Frivolous - Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“Teacher Yu, I… I didn’t…” I didn’t try to provoke anyone else.

Yu Lanzhou withdrew her hand. Looking at the innocent expression on the girl’s face, she asked, “How do you know Qu Bai?”

“It was from that music variety show before.”

“Do you have her contact information?”

“Huh? No, no.” Chen Ran couldn’t immediately grasp why she was asking this.

Yu Lanzhou held her palm upward.

This time, Chen Ran understood; Yu Lanzhou was checking if she and Qu Bai had been in private contact. She unlocked her phone and placed it in Yu Lanzhou’s palm, saying, “The password is 880916.” Your birthday.

Yu Lanzhou gave no reaction. She didn’t actually flip through the phone; she merely picked it up, glanced at it, and pressed the screen to turn it off. She was only testing whether Chen Ran would surrender the device.

A trace of disappointment flashed in the depths of Chen Ran’s eyes. If Yu Lanzhou had looked, she would have seen the heart Chen Ran had laid bare for her, beating vividly and passionately.

“Why has your gaze dimmed?” Yu Lanzhou caught that trace of disappointment and asked, “Chen Ran, what do you take me for?” Those two words Chen Ran had called out that night continued to weigh on her mind.

Yu Lanzhou understood clearly: the gap was fifteen years, not five. She wasn’t sure if Chen Ran understood that, or perhaps understood it too well.

“It hasn’t dimmed.” Chen Ran’s heart tightened. She rushed to explain, to prove herself. “I think of you as my lover. As the person I love.”

The words felt too pale. Anxious, Chen Ran tried to lean in close again. But she was brushed aside by Yu Lanzhou.

“As a lover? Is that truly what you think in your heart?” Her tone was flat, making it impossible to tell where the emphasis lay.

Chen Ran fell silent. The word “lover” was, perhaps, too heavy. She had never felt worthy of it.

The sudden silence caught Yu Lanzhou off guard. She thought Chen Ran would at least pretend—that she would say she loved her so the game could continue.

“No answer?” A breath of agitation swirled in Yu Lanzhou’s chest. Steadying her trembling right hand, she said in a low voice, “Then let’s see what a lover would do to you. Let’s see what I will do to you.”

Chen Ran’s breathing grew ragged.

Yu Lanzhou’s fingertips lightly flicked open Chen Ran’s jacket. Her hand reached toward her chest, sliding the shirt away. “Would Chen Xi do this?” Her palm pressed against the skin of Chen Ran’s arm, moving up to the shoulder and gripping it firmly. Two red marks immediately appeared on the pale skin, only to fade quickly.

Chen Ran shook her head.

She heard Yu Lanzhou say, “This is your punishment regarding Chen Xi.”

Chen Ran felt aggrieved. Deeply aggrieved. Beyond aggrieved. She only refrained from defying Chen Xi because she was the teacher Yu Lanzhou had found for her. She had tried her absolute best to control the distance between them. Chen Xi was definitely doing it on purpose. That bad woman.

“Is it not? She wouldn’t do this to you?”

“Then what about this.” She casually picked up the conductor’s baton nearby and pressed it against Chen Ran’s lips, signaling for her to open up.

Chen Ran instinctively opened her mouth to take the right end of the baton. She stared blankly at Yu Lanzhou’s hand as it reached toward her left cheek, her breath hitching. She felt her cheek being pinched between Yu Lanzhou’s curved fingers and shaken slightly—a warning.

Yu Lanzhou’s voice was low and husky as she whispered near her ear, “This is your punishment regarding Su Ping’an.”

Just passing a biscuit, and yet you managed to kiss.

Only after hearing this did Chen Ran belatedly realize: Yu Lanzhou was possessive. Before, it was because she didn’t belong to her; now that she did, the tip of the iceberg of Yu Lanzhou’s emotions was beginning to surface.

Chen Ran suddenly felt her cheek burning where it had been pinched. It carried a bit of pain, but more than that, it felt… thrilling. She… loved it.

When Yu Lanzhou was angry, her eyes narrowed into a deep, dark river. This river meandered, wanting to entwine her. Chen Ran willingly and happily let herself be submerged by the water.

While her mind was in a daze, Yu Lanzhou’s lips brushed against hers as she held the baton. Then she pulled back, her slender fingers moving the baton back and forth inside Chen Ran’s mouth.

When the baton finally fell onto the soft carpet, Yu Lanzhou asked in a hoarse voice, “Is this necessary for playing a game?”

Chen Ran truly couldn’t take it anymore. The desire that had long been stirred hit her like a tidal wave. She reached out helplessly to grab Yu Lanzhou’s shoulders, only to be pushed away with force.

Yu Lanzhou’s voice shifted back to the cold tone she used for everyday speech. “I’m not touching you. Do it yourself.”

The words struck Chen Ran’s heart like a bolt of lightning. The bit of “thrill” she felt instantly vanished. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to become that kind of person or do such things in front of Yu Lanzhou.

But Yu Lanzhou was making her.

The flush on Chen Ran’s face gradually receded. She knelt limp on the carpet, her hand tentatively reaching down, entering with difficulty. The passion from moments ago cooled bit by bit under the cold command. She bit her lip, not making a single sound.

Yu Lanzhou leaned down from her height, using her index finger to tilt Chen Ran’s chin up. “Tell me, is this your first time?”

“Yes…” Chen Ran deliberately turned her face away, but it was forced back.

Yu Lanzhou looked her straight in the eye and asked in a very soft voice, “In this moment, who are you thinking of?”

“Su Ping’an, Qu Bai, Chen Xi…” Yu Lanzhou recited the names one by one, watching for every shift in Chen Ran’s expression. Finally, she even mentioned… “Yu Zhou.”

Chen Ran held her tears in her eyes. “None of them.” It’s you. It’s only ever you. I’m thinking of when you loved me tenderly before.

“Chen Ran, don’t forget who you belong to.” Her hand gripped Chen Ran’s neck, as if she intended to choke her into submission. “Tell me, do you love me?”

Chen Ran’s face quickly flushed a deep red, like a blood moon. In this moment, she only wanted to place herself in a safe position. Where did she have the confidence to speak of love or lack thereof? Such words were not something she felt worthy of blurting out to Yu Lanzhou. At least not right now, not while she was in this state.

For one moment, pride took the upper hand. She gritted her teeth tightly, not saying a single word.

Yu Lanzhou stared at her for a dozen seconds. When she didn’t hear the words she wanted, she felt a profound disappointment.

Say you love me. Why won’t you say you love me anymore? Why don’t you cry and beg me, lying beneath me like the moon returning to the tide?

She needed to think. Think about whether she should admit that Chen Ran was a mistake.

Yu Lanzhou let go and said to Chen Ran, “Stop.”

Chen Ran stopped. She knelt on the ground until her breathing leveled out, and then she said the words “I love you” with total sincerity. Her eyes were thick with a sense of grievance.

Yu Lanzhou pulled a thin blanket and threw it over Chen Ran. Without looking at her again, she walked out of the room.

Chen Ran didn’t get up to follow. She was wondering why Yu Lanzhou had suddenly lost her temper. Tonight, beyond the possessiveness, Yu Lanzhou seemed to be angry about something else, but Chen Ran didn’t know what it was.

Yu Lanzhou wanted her to love her, but Chen Ran felt she wasn’t worthy of loving her. What if she had more weight? If she wrote more songs, participated in more shows, and did more performances? Would she then be able to pour out all her love without a moment’s hesitation the next time Yu Lanzhou asked?

She suddenly had a grand dream: she wanted it so that in the future, when people mentioned Yu Lanzhou, they would also remember that there was a very famous singer who liked her very much, who loved her dearly.

Chen Ran talked herself through it. She silently dressed, washed her hands, and added a new song to her playlist named “LZ”—the New Pants band’s I Love You. Then she sent a carefully considered message to Yu Lanzhou:

Teacher Yu, are you angry because I didn’t say ‘I love you’ immediately? Teacher Yu, I felt a little aggrieved at first. I didn’t proactively try to get close to Teacher Chen Xi; I don’t know what she told you, so I felt a bit hurt. When you asked me, I felt I wasn’t worthy of saying I love you. Can you wait for me? Wait for me to become a bit more impressive, so I’m qualified to say those three words to you.

Teacher Yu, I’m going back to Beijing tomorrow morning. I’ll come back for Yu Zhou’s birthday on July 12th, okay?

After sending the message, Chen Ran found a slim cigarette she had hidden in her suitcase. She pulled it out but didn’t smoke it, instead crushing the tobacco between her fingertips. Simultaneously, she recorded the words flooding her mind:

Hope, despair, hope.

She sent a message to Xiao Jiahe: Sis, help me buy the rights to a song.

Chen Ran acted first and reported later. Not long after, she uploaded a cover video of that song to social media. In the video, she was still wearing her “leaving work” clothes from the music festival. There was a smear of red at the corner of her eyes, and her orange guitar clearly showed the number 23.

“I love you, I’m always afraid I won’t see you…”

Her emotions overflowed fiercely as she sang. Her fans were worried, speculating wildly in private. Some even sent private messages to Xiao Jiahe. Xiao Jiahe didn’t dare say anything; she only hoped this “ancestor” would get what she wished for as soon as possible.

Only when the night wind blew across Yu Lanzhou’s face did she snap back to reality and realize what she had done.

The root of it all was those two words Chen Ran had called out unconsciously. Qu Bai, Chen Xi, and Su Ping’an were just diversions to hide the real reason for her anger.

And there was another thing. Chen Ran’s hesitation was one factor, but the other was herself. In the short time she had spent with Chen Ran, she had actually begun to consider the fifteen-year gap between them because of her. It was a bit ridiculous. She had actually let a “child” stir up such massive emotions.

Yu Lanzhou couldn’t quite understand herself, or rather, she was unwilling to admit it. But none of this was Chen Ran’s fault; it shouldn’t have been her reason to punish her.

Over the next few days, Chen Ran continued to send messages. Sometimes it was a photo of a bird flying by, sometimes a kitten, sometimes a snippet of a new melody. As usual, she didn’t miss a single day.

When Yu Zhou’s birthday arrived, Chen Ran used it as an excuse to return to Hanglin after finishing her lessons with Chen Xi. She had messaged Yu Lanzhou beforehand: I’m coming to Hanglin for Yu Zhou’s birthday, is that okay?

Yu Lanzhou never replied. Not daring to act rashly, Chen Ran asked Xu Wan and received an affirmative answer.

Chen Ran arrived at the Yu estate with a carefully prepared gift. She first stole a glance upstairs. Yu Zhou noticed, squeezed out from the group of friends who had come for her birthday, and said, “She’s at Yu Shen’s company.”

“Oh, okay.” Chen Ran rubbed her nose like a caught thief and said to Yu Zhou, “Happy Birthday!”

She remained distracted during the meal. Her mind was on the items she had brought from Beijing to Hanglin, wondering if she would be allowed to do what she planned. That night, after Yu Zhou went out with her friends, Chen Ran used the same excuse as before to leave the Yu estate and head to the Jiayuan Villa.

On the way, she messaged Yu Lanzhou:

Are you still angry with me? I’m sorry. I love you. Can I see you tonight? I’m at Jiayuan.

Yu Lanzhou received the message right after hanging up with Yu Zhou. She still couldn’t find a way to resolve her abnormal emotions. But she wanted to see Chen Ran. She wanted to see if the little cat had been heartbroken by her actions.

Inside the room, the moment Yu Lanzhou opened the door, she was pulled into a soft embrace, accompanied by the faint sound of bells. The familiar touch and scent prevented her from immediately pushing the person away.

Chen Ran’s clothes were thin and cool. Yu Lanzhou’s hands brushed against large areas of smooth, cream-like skin on her back and thighs. The room was bathed in dim, blurry light. As Yu Lanzhou reached out to find the light switch, Chen Ran’s lips swarmed over hers.

The girl swept through Yu Lanzhou’s mouth and breath without a word. Yu Lanzhou’s body immediately tensed. She cupped the back of Chen Ran’s head, instinctively seizing back control. Mouths melted, hearts melted, and everything felt fluid under her hands.

But the more they kissed, the more something felt wrong. Yu Lanzhou’s movements stiffened. She reached out and flipped the light switch.

“Put your clothes on and get out.”

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