Drunk on Madness - Chapter 59

The sunlight was just right, and the breeze was gentle.

Zhou Mingxuan and Li Xiang stepped onto the bluestone-paved road, weaving through the bustling crowd. This was the most prosperous street market in the capital, lined with shops offering a dazzling array of exotic treasures, exquisite silks, and delicious snacks.

Zhou Mingxuan smiled faintly, patiently following behind her, occasionally selecting delicate trinkets for her himself.

Li Xiang admired the surroundings while softly conversing with him, sharing their preferences and experiences.

As they passed a stall selling pastries, Zhou Mingxuan stopped and bought a portion of mung bean cakes, handing them to Li Xiang. “Have a bite to tide you over,” he said.

Li Xiang took one with one hand and bit into the mung bean cake. With her other hand, she raised a candied hawthorn skewer and gently brought it to Zhou Mingxuan’s lips. He obligingly took a bite, his eyes shimmering with tenderness.

Li Xiang felt awkward under his lingering gaze and quickly turned her head away, pretending not to notice.

Not far from them, the sound of gongs and drums created a lively atmosphere. Li Xiang stood on her tiptoes. “It’s so bustling up ahead. Let’s go take a look.”

Zhou Mingxuan frowned. The crowd was dense, but since they had finally managed to get out, he didn’t want to dampen Li Xiang’s spirits. He handed the food to the guard behind them, and with their fingers interlaced, they made their way toward the lively street.

Su Mo stood at a high vantage point in a tavern. He had changed into fresh clothes, though his hair was still slightly damp.

He watched the two figures weaving through the crowd below, their intimate gestures of feeding each other, their interlocked fingers, and his doting affection for her. Amid the bustling throng, Su Mo’s gaze gradually grew inscrutable.

Suddenly, someone in the crowd tossed several pieces of broken silver into the air, shouting, “Whose money is this?” Chaos ensued. Zhou Mingxuan tightly shielded Li Xiang beside him, but amid the jostling of people scrambling for the coins, Li Xiang slipped out of his embrace as the crowd surged toward Zhou Mingxuan and his companions.

Zhou Mingxuan watched helplessly as Li Xiang drifted farther and farther away. He raised his hand high, trying to grasp the hem of her clothes.

Fear gripped his heart as he repeatedly called out her name: “Xiangxiang, Xiangxiang.”

The clamor of the crowd drowned out his voice. She seemed to hear him and turned back to look at him. His fingers finally managed to hook the edge of her clothes, but as he pulled, the fabric tore away. Separated by the crowd, he could only watch as she drifted farther and farther away.

Li Xiang glanced back at Zhou Mingxuan. Only when he was completely out of sight did she snap out of her daze. Su Mo helped her onto a black horse, and as they rode, her hair became tousled by the wind, and her heart grew unsettled.

“Where are we going?” Li Xiang asked.

Su Mo cracked the whip without answering. He held her tightly against his chest, his heart pounding like a drum, rapid and forceful, as if it might leap out of his chest at any moment.

He didn’t know where they were going. He only knew that he had missed her, for a long time. Such a perfect opportunity, he couldn’t let it slip away.

Su Mo brought Li Xiang to a courtyard house, a private property he had recently purchased. The courtyard was small and usually deserted.

Li Xiang looked at the empty yard, puzzled as to why Su Mo had brought her there. Su Mo brought over a pot of tea from somewhere, and the two sat in silence, momentarily at a loss for words.

Noticing her unease, Su Mo was momentarily taken aback before breaking into a smile. He moved his chair closer and said, “What’s wrong? Why do you seem so distant with me?” As he spoke, he took Li Xiang’s hand in his.

Li Xiang struggled slightly, but seeing that he remained unmoved, she had no choice but to give up. “Su Mo, please don’t do this.”

“Since I’ve been caught and brought back, let’s just give up on us,” she said, finally meeting Su Mo’s gaze. “I’m tired. I don’t want to keep choosing between you and him. Today I leave with you, tomorrow he catches me again. I’ve finally convinced myself, please don’t stir up my feelings again. Okay?”

A flicker of pain crossed Su Mo’s eyes, and the fingers gripping her wrist trembled slightly.

Ignoring his distress, she said calmly, “You and he have been close since childhood, with a deep bond. Just because he forgave us last time doesn’t mean he will this time. If we keep going back and forth like this, all three of us will suffer.”

Su Mo stared at Li Xiang, his eyes swirling with unreadable emotions. Suddenly, he asked, “Have you fallen in love with him?”

Li Xiang brushed aside the stray hairs at her temple and replied indifferently, “I’m sorry. I’ve let you down.”

Su Mo’s eyes reddened slightly as he suppressed the anger in his heart and softened his voice. “You’re angry with me, aren’t you? I didn’t come for you for half a year. You’re upset, right?”

Li Xiang stood up and said coldly, “No, I know you have your difficulties. But since things have already been decided, let’s not look back.”

Su Mo, his face pale, also rose to his feet. He gripped her shoulders and pleaded through gritted teeth, “But my future has no meaning without you.”

Suppressing the panic in his heart, he tried to reason with her. “Think it over again. I won’t force you. I’ve already made plans. Once-”

Before he could finish, Li Xiang pressed his hands and said, “Su Mo, I don’t want to leave my children. I can’t afford to gamble with the consequences of failure. Do you understand?”

At these words, Su Mo froze, muttering, “There will be a way. There will be a way.”

Past pains surged in her heart again. She tightened her grip on his cold hand and said bitterly, “We both have too much we can’t let go of. Why put ourselves through this? It’s not worth it.”

Su Mo seemed unable to comprehend her words, murmuring to himself as he repeated, “Not worth it. Not worth it.”

Even if it meant waiting a lifetime with no result, Su Mo was willing to wait. But he couldn’t bear to hear her say their love wasn’t worth it.

He stared blankly at Li Xiang, an indescribable emotion churning in his eyes, as if he were on the verge of losing control.

Having said all this, Li Xiang didn’t want to stay any longer. She prepared to leave, but before her hand could touch the door, Su Mo pulled her back, holding her tightly in his arms despite her struggles, and carried her into the room.

Su Mo laid her on the bed and began to remove her clothes. Li Xiang was in disbelief, she had never imagined Su Mo could have such a frenzied side. With her hands pinned above her head, she couldn’t break free and could only plead, “Su Mo, don’t make me hate you.”

Su Mo stiffened at her words, a suffocating pain gripping his chest. His eyes were full of hurt. “Xiang Xiang, I’m begging you, please don’t give up on me.”

“I can hold onto hope and wait for you for a lifetime. I don’t want to hear you say such hurtful things.”

He then leaned in to gently kiss her lips, but Li Xiang turned her head away.

After a moment of silence, she said, “Su Mo, you deserve a better woman. Forget me. It’s better for everyone.”

Su Mo felt as if his heart had been torn out. The hurt in his eyes was replaced by a trace of ruthlessness. “Do you love him that much?”

Li Xiang did not look into his eyes and was unaware of his emotions. She maintained her previous posture, pondering how to persuade him to let go of the past. “I want to be with him.”

These words pierced Su Mo’s heart like a blade. He felt as though he were in hell, beyond saving. The pain was so intense that he let out a bitter laugh, no longer caring about anything. He thought the world had lost all meaning.

Zhou Mingxuan had mobilized three thousand guards from the palace to search for Li Xiang house by house. As the search dragged on, his heart grew heavy, as if shrouded in the chill of winter.

When the stars began to dot the sky, he finally remembered the people by the lake. Leading a team of guards, he arrived at Taiqing Lake. After stopping the boat, he questioned Gu Ci about Su Mo’s whereabouts.

Gu Ci had visited Su Mo’s room at noon and noticed his discarded clothes, but Su Mo was not there. The other six, intimidated by the Crown Prince’s aggressive demeanor, remained silent.

Seeing Gu Ci’s silence, Zhou Mingxuan shoved him aside and prepared to search the rooms himself. Before he could take more than a few steps, Su Mo emerged from a room, dressed in fine silk, and asked, “What does the Crown Prince need from me?”

At the sight of Su Mo, Zhou Mingxuan’s face turned pale, and his heart raced with panic. Beads of cold sweat formed on his forehead. If it wasn’t Su Mo, then who else could it be?