Everyone Says I’m Cold and Aloof, But I Just Have Social Anxiety! - Chapter 30

Jian Han’s face was so dark it seemed as if water could drip from it. His expression was like a volcano on the verge of eruption anger, despair, and confusion intertwined. His hands were clenched into tight fists, his nails digging deep into his palms, yet he remained oblivious to the pain.

As the Eldest Disciple of the sect, he believed he had invested countless amounts of effort and sweat. He had always yearned to stand out among his fellow disciples and become someone revered by all.

“Why is it like this?” Jian Han muttered to himself, his voice full of resentment and fury.

His gaze swept across everything in the room. The decorations now felt like entities mocking his incompetence. “Clearly, I was the first to arrive. Clearly, I am the Eldest Disciple. Clearly, I have worked so hard! All these years, it was fine that I couldn’t match Gu Qingzhi’s talent, but why is even a newly entered junior brother like this?”

Jian Han’s voice grew louder, reaching a roar by the end. His chest heaved violently, and the fire in his heart was as uncontrollable as a volcanic eruption. “Why? Am I truly that pathetic?”

With a sudden wave of his sleeve, a surge of powerful spiritual energy erupted. With a loud bang, the table and chairs in front of him were instantly shattered. Wood splinters flew through the air like his own broken self-esteem.

Just then, Youchuan, who happened to be walking nearby, heard the strange commotion from inside the room. The noise caused his heart to tighten; he quickened his pace and rushed over. The moment he pushed the door open, he was met with a heart-stopping sight.

A faint metallic scent of blood lingered in the air, and the splash of fresh blood on the floor was jarring. Jian Han sat slumped by the bedside, his body trembling with violent coughs.

“Senior Brother Jian, you…?” Youchuan was full of worry. To an outsider, it might have looked as if something had gone wrong with his cultivation and he was on the verge of falling into a demonic state. He stepped forward to check on Jian Han and only felt relieved after finding there was no immediate danger to his life.

Jian Han gasped for air, his eyes bloodshot. He stared at the mess on the floor, yet the pain and anger in his heart did not diminish in the slightest. He raised his eyes to Youchuan. “I, Jian Han, have never slacked. I cultivate diligently every day. Why do I never receive the recognition I deserve?”

His voice echoed in the room, sounding as if he were desperate for an answer from the person before him, yet also as if he were questioning himself.

“Senior Brother Jian…” Youchuan started to speak but stopped.

Jian Han stood up, his thoughts like a tangled mess of jealousy, resentment, and self-doubt. “Gu Qingzhi is extraordinarily gifted; I accept that I cannot match him. But Yan Luochen? He is just a kid who recently joined. On what grounds…?”

The more Jian Han thought, the angrier he became. He kicked the cabinet beside him. It collapsed with a crash, its contents scattering everywhere. Youchuan tried to stop him but was too late. “Senior Brother, stop kicking!”

“Senior Brother, don’t you feel you’ve become obsessed? It isn’t that you are bad—it is simply that they are too outstanding!”

Hearing this, Jian Han stopped. He looked up at the ceiling, tears flickering in his eyes. “Must I live in their shadow for my entire life?” His voice trembled, his heart full of despair.

Looking at the current Jian Han, Youchuan’s heart ached. “Senior Brother Jian! Why must you compare yourself to others? You have worked hard; as long as you are true to your efforts, you should have no regrets.”

“Furthermore… in my heart, you are the most formidable Eldest Disciple.”

Outside, a gentle breeze carried the fragrance of flowers and grass, but the beautiful scent could not smooth the waves in Jian Han’s heart. It was unclear if he had truly processed Youchuan’s words. He slowly crouched down, clutching his head, and began to sob painfully.

“I’m not willing… I’m just not willing…”

Jian Han’s cries echoed in the room, full of endless sorrow. Driven by an inexplicable impulse, Youchuan walked over and wrapped his arms around Jian Han, providing silent comfort.

After a long time, Jian Han’s emotions finally settled. He stood up, wiped the tears from his face, and a trace of determination reignited in his eyes. “I won’t give up like this. I must prove myself. I’ll let everyone know that I, Jian Han, am not inferior to anyone!”

The fighting spirit was rekindled in his heart. Youchuan wore a warm smile and said softly, “Senior Brother, you don’t need to be in such a hurry to prove anything. In my heart, as long as you don’t belittle yourself, you are already very good.”

“Besides, hasn’t the Sect Leader always asked you to help with sect affairs? He has never asked Gu Qingzhi to handle those. This alone proves that he values you greatly.”

If Gu Yuan truly didn’t value his eldest disciple, it was unlikely he would trust him with such complex administrative matters. Jian Han had simply trapped himself in a mental loop, seeing only one side of the situation while ignoring many important details and deeper meanings.

He took a deep breath. At this moment, he had no desire to deal with the wreckage in the room. He simply focused his gaze on Youchuan and said, “Thank you.”

Seeing that he was alright, Youchuan began to tidy up the mess. His movements were brisk and orderly as he spoke: “Just now, Senior Brother Gu, Junior Brother Yan, Senior Brother Xu, and Chuwan left the sect to go on a journey of tempering.”

Jian Han’s face filled with confusion. “Then why didn’t you go with them?”

Youchuan’s movements paused for a split second. A trace of complex emotion flashed in his eyes before he resumed tidying. He said calmly, “There are already four of them. And compared to leaving the sect, I wanted to stay by your side, Senior Brother.”

Jian Han’s heart skipped a beat. He stared at Youchuan’s busy silhouette, and an inexplicable feeling began to sprout in the depths of his soul. “Youchuan, why do you…” treat me so well? He couldn’t bring himself to say the last part.

Youchuan stopped moving entirely. He straightened up and looked at Jian Han, as if he knew exactly what the unspoken words were. He replied:

“Because you are worth it.”

Jian Han felt a surge of mixed emotions. So, there really is someone who will stand by my side unconditionally? He stood there silently, watching Youchuan slowly return the room to its orderly state.

Meanwhile, the four disciples on their journey had been flying for half a day. It was now twilight. The setting sun was like blood, dyeing the horizon a deep red and coating the world in a warm orange glow. They finally arrived at Sunset Town.

At the entrance of the town, a cold wind blew past, carrying a faint, lingering demonic aura. The aura was subtle yet bone-chilling. Chuwan couldn’t help but shiver, her arms instinctively wrapping around her chest. Seeing this, Xu Xingye quickly spoke to comfort her: “Don’t be afraid. We are here.”

His gaze was steady and gentle, attempting to provide her with a sense of security. Hearing this, Chuwan pouted. “Who said I was afraid? I just felt a sudden chill and couldn’t help shivering.”

As she spoke, her gaze drifted uncertainly toward Gu Qingzhi, her eyes filled with a touch of curiosity.