions and might say something excessive.

As soon as she entered the doorway, Yan Qingzhu saw Yan Yu in the distance. The child’s head was tilted, her eyes closed as she rested, looking so obedient it was heart-wrenching. Luo Mu felt the hands of the person beside her trembling slightly as she let out a heavy breath.

Yan Qingzhu walked straight over and knelt before the child, her fingertip stroking Yan Yu’s face, her very breathing becoming wary and careful. Yan Yu woke up in a daze, and seeing her sister before her, her pupils trembled. Her voice was raspy, and several times her lips parted slightly, but she couldn’t say a single word.

Yan Qingzhu sighed: “Your homeroom teacher called and told me you were in the hospital.”

“If it weren’t for that call, were you planning on not telling me at all?” The calm words lacked much intonation or warmth; there was only self-reproach and disappointment.

Yan Yu’s lips moved with a sense of grievance, and all her stubbornness and defenses collapsed in that instant. She hid in Yan Qingzhu’s embrace, her eyes shimmering as tears quickly traced down her cheeks—bitterness, pain, and despair were finally released at this moment.

One second ago she was unarmed, fighting loneliness and isolation with nothing but her stubbornness; the next second, she possessed the warmest light in the world.

But what Yan Yu didn’t know was that at seventeen, she had a harbor; whereas at seventeen, Yan Qingzhu had never possessed the right to rely on anyone.

It turns out that growing up is destined to be a cruel riddle.