Fighting For My Wife With Myself After Being Reborn - Chapter 34

“Shen Huaixu” moved out of the hospital.

She was fed up with the hospital’s deathly white rooms, the heart-fluttering smell of disinfectant, and the never-ending dreams.

Yes, dreams.

In truth, “Shen Huaixu” hadn’t dreamed for a very long time.

To her, dreams were like mist or smoke—ethereal and hard to find. When she was conscious, there were no dreams, and sleep deprived her of the right to dream. She was a tiny speck of dust in the void, so small that dreams could not find her; thus, she no longer dreamed, only waiting in the endless darkness for the next opportunity to wake.

“Shen Huaixu” had passively accepted the fact that she would never dream again.

However, during the time she lay injured in the hospital bed, she had unusually rare dreams every single night.

What is a dream?

“Shen Huaixu” didn’t know the answers others might give. She only knew that for her, dreams were a salvation, a homecoming for the soul, and yet also life’s torture and punishment. They were a slow, lingering execution.

In her dreams, she fell in love with Gu Yinghuai all over again.

Those sweet memories belonging solely to them, occurring in the quiet nights where only the ticking of instruments could be heard, became a saw—both dull and sharp—slowly cutting through her already shattered heart.

She should have felt pain; she ought to have felt pain.

The lover’s every smile and frown seemed like yesterday. She could smell the faint fragrance of perfume; the tight embrace dissipated the bone-chilling fear in her heart; she opened her eyes to see her lover’s eyes shimmering with laughter.

What a beautiful dream, “Shen Huaixu” thought.

She began to dream frequently.

The bits and pieces of the past were like surging seawater, gathering into waves. The crests of the waves carried coarse sand, each one battering “Shen Huaixu’s” fragile dreamscape, urging her to wake and warning her that she should return to her own world.

“My choice?” “Shen Huaixu” subconsciously clenched her fist. Her neatly trimmed nails dug hard into the soft flesh of her palm. Sharp pain followed immediately, but “Shen Huaixu” remained oblivious, staring out the window at the unchanging scenery with eyes brimming with agony.

“What are you doing standing there like a fool? It’s time to go home.” Shen Qiu returned after packing the luggage and found “Shen Huaixu” still standing stupidly by the window looking at the view. She was momentarily speechless. “Weren’t you the one clamoring to go home these past two days? You don’t tell me you’re reluctant to leave now?”

“Shen Huaixu’s” thoughts were instantly interrupted by Shen Qiu’s arrival. She concealed the icy chill in her eyes and turned to flash a faint smile at Shen Qiu. “I can’t wait to get home.”

Looking at the person before her—who seemed much lighter and breathed more easily now that she was out of her hospital gown—Shen Qiu began to wonder if she had truly been stifled during this period.

“Since that’s the case, let’s hurry up and leave. I’ve had enough of the smell of disinfectant too; I feel like I’m about to be pickled in it.” Clearly, “Shen Huaixu” wasn’t the only one who hated that smell.

“Coming.” Without a hint of hesitation or nostalgia, “Shen Huaixu” walked straight out of the ward where she had stayed for over half a month.

The Air of Freedom

The air outside the hospital was full of freedom.

“Shen Huaixu’s” injuries were not yet fully healed. She was only able to be discharged because the doctor saw she had been fairly well-behaved during her stay and was recovering well, thus approving her application to recuperate at home.

However, before she left, the doctor specifically instructed her not to engage in strenuous exercise. It was best for her to rest in bed, occasionally getting up to move around and stretch her muscles.

Breathing in the fresh air, “Shen Huaixu” automatically ignored the doctor’s parting words and spread her arms wide to enjoy the taste of freedom.

Shen Qiu and Lin Feng stood to the side, watching with amusement as their daughter opened her arms and took deep breaths of the air with a face full of enjoyment.

“You’ll behave once you pull your stitches,” Shen Qiu stepped forward to interrupt her once she judged “Shen Huaixu” had enjoyed herself enough. “Let’s go. The wind is picking up; be careful not to catch a cold.”

“Shen Huaixu” nodded. After feeling the breath of the wind one last time, she followed Shen Qiu to the parking lot and took the car home.

Today was a workday, so Gu Yinghuai was at the office and did not come to pick up “Shen Huaixu.”

With one less person living there, even though Gu Yinghuai had followed her usual habits—placing their belongings together to create the illusion that “Shen Huaixu” was still living and eating there—no matter how she faked it, the house still felt colder and quieter than before.

Shen Qiu set down “Shen Huaixu’s” things and patted her shoulder, saying, “While your dad and I aren’t around, you must be obedient. Don’t cause trouble, okay? Yinghuai has to work and take care of you; it’s very exhausting.”

Gu Yinghuai’s exhaustion was obvious to everyone. The rosy complexion that Shen Huaixu had previously maintained had faded in just a few short days, turning into a paper-like paleness.

This pained both “Shen Huaixu” and Shen Qiu deeply. The person lying in the hospital bed couldn’t move, so she struggled to use her phone, ordering afternoon tea to be delivered to Gu Yinghuai’s company every single afternoon without fail, trying to fatten her up a bit.

Shen Qiu, meanwhile, directed Lin Feng in the kitchen.

Three dishes and one soup, a balance of meat and vegetables; every night when Gu Yinghuai returned home from work, there was always a bowl of soup at just the right temperature. The soup was overflowing with the elders’ care for her.

“I know. Don’t worry, Mom. How could I bear to tire out my Huai?” “Shen Huaixu” thought to herself that she couldn’t love her enough, so how could she possibly cause trouble.

Shen Qiu smiled thinly. “It’s good that you know. Alright, I won’t stay any longer. Your dad and I are heading back. Call us if anything happens.”

“Okay. Be careful on the road, and remember to message me when you get home.” “Shen Huaixu” reached out and hugged Shen Qiu. She buried her head in Shen Qiu’s shoulder, her nose brushing against her hair, feeling an inexplicable ache.

So warm.

I want to cry.

In “Shen Huaixu’s” timeline, she hadn’t seen Shen Qiu for a very long time. A mother’s embrace was a very distant existence to her. To be able to see Shen Qiu again and act spoiled in her arms made “Shen Huaixu” feel content.

“Look at you, acting like a baby at your age. How embarrassing.” It wasn’t that Shen Qiu didn’t hear “Shen Huaixu” quietly sniffing. She gently patted “Shen Huaixu’s” back, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes deepening with her smile. “Go back and rest. I’m leaving.”

“Shen Huaixu” smiled. “No matter how old I get, I’m still Mama’s little treasure.”

Shen Qiu reached out to stroke “Shen Huaixu’s” cheek, which had lost quite a bit of weight recently. The emotions in her eyes were something “Shen Huaixu” couldn’t quite read. “Take good care of yourself. Although I don’t know what you’ve been worrying about lately, or where your anxieties come from, you must remember, Huaixu—no matter what, I am your mother.”

“Feng-ge and I will always support your decisions. So, don’t be afraid.”

“Okay,” “Shen Huaixu’s” voice trembled.

Shen Qiu patted her arm and left with Lin Feng.

“Shen Huaixu” stood at the door until their silhouettes could no longer be seen before turning back inside.

Shadows and Stars

Mom probably noticed, “Shen Huaixu” thought as she returned to the empty living room. Just minutes ago, it had been full of people; now, only she remained.

So lonely.

I miss Huai.

“Shen Huaixu” lay on the soft sofa and hugged the plush pillow they had bought together at the furniture store. This posture pulled at her wound, but it gave her a sense of security. She buried her face in the fluff, ignoring the pain in her body as her thoughts drifted aimlessly.

While lying in the hospital, “Shen Huaixu” had wondered and agonized over whether she should take advantage of the original body’s slumber and the soul’s fragility to attack her.

The other was so fragile; “Shen Huaixu” would only need to move a finger to push her into the abyss and turn her into dust. In this world, there would be only one “Shen Huaixu,” and no one else.

“Shen Huaixu” had been tempted.

In the dead of night, she had even nearly made a move on Shen Huaixu.

What stopped her was Gu Yinghuai’s eyes.

Gu Yinghuai’s eyes were very beautiful. It wasn’t just “Shen Huaixu’s” love filters; anyone who saw Gu Yinghuai would be instantly attracted by her eyes.

What kind of eyes were they? “Shen Huaixu” still couldn’t find the words to describe them. To say they were “pretty” was too one-dimensional. How could they be just pretty? They were like thousands of stars gathered into a single gaze, the shattered remains of all the beautiful things in the world reorganized into those dazzling orbs.

When the stars fell, they brought a meteor shower.

“Shen Huaixu’s” hardened heart softened at Gu Yinghuai’s tearful expression, and she gradually gave up the idea of replacing Shen Huaixu. Ultimately, she couldn’t bear to see Gu Yinghuai sad.

“Just when is that fellow going to wake up? If she doesn’t wake up soon, I won’t be able to hold back.” Keeping the same posture while hugging the pillow caused the injured area to throb. “Shen Huaixu” let go of the pillow and lay flat, staring at the ceiling.

She could feel that Shen Huaixu was recovering bit by bit; the ethereal body was slowly condensing and becoming solid. These past few days, as Shen Huaixu recovered, “Shen Huaixu” was gradually becoming weaker and more prone to sleepiness.

But as long as Shen Huaixu didn’t wake, “Shen Huaixu” would not fall into a deep slumber; she still held control over the body.

“Sigh, if you don’t come out soon, I really won’t be able to help myself.” “Shen Huaixu” sat up from the sofa, opened the notes app on her phone, typed away for a bit, then locked the screen and walked to the kitchen.

Though her injuries weren’t fully healed, she could still manage to cook a simple meal while waiting for Gu Yinghuai to come home.

The Black and White Dream

While “Shen Huaixu” was immersing herself in the culinary arts, Shen Huaixu was not idle either.

She didn’t know how many years she had spent in the darkness, or how many shattered dreamscapes she had traversed. Every time she entered a dream, it was a segment of memory that never repeated.

In these dreams, Shen Huaixu encountered countless versions of Gu Yinghuai. They were laughing, or feigning anger, or occasionally with the corners of their eyes flushed red and brimming with crystal tears.

That was a Gu Yinghuai she had never seen. It was the Gu Yinghuai of the future.

Shen Huaixu watched with great interest in the dreams, floating behind “Shen Huaixu” like a “look but don’t touch” spirit, occasionally remarking that her Huai was indeed beautiful regardless of her expression.

During this time traversing the dreams, Shen Huaixu came to understand that her ability to leave did not depend on her, but on when the master of the dream woke up. Fortunately, the speed at which the dreams collapsed recently was faster than before. Shortly after entering one dream, she would be pulled into another.

Just as Shen Huaixu thought it would continue like this indefinitely, she was sucked into a gray, dusty dream fragment.

Unlike the other dreams, this place was black and white. It lacked happiness and sweetness, leaving only a sorrow so thick it had almost solidified.

“What’s happening to me?” Tears fell uncontrollably. By the time Shen Huaixu regained her senses, her face was already covered in tears.

The black-and-white dream seemed exceptionally hostile toward outsiders. She had only been inside for a few minutes before the dream violently kicked her out, but she managed a hurried glance at the core of the dream.

With just that one glance, Shen Huaixu’s eyes snapped wide open, her silver-gray pupils filled with disbelief.

That was—