Empress, Can I? [Transmigration + GL] - Chapter 81

One day, Xuan Jingchi received a report that Xuan Jingning was returning triumphantly with her troops and would reach the capital in a few days.

Xuan Jingchi was overjoyed, grinning from ear to ear as she contemplated what rewards to bestow upon her sister, then pondering which auspicious date to set for Xuan Jingning and Shangguan Wei’s wedding.

Xiao Yueli asked, “Has Your Majesty decided to arrange the Grand Princess’s marriage to Shangguan Wei?”

Xuan Jingchi nodded. “I promised my sister. Moreover,” she added with a sly smile, “I’ve already thought of how to explain it to the ministers.”

“Oh?” Xiao Yueli looked up, seeing her confident expression and knowing she had prepared her reasoning.

Sure enough, Xuan Jingchi continued, “I’ll say I was deeply concerned about my sister’s marital prospects and prayed to the gods. They revealed that her destiny carries excessive yang energy, making it proper for her to marry a woman. As for whether she should marry or be married into the family, I’ll let the court ministers debate and decide. How’s that?”

“Only you could devise such a scheme,” Xiao Yueli said with an exasperated smile. “You blame everything on the gods—aren’t you afraid they’ll grow angry?”

“The gods are most reasonable. Seeing my sister and Shangguan Wei’s mutual affection, they wouldn’t dream of separating them and would gladly help me with this small favor.”

Xiao Yueli smiled faintly. Noting Xuan Jingchi’s high spirits, she said, “Your Majesty, the Mid-Autumn Festival approaches. Since Chancellor Dugu is your maternal uncle, perhaps you should visit him during the festivities?”

Xuan Jingchi looked up from her memorials, tilting her head at Xiao Yueli and blinking. “What are you implying, Empress? Surely you’re not simply suggesting I visit my uncle?”

Xiao Yueli lowered her head to continue writing, her expression calm. “Your Majesty, your abrupt appointments of Meng Wan and Shangguan Meng as chancellors shocked the court. Others may overlook it, but have you considered how your uncle might perceive this?”

Xuan Jingchi froze, recalling her uncle Dugu Jinyu’s expression during court that day. Her heart sank.

Would Uncle think I’m promoting my own faction to counterbalance him? Would he suspect me of kicking away the ladder after crossing the river?

What should I do? If Uncle truly believes this, it would be disastrous!

“Your Majesty needn’t worry excessively. To untie the bell, one must seek the hand that tied it. When we visit the Right Chancellor’s residence for Mid-Autumn Festival, I’ll accompany you, and all misunderstandings will surely dissolve.”

Xiao Yueli still hadn’t lifted her head. Her brush moved with fluid ease, never faltering, her perfect profile radiating an innate composure.

Calm and unhurried, unswayed by glory or disgrace, as though nothing in this world could ever trouble her.

Xuan Jingchi watched her silently, her gaze shifting from affection to admiration, then from admiration to respect, before finally growing complex.

In the presence of such a woman, she suddenly felt immature, shallow, willful—even somewhat self-deluded.

An emotion called inferiority weighed heavily on her heart without reason, and the faint smile that usually graced her face gradually faded.

A strange thought suddenly surfaced in her mind: What kind of person would be worthy of the Empress?

Her lips twitched into a strained smile as the answer formed in her heart.

It must be someone omnipotent, powerful enough, flawless.

Like the most dazzling deity, one to be looked up to in reverence.

“Your Majesty, what are you thinking about?”

Having heard no word from Xuan Jingchi for a while, the unusual silence prompted Xiao Yueli to glance up at her.

With just one look, she was surprised to find Xuan Jingchi’s gaze fixed on her—unusually complex, unlike anything she had ever seen before.

“Your Majesty, what’s wrong?” Xiao Yueli set down her brush, looking at her seriously. “Are you… unwilling to go to the Right Chancellor’s residence?”

“No,” Xuan Jingchi shook her head, smiling openly. “With the Empress by my side, is there any place under heaven I wouldn’t dare to go?”

Xuan Jingchi stared intently at her and suddenly asked, “Empress, have you ever encountered a problem you couldn’t solve?”

Xiao Yueli smiled gently. “Naturally, I have. But where there’s a will, there’s a way. With enough effort, any problem can be resolved.”

“The Empress speaks wisely.” Xuan Jingchi nodded, yet she felt no joy in her heart.

She knew that, compared to herself, Xiao Yueli was far more suited to be the emperor.

She was talented, strategic, composed, and resolute.

And one more thing—the most undeniable point—when forced to choose between emotion and state affairs, she would unhesitatingly choose the latter.

Not like herself.

Emotion was always her weakness, her most fatal flaw.

In the face of Xiao Yueli’s radiant brilliance, as pure and dazzling as the bright moon, she seemed dim and insignificant.

Xuan Jingchi felt her head grow hot, as though she were on the verge of losing all reason.

She asked herself over and over in her heart, Xuan Jingchi, are you angry?

Angry that you fall short of the Empress in every way, that you only became emperor and won her because of your status?

Otherwise, how could you ever be worthy of her?

Abruptly, she stood up, glanced at the Empress, and said, “I’m going out.”

With that, she strode hurriedly out of the hall.

Xiao Yueli watched her retreating figure disappear beyond the palace doors, her brow deeply furrowed and her heart uneasy. What was wrong with Jingchi?

“Leng Qiuci! Leng Qiuci! Where are you?”

Xuan Jingchi arrived at Qinghui Pavilion, brandishing a wooden stick and shouting outside.

Leng Qiuci, who had been practicing swordplay beneath a tree, was startled. She leaped out from the courtyard, a gleaming blue-tipped sword in hand, and said coldly, “What do you want? I haven’t come looking for you, and here you are, seeking me out yourself?”

“Leng Qiuci, do you think I’m afraid of you? Come on, let’s fight!”

Leng Qiuci sneered, “You, challenging me? Are you looking to die?”

Her contemptuous tone infuriated Xuan Jingchi in that moment.

Xuan Jingchi raised her staff and struck straight at Leng Qiuci’s head. Seeing the tremendous force behind the blow, Leng Qiuci didn’t dare to take it lightly. She swiftly leaped aside to avoid it, then spotted the clothes-drying pole in the yard. Immediately discarding her Qingfeng Sword, she grabbed the pole and turned to meet the attack.

Xuan Jingchi’s martial prowess was already considerable, and her techniques, having been instructed by Xuan Jingning, carried the elegance of a master. Unfortunately, her combat experience was still shallow, and she was impatient and restless. After over thirty exchanges, she had been struck on the chest, back, and elbow.

“Still want to fight? I told you, you’re no match for me.”

To her surprise, Xuan Jingchi only grew more determined with each setback, like an enraged little lion—a far cry from the docile, harmless puppy she had been in the cave that day.

“Fight! Why wouldn’t I? Again!”

The maids of Qinghui Pavilion, seeing the Emperor and Leng Qiuci fighting in earnest, were so frightened they ran out to find Meng Wan.

Meng Wan had only been appointed as a participating policymaker for a couple of days. After court, she no longer stayed to assist the Emperor with memorials. Yao Xianhui, noticing she had free time, was just consulting her when a maid from Qinghui Pavilion rushed in anxiously. “My lady, my lady, it’s terrible! You must come quickly! Miss Leng and Her Majesty are fighting!”

What?!!

Meng Wan was so startled she dropped the book in her hand. Immediately lifting the hem of her robe, she hurried back to Qinghui Pavilion at a jog, asking along the way, “How did they start fighting?”

The young maid shook her head. “I don’t know. Her Majesty suddenly came to Qinghui Pavilion just now, spoke a few words with Miss Leng, and then they started fighting.”

Growing increasingly anxious, Meng Wan assumed Leng Qiuci had lost her temper and started a fight with the Emperor after a disagreement.

Arriving at Qinghui Pavilion, she saw broken branches and scattered leaves littering the ground. The clothes hung outside to dry had also suffered—all fallen to the ground, stamped with several footprints.

The two were no longer fighting at the moment. They sat at a table in the courtyard with a jar of wine, drinking bowl after bowl—quite impressively, downing it straight from the bowls.

Leng Qiuci, dressed in white, was completely unharmed and drank without a change in expression.

The opposite Xuan Jingchi, however, was in a sorry state. Not only was her clothing torn in several places, her hair was disheveled, her face dusty, and a swollen bump had risen on her forehead.

After downing a bowl of wine, she covered her mouth, coughing violently.

“Your Majesty, Your Majesty, what’s wrong?” Meng Wan approached, shocked at her appearance, and glared at Leng Qiuci.

Leng Qiuci said, “This time it’s not my fault. She came looking for a fight. She charged at me, and I naturally dodged. She couldn’t stop herself and ran headfirst into the corner. Ask her, isn’t that right?”

Before Meng Wan could say anything, Xuan Jingchi poured herself another bowl, her words already slurred with drunkenness. “That’s right! I was the one who sought her out. She’s skilled in martial arts and doesn’t go easy on me. It’s just a bump on the head, why make such a fuss? Come, come, brother, let’s drink! Let’s drink!”

Leng Qiuci looked helplessly at Meng Wan. “You see? It was your esteemed Majesty who came to fight and drink with me.”

Meng Wan shot her a glare, then turned to Xuan Jingchi and said gently, “Your Majesty, what’s wrong? What happened? You’re not good with alcohol, so you really shouldn’t drink anymore.”

As she spoke, she reached out to take the bowl from her.

Xuan Jingchi said, “No, no, I want to drink! Wan’er, don’t take it away again. If you do, I’ll get angry, really angry!”

Though her tone carried a hint of drunkenness, there was seven parts seriousness in it. Meng Wan’s hand froze mid-air, unsure whether to take the bowl or not.

“Just let her drink,” Leng Qiuci said. “Can’t you see your Majesty is troubled?”

Xuan Jingchi narrowed her eyes and smiled, her peach-blossom eyes becoming even more charming and alluring. “Troubled? I’m the Emperor. I have everything I want. How could someone like me be troubled? Brother, since when have you become so naggy? Are you drinking or not?”

“Me, naggy?” Leng Qiuci glared at her fiercely, picked up her wine bowl, and downed it in one go. “Your turn.”

Xuan Jingchi shakily picked up her bowl, nearly dropping it, startling Meng Wan, who quickly reached out to steady it for her. Xuan Jingchi turned her head and smiled, “Thank you!”

Then, imitating Leng Qiuci, she tilted her head back and gulped it down in one go.

Immediately, two blushes appeared on her cheeks, her gaze grew hazy, and she could no longer sit steadily.

Meng Wan watched with growing anxiety and worry. After a moment’s thought, she decided to inform the Empress.

But just as she turned around, Xuan Jingchi grabbed her sleeve. “What are you doing? Trying to report to the Empress? Not allowed! Stay here! This is an order.”

Meng Wan: “…”

Leng Qiuci: “Your Majesty is drunk and starting to talk nonsense, like she’s chanting spells.”

Xuan Jingchi said, “Not drunk, not drunk. I can still drink.”

Seeing her reach for more wine, Meng Wan hurriedly stopped her. “Your Majesty, don’t drink anymore. Alcohol harms the body.”

“Harms the body? I don’t have a stomach ulcer, nor alcohol poisoning. At most, my liver is a bit overworked. What harm?”

Xuan Jingchi giggled drunkenly, waved her hand, poured herself another bowl, raised it to her lips, and gulped it down again.

After finishing this bowl, Xuan Jingchi suddenly swayed and collapsed straight onto the table.

Meng Wan rushed to support her, only to find her lying motionless on the table, fast asleep.

“How much did Her Majesty drink?”

“Not much, just seven or eight bowls,” Leng Qiuci pointed at the unconscious Xuan Jingchi. “What should we do with her?”

“What should we do?” Meng Wan rubbed her temples. “Her Majesty never drinks like this. Let her rest here for a while.”

No sooner had she spoken than a palace attendant announced loudly, “Her Majesty the Empress has arrived!” Sure enough, Xiao Yueli appeared at the entrance of Qinghui Pavilion. Meng Wan felt as if she had seen a savior. Xiao Yueli glanced at Xuan Jingchi slumped over the table but said nothing, instructing the attendants to help Xuan Jingchi back.

As she was leaving, Xiao Yueli asked, “Did Her Majesty say anything earlier?”

Meng Wan shook her head. “I asked Her Majesty what troubles she had, and she said, ‘I am the emperor, what troubles could I possibly have?'”

Upon hearing this, Xiao Yueli lowered her gaze and remained silent, then returned to the palace without saying a word.

When Nuanxiang and Chenxiang saw the emperor so thoroughly drunk, disheveled and with a large bump on her head, they were both greatly alarmed. Since the princess had ascended the throne, she had never touched alcohol, claiming she disliked the smell of liquor and didn’t want to dull her mind.

Yet this time, she was completely unconscious from drinking.

Though filled with shock and questions, they said nothing, attending to Xuan Jingchi by helping her into bed and wiping away the stains of wine and sweat. As Nuanxiang gently cleaned her face, she suddenly noticed tear tracks at the corners of her eyes and froze, pointing them out to Chenxiang.

Seeing the emperor in tears, Chenxiang was also startled and sighed, “Don’t you think Her Majesty seems like a different person since ascending the throne? When she was still a princess, she would never have silently shed tears like this.”

“Yes, Her Majesty has changed a lot,” Nuanxiang’s eyes reddened. “She’s keeping something in her heart, something that troubles her deeply.” She wiped away the tear stains from Xuan Jingchi’s face. “Being drunk is good—when drunk, one forgets their troubles.”

Xiao Yueli entered and said, “You may both withdraw.”

Nuanxiang and Chenxiang exchanged a glance, then bowed in unison before taking their leave.

The hall was silent, with only the flickering lamplight.

Xiao Yueli sat by the bed, watching the sleeping Xuan Jingchi. Even in sleep, her brows were furrowed, and a few stray strands of hair clung messily to her forehead, adding a touch of sorrow and melancholy.

Gently, Xiao Yueli smoothed away the stray hairs, touched the wound on her temple, and softly caressed her cheek, her heart filled with both pity and concern. “Your Majesty, Jingchi, what is it that grieves you so? Won’t you tell me?”

Late at night, Xuan Jingchi awoke from her drunken stupor. She opened her eyes, stared at the canopy above, and suddenly jolted awake, sitting up abruptly. The movement sent a splitting pain through her head.

She couldn’t help but rub her temples.

“Your Majesty, you’re awake? How are you feeling?”

Xuan Jingchi stared blankly at her. In the candlelight, the usual coolness in Xiao Yueli’s eyes had softened, her expression gentle. Seeing Xuan Jingchi’s dazed look, Xiao Yueli leaned closer, her face full of concern. “Does your head hurt badly?”

“No, it’s not that.” Xuan Jingchi lowered her head and shook it.

“Your Majesty, you can share your troubles with me. I will help you bear them. I only ask that you not harm yourself like this again.”

Xiao Yueli’s tone was gentle. This time, she neither scolded her nor pinched her.

However, the softer her tone became, the more tears gathered in Xuan Jingchi’s eyes.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she buried her head even lower.

“Your Majesty, court affairs cannot be rushed. As the saying goes, haste makes waste. Governing the world requires caution and prudence in all matters. If Your Majesty is unwilling to visit the Right Chancellor’s residence, I will go on your behalf.”

“No, that’s not it,” Xuan Jingchi took a deep breath. “I’m not unwilling. I’m very happy to visit my uncle’s home.”

Xiao Yueli was slightly taken aback, thinking to herself, “His Majesty drank today, got into a fight, and must be feeling deeply troubled. If it’s not about this matter, then what could it be?”

“Yueli,” Xuan Jingchi hugged the quilt, her head hanging low.

Xiao Yueli silently watched her, waiting for her to continue.

“I know,” Xuan Jingchi’s voice choked with sobs, “I’m not worthy of you. Please give me some time. I will make myself worthy of you.”

Xiao Yueli stiffened all over, staring blankly at Xuan Jingchi…

“I know, if it weren’t for that Xuan Jingchi forcing you into marriage, you would have married a better person—someone talented, insightful, and decisive. You would have had a more beautiful life. Instead of… being with someone as dull and unremarkable as me…”

At this point, Xuan Jingchi could no longer continue. Tears streamed down her cheeks like a breached dam, flooding her face.

After studying for over a decade, she had worked hard for more than ten years, achieving various first-place honors and receiving countless praises. Yet, no day had ever made her feel as defeated as today.

Because she realized she was utterly unworthy of the person she loved.

“Jingchi,”

Xuan Jingchi felt herself being pulled into a warm embrace.

“Do you remember the song you sang?”

Xuan Jingchi: “…”

“If I hadn’t met you, I would still be in the darkness.”

Hearing this, Xuan Jingchi abruptly lifted her head, her tear-filled eyes wide with astonishment.

“You’ve already given me the most beautiful life,” Xiao Yueli’s eyes glistened with tears as she smiled. “You are bright, passionate, warm, and full of love, shining as brilliantly as the sun in the sky. There is no one in this world who captivates me more or is more deserving of my love than you.”

She held Xuan Jingchi tightly, resting her head against her neck, and said through her tears, “So, please don’t make me leave you.”