For the One Who Hates Me - Chapter 50

At the word “consort,” a flicker of unease crossed Aura’s eyes. The composure she had maintained until now wavered for a moment.

“Why? You don’t like it?” Karl asked, a faint smile on his lips.

Aura hesitated, as if searching for the right words. She finally managed to ask a difficult question. “…Are you attracted to her?”

“What if I am?”

Aura’s lips parted slightly. She let out a shallow sigh and clenched her fists. Karl forcibly pried her hands open. A film of sweat glistened on her small palms.

Karl asked relentlessly, “If I am, then what are you going to do?”

“…”

“Are you going to tell me you love me again this time?”

It was a playful jab that felt like a scratch to the heart. And Aura didn’t try to defend herself from the attack.

“No. If you want to get hit, then go ahead.”

A faint line appeared between Karl’s eyebrows. “Let’s go to bed.”

“…”

“You have to come and put me to sleep, Aura.”

“Karl, today-“

He knew what she was about to say. No, it was as if Karl could hear the voice in her mind.

Go back today. Sleep alone tonight. Leave me alone today. Because today, it’s difficult to pretend I’m okay. Today, I won’t let you see me flustered, Karl. Because I am slowly preparing to leave you.

To silence that voice, Karl kissed Aura. Aura immediately pushed his chest away. He detached her hands as if they were a splint and grabbed her wrists.

“!”

Aura was surprised to see how freely he moved his arm. And in that moment, Karl laid her down on the sofa.

“…Your shoulder…”

“It’s all healed. It’s been a few days now.” Karl took each of Aura’s hands and raised them above her head. The force with which he pinned them to the sofa was nearly identical. Aura tried to pull her hands away, but it was no use.

“Let go, Karl.”

“Aura. I will never let you collect all of Finn’s pieces.”

“…”

“In this game, you can never beat me.”

“…”

“Even if you deceive me a hundred times over, you… you can never win.”

Never, never, never. Those firm words slammed into Aura’s chest. Aura gritted her teeth and glared at him. Karl looked down at her and smiled.

“You didn’t even know my shoulder was healed. You’re so naive.”

“If you’re all better, then leave. There’s nothing more I can do for you.”

“…What if I don’t want to?”

Karl seemed to be teasing her. A feeling of humiliation made Aura’s chest rise and fall rapidly. She then blurted out something that seemed to surge from deep inside her.

“Do this to Elise instead.”

“What?”

“You said you’d take her as a consort. Do this to the woman you’re attracted to.”

Tears welled up in Aura’s eyes. It wasn’t from fear or humiliation. Karl could tell the difference.

Karl laughed, a hollow sound that showed his utter lack of understanding.

“You told me to take a consort if I wanted to.”

“…”

“Then why are you crying?”

The tears in the corners of her eyes silently flowed down her cheeks. Aura remained as silent as her tears. Karl couldn’t bear to hold her any longer. He finally let go of her hands and was about to help her up.

Tuck.

Aura slapped his hand away and turned over, facing the back of the sofa.

“Get out.”

Her gesture, as if she couldn’t bear to see him, made Karl feel a surge of anger. As he was about to get up and leave, as she wanted, he noticed the tear stains on her temple.

This is driving me crazy, seriously.

Karl used his thumb to wipe away the tears on her temple.

“I’ve never been attracted to her.”

“…”

“And I’m not going to take a consort.”

Aura still just stared at the back of the sofa. Karl truly couldn’t understand. Hadn’t she been crying because she didn’t want him to take a consort? Then she should have felt relieved now. Or she should have been angry at him for lying.

I’d get it if I knew what she wanted.

Karl picked Aura up. Even if he was leaving, he couldn’t leave her on the sofa.

Aura was carried to the bed like a doll. He laid her down and pulled the blanket over her. Aura turned her back to him again.

Karl stroked her shoulder once. He decided that any apology or conversation would have to wait until tomorrow.

As he turned to leave, he heard her tear-filled voice. “Because I thought you might.”

“What?”

“Because… I thought you might be attracted to Elise.”

“I told you clearly that I’m not-“

“I could tell just by the way you smiled.”

“…”

“She has something I’ve lost.”

“…”

“I think you noticed it, too, and…”

That’s why I cried. Aura swallowed the last words. She felt if she said them out loud, she would start crying again.

To put it cruelly, it was a form of inferiority. Or perhaps a longing and a sense of loss for a time she could never return to. These feelings would come flooding in every time she saw Elise’s lovely smile.

Aura felt that Karl must have felt the same way, or that he would someday.

Karl turned away without a word.

Click.

The bedroom door opened and closed. Aura curled up into an even smaller ball.

The Next Morning

Early in the morning, Aura was eating a simple breakfast at the table on the terrace. She was mechanically putting seasonal fruits, cheese, freshly baked bread, and coffee into her mouth.

The weather was very clear. The sun, which had become surprisingly strong lately, was warming her shoulders.

Knock, knock.

A knock sounded, and Minah came in.

“Your Majesty, today’s newspaper has arrived. Would you like it?”

“Yes, please.”

At Aura’s response, Minah glanced at her cautiously.

She seems a little down today.

Minah quickly came in, placed the newspaper on the table, and left.

Aura unfolded the newspaper. There were a variety of trivial articles. She chewed on a tomato, her face blank as she skimmed through them.

Then, her eyes landed on one article.

It was a list of new knights to join the Imperial Palace. At the end of the list of a dozen or so names was one that caught her eye.

[Emile Murin]

Could it be…

“Emile” was Ruan’s childhood nickname. In Zenia, children were called by their nicknames until their first birthday. This was because of the high infant mortality rate; they were only given proper names after that.

Murin is a name I don’t know. That means he’s not a high-ranking noble or a noble from the capital. I’ll have to look into it more, but it makes sense if Ruan changed his identity.

Aura folded the newspaper. As she was about to resume her meal, she suddenly remembered what happened at this time yesterday.

‘We’ll eat tomorrow.’

‘Huh?’

‘Breakfast. We can do it tomorrow.’

Karl had clearly said that as he stroked her hair. But that promise was broken.

And all this time, his shoulder had already been healed. Aura let out a small laugh in disbelief. But the laugh immediately faded.

She looked out at the distance, at the Imperial Palace grounds.

When Ruan arrives, I’ll make my move. To Sutra.

She had to leave this place as soon as possible. By staying so close to Karl, she had learned too many things she never needed to know.

Someone’s body she was slowly getting used to, despite her heart telling her otherwise. The way her heart sank when that body got injured. The regret that washed over her from not having breakfast together. An inferiority she had never felt in her life. The miserable sense of relief she felt when he said he wasn’t attracted to someone else.

Aura was determined to run away from all of it.

A Little Later

The weather quickly turned to early summer. Aura often took her work to the garden instead of her hot office.

Today, as Aura went to the garden with her documents, she was surprised to see something.

“What’s that?”

“Ta-da! Surprised?” Minah and the maids giggled.

Under the shade of a zelkova tree was a cozy-looking rocking chair. Aura, as if in a trance, walked over to it.

“You didn’t… you guys didn’t prepare for this, did you?”

“We did. You’ve been working in the garden every day lately. We thought this would be better than a hard tea table chair.”

“My goodness, thank you so much.”

“We’ll get you some cold tea. Go ahead and sit down.”

The maids’ eyes sparkled as they waited for Aura’s reaction. Aura sat in the rocking chair. It was fun to slowly rock back and forth, finding her balance. The thick cushion on the backrest made it feel soft and comfortable.

“This is so nice. I’ll have to do my work from here from now on.”

At her words, the maids were thrilled, as if they had accomplished a great feat.

Aura knew they had been trying hard to cheer her up lately. Just the fact that they never brought up Karl, who had stopped coming to her room, was a clear sign.

Minah brought a cold tea and placed it on the table. “Here’s your tea, Your Majesty. We’ll leave you to your work now.”

“Thank you, Minah.” Aura lightly held Minah’s wrist. Minah’s face turned red in embarrassment.

She wished she could take Minah with her to Sutra. But she didn’t know what might happen there. It wasn’t a place to bring a person who was the head of a household with three younger siblings.

I have to make sure Minah doesn’t get blamed when I leave the palace.

After the maids had left, Aura began to work. As she was going through the documents, she found something.

“A masquerade ball…”

The masquerade ball proposal that Theo had submitted was meticulous and detailed.

Theo is good at his job. He’s a good servant.

Aura read it, and an image of a masquerade ball came to mind. A chaotic ballroom on a dark night. The extravagant masks and costumes. Men and women exchanging glances in secret. The loud and boisterous music, more so than a regular ball.

It’s perfect for a summer night. If it’s a masquerade ball, maybe I could meet Karl, and he wouldn’t even recognize me.

As she was lost in thought, Aura’s eyes closed. Perhaps the shade was too cool. She felt herself drifting off to sleep.

How much time had passed? Aura’s body, which had been leaning back, slowly started to tilt forward. Feeling something was off, she opened her eyes.

“…Ah.”

Aura thought she was dreaming. Otherwise, Karl wouldn’t be standing right in front of her, looking at her.

Aura rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. Her blurry vision slowly came back into focus. But Karl was still there.

It had been so long since Aura had seen his eyes up close like this. Deep inside his dark eyes, bathed in the sunlight, there seemed to be a hint of purple.

He was holding down the armrests of the rocking chair, keeping it from moving. Holding the chair steady, Karl spoke.

“You’re awake.”

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