Find the One Who Abandoned Me - Chapter 108

“So, what are you saying?”

“You want revenge, and at the same time, you want to escape your family.”

Gillan remained silent but looked at Calliope, waiting for her to go on. Her voice was calm and steady, but firm.

“I can show you a way to achieve both.”

“And what way is that?”

“By getting engaged to Lady Berchia.”

He said nothing at first. He simply looked at her quietly.

“I didn’t expect you to say that.”

Calliope paused. That reaction was unexpected. In the past, Gillan had been engaged to Berchia. The marriage hadn’t seemed difficult to arrange either. She had assumed that by now, he would already be considering Berchia as a realistic option. But to hear him say it wasn’t something he’d thought about?

“Well, more accurately, it’s not that I never thought of it. I just assumed it wasn’t realistic.”

“But the Duke seems to like you.”

“He does. That’s why the idea crossed my mind for a moment. But Berchia herself doesn’t seem interested.”

“That’s probably because you’ve never made the effort to approach her.”

“When someone makes it painfully clear they don’t want to be approached, getting closer usually just earns their resentment.”

Calliope thought carefully. His appearance did align with Berchia’s type. Even the Duke looked similar to Gillan, and Otis Glayderth’s features weren’t far off either. Yet Berchia had never shown the slightest bit of interest in Gillan?

That was surprising. Calliope had assumed Berchia, who would eventually be pushed into a political marriage, would at least be eyeing someone she found tolerable.

“That’s not what I’ve observed.”

Calliope spoke firmly, but Gillan gave a quiet, knowing laugh.

“You must not have been looking very closely. I can see it clearly—she has feelings for someone else.”

Calliope muttered under her breath,

“She still does?”

Otis Glayderth’s name surfaced in her mind. Had Berchia really not moved on, even after being rejected so bluntly? She had never once shown any sign of that to Calliope.

Noticing her expression, Gillan tilted his head slightly, a hint of sympathy in his voice.

“Well then, I suppose she’s the one I feel sorry for.”

Calliope kept her composure and continued.

“Regardless of how she feels, Berchia is at the age where she can’t avoid a political marriage. She doesn’t like the idea, but she knows it’s necessary. And bringing you into that picture wouldn’t be hard for me.”

“You sound very confident. Are you really that close to her?”

“Yes. You should assume I am.”

“I don’t know if this is truly useful to me, but since you’re putting in the effort, I’ll offer some help in return.”

Gillan stood up, motioning for her to follow. As he opened the door and saw Jack waiting outside, he turned to Calliope and said,

“This is a personal matter. It’s better if your attendant waits outside.”

“Alright. Jack, would you mind waiting here? I won’t be long.”

“Of course. If anything happens, just call out.”

“You’re treating me like some kind of brute,” Gillan said with a light smile, showing no offense at all.

He led Calliope into his study and brought her to the same bookshelf she had secretly glanced at during her last visit. Scanning the shelves, he selected a few volumes and handed them to her.

“These books are references you’ll need to read ancient texts. I hope they’re helpful.”

“Thank you. This is more than enough.”

“No need to thank me.”

He looked at her in silence for a moment, then spoke again.

“May I be honest with you?”

The sudden shift in his tone made Calliope raise an eyebrow.

“About what?”

“Why I’m helping you.”

She narrowed her eyes slightly.

“Isn’t it because of the proposal—to match you with Lady Berchia?”

“It’s not.”

Gillan smiled, looking genuinely amused, and said something that caught her completely off guard.

“It’s because I’m interested in you.”

“…What?”

“On your birthday, what you said that night stayed with me. I found it… interesting.”

Calliope remembered the night he was talking about. The night he had come to her in secret. The conversations they’d had—words filled with emotions only those who’d lived through them could truly understand.

She gave a small nod, her expression showing she understood. Gillan saw that and smiled again, looking genuinely pleased.

“I never thought I’d meet someone who actually understood that kind of feeling.”

“Did you?”

Calliope gave a faint, bitter smile. He might have spoken casually, but she knew just how painful and consuming those feelings could be. She looked up at him, gently brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen near his cheek, and said quietly,

“If you stay lost in that pain too long, it starts to rot from the inside. Before you even realize it, the stench rises and seeps out.”

Gillan blinked slowly as her fingers grazed him. He cautiously lifted his hand, trying to hold hers, but Calliope pulled away and shook her head.

“Having someone care about you is a rare kind of miracle. And I’m thankful. But there’s only one person in my heart.”

“You mean Sir Isaac Esteban. That fortunate man.”

“Fortunate? I used to think I was the lucky one just for meeting him.”

“Do you know how the men in society talk about you and him? They all look at you with longing in their eyes and whisper about how blessed he is. To have someone like you—beautiful, loyal, and loving—by his side, that’s something most men could only hope for.”

“I understand that feeling. But being jealous of someone else’s happiness is foolish.”

“I agree. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder… if it was with you, maybe I could have had some peace.”

“That’s an unsettling thing to say.”

“I know.”

They both let out a quiet laugh. Calliope held the books he had lent her close and said,

“I won’t forget your help.”

“If you need anything else, come back anytime. I’m going to stay and look through a few more books, so I won’t see you out. Part of me is feeling a bit heartbroken, anyway.”

His playful tone made Calliope smile and nod in amusement.

“Then I’ll be going. Thank you again.”

“Of course. Take care.”

With that, Calliope left. Gillan remained in the study. And truthfully, with the rest of his family away, he was the only one left in the entire estate.

He stood still, listening to the sound of Calliope and Jack’s footsteps fading down the hallway. Once silence returned, he walked back to the bookshelf and pulled out a few select volumes. Moments later, the shelf creaked and slid aside, revealing a staircase leading underground.

“Maybe your idea of revenge is a little different from mine, Calliope Anastas.”

He stepped down into the darkness. The further he descended, the deeper the shadows grew, until it looked as though he was being swallowed by the dark.

Once his figure vanished completely, the bookshelf slid back into place with a soft thud.

The study was empty again.

Calliope returned to her room and immediately began working through the book Kaphir had given her, using the reference materials Gillan had provided. If her return to the past had something to do with the divine, then maybe this was where she would find a way to reverse time.

There was no mention of it in current mythologies. But five hundred years ago—before the stories were rewritten—perhaps such knowledge had been preserved.

She read like someone possessed. To turn back time. To bring back her Isaac.

And at that same moment, an unexpected visitor arrived at the Esteban estate.

A large carriage, marked with the symbol of the Imperial Temple, pulled up to the front gates. There was no doubt who it belonged to.

Saintess Clementia.

Her sudden appearance sent Erben into a panic. He had been in his office and rushed down to the entrance as soon as he heard.

“What’s going on? Why didn’t anyone send word in advance?”

“I—I don’t know, sir!”

“I wasn’t asking you!”

He took a deep breath as he reached the first floor, then straightened himself. Trying to appear composed, he walked confidently to the front doors, where the saintess was waiting.

“I wasn’t expecting your visit, but it’s an honor to welcome you, Saintess of the Empire.”

“There was a reason I had to come without notice. I hope you can forgive me.”

Clementia looked down at him with calm grace. Erben thought bitterly that he should have worn taller shoes. Still, he forced a polite smile even as his lips trembled slightly.

That smile shattered the moment she spoke again.

“I came to see Sir Isaac Esteban. He is here, isn’t he?”

“Isaac…?”

He had tried to appear dignified, but in truth, a visit from the Imperial Saintess was the kind of thing a noble family would brag about for generations. And yet, she hadn’t come to see him—the acting head of the house—but his younger brother?

His pride took a direct hit, and his expression twisted.

He had always felt inferior to Isaac. And now this.

“Is something wrong?”

Clementia tilted her head with an innocent look. Erben clenched his jaw and forced another tight smile. He couldn’t exactly turn her away.

“And may I ask… why you’re looking for Isaac?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t discuss it with anyone other than him. I know it may seem suspicious, but I swear to the gods that my intentions are pure.”

She brought her hands together in prayer and bowed her head gently.

That made it even harder to object. In the end, Erben gave a strained nod and called for a servant.

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