Good Night, Brother! - Chapter 4.9

“And Yi Hyeon too! I was living alone, and suddenly I have to share my space with him. Couldn’t you at least ask if it’s been difficult for me? Even as a courtesy?”

“….”

“It’s always about Yi Hyeon, Yi Hyeon, Yi Hyeon! Do you even care how I feel? Am I even your real son? Sometimes, it feels like I’m not.”

His breathing was ragged, and his heart pounded like a drum. He hadn’t lashed out at anyone like this in years. After pouring out his anger, guilt started to creep in. Did I go too far?

There was only silence on the other end of the line. Eun Hyun didn’t say anything more, and the quiet stretched on, filled only with faint breaths.

“…Eun Hyun.”

“…Yeah.”

His mother’s subdued voice seemed to temper his emotions.

“I didn’t know you felt so hurt.”

How could you not know? You’re an adult, a parent.

Eunhyun’s lips pressed into a pout, his resentment still lingering. He heard his mother sigh deeply on the other end.

“Eunhyun.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

Her single apology hit him like a lump lodged in his throat.

“Oh dear, I just remembered I left something on the stove. I’ll call you again, okay?”

Her voice wavered slightly at the end—was it just his imagination? Eun Hyun held the phone to his ear even after the call ended, blinking in a daze. It was the first time he had poured out his frustrations and the first time he’d ever heard his mother apologize.

He recalled a moment in his teenage years when his rebellious streak peaked. He had considered running away, imagining that his parents would reflect on their neglect, regret their actions, and welcome him back with open arms, apologizing tearfully. But the subdued apology he had just received felt far from satisfying.

Dinner no longer appealed to him. Eun Hyun retreated to his room, wrapped himself in his blanket, and lay on his side. His emotions churned.

At some point, he must have dozed off because he woke to the sensation of someone touching his cheek and stroking his hair. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw Yi Hyeon crouched beside the bed, meeting his gaze with a smile.

“Hyung, are you already going to sleep?”

“No… I was just lying down and must’ve dozed off. What time is it?”

“Eight-thirty. Did you eat dinner, Hyung?”

“No, I’m not really hungry.”

His body felt heavy and lethargic, as though he could drift back to sleep instantly. Eun Hyun gazed at Yi Hyeon with a tired, unfocused expression.

Yi Hyeon’s smile faded as he tilted his head slightly, studying him.

“…Hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re upset about something, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“You look upset.”

How did he know? Yi Hyeon had always been eerily perceptive. Eun Hyun tried to brush it off.

“I’m fine.”

“That’s a lie.”

“….”

“Is there anything you want to eat?”

“No. I told you, I’m not hungry.”

“How about I heat up some fried soboro from the freezer? You can have it with milk.”

“I said I’m not hungry. How many times do I have to tell you?”

“Even so, you should eat something. You’ll feel better if you do.”

“I said no. Eating now would just upset my stomach.”

“….”

“Jeong Yi Hyeon. I… I just want to be alone for a while.”

“…Alright.”

Surprisingly, Yi Hyeon left without further protest, quietly closing the door behind him. As soon as the door clicked shut, Eun Hyun let out a long sigh that filled the room.

Eun Hyun was scrolling through celebrity gossip articles on his phone, entirely unrelated to his life, when a notification buzzed in.

Mom: Eun Hyun, I’ve been thinking a lot since yesterday…

The two small characters for “Mom” displayed on the notification bar made Eun Hyun furrow his brow slightly. With a sigh of concern, he tapped on it, revealing a long message.

Mom:

Eunhyun, I’ve been thinking a lot since yesterday, and I feel like there are parts where your dad and I haven’t been attentive enough to you. Honestly, you’re already 25, so I think it’s time to be open with you. The truth is, I’m still a bit uncomfortable with Yi Hyeon. Even though he seems mature on the surface, there’s something about him that’s hard to figure out, don’t you think? You know what I mean, right…?

Jung Yi Hyeon could indeed be a bit inscrutable. Eunhyun hadn’t realized it much when they were younger, but lately, the word “enigmatic” felt like it was coined specifically for his younger brother. Even so, he was completely unprepared for his mother admitting she felt uneasy around Yi Hyeon. His eyes widened in surprise.

…Your dad and I weren’t ready to take on the responsibility of raising Yi Hyeon, so I think we made many mistakes with both of you. Since he lost his parents at such a young age, we were constantly worried about what might happen to him. That’s why we spent so much time and energy taking care of him. It’s true. We also hoped you would be a dependable older brother, someone he could lean on and who could be a strong presence for him. Looking back, though, I realize that you were still young yourself and needed our attention too. Maybe we placed too much responsibility on you because you’re our biological child, someone we instinctively leaned on more than we should have…

This is too much…

Eunhyun’s frown deepened as he continued reading.

…When I heard the question about whether you’re really our biological son, I was shocked. It made me realize how hurt you must have been. Eunhyun, even after you moved to Seoul on your own, you’ve always handled everything so well. You even secured a great job during such a challenging time. I’ve always been so proud of you, but maybe because you’re my son, I felt embarrassed to express it directly. You know how I speak coldly to your grandparents, right? That’s just how I am. But I’ll try harder from now on. Even though it’s early spring, the weather is still chilly, so dress warmly and eat well. I hope you have a safe and peaceful day. With love, Mom.

This is so unfair, pulling something like this on my way to work…

Eunhyun’s eyes burned as his emotions welled up. He sniffled, and the person crammed next to him on the packed subway flinched, probably thinking he had a cold.

‘I shouldn’t cry on the subway. I’ll look ridiculous.’

But the moisture in his reddened eyes refused to stay hidden, and Eunhyun had to awkwardly wipe away tears in the crowded subway car.

All the resentment he had buried over the years melted away like snow in spring, revealing the longing he’d kept suppressed.

‘I miss Mom and Dad…’

Throughout the day, Eunhyun found himself repeatedly revisiting the message, smiling to himself each time. He especially lingered on the part about being proud of him for handling life on his own and getting a job during tough times. The more he read, the more he missed his parents. He decided he’d visit Daejeon soon and spend the night at home.

When he got home after work, the place felt cold and empty. It was almost 7 PM, and Yi Hyeon wasn’t back yet. He had been thinking about ordering Chinese food to share, but now he wondered when Yi Hyeon would return. Eunhyun dialed his number.

“Hello?”

The sound of people talking and laughing noisily filled the background.

“Hey, Jeong Yi Hyeon. When are you coming home?”

“Ah, I meant to text you, but I got caught up. I’ll be late again tonight.”

“Really? Are you coming back after dinner?”

“Yeah. We’re at a bar now for the semester opening party.”

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