For the One Who Hates Me - Chapter 40

Aura felt her heart break. She had intentionally avoided saying those words ever since he had returned. Even in situations where she needed to attack him, she held them back. The pain of facing it was too much, and she, too, wanted to live as if it had never happened.

But it was too late. Hadn’t Karl just dug up a wound she had tried so hard to bury? He still knew nothing, and he hadn’t changed at all.

Karl asked, looking bewildered, “What did you just say…?”

“You sent a dagger to the soldiers guarding the northern tower and told them to kill me.”

Karl grabbed Aura’s arm and said clearly, “That’s not true.”

“…It’s not true?” she laughed bitterly.

“Can you prove it?”

“…”

“I can. The soldiers who were guarding the northern tower at the time. Shall we go together and ask them what orders you gave them?”

Karl’s face went completely pale, and he said nothing. His reaction was so painful that Aura covered her face with both hands and burst into tears. Tears streamed down her arms.

“Aura.”

Just as Karl was about to approach her, she muttered through her sobs, “Why did you do that…?”

She hit his chest with her fist. Karl was pushed back a step.

“…Because of that memory, I can’t forgive you.”

The truth she hadn’t known herself mixed with her sobs and came pouring out. It was the truth that had been hidden deep in her heart, struggling to stay buried.

Aura wiped her tears and took a deep breath. Having composed herself, she gave Karl a sarcastic smile.

“‘Rebirth’? You’ll build whatever I want?”

“…”

“Then dig a pit for me. So I can look into it whenever I want to die.”

“!”

“Because you’re the one making me want to die.”

Aura brushed past him and left the forest. Her fragile back disappeared into the trees.

Karl stood in that spot for a long time, unable to do anything.

The demolition of the northern tower was stopped.

Mina told her this, but Aura didn’t react. She had lost all will and just lay in bed all day.

Three days passed.

Aura still hadn’t left her bed. It would be more accurate to say that she couldn’t.

She had no desire to do anything. Not to hurt Karl, not to pretend to be strong, not to pretend she was fine, and maybe not even to find Pin. She seemed completely exhausted.

Mina cautiously entered the bedroom.

“Um… Your Majesty. You should eat something.”

She spoke with difficulty, but Aura didn’t even respond. Mina hesitated for a moment and then spoke again.

“Your Majesty, His Majesty the Emperor has sent a gift.”

“…”

“What… should I do with it?”

A cold, emotionless voice replied. “Throw it away.”

“But… it’s a difficult item to throw away…”

“…Then sell it.”

“That’s not easy, either.”

An item difficult to sell or throw away. One would think she would be curious, but Aura didn’t react. She frowned. Even Mina was annoying her now.

“Just… leave it and go.”

“Ah…! Yes, Your Majesty.”

Mina sighed in relief and opened the door. A long line of maids came in, carrying something and placing it down. Mina quickly led them out.

Soon, Aura smelled a familiar scent.

She stirred and got out of bed.

Whoosh!

She pulled back the curtains and opened the balcony door. When she turned back, the golden flowers in the room were blindingly beautiful.

Aura picked up one of the flower baskets. It was heavy.

She dumped all the flowers over the balcony railing.

Thud, thud, thud…

The flowers fell emptily to the ground below.

Empty flower baskets piled up on the balcony. Aura emptied the last flower basket. The garden below was covered in a mound of yellow flowers.

Aura looked at the scattered flowers and was about to leave the balcony. Just then, something was under her bare foot.

“…Ah.”

A single daffodil had somehow remained and not fallen outside. She bent down and picked up the daffodil. She was about to toss it out of the balcony without a second thought.

“…”

Aura looked at the daffodil and closed her eyes to smell it. It was faint, but even that single flower had a scent.

The garden in front of the main palace.

Theo and Josh stood there, not knowing what to do. In front of them was a pile of daffodils.

The Empress had apparently stopped eating completely. The palace doctor was frantic because she wasn’t in good health to begin with.

And she had thrown all the flowers the Emperor had sent over the balcony. This was not a normal situation.

And Karl was standing in front of that tragic flower grave. He gave a bitter smile and looked down at the daffodils.

Funnily enough, his chest still hurt from where Aura had hit him. It wasn’t a strong punch. This unfamiliar pain had pierced its way deep into his chest.

It was a pain he had never felt before. It seemed to come and go, but whenever it did, it would completely paralyze him.

‘No, maybe it wasn’t because of the punch.’

‘Because you’re the one making me want to die.’

Those words were stuck in his mind and wouldn’t leave. It was different from the lies or mockery Aura had used before. That phrase wasn’t full of thorns but of festering wounds.

When he first heard the story about the dagger, he was bewildered. If she thought he had tried to kill her, she should have confronted him the moment she saw him. Why had she put up with it all this time? Why had she kept it to herself if she was going to crumble like this in the end?

But when he saw her cover her face and cry, he thought he understood.

He understood what she had been thinking in the garden the night before. And what she had been about to say to him before holding it back.

Karl thought about the pain that was too much to even bring up.

‘…Because of that memory, I can’t forgive you.’

And despite that, she had still tried to forgive him.

How could he possibly explain himself or make excuses to such a heart? It would be so shameless.

Karl looked up at Aura’s room. Her eyes, which were slowly blinking, had dark circles under them. He hadn’t slept a wink for the past three days.

‘Yes. I’m shameless. But…’

“…I still have to save her.”

That night, Aura was still curled up in bed. A sliver of moonlight streamed in through a gap in the curtains and fell faintly on her bed.

Click.

The bedroom door opened without a knock. Only one person could open that door in that way at this hour.

Karl.

Aura closed her eyes.

Step, step, step.

Familiar footsteps approached the bed. She felt Karl’s presence as he sat on the bed. He sat there in the darkness for a long time.

A hesitant hand was placed on her back.

“I heard you threw away all the flowers.”

His voice was rough and cracked from fatigue and lack of sleep. Aura squeezed her eyes shut even tighter.

“There was a knight named Prit. When I went to Ancena to get you, he insulted you, and I kicked him out.”

“…”

“On the day I left for Devla three years ago… I happened to give him a dagger to deliver to you. Along with a message telling you to survive until I got back.”

“…”

“After I kicked him out, I found out he was a pure-blood supremacist.”

But it didn’t matter if he brought Prit back now. It would be too easy for Karl to make him lie. And Karl knew that well.

“I’m not asking you to believe me. It would be hard to.”

“…”

“But… even if you can’t ever forgive me, I won’t regret what I did. I won’t regret leaving you that way or giving you that sword.”

“…”

“Because you’re alive.”

Aura clenched the sheets. Karl stroked Aura’s arm, which had gotten even thinner.

“Aura. I’m a man who only knows how to think like this. But you always know a better way.”

“…”

“So please, as an act of charity, tell me. How can I make you feel better?”

Aura slowly turned her body around. Her pale arm grabbed the collar of Karl’s clothes and slowly pulled him down. Her dark eyes were heavily cast.

“…I won’t tell you.”

Her voice was like a rasping whisper.

“I won’t teach you how to properly love someone.”

In that moment, her eyes lit up with life. Even though he knew the life came from hatred, Karl thought her eyes were beautiful. And so, he realized with a certainty that gave him chills:

How much he truly loved this woman.

“If you don’t want to tell me, then tell me what you want. Anything, as long as it’s not you leaving.”

Aura looked at Karl as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“What I want?”

“Yes.”

Life sparked in Aura’s eyes again. She gripped Karl’s collar even tighter.

“Give me Pin.”

“…What?”

“Give me Pin right now.”

“…”

“You have it.”

She decided she wouldn’t be moving in secret anymore. He had what she wanted, and he wanted her. In the end, there might have only been one answer from the very beginning.

To take it by force.

Karl’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He took Aura’s hand that was gripping his collar.

“Do you really want that?”

“…Yes.”

Karl gently pulled her hand away and got up from the bed. Aura’s gaze followed him relentlessly, as if she wouldn’t miss this opportunity for anything.

He turned his back to her and was silent for a moment.

Then he spoke in a low voice, “Come to my room tomorrow morning. I’ll give you Pin.”

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