Fell Deeply In Love With My Ex-Husband's Fiancé - Chapter 42

Chapter 42: Delicate Balance: “Don’t take my sincerity and trample it on the ground…”

On a weekday noon, the central viaduct had smooth traffic flow. The SUV was driving steadily at 80 km/h, suitable for solitude and conversation.

Lu Feiran rested his right hand on the car window edge, propping up his chin. He saw Lance’s jaw was tight, as if he had something to say, but Lu Feiran didn’t ask.

He wasn’t in a hurry.

Lu Feiran smiled faintly and turned his attention back to the window.

Lance missed the Lu Feiran from before the accident.

So well-behaved and beautiful. When they slept together, Lance would stay awake a moment longer than Lu Feiran. He would gently push back Lu Feiran’s dark hair in the moonlight, gazing obsessively at his lover’s peaceful sleeping face. When the sun rose, he would wake up even earlier than Lu Feiran, holding his lover without moving, their bodies perfectly nestled together, feeling each other’s warmth.

When he woke up, Lance would see his reflection in Lu Feiran’s still-dazed eyes. He would kiss Lu Feiran’s eyelids and lips, using light pecks to wake him up.

Lu Feiran wouldn’t want to get up, and then Lance would make breakfast. His sleepy lover would only grudgingly get out of bed when he smelled the food’s aroma.

They were intimate and inseparable. Lu Feiran cared about his every emotion, his eyes full of only him. His love for Lance nearly overflowed.

An shriveled monster lived inside Lance. It needed to feed on affection, and Lu Feiran had nurtured it well.

But it had been starving for many days now. Lu Feiran… had become stingy with his affection.

Unable to hold back, Lance spoke: “Who was that person?”

“Take a guess,” Lu Feiran replied casually, seemingly oblivious to the concern in Lance’s tone.

Lu Feiran was never fully honest with him. Lance frowned, tapping the steering wheel with his index finger.

Due to his difficulty with empathy, Lance was often expressionless, as if indifferent to everything. In reality, Lance truly was indifferent and uninterested in most things.

When Lance didn’t smile, he had an odd, non-human quality—no joy, no anger, and few micro-expressions. It took him three years to master a warm, approachable smile.

But he was struggling to smile now.

Lance adjusted his posture, turning slightly to the left, preventing Lu Feiran from seeing his strained, almost distorted expression.

He was restless. A clumsy thought went through his mind and slipped out before he could fully consider it: “Was he your husband?”

Lu Feiran’s eyes instantly snapped over, like a sharp sword piercing Lance’s heart.

Lance’s heart sank. He immediately realized he shouldn’t have asked that question so recklessly. This was the first time he spoke without preparation, and it was obviously full of holes.

Like a child’s first clumsy lie, it was easily seen through.

A hint of excitement flashed in Lu Feiran’s bright, soaring eyes. He looked over with a half-smile, the curve of his lips making his entire face extraordinarily charming.

Lance looked at that smiling face, his heart pounding wildly.

“You really care who my husband is. You bring it up almost every day.” Sharp words leaped from Lu Feiran’s tongue. “You’re very eager to hear that name from my mouth.”

A sense of panic continued to spread within Lance. He had a terrible premonition. Before Lu Feiran could speak further, he interrupted: “Lu Feiran. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”

His voice was hurried and shaky, the tail end even slightly strained.

He was completely losing composure. Just a casual conversation had left him utterly defeated in front of Lu Feiran.

Lu Feiran knew some things, but he was calm and collected, keeping them hidden, waiting for the right moment to strike back and pierce Lance.

But when Lu Feiran saw Lance’s obvious panic, he became more bewildered than Lance. He opened his mouth, swallowing the words he had originally intended to say.

The composed manner of one who holds all the cards was an adjective usually etched onto Lance. Even during those first few days of their acquaintance, when they were soaked by the downpour outside the “Aurora” club, and Lance clumsily fell into a puddle, it didn’t shock Lu Feiran as much as this current scene.

He felt Lance’s pain and restraint. His entire strategy was in disarray.

It turned out that the so-called “vulnerability” back then was all meticulously acted by Lance, intended to make him feel sympathy. But now, this was the real “shame.”

Holding the decision to crush Lance, Lu Feiran fell silent, his throat feeling like he had swallowed a piece of charcoal.

He wanted to counter-ask Lance: You investigated the car accident for so long, you mentioned countless times that my husband might be the killer, so do you really not know that my husband is Zhai Qiance?

Before the words left his mouth, Lance’s face looked worse than a thousand-year-old corpse.

After the SUV was parked, Lance was covered in sweat, as if he had just completed an extreme sport that tears the heart apart.

The parking lot was silent, only Lance’s breathing could be heard. Through the windshield, Lance was still staring ahead, his eyes out of focus.

Lu Feiran turned around, gripped Lance’s arm, and only after a long moment felt the stiff muscles in his palm gradually relax.

The name “Noen” circled on Lu Feiran’s tongue, but he was kind enough to avoid the address. He asked in a very gentle voice: “What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”

His pale hand gently massaged Lance’s arm, helping him relax. Suddenly, Lance turned his face, and Lu Feiran saw a horrifying stillness in his eyes.

Lu Feiran calmly met Lance’s gaze, curious if he would feel defeated, and wanting to know how he would try to salvage this mistake.

But before that…

Lu Feiran sighed, adjusted both their seats on the central control screen, making the driver’s seat more spacious.

He hunched over, crawling from the passenger seat under Lance’s unwavering stare. Without the help of his left hand, he had to rely on leaning on Lance for leverage.

“Hold me tight.”

Lance immediately wrapped his arm around his waist, using a subtle force to pull him closer. Lu Feiran’s slender, agile body easily crossed the center console, sitting face-to-face on Lance’s lap.

Lu Feiran looked at Lance with an expression that could be described as affectionate pity. He patted Lance’s shoulder with his right hand, tracing up the pulse-throbbing neck, his fingertips resting on Lance’s cheek.

This was a posture familiar to both of them. As soon as Lu Feiran cupped Lance’s face, the handsome, blonde man leaned his head sideways, fitting perfectly into Lu Feiran’s palm. He rubbed against it, compliant and obedient.

Lu Feiran’s demeanor seemed to say, “I’ll give you one more chance to perform.” He didn’t end the confrontation, kindly allowing it to continue.

Lance was saved by Lu Feiran’s mercy.

Under the car lights, not only his face but even his bright, golden hair looked deathly pale. The man looked whiter than a ghost.

The arm around his waist tightened. Lu Feiran felt as if Lance was trying to crush him and stuff him into his body. He was incredibly generous, giving Lance a kiss on the forehead: “If you’re uncomfortable, do you want to rest here for a while before going up?”

“Yes,” Lance’s face was deeply buried in Lu Feiran’s collar, his voice muffled.

They didn’t do anything, just hugged tightly. Lu Feiran tilted his head to rest on Lance’s shoulder, his ear pressed to the artery, his heart rate gradually synchronizing with Lance’s.

Lu Feiran felt very safe. He truly loved hugging, especially hugging Lance.

And he knew Lance needed him. “Need” is sometimes more precious than “love.”

For instance, Zhai Qiance, the former husband whose crimes were too many to count, had loved many people but needed no one. He only loved money, status, and power. If anyone tried to take those three things, he would drop all pretense and fight them desperately.

Lu Feiran was relieved he hadn’t recklessly exposed Lance. The taste of being deceived wasn’t good, and he wanted Lance to savor it a bit longer.

And… he hoped Lance could keep up the act a little longer.

The conflicting feelings made Lu Feiran bury his head even deeper, almost burrowing into Lance’s neck.

Lu Feiran rested his eyes in Lance’s arms for a while, then looked up and said coolly: “When I don’t ask you to pick me up, don’t come on your own, and stop constantly checking my location. You look like a surveillance freak.”

Lance was momentarily stunned by the unusually direct words, quickly realizing that Lu Feiran had been speaking this way frequently recently.

His attitude had changed somewhat, but since Lu Feiran was still willing to live at his place, hug him, and kiss him, it wasn’t too serious.

Lu Feiran really loved him. Lance felt somewhat relieved.

Lance looked down awkwardly at Lu Feiran’s stubborn eyes: “I’m very worried about you. I don’t want anything to happen to you again. Ranran, you almost died…”

He kissed Lu Feiran’s eyes and continued: “Stop making me feel insecure, okay?”

The plea was almost a supplication, making Lance realize the terror of love for the first time. He was reduced to begging so humbly, all for a vague, empty promise.

But Lu Feiran wasn’t willing to comfort him. He lowered his head and remained silent for a long time, enjoying Lance’s warm and cozy embrace, yet unwilling to offer even a small reward: “I need personal space.”

Feeling a vibration from the chest pressed against his, Lu Feiran looked up suspiciously and saw Lance smiling exceptionally brightly. But the smile looked painted on, failing to affect his cold eyes, making Lu Feiran feel an inexplicable chill.

“Could the one without ‘personal space’ meet Zhou Zihua and Jin Zhan? Could you deliberately not wear your watch and run off to places I don’t know?” Lance’s voice deepened. His head lowered, his eyes hidden beneath his golden hair were incredibly gloomy. He was persuading Lu Feiran, and also convincing himself, “Ranran, wouldn’t it be better to be good?”

A cold hand brushed Lu Feiran’s cheek, making him instinctively want to recoil. But the car interior was small, offering no escape. He jerked back, his back pressing against the steering wheel.

Fortunately, the thick jacket cushioned him. Otherwise, that bump would have left several bruises on his back.

Lu Feiran didn’t want to look at Lance, but their thighs were inevitably intertwined.

He didn’t want to argue while sitting on Lance’s lap. He wanted to get out of the car.

As soon as the car door was opened a crack, a large hand gripped his hand, and the door was slammed shut with a “bang.”

The violent movement caused the car body to shake.

Lu Feiran bit his lip, his chest heaving. He hated himself for constantly softening his resolve. He had just given Lance too much credit!

The air in the car became tense. Lance’s hand slipped in beneath the hem of his jacket, pinching Lu Feiran’s waistline over his fitted sweater, pulling him abruptly toward himself.

Lu Feiran was about to fall into Lance’s embrace again, but he held him back with his right hand.

Lance’s index finger reached into Lu Feiran’s warm mouth, pressing against his sharp teeth, freeing his reddened lips, and he said: “Don’t take my sincerity and trample it on the ground.”

“Ha,” Lu Feiran scoffed coldly, suppressing the sudden sourness in his heart, steadying his breathing, his tone cruel, “Is your Chinese bad? Do you know what ‘sincerity’ ($zhenxin$) means? The $zhen$ (true) from ‘truth’! Not the $zhen$ (really) from ‘really f**king funny’!”

Despite his best efforts, Lu Feiran couldn’t help the tremor in his voice as he finished speaking.

The gloom in Lance’s heart completely dissipated with that shaky final sound.

A single, crystalline tear rolled precariously down Lu Feiran’s chin. Lance leaned in and licked it away with the tip of his tongue.

“Even if I trample you, you deserve it, understand?” Lu Feiran said fiercely.

While smelling Lu Feiran’s face, Lance guided Lu Feiran’s legs to wrap around his waist. He picked Lu Feiran up like a child and stepped out of the car.

Lance conceded silently. He allowed Lu Feiran to trample him, as long as Lu Feiran was still willing.