Finally Being Snatched Away at My Wedding by My Ex-Boyfriend - Chapter 25.1

Chapter 25.1: His Confession

Pei Xing decided not to see Su Yuan for the time being, out of his candid sense of inferiority.

He was jealous of Su Yuan’s effortless concealment, while he himself could neither hide his heart that wanted to draw close, nor do anything about the current situation.

He decided to use heavy schoolwork to drive away his cluttered thoughts; books were flipped open and closed, closed and flipped again. Finally, the heart that wanted to see Su Yuan surpassed everything else, becoming even more honest.

On Sunday evening, Pei Xing stood under the shadow of a Goldenrain tree that could hide his frame and dialed Su Yuan’s phone.

“Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is powered off…”

At this moment, he actually began to feel lucky that he chose to call instead of sending a message. Because it meant he might have experienced rounds of regret in every minute and second of waiting for Su Yuan’s reply.

On Monday, during a break between classes, Pei Xing went to the Academy of Fine Arts.

He didn’t yet understand this school, but he had memorized the different orientations of the Fine Arts teaching buildings.

He thought it would take some time to find someone who knew Su Yuan, and that the person might refuse to disclose anything because they didn’t know him. But the rumors clearly exceeded his expectations.

“You’re here looking for Su Yuan, right?” A girl leaned against the railing smoking, smiling, “He’s on leave, it’s a common occurrence.”

A common occurrence.

The phone call that received no response was overshadowed by worry and fear; Su Yuan’s health seemed even worse than he knew.

Pei Xing sat in the lecture hall, but in his mind, he thought of those painting awards Su Yuan had won and his rank as number one in the Huaihai Academy of Fine Arts entrance exam wondering if they were won with great hardship.

Perhaps he started learning painting from a very young age, sitting in front of an easel for many hours; his wrists might get uncomfortable, so he would need long hours of sleep to recover.

On the nightstand in the room at Fu County, there was a pair of silver-rimmed glasses, yet he had never seen Su Yuan wear them. Perhaps he would when reading, because Su Yuan occasionally used eye drops and rubbed his eyes.

After class, on the way to his next lecture, Pei Xing called again.

Unexpectedly, this time it connected.

“Su Yuan?”

Pei Xing stopped in the flow of people like an obstructing stone; he pushed open the fire door and found a quiet stairwell to call him again.

“Su—”

“I am Xin Xin’s grandfather.”

The steady male voice on the other end made Pei Xing unconsciously straighten his back. “Grandfather Su, hello, I am…”

“Pei Xing, I know,” the other party interrupted him. “Xin Xin is unwell and is resting at home; do not call him again. Goodbye.”

Pei Xing was a person who “knew when to advance and when to retreat”—this was the evaluation given to him by elders since childhood; he didn’t know if it counted as a compliment. But now, regarding the elder who had already given a refusal, he did not obey.

“Is Su Yuan… is he alright?” Pei Xing gripped his phone.

The person on the other side was silent for a moment, then suddenly let out a laugh, seemingly not expecting that he would actually dare to press further. “Pei Xing, it wasn’t easy for you to test into Huaicheng from a small place; put more of your mind on your studies. Many things, and many people, are not for you to meddle in and ask about.”

With that, the call was hung up.

On the cafeteria TV news that night, Pei Xing saw Su Yuan’s grandfather, Su Zhen. Su Zhen was supervising a vote among party legislators; his hair was grey, he was in high spirits, and he looked stern as he called out legislators whose stances had “deviated.”

Suddenly, he seemed to see Su Yuan sitting in that assembly hall as well, head lowered, trapped sadly within rules and boundaries.

Would Su Yuan’s many “first times” in Fu County also be viewed by his grandfather as “deviating”? Would he speak to him so sternly? Would he punish Su Yuan for lying? Would Su Yuan worry about not meeting his family’s expectations because he chose to become a painter?

“Sometimes I worry I won’t be able to become the person they expect.”

Pei Xing suddenly remembered; it turned out that on the balcony that night, Su Yuan had already told him.

He took his tray to the recycling point, walked out of the school gate, and took a taxi to the city center to buy a second gift.

“Xin Xin,” Pei Xing took out the gift, “Happy Birthday.”

Su Yuan looked at the white box in Pei Xing’s hand, a flash of surprise in his eyes. “A cell phone?”

“Why did you buy me a phone?”

“It’s a bit cliché,” Pei Xing turned his head and coughed lightly. “Since you didn’t message me, I thought maybe your backup phone was discovered too, so I bought this.”

Su Yuan took the box and shook his head. “It’s not cliché at all; it’s something I really need. I will definitely hide it secretly.”

Pei Xing looked at Su Yuan’s lowered eyelashes, dazed for a moment. “There is another gift in the dorm; it’s not very convenient to take out.”

Su Yuan looked up, smiling subtly. “Are you inviting me to your dorm?”

“No.”

Pei Xing answered extremely decisively. “I’ll go get it now. A four-man boys’ dorm is a bit messy; you won’t like it.”

This was his subconscious refusal, just as the Mona Lisa should only appear in the Louvre, and not some other cheap gallery.

He also disliked the gazes those boys turned toward Su Yuan, and even loathed the “you lucky dog” looks some cast his way Su Yuan should not be an object used for showing off.

Su Yuan came anyway.

Even though Pei Xing tried his best to lead them through the hallway quickly, the way people stopped their movements and opened their mouths still made Pei Xing feel like he was parading a precious treasure through the streets.

Pei Xing pushed the door open a crack, and only after confirming no one in the dorm was shirtless did he open the door.

Two roommates were playing a duo queue, keyboards clattering away, mouths passionately bickering, completely unconcerned that someone had entered the room.

“No, bro, is the New Year’s side dish in your hometown Draven’s ult? Just cast it!”

“I’m CC’d to death, how the hell do I cast an ult! That CC’d me so… Su Yuan!”

The roommate by the window clutched his chest, eyes widening as he looked at the person leaning by Pei Xing’s desk; the roommate beside him sneered, “You think you’re Pei Xing, getting CC’d by Su Yuan? She wouldn’t even want to CC you, and Su Yuan… Su Yuan!”

Su Yuan was flipping through the books on Pei Xing’s desk; he raised a hand toward the dumbfounded pair and waved with a smile.

On the balcony, Pei Xing, having changed the water in the vase, walked out. He swept a cold glance at the two of them and turned to him. “Let’s go.”

“Mhm.”

Su Yuan closed the book.

Then he thought of something, took a book out of the bag slung over Pei Xing’s shoulder, pulled out a bookmark from inside, and tucked it into Pei Xing’s book. “That bookmark isn’t fragrant anymore; this is a new one I made, it can stay fragrant for a long time.”

After saying that, Su Yuan looked at the two roommates who were “hard CC’d” on the spot and waved again with a smile. “Bye-bye.”

“Bye…”

“…Bye.”

Walking out of the dormitory building entrance, Su Yuan looked back, meeting the gazes of the two people leaning against the security bars.

He turned back and smiled. “Pei Xing, your roommates are quite fun; living together must be very happy, right?”

Pei Xing’s face darkened again. “Not happy.”

“Ooh, so it’s happier to live with me.”

“Mhm.”

After saying it, Pei Xing froze, but Su Yuan’s expression was natural, as if he hadn’t heard the answer.

This let him breathe a sigh of relief.

The two walked side by side past the osmanthus bushes. Su Yuan pointed his finger at the vase Pei Xing was holding, which was stuffed with many dry twigs. “What is this?”

“Spiraea (Snow Willow),” Pei Xing gripped the celadon-colored vase. “When it blooms, the branches are covered with tiny silver-white flowers; it’s very beautiful.”

Like the white veils on the heads of the Wilis in the ballet that night.

“Like the Wilis?”

Pei Xing looked at Su Yuan, who had suddenly spoken. He knew they sometimes had a miraculous chemistry, but when it happened, his heart still shook because of it.

“Mhm,” Pei Xing nodded. “Also like wood that can bloom.”

Su Yuan stopped his steps and turned to look at Pei Xing.

Between the gap of two distant teaching buildings, the blue sea was visible; the setting sun happened to fall on the horizon. That light, passing through the branches of the trees, made them seem to burst into countless flowers, glowing with a golden halo.

Su Yuan heard a confession with certainty.

The evening breeze fanned Pei Xing’s unease. He stood under the tree, almost impatient to confirm that Su Yuan, at this moment, understood his unspoken confession just as he did.

But he didn’t dare look at Su Yuan, fearing he wouldn’t get a reciprocal response from his face.

Standing before Pei Xing, Su Yuan held his hands behind his back, his thin arms under the white knit sweater tensed straight like climbing trumpet creepers, the corners of his lips curling up slightly, indescribably beautiful. If Pei Xing dared to look at him, he would surely have spoken an even clearer confession.

“Young Master.”

The bodyguard who ran up stopped a meter away, reminding Su Yuan it was time to go home.

This time Su Yuan wasn’t annoyed by the intrusion; instead, he was grateful for the interruption, letting Pei Xing, whose neck and ears were flushed deep red, finally begin to breathe.

Su Yuan responded and took the vase from the head-lowered Pei Xing.

As he took the bag off Pei Xing’s shoulder, he leaned close to his ear and said very softly: “That sentence, I heard it too.”

“This is my favorite birthday gift.”

With that, Su Yuan held the vase in both hands and left Pei Xing, but his eyes were still on him, his gaze like ripples being stirred, thread by thread, until after walking a few steps he finally smiled and looked away.

It wasn’t until the sunlight was entirely covered by night that Pei Xing moved his legs.

He walked straight back to the empty dormitory, closed the door, and pressed his forehead against the cool iron door to calm his heartbeat.

How could someone only realize what they had said after it had already left their mouth?

After showering, the heat in Pei Xing’s body still hadn’t faded; he lay on the bunk, grabbed both sides of the pillow, and pressed it hard against his face.

The phone beside him vibrated.

Pei Xing knew it would be Su Yuan. After a long while, he finally picked up the phone, as if facing an uncertain future with hesitation.

[Xin Xin: (Image)] [Xin Xin: This is my birthday cake; there’s so, so little cream.] [Xin Xin: But I really want to eat it with you too. :D] [Xin Xin: If only you were here; I want to spend my birthday with you, I want to go back to Fu County, I want to jump into that little creek, and I want to not be found by anyone.]

Su Yuan used a birthday wish to trade for a chance to go to Fu County.

In the late night of the last day of September, Pei Xing, who had exited the station an hour earlier, caught the drowsy Su Yuan.

Su Yuan’s medicine was all pre-packaged by the family doctor; to ensure sleep quality, the nighttime pills included anti-anxiety sedatives.

But he didn’t want Pei Xing to know, so he took them on the high-speed train and was now lightheaded.

“Pei Xing, I’m so sleepy…” Su Yuan leaned against the back seat of the taxi. “Carry me on your back.”

Pei Xing paid the fare, took Su Yuan’s outstretched hand, crouched down, and put the sleepy person on his back. “Su Xin Xin, where has all the meat and fish you’ve eaten gone? You’re not even as heavy as Xiao Bai.”

“Is that so,” Su Yuan leaned on his shoulder, his speech muddled. “Then Xiao Bai is so great; little cats should eat until they’re chubby…”

“Pei Xing, bend your back a bit, I’m going to fall… don’t put me on the sofa, I don’t like sleeping on the sofa… I want blue bedsheets, and light purple pajamas…”

Pei Xing quickly cleaned the room, made the bed, and picked up Su Yuan, who was temporarily settled on the sofa.

“I’m not making you sleep on the sofa; the bedding is the baby blue set. Pajamas—change them yourself.”

“Why?” Su Yuan opened his eyes clearly. “Why won’t you change them for me? I want you to change them…”

Su Yuan’s voice was sticky, like he was extremely tired, or like he was drunk.

Very cute.

“Don’t drink so much next time.” Pei Xing smiled, teasing him.

Hearing this, Su Yuan suddenly looked at him as if very sad, turning himself into an ostrich and burying his face in the quilt. “But they all make me drink, I don’t want to drink at all…”

Pei Xing froze.

He was certain Su Yuan hadn’t drunk alcohol; he still smelled of faint jasmine, and his hair smelled of shampoo. He propped himself up beside Su Yuan and reached out to touch Su Yuan’s face, finding a handful of tears.

“Why are you crying?” Pei Xing frowned.

Su Yuan turned his head, tears falling straight into the bridge of his nose, filling up like a pool in a lake. “Pei Xing, I don’t want to take medicine at all…”

His voice was soaked in medication, bitter and aggrieved. The next second, Su Yuan closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

It was as if saying the grievance out loud made it better, or perhaps he feared he wouldn’t receive validation and tolerance, so he used the method of closing his eyes to escape.

It’s fine; once asleep, he won’t be sad anymore.

Now, the sad person in the room had changed from two to one.

Pei Xing lowered his head, silent for a few seconds.

He went to the bathroom to get water, and used a warm, soft cotton towel to wipe away the tear stains on Su Yuan’s face, his icy hands, and his feet which, despite wearing thick cotton socks, were still as cold as blocks of ice.

He warmed them with his hands for a while, but found no improvement at all.

Pei Xing adjusted the angle of the headboard, tucked Su Yuan into the bedding, and quickly fetched a hot water bottle. After repeatedly confirming it was tightened, he wrapped it in a towel and placed it by Su Yuan’s feet.

The moment they touched the hot water bottle, the feet twitched, but soon instinct made them move closer again, clinging tightly.

He took a shower himself, dried his hair, and sat on the floor by the bed, quietly watching Su Yuan.

In the room with only moonlight, Su Yuan lay face-up on the bed; the raised headboard made it easy for Pei Xing to keep looking at Su Yuan’s face. It was very white—so white it almost had no color yet because his features were so beautiful, one would overlook his sickly paleness.

Pei Xing reached out, reaching into the bedding to feel Su Yuan’s pulse.

Just as he used to check his mother’s when he was a child.

The pulse was steady; he slowly withdrew his hand, but involuntarily lingered when passing over Su Yuan’s palm. Finally, he held that hand, wanting to give him all his body’s heat sources.

Pei Xing changed the water in the hot water bag and tucked it back into the covers before lying down on the mat by the bed, but his heart was very noisy.

He suddenly began to think: if only there were some once-and-for-all medicine to make people eternally healthy; if only he studied biology.

He had a night of bizarre and variegated dreams.

He dreamed of his mother leaning on the bed, his father sitting at the foot of the bed holding her feet in his arms, and himself lying beside his mother, holding her hand.

So when Su Yuan burrowed into his embrace, he woke up immediately.

The sky outside the curtains had not yet let out light; Su Yuan’s hair had the luster of the dark night, his head buried in his chest as if seeking heat, or perhaps as a reliance. Pei Xing froze in place, letting him cling to him like a vine.

“Pei Xing, you’re so warm…” Su Yuan’s sleep-talking carried his usual coquetry.

Pei Xing was still for a moment; the hand that should have pushed Su Yuan away failed to do so.

He reached out to pull the quilt from the bed, wrapping Su Yuan up entirely without leaving a single crack, and finally put the hand that was resting on his own abdomen into his bosom to hold. “Mhm, sleep.”

He thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep, but Su Yuan’s quiet, steady breathing let him sink into a deep sleep as well.

Affection is a strange thing; it turns a person who always suppresses and ignores emotions into someone who wants to become the most gentle and tolerant person in the world. Perhaps it isn’t affection that is strange, but Su Yuan.

For him, Pei Xing began to clumsily and unpracticedly walk into the river of delicate emotions.

“Love” had disappeared from him for twelve years, but its definition had been etched into his heart from the moment he could remember until its disappearance. He had originally thought he wouldn’t be as lucky as his father, having such a person appear in his life for him to tolerate, understand, and care for.

However, he seemed even luckier than his father, who only met his mother at twenty-four.

He had a premonition that life after meeting Su Yuan would no longer be as dull as his personality, and he would no longer view this village as the gloomy childhood he was desperate to escape.

Su Yuan’s appearance was like a lit candle. Very bright, yet at times becoming weak, needing to be held carefully in his hands so he wouldn’t be blown by the wind.

I can do it, Pei Xing thought.

“Pei Xing…”

Under the curtains drummed by the wind, there were long, thin strips of light, like undulating sea waves; Su Yuan’s breath puffed against his neck like a damp, hot sea breeze.

“Mhm?”

Su Yuan’s voice was as soft as his hair and body. “You didn’t give me a bath and change my pajamas before letting me sleep; you deserve ten thousand deaths…”

Pei Xing was stunned for a moment, then closed his eyes and laughed; the vibration of his chest carried the person lying in his arms to laugh along.

The corners of Su Yuan’s lips curled up, and he buried his face deeper like a restless kitten.

He reached out to catch the back of Su Yuan’s neck so thin, so soft, he couldn’t bear to lift him. Finally, his hand gently covered that patch of skin. “Are you cold?”

Su Yuan shook his head very slightly; his legs had been warmed all night by Pei Xing’s body and were very cozy. He had more strength than he usually did upon waking, kicked a few times, and sprawled over Pei Xing like a small blanket.

“I slept very well…” Su Yuan tilted his head slightly, sniffing Pei Xing’s ear. “Your body wash and shampoo are both mint-scented.”

Pei Xing’s body stiffened with the itch, thankful that there was still a quilt between them so his disheveled reaction wouldn’t be noticed.

But he still couldn’t help wanting to pinch Su Yuan’s nuzzling nose. “Are you a kitten?”

“I am Xin Xin.”

Pei Xing’s outstretched hand landed on Su Yuan’s chin, scratching very lightly. “Mhm, it’s Xin Xin.”

Morning in Fu County was quiet. Su Yuan sat in the fluffy bedding with half-closed eyes, took the water glass Pei Xing handed him, and took a sip only to find it was ginger soup.

“I’m not sick.”

“Mhm, you slept on the floor last night; I was afraid you’d catch a cold.”

Su Yuan nodded and finished all the ginger soup. He glanced at the pillow leaning against the wall on the floor mat, guessing that Pei Xing had wanted him to sleep more comfortably and had leaned against the wall all night.

No wonder he hadn’t been woken by coughing.

He got up, walked behind the person who was remaking the bed, and gave him a quick hug.

Pei Xing froze, and before he could give a reaction, Su Yuan jumped into the bathroom to shower.

Neither mentioned what happened last night; the subtle chemistry appeared once again.

They rode bicycles to the wetlands.

Su Yuan sat on the folding chair Pei Xing brought for him, and for the first time, he didn’t focus on looking at the Crested Ibises, but instead thought about what it felt like to be held by a Pei Xing who wasn’t sleeping.

The sun grew brighter and brighter, a sign that the “Autumn Tiger” of Fu County this year was approaching.