Empress, Can I? [Transmigration + GL] - Chapter 37

Note: I fixed the errors in the previous chapters. Enjoy reading!

A few days later, Xuan Jingchi’s injuries improved, but she still excused Meng Wan from attending lectures, instructing her to oversee the revision of the Minghua Canon at the Wen Yuan Pavilion during the day and return early in the evenings to accompany her mother.

Xuan Jingchi’s decision was largely self-serving. If Meng Wan were to attend lectures, she would have no excuse to keep the Empress by her side.

Faced with the choice between a subordinate and her wife, Xuan Jingchi naturally chose her wife without hesitation.

When only the two of them remained in the side chamber, Xiao Yueli hesitated before finally speaking. “Your Majesty, by not summoning Meng Wan to accompany you for several consecutive days, I fear she may interpret it as Your Majesty harboring resentment toward her because of the Leng Qiuci incident.”

Hearing this, Xuan Jingchi, who had been idly playing with the Scent Pouch at her waist, froze.

This new Scent Pouch was recently made by Xiao Yueli. It was still crafted from green brocade, but the design had changed from fish playing among lotus leaves to a bright peony with a white jade butterfly fluttering above it.

When Xuan Jingchi woke up that morning, she noticed the old pouch hanging by her bedside was gone, replaced by this new one.

Upon asking, neither Nuanxiang nor Chenxiang knew anything about it—it hadn’t been them who hung it there. Xuan Jingchi immediately understood: it was the Empress.

She was overjoyed, grinning widely for a long time. After dressing, she promptly fastened the new Scent Pouch to her waist.

That day, when she saw Xiao Yueli, the usually inarticulate Xuan Jingchi blurted out, “A cherry-like mouth of Fan Su. Not loving gold, but longing for love everlasting.”

This line was from Su Dongpo’s “Butterfly Loves Flowers.” She had heard Meng Wan recite it before. Though she didn’t fully grasp the later verses about sorrow and longing, this particular line—”Not loving gold, but longing for love everlasting”—had left a deep impression on her.

At the time, Xiao Yueli had glanced up at her. Xuan Jingchi smiled faintly, then shyly lowered her head.

“Surely not? Wan’er wouldn’t think that way.”

Xiao Yueli replied, “Your Majesty must not forget that Meng Wan also has a deep-seated grudge against you. When Leng Qiuci sought to kill you for revenge, Your Majesty magnanimously let her go. But since then, you haven’t summoned Meng Wan once. How could she not grow suspicious?”

Xuan Jingchi nodded. “The Empress is right. I was careless. I’ll summon Meng Wan tonight to read to me.”

However, Xiao Yueli said, “I ask Your Majesty to consider carefully whether this person can still be trusted. In my view, loyalty comes first when employing someone. No matter how talented they are, if they lack loyalty, they cannot be fully trusted—lest it bring disaster upon oneself.”

Xuan Jingchi paused and lowered her head. Regardless of whether Meng Wan might seize the opportunity to take revenge and kill her, even if she never got the chance, if Meng Wan harbored disloyalty, she could later be used by those with ill intentions and turn against her.

Xuan Jingchi remained silent for a long time.

She understood that the Empress was waiting for her decision.

To her, it was just a statement, but for Meng Wan, these words would determine her entire fate.

After a prolonged silence, Xuan Jingchi looked up and said, “I am willing to trust Meng Wan.”

She met Xiao Yueli’s gaze and continued, “I want to give her a chance to fulfill her aspirations. At the same time, I’m giving myself the chance to learn to trust someone wholeheartedly.”

In the Qinghui Courtyard, Lady Zheng looked at her daughter sitting at the desk with a somber expression and let out a long sigh. “My child, rest early. You know Her Majesty’s health has been poor, and recovery takes time—that’s why she hasn’t summoned you for readings. Take this chance to rest properly. I can see you’ve grown thinner these past days.”

Meng Wan forced a dry smile. “Mother, you’re talking nonsense again. How have I grown thinner? You should go to bed. I’ll read a little longer and then retire as well.”

Lady Zheng nodded but did not leave.

Meng Wan lifted her gaze from the book and, noticing her mother’s hesitant expression, smiled. “Did you have something to say, Mother?”

Lady Zheng sighed. “My child, I’ve heard about Xiao Leng’s matter. After what happened, the Emperor surely has her own thoughts. What I want to say is, whether you continue serving Her Majesty or we leave the palace to return to our hometown, I will support you.”

Meng Wan was taken aback. “Mother!”

She had expected her mother to bring up old grievances and past hatreds, but to her surprise, her mother said nothing of the sort.

“You studied diligently for thirteen years. I still remember how your hands were covered in chilblains during the winter months, swollen beyond recognition. Yet you would clutch your books at night, reading under the corridor lanterns, shivering in the cold…”

“Mother, why bring up the past?” Meng Wan replied with a faint smile.

How could she forget?

As a Sin Slave in the palace, her days were spent washing piles of clothes, and her nights were devoted to relentless study.

Everyone mocked her—what was a Sin Slave doing reading so much? Did she think she could soar to the heavens?

Each time she heard such taunts, the young Meng Wan gritted her teeth and endured.

She refused to spend her life trapped in this sunless place!

She refused to live like a walking corpse, drifting through life in a daze!

She wanted out!

Her only hope was to study hard, to become the most learned person she could be.

When she received the summons from Her Majesty, it felt like the first ray of light piercing her dark and frigid existence.

“My child, from what I’ve seen, Her Majesty is a benevolent and compassionate ruler. You are an ambitious person, and to encounter such a wise sovereign is your good fortune.”

With these words, Lady Zheng finally rose slowly to leave. “Rest early, and don’t dwell on things too much.”

As midnight approached, Meng Wan set down her book, blew out the candle, and lay in bed. Yet sleep eluded her for a long time.

Her mother’s words were not just urging her to remain loyal, to serve Her Majesty and fulfill her ambitions—they also carried an implicit plea to let go of hatred.

When the Meng family was condemned, she had been but a babe in swaddling clothes.

Her mother had never spoken of the past, of the execution of their entire household. It was only as she grew older that she heard fragments of the story from other Sin Slaves.

“Sister Wan, has the emperor’s promise of high rank and generous salary made you forget even your own blood feud?!!”

Leng Qiuci’s words pierced her heart once more.

At the thought of Leng Qiuci, that figure in flowing white robes, Meng Wan could no longer sleep.

She threw on her clothes, pushed open the door, and stepped into the courtyard.

Under the large tree in the courtyard, she remembered one time when she was playing the qin, a white figure suddenly appeared in her field of vision, dancing gracefully to the melody of her music.

That person had sparkling beautiful eyes, shoulders as if carved, sleeves fluttering in the wind, with an elegant and graceful bearing.

It was the first time she’d seen someone whose dance could blend so perfectly with her qin music, as if made in heaven.

That was after the emperor’s birthday banquet, the first time she’d seen this young girl dance.

“Sister Wan, may I call you Sister Wan?” the girl had asked with large, watery eyes, her gaze pure and full of expectation.

Unable to refuse such a look, Meng Wan nodded, “You may.”

The girl smiled. She was already stunningly beautiful, and this smile made her even more delicate and touching, evoking tender affection.

She asked her, “Do you wish to remain in the palace or leave? If you want to leave, I can ask Her Majesty to arrange for you to enter the Grand Princess’s manor.”

Leng Qiuci laughed, “I won’t leave the palace. Since I’d be a dancer wherever I go, why not stay here? At least I can still see Sister Wan and hear her play the qin.”

With that, she rested her head on Meng Wan’s lap, her white dress spreading beneath the tree like a blooming white lotus,

unstained by the mud.

She looked up at her, eyes burning bright, “Sister Wan, thank you for stepping forward to save me.”

Meng Wan replied, “No, it was Her Majesty who saved you.”

“No, don’t mention her. I only remember your kindness, Sister Wan.”

Meng Wan gazed at the bright moon in the sky, its light like water, like poetry.

Xiao Leng, I never knew you harbored such deep hatred toward Her Majesty.

I’m sorry, but I must still serve Her Majesty. Because the Xuan Jingchi I know truly is a good emperor.

The evening breeze blew in gusts as moonlight danced through the shadows.

Meng Wan couldn’t help but feel the autumn chill. She tightened her robe around herself.

Looking up at the moon, she murmured, “Xiao Leng, are you doing well out there all alone?”