Frivolous - Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Rather than a love letter, the brevity of its words and the nature of its confession made it look more like a final testament:

Living to this moment, I have to admit that I am a terrible person, an ignorant person, who presumed to struggle against fate.

Most moments of my life, I have been self-righteous, smug, and arrogant.

It was the same when I first tried to get close to you—I used a frivolous attitude.

Many times before, I thought it would be best if you never heard news of me again.

Everything about me had nothing to do with you; I was simply in despair over myself.

But now I think, I hope to have even a faint connection with you.

Even if I cannot be with you, if there is a next life, I would be content to be a single blade of grass beneath your feet. Or, if I may be greedier, to become a patch of green turf, just to let you step on me for one soft moment.

That moment would be my entire life and my entire spring.

You are a gentle and bright person.

My dearest love, I wish you happiness.

At this moment, Yu Lanzhou felt an immense regret for making Chen Ran change her phone. She also experienced, for the first time, a determination to keep someone by her side, even if it was through ignoble means.

“Mom,” Yu Zhou called through the door.

Yu Lanzhou stood up, opened the door, and asked, “What is it?”

“The more I think about it, the more I feel Sister might be in Hanglin. Can I go back there to try and find her? I’m afraid something might happen.”

At the words “something might happen,” Yu Lanzhou’s heart sank.

“Go. Let Auntie Liu go with you.”

“Okay, I got it.”

At 5:40 PM, Ruan Qinglu reported that she had found Chen Ran’s flight information: 6:30 PM, flying from Beijing to Hanglin. She was already heading to the airport with her team.

Around 7:00 PM, Xu Wan knocked on the study door and placed a stack of documents on the desk. “This is the information you requested.”

She stood with her hands clasped and reported: “Chen Ran arrived at the Hanglin Chunnan Welfare Home when she was six. The caregiver who has been there the longest said no one knows who her parents are. When she was dropped at the door, she was wearing a little dress and was freezing; she had on sandals, and sand could be shaken out of them.

She wouldn’t speak to anyone for days until she finally said her name was Chen Ran and she was six. When asked about her parents, she went silent again. No one has visited her in all these years. It’s suspected her parents… are dead, and she has no relatives. We’ve sent people to look in all relevant places in Hanglin.”

Yu Lanzhou listened quietly, catching one detail: sand in her shoes.

Hanglin was not by the sea; naturally, it had no beaches.

She suddenly remembered Chen Ran saying she wanted to see the sea. The sea in Linxi.

She didn’t know if Chen Ran really went to see the sea or had other intentions. Yu Lanzhou’s brow furrowed, her expression grave. She checked Chen Ran’s WeChat Moments and found that she had changed her signature at some point. It now read: “Life is but a bay of seawater.”

Chen Ran had an obsession with the sea the sea in Linxi. Why?

Yu Lanzhou had a slightly frightening theory. As she was thinking, the phone on the desk suddenly rang. Yu Lanzhou glanced at Xu Wan, who ran over, picked it up, and quickly handed it to her.

It was Chen Ran. She was returning the call.

“Where are you?” Yu Lanzhou asked immediately upon answering.

“Take a guess.”

Yu Lanzhou said in a cold voice, “Is your head clear right now? Come back immediately.”

Chen Ran didn’t listen. Instead, she said, “I’m not coming back. I don’t want to listen to you anymore. You let Zhou Jingting hear what I said. I’m hurting; I won’t listen to you.” Her tone sounded drunken.

A drunkard—there was no reasoning with her.

Yu Lanzhou had no choice but to restrain her frustration and ask softly, “Where are you going?”

“Take a guess.”

“Beijing.”

“No.”

“Hanglin.”

“Wrong.”

“Linxi.”

Chen Ran paused before answering, then said with a laugh, “No. Guess again.”

Yu Lanzhou didn’t indulge her further and hung up the phone without hesitation.

On the other end, Chen Ran looked at the screen of the disconnected call and smiled self-deprecatingly. She held the phone to her lips and whispered, “Can you… bestow it upon me again?” Just a little bit would be enough.

She had had a bit to drink at home. Her body felt heavy now. She curled up in her chair and refreshed the comments:

Our rock stars really are finding new ways to collapse their public image; how many more surprises does the ‘Emperor’ not know about?

Regardless of anything else, having a birth date like 5/14 (May 14th) is indeed a bit jinxed, isn’t it?

I believe in this. People with bad luck are fated poorly; they really can jinx others to death.

Chen Ran really spoils her anti-fans.

Chen Ran looked up at the evening glow, suddenly not knowing where she wanted to go, or where she could go.

She watched the flight tracker update: the 7:00 PM departure was delayed until 7:50 PM. Was the flight delay a sign telling her not to leave at this time? In truth, delay or not, she wouldn’t see the daylight of Linxi.

She suddenly felt hungry, and her face was flushed. She curled up in a corner away from the air conditioning, wearing her baseball cap. Her frustration peaked because she had brought the wrong wired headphones. Without music and without love, she felt she was truly going to die.

Because of the delay, passengers stood up in small groups and flocked to the boarding gate to demand an explanation. Chen Ran thought helplessly: Before I starve to death, I still have to reach my destination.

She stood up, looked around, walked to a vending machine, and bought a bag of honey butter fries. Standing by the window, she tore open the bag and began to eat, unconcerned with her image.

After hanging up, Yu Lanzhou looked at her phone for a moment and said to Xu Wan, “Book me a ticket.”

“To where?”

“Linxi.”

“How do you know she’s in Linxi?”

“Her tone.”

When Chen Ran replied “No,” she had been very blunt, so it wasn’t Beijing. The flight from Beijing to Hanglin hadn’t been delayed and had taken off normally; Chen Ran couldn’t have called her from the air, so Hanglin was out. However, the 6:30 PM flight to Linxi was delayed for nearly an hour due to weather.

She would take the gamble.

“Are you going yourself?”

Yu Lanzhou replied curtly, “Mhm. I think I know what she meant by ‘life is but a bay of seawater’.”

As Xu Wan was packing a small suitcase for her, Yu Tingzhou walked in. She had also heard about Chen Ran’s disappearance and came to see how Yu Lanzhou would react.

Seeing Xu Wan with the suitcase, Yu Tingzhou went straight to the study. As soon as she sat down, she asked, “Sister, where are you going?”

“Linxi.” Yu Lanzhou was buried in a travel guide app on her iPad, her head down. She was using a stylus to circle and compare a few scenic spots, trying to guess which beach Chen Ran would go to.

“To find Chen Ran? Is it worth it? That girl is so beautiful doesn’t she have a boyfriend? Even if not, she probably has some other wealthy CEO. Sister, it’s really not worth your effort.”

She felt a sense of injustice and confusion. It was as if Yu Lanzhou had been bewitched setting aside Zhou Jingting, whom she had known for over twenty years, to go coax a brat. No matter how well Chen Ran sang, it shouldn’t be enough for her to abandon Zhou Jingting.

“Try saying one more word like that,” Yu Lanzhou said, setting down her pen. Her eyelids lowered, a coldness surfaced at the corners of her mouth, and her thin lips parted as Yu Tingzhou heard her continue: “If Chen Ran had ever harbored a single thought like that, or taken one wrong step, she wouldn’t have ended up in such a miserable state.”

Yu Tingzhou’s breath hitched. She rarely saw Yu Lanzhou like this. Although Yu Lanzhou was always cold toward outsiders, she usually looked at Yu Tingzhou with warmth. It had never been as icy as it was now.

Yu Tingzhou felt a bit aggrieved. What makes Chen Ran so special? How can she make Yu Lanzhou treat me this way?

She nodded her head twice, her heart trembling. “Fine, assuming she never had those intentions. But how do you know she doesn’t have those intentions toward you? Think about it how many people are waiting for a chance to crawl into your bed?”

When emotions flared, Yu Tingzhou would occasionally speak without thinking. This was one of those times. In her eyes, Chen Ran was no different from all the other men and women who had tried to crowd around Yu Lanzhou, perhaps just a bit more calculating.

“Zhouzhou,” Yu Lanzhou sighed very faintly, using her sister’s nickname. She looked at her with a bitter smile and said, “I am already 36 years old. There was nothing between me and Zhou Jingting before, and there won’t be anything after. So, am I not allowed to have something with someone else?”

“Are you still acting out of spite against Professor Zhou?”

“It’s not spite. Some things, some people when you miss them, you’ve missed them.” Yu Lanzhou didn’t know how to explain to others that she wasn’t some deeply devoted, pining person. “Chen Ran’s mental state is not good. Just think of it as me going to save a life. Besides, she is Xiao Zhou’s sister. From my perspective, looking after her is perfectly fine.”

Yu Lanzhou knew she was being insincere again.

Yu Tingzhou wasn’t fooled by the second half of the explanation. She saw through it clearly. She rose from the sofa, walked to Yu Lanzhou, and leaned over with her hands on the mahogany desk. “But Sister, does Yu Zhou know? Does she know you’re going to Linxi alone to find Chen Ran? Do you realize that right now, you look like you’re about to hand yourself over… to her?”

Yu Lanzhou’s eyes narrowed slightly. She crossed her hands and leaned back into her chair in a completely relaxed posture. “Yu Tingzhou, do not presume to speculate about me.”

How could she not know she was about to hand herself over?

Yu Tingzhou looked at Yu Lanzhou’s expression—it was exactly the same as when she decided to adopt Yu Zhou. At that moment, she knew Yu Lanzhou’s mind was made up. No one could stop her.

“Understood.” Yu Tingzhou pulled her hands away. “I’m hungry. I’m going downstairs to find Mother Lin to make me dinner. Go ahead. But go with Xu Wan, otherwise I won’t be at ease.”

Ten minutes later, Yu Lanzhou left the study. As she went downstairs, she exchanged a glance with Yu Tingzhou in the living room; neither said another word.

Sitting on the plane to Linxi, Yu Lanzhou’s heart felt settled.

When she found Chen Ran that night, the younger woman was already dazed and drunk, sitting on a large rock by the beach. The lights here were sparse, but she could still see Chen Ran wearing her deep blue baseball cap. Her tattooed wrist held a bottle of “Wusu” beer, and her face and neck were flushed with a drunken red.

Distant ships glowed with faint lights, but the sea breeze was exceptionally violent. The pitch-black waves of late night crashed against the stone walls and the sand, layer by layer, as if to swallow everything.

Xu Wan watched from about ten meters away. She saw Yu Lanzhou brush a lock of hair behind her ear and bend down to take off her high heels, seemingly intending to walk barefoot across the sand toward Chen Ran.

Xu Wan’s eyes widened in disbelief. Before her brain could react, her legs were already running toward Yu Lanzhou. Breathless, she grabbed Yu Lanzhou’s arm to stop her. “Teacher Yu, I’ll go. I’ll go bring her back. You just stand here.”

“It’s fine.”

“There might be sharp objects in the sand,” Xu Wan said with a bitter smile. “Teacher Yu, I’d still like to keep this job.”

“Then I’ll wear my shoes. I’ll be careful.”

Seeing her soft gaze, Xu Wan didn’t insist further.

When Chen Ran inadvertently turned her head and saw Yu Lanzhou, the trembling starlight in her eyes shattered into tiny droplets that flooded out. Her rose-pink hair was damp with something unknown, and small strands at her temples clung to her sweaty neck and collarbone. She wore a loose, dark grey cotton T-shirt with a wide neckline that slipped to reveal half of a pale shoulder, and a pair of straight-leg low-rise black jeans over long, straight legs.

She closed her eyes, pressing her hot face into her palm, and then moved that hand up to her crying eyes. She was laughing and crying at once.

She was dreaming.

She set down the green glass bottle and used one hand to brace herself against the rock as she stood up slowly and with great difficulty, swaying precariously. She watched the person from her dream walk toward her step by step. Long curly hair and a white silk scarf around her neck were tossed by the wind, overflowing with tenderness.

Chen Ran waited until she was closer, looking again and again, her head lowered slightly, smiling shyly. She didn’t dare speak, afraid that if she opened her mouth, the dream would end.

Yu Lanzhou stood at the base of the rock. She looked up, and her voice like cold jade rang out, asking Chen Ran, “Do you want to drink more?”

It didn’t seem like a dream. Chen Ran nodded while crying.

“Drink when we get back. Come with me.” Yu Lanzhou reached out her hand.

Chen Ran placed her right hand in Yu Lanzhou’s palm and didn’t let go even after stepping down from the rock. “Where are you taking me?”

Yu Lanzhou withdrew her hand and instinctively pulled up the loose neckline of Chen Ran’s T-shirt. She stared at her and asked, “Where do you want to go drink?”

Before she could finish, she saw Chen Ran lift her right hand to her nose and sniff. With her eyebrows half-arched and tears welling in her eyes, she smiled and said, “So fragrant.”

“Where to?” Yu Lanzhou ignored the drunkard’s frivolity.

“Just any bar.”

Xu Wan parked the car outside a highly private establishment. Yu Lanzhou stayed in the car, and only Xu Wan followed Chen Ran inside. Chen Ran chose a hidden seat, tucked her long pink curls under her baseball cap, and drank cup after cup in the shadows.

Xu Wan watched her from a few meters away, occasionally shooing away people who tried to hit on her. In just a short time, Xu Wan had intercepted five people.

Half an hour later, Yu Lanzhou got out of the car and entered the bar. Under the dim, neon lights, she sat down beside Chen Ran. By now, Chen Ran looked much more dazed than before. Her face was so red it was hard to look at, as if that flush would burn straight into one’s heart.

What kind of courage does she have? To dare put herself in such a dangerous situation.

Yu Lanzhou’s narrow eyes squinted slightly, like a predator waiting for her prey to fall into the net. She asked, “Have you had enough?”

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