Hedgehog's Belly - Chapter 15

Chapter 15

“Yan Yu doesn’t like the smell of smoke. Put it out.” As soon as Yan Qingzhu entered the door, she caught the distinct scent of tobacco and instinctively pushed the window open.

Facing the woman she hadn’t seen in a long time, Yan Qingzhu couldn’t muster any positive emotions. The crimson suit highlighted the woman’s nobility and splendor; she was glamorous and seductive yet retained a dignified air. The beauty cultivated by time was incomparable to the bewitching mole at the corner of her eye. The woman didn’t care what Yan Qingzhu said and took another puff of her cigarette.

“Where is Yan Yu? Why didn’t she come?” The woman on the sofa exhaled a smoke ring. Seeing no ashtray on the table, she flicked the ash into the trash can.

“President Wang, why didn’t you bring your secretary? Do I need to tell you what day of the week it is?” Yan Qingzhu brushed the dust off her clothes and replied coldly, “Other people are still in school studying. Did you think you could just make one phone call and bring them in front of you?”

“If you hadn’t stopped replying to messages and picking up calls, why would I have needed to call your homeroom teacher!” The woman’s voice rose several decibels, piercing and unnerving, as if she were trying to inflate her own authority.

Yan Qingzhu clenched her fists, doing her best to suppress the anger that threatened to explode at any moment.

“True, you have a good memory. You probably had to ask a whole crowd of people before you found out who my homeroom teacher was.” Yan Qingzhu’s voice was full of disdain, her gaze sharp and murderous. “Sister Wang, I’m already in my second year of high school. In another year, I’ll be taking the College Entrance Exam. Did you think I was still taking middle school graduation tests?”

She had been lectured by her homeroom teacher first thing in the morning. Recalling the teacher’s stinking face—pretending to use her ‘theory of love’ to preach gratitude—was as nauseating as rotting, foul-smelling swill.

Needless to say, this woman in front of her must have stuffed the teacher’s pockets with money to make her life miserable. At that time, Yan Qingzhu had stared at the wall clock, counting every second. She let the teacher go on with her “heartfelt” speech: “Student Yan, I know your situation, but we must return grievance with virtue. We are all doing this for your own good.”

Yan Qingzhu let out a disdainful “tsk.”

“But it’s fine. I’m not the type to hold a grudge. I don’t resent you.” Yan Qingzhu lifted her chin slightly, her eyes scanning the woman up and down as she spoke humorously: “Tell me, what business brings President Wang here in person?”

“I am your mother. Can I not come back?” Wang Ranping instinctively slammed her hand on the table. Her roar carried a hint of trembling, but even more than that, it carried a sense of grievance. “Your heart is as poisonous as your father’s. You both want to kill me, don’t you?”

Hearing this, Yan Qingzhu let out a scoff and then laughed so hard she couldn’t straighten her back.

“Ooh, if only I were actually the seed of the man you’re talking about,” Yan Qingzhu laughed, then suddenly lowered her voice.

“But you should say those words to Yan Yu. After all, she is the ‘genuine’ one.”

Genuine. This word had pierced through the first ten years and the subsequent seven years of Yan Qingzhu’s life. Once, she truly believed she was unique and irreplaceable. But as luck would have it, she was the real fake, a massive mistake.

And this mistake was something that could never be rectified, destined to accompany her for the rest of her life. This pain was like a dagger through the heart, coated in regret, resentment, and despair.

With every passing year, that dagger grew an inch longer. It reminded Yan Qingzhu of how she was barely surviving, watching herself being dissected as bloody scabs were torn open and sewn back together, over and over, with no end in sight.

Yan Qingzhu approached Wang Ranping, bringing her face close to the other’s line of sight. Wang Ranping couldn’t help but shudder. She only heard a calm and suppressed sigh: “President Wang, take a good look. Which part of me looks like that man?”

She didn’t.

Not a single part.

The thick eyebrows and sharp brow peaks were exquisite, and the eyes beneath were like deep ink that wouldn’t dissipate. One glance could easily mistake her for a passionate soul.

But Yan Qingzhu was clear-headed; she was out of place in this family’s mold. Now, this woman intended to use outdated family discipline to train her. She recalled how in her childhood, even the slightest mistake required her to stay indoors and copy books. But now, she truly could not bring herself to kneel and listen like she did when she was small.

Wang Ranping stared at her, her voice trembling, as the smell of tobacco filled every nerve of the person in front of her.

“Yan Qingzhu, you are truly selfish.”

Yan Qingzhu, you truly deserve this.

Yan Qingzhu remained exceptionally calm, like a pool of stagnant water. There was no trace of panic or unease in her gaze; it was devoid of any breath of life.

Wang Ranping, did I say something you didn’t want to hear?

She had lost count of how many times she had heard this sentence, and she had forgotten when the last time was.

It was just that every time she faced this same person—when the woman tried to be overbearing, tried to use words to drive someone to their death, tried to watch the person in front of her flee with their tail between their legs—she would hear this sentence in the end. Yet from beginning to end, she still didn’t know what this sentence actually meant.

Yan Qingzhu’s lips parted slightly as she slowly exhaled a sentence.

“Mom, you always say I’m selfish. But I wish I were truly selfish.”

Whom should I live for? For myself?

From childhood to adulthood, she had lived according to the consciousness of others. She had to say words that made others comfortable, avoid doing things that made others feel awkward or lose face, and live for others without a trace of self-interest—a sophisticated altruist. In the end, all she got was the useless title of being “obedient and sensible.”

And then?

They wanted her to be submissive and yield. They wanted her to give up the right to speak that she should have as a human being, to weaken the aggression she should have to fight for her own interests.

Yan Qingzhu could no longer go back to being herself.

Yan Qingzhu fell silent for a moment, her head drooping. Her thin, harsh features were deep, but her voice was firm and powerful: “I have nothing, and I want nothing.”

She spoke these words very seriously.

But in the next second, she went back on her word.

“I am nothing more than a mistake you committed,” Yan Qingzhu said in a low voice. The strands of hair over her forehead hid the slight trembling in her pupils. It was as if a massive force was stripping away her reason and dignity.

Not all mistakes can be forgiven.

“Hey, do we have to hand in the math workbook tonight?” Qin Jiahui nudged Luo Mu with her elbow.

Luo Mu just nodded. She hid her phone in her backpack, glanced at a new notification, and then looked at Qin Jiahui: “Which period of evening self-study is this?”

“The second period.” Qin Jiahui looked up at the clock, then saw the reflection of the screen on Luo Mu’s glasses and burst out laughing: “What’s this? How come the ‘good student’ isn’t afraid of the teacher using a detector to catch you?”

Luo Mu let out a confused “Huh?” before finally grasping what she meant. The most complained-about thing in this school was the irregular phone inspections. Usually, if you heard noise from a distant classroom during self-study, you could guess an inspection was happening. Sometimes they would use a detector to scan everyone, and every time this happened, a whole bunch of bizarre and ridiculous phone hiding spots would emerge.

“I’ll specifically scan you later.” Qin Jiahui mimicked the way the teacher held the detector, rubbing it all over Luo Mu.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP.”

“Hey, Student Qin, show some self-respect.” Luo Mu pinched her arm. “Nip that thought in the bud.”

Luo Mu: “I’m leaving after the third period.”

Qin Jiahui: “Why? Aren’t you going to stay and struggle until the last moment with me?”

Luo Mu looked at the girl’s melancholic eyes and gave a mischievous grin: “Because I finished the math workbook.”

Back then, the hardest hurdle of self-study was always the math exercise book. If the math homework was done, it meant all other problems weren’t problems at all.

“Holy crap, you solved question 12?” Qin Jiahui marveled. “Why did that question decide to give up on life?”

Luo Mu marked the diagram with a pencil. “Here, and here. Connect the auxiliary lines.”

“Once they’re connected, it ‘opens up’.” Luo Mu closed her fingers and then slowly spread them, like a flower bud blooming. “It opened up.”

Qin Jiahui closed her hand and teased: “Don’t say it. I’m closed off.”

Luo Mu looked at her silly friend and turned her gaze back to her phone screen.

Q: When is evening self-study over?

Lomo: I plan to head back after the third period.

Q: Why not come play with me?

Luo Mu stared at the screen and chuckled. Not in school all day… was it just to go play? The young miss really has too much time on her hands.

Lomo: So where are you?

Q: Under a tree.

Luo Mu immediately turned off the screen and cursed softly. Of course, saying one more word is a waste.

“BEEP.” Qin Jiahui poked Luo Mu’s left waist. Luo Mu instinctively blocked it.

Luo Mu stared at her blankly.

Qin Jiahui: “Give me some reaction.”

Luo Mu gave a mock “Ah.”

Qin Jiahui: “You perfunctory monster.”

Luo Mu laughed and looked at the new message popping up on the screen.

Q: Jiuhu Park, far left, there’s a lake.

Luo Mu recalled the surrounding buildings. She hadn’t been to this address, but based on the location, it was near the Yueshi area.

Damn it, what a scoundrel, she really knows how to pick a spot.

Q: From here to Nanming, it’s less than a fifteen-minute walk.

Lomo: Sneaky.

Just as Yan Qingzhu had said, the location wasn’t exactly remote. Luo Mu checked the time; there weren’t many people around, making it quite suitable for some “leisurely elegance.”

Does Yan Qingzhu actually like leisurely elegance?

She couldn’t tell.

The streetlights were dim, and the road along the way was long. After walking for what felt like a long time, Luo Mu finally breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the lakeside.

The person was lying on a wooden bench, and there was indeed an ancient pagoda tree behind her. Her whole body was slumped on the bench, lazy and comfortable, completely unguarded. It truly gave one the urge to take advantage of the situation and throw her directly into the lake just to watch her struggle.

Luo Mu approached. The faint light made the person’s features appear more three-dimensional; the silver earring from before sparkled on the outer edge of her ear like an elf’s. Her lashes were thick and long, with a beautiful curve. The smell of alcohol on her was somewhat pungent. Luo Mu wondered what kind of troubles this person had that were worth drowning her sorrows alone here.

“Why don’t you just drink yourself to death,” Luo Mu “tsked.”

Yan Qingzhu heard some movement, let out a grunt, and slowly opened her eyes, searching: “Luo Mu?”

Luo Mu sat down beside her, watching as she slowly sat up and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Luo Mu’s voice was gentle and delicate: “You’ve been drinking?”

Yan Qingzhu’s eyes held a hint of a smile. Under the light, her gaze carried a hazy sense of brokenness, like the endless struggle and pain in the depths of a whirlpool.

In Ye Nanqiao’s words, those eyes looked affectionate even when looking at a dog.

After a long while, Yan Qingzhu finally spoke: “Drank a bit with some people. I let them dump me here.”

Luo Mu was confused: “Why? Waiting for someone to pick you up and take you home?”

“In a way,” Yan Qingzhu laughed. “If no one comes to pick me up, I’ll just stay here and rot, and stink.”

Luo Mu burst out laughing, remembering how different the person’s demeanor was this morning compared to now. Indeed, women are strange creatures.

The two were silent for a moment. Luo Mu swung her feet, thinking of saying something.

Yan Qingzhu said calmly: “Was Biology difficult today?”

“Hormonal regulation. Not hard,” Luo Mu replied. “Is Student Yan also afraid of difficulty?”

“Yes.” Yan Qingzhu looked up, the glow of the streetlight making her expression look blurry, yet she could still smile frankly: “There are plenty of things I’m afraid of.”

Plenty of things I’m afraid of. Perhaps she was too good at hiding her true thoughts, so much so that people would mistakenly think Yan Qingzhu’s life had always been vast and boundless. Perhaps sometimes it really wasn’t intentional; she didn’t want those people to know all her wretchedness and pain.

But the more it was like this, the more she trapped herself in a vicious circle, and the more she could see her own true nature—knowing exactly what kind of mess she was.

Yan Qingzhu, you truly deserve this.

Yan Qingzhu: “Then do you remember what was taught?”

Luo Mu was stunned by the question. After a few seconds, she spat out: “Growth hormone secreted by the pituitary gland and thyroid hormone secreted by the thyroid gland both promote growth and metabolism.”

Yan Qingzhu hadn’t really wanted to hear the academic points, but she hadn’t expected the person to actually answer.

She saw the person in front of her suddenly cover her face and giggle. Luo Mu’s complex emotions surged—a mixture of inexplicable shame and subtle anger: “No, what are you laughing at?”

“Am I just your comedy routine?” Seeing her laughing without regard for her image, Luo Mu stood up in a huff: “If you laugh again, you can just rot and stink right here.”

“Would Sister Muzi have the heart?” The person on the bench asked back, her eyes full of mirth.

Luo Mu stood up, feeling like she had lost face because of the other’s teasing. Just as she was about to leave, she suddenly felt her right wrist pulled by an external force, making her unable to move. In that moment of silence, Luo Mu turned back. Yan Qingzhu met her with a smile, showing no sign of someone asking for a favor.

Luo Mu narrowed her eyes, adding a bit of banter: “I see you’re talking quite smoothly and your thoughts are clear. You’re not drunk at all.”

What, is Great Miss Yan trying to scam me?

Yan Qingzhu pretended to be aggrieved, softening her voice: “I really can’t walk.”

Yan Qingzhu pulled, her grip slowly tightening. Her palm could encircle the other’s wrist, and she realized the wrist was even thinner than she had imagined. She intended to stand up, but her legs had no strength; she stumbled a few steps. Seeing this, Luo Mu instinctively tried to support her with her body, but the person leaned back slightly and sat back down on the bench.

Luo Mu said huffily: “Are you really playing me?”

Yan Qingzhu waved her hand, her tone humorous: “If I really fell, could your tiny frame even catch me?”

Luo Mu muttered: “I should have just watched you fall flat on your face.”

Yan Qingzhu laughed to herself. Propping up her chin, she happily whispered four words:

“Prickly little hedgehog.”

Luo Mu was disdainful, deeply doubting whether this person was seventeen or seven years old. Not wanting to bicker further, she threw out a random question: “Is really no one coming to pick you up?”

Yan Qingzhu was exceptionally composed. Although the alcohol had numbed some of her senses, she could vaguely see a familiar figure behind Luo Mu. She tilted her chin slightly, gesturing to Luo Mu.

“Look, someone’s here to pick me up.”