Drunk on Madness - Chapter 45

After Li Xiang fell asleep, Zhou Mingxuan was lost in thought. He stepped out of the room and cast a sharp glance at the servants who usually attended to Li Xiang.

The servants hurriedly knelt down. Zhou Mingxuan asked, “Nanny Li, was it you who prepared the tea last night?”

Nanny Li lowered her head, a trace of fear in her heart. “Yes, Your Highness, it was this old servant.”

Zhou Mingxuan gazed at her expressionlessly, his beautiful peach-blossom eyes flickering with contemplation. “Come with me.”

Nanny Li followed him as he walked toward the pavilion in the courtyard. Zhou Mingxuan got straight to the point: “What kind of medicine did you put in the tea you gave the consort last night?” He knew Nanny Li was his mother’s confidante, so the order must have come from her.

Nanny Li’s heart skipped a beat, and she quickly knelt again. “Your Highness, it was the Xiaoyao Pill.”

She immediately assured him, “Rest assured, Your Highness, this medicine is not some vile substance. It merely enhances intimacy between husband and wife, making a woman more receptive to relations and thus aiding conception.”

A chilly breeze swept through the pavilion, causing the lantern flames to flicker and the loose strands of hair on his forehead to sway. He continued, “Since when has this medicine been administered?”

Nanny Li dared not conceal the truth and promptly replied, “Since the day of Your Highness’s wedding.”

Zhou Mingxuan lowered his long lashes, concealing the fleeting gloom in his eyes. So that was it. Behind what seemed like a perfect union lay the influence of a pill. Because of this pill, he had believed there was some affection between them and likely, she had stopped resisting him for the same reason.

His heart ached uncontrollably, his handsome face stiffening slightly as a complex emotion flashed through his sharp, dark eyes. Had he known this earlier, he would have preferred to remain ignorant.

After a long silence, Zhou Mingxuan finally spoke. “The consort has just given birth. There’s no need to continue using this medicine. Replace it with another aphrodisiac incense but ensure she doesn’t notice anything amiss.”

Without waiting for Nanny Li’s response, he turned and returned to his room to rest. Gazing at Li Xiang’s peaceful sleeping face, he couldn’t resist kissing her forehead. In his heart, he resolved: whether it was the medicine or deception, as long as it kept her by his side, he no longer cared.

The next day, Nanny Li arrived at Zhou Mingxuan’s study with a large medicine chest. Zhou Mingxuan examined the dozens of aphrodisiacs inside, reviewing their effects and side effects.

Nanny Li had already filtered them, so most were mild and did not impair rationality. The only drawback was that prolonged use could lead to an addiction to intimacy in women.

Zhou Mingxuan didn’t consider this drawback a bad thing. If it made her unable to leave him, so be it. The only issue was that he would never know whether her actions were voluntary or induced by the medicine. But recalling her indifferent demeanor the previous night, as if she were detached from everything, he felt unwilling to accept it.

If he had never seen her responsiveness in bed, he could have waited patiently for her to gradually accept him and compromise. But now that she had responded to him under the influence of the medicine, he couldn’t bear to return to how things were before. He wanted her emotional reciprocation, even if it was self-deception.

What he feared most was that one day, after stopping the medicine, she might suddenly realize her attachment to him was merely the effect of the aphrodisiac. Would she then rekindle her feelings for Su Mo? The thought left Zhou Mingxuan’s heart in turmoil.

Today was the Lantern Festival, and the Prince’s mansion was adorned with lanterns and colorful decorations. The family gathered merrily to enjoy sweet rice dumplings. Knowing that her son would embark on another long journey the next day, Princess Consort Zhao of Yan stayed up late into the night with the family in the courtyard, reminiscing and chatting, before reluctantly retiring to their respective rooms.

Zhou Mingxuan took the tea personally brewed by Nanny Li and dismissed the servants with a wave. Suddenly, he grasped her hand solemnly and asked, “Xiangxiang, my departure this time will likely keep me away for another year.” His gaze was firm, locking onto her. “Will you miss me?”

Li Xiang was puzzled by his sudden question. Everyone around her was connected to him in some way, and she didn’t want to dwell on it. She lowered her head without answering.

Zhou Mingxuan lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Xiangxiang, you won’t leave me, right?” He wanted to hear her assurance.

Li Xiang, confused, replied offhandedly, “If I wanted to leave, would you let me go?” Zhou Mingxuan tightened his grip. “We already have Yiyi and Qingqing. Can’t you accept me now?”

Li Xiang found it almost amusing. “What does having children change? Am I supposed to follow you unconditionally for the rest of my life?” Her expression turned serious as she continued, “Don’t try to use the children to tie me down.”

Zhou Mingxuan frowned, his handsome brow creasing. “You… still think about Su Mo.”

A faint mockery flickered in Li Xiang’s dark, unreadable eyes. “Does what I think even matter? Do you care, or does Su Mo? The children are here now. What’s the point of bringing up the past? Would you let me go and start anew with him?”

Releasing her hand, Zhou Mingxuan lowered his lashes. The steam from the teacup rose slowly, drifting into his hair.

For some reason, Li Xiang felt a pang of irritation. She steadied herself and said, “Zhou Mingxuan, Su Mo was once my lover… your sworn brother. Though fate kept us apart, he will always be a part of our lives. Neither of us can erase his existence. I care about him, yes. I want him to live well, nothing more.”

“Instead of demanding promises from me, why not prove yourself worthy of being my husband and the father of my children?”

Zhou Mingxuan’s expression became inscrutable at her words.

Li Xiang pressed on, “In life, not all feelings bear fruit. I’m someone who goes with the flow. I hope you won’t disappoint me.”

An indescribable emotion surged in Zhou Mingxuan’s chest. He knew that in her heart, he could never measure up to Su Mo. Seeing him stare blankly at the teacup, ignoring her words, Li Xiang stood up to retire for the night.

Zhou Mingxuan’s eyes flickered with conflict. He downed the tea in one gulp and set the cup back on the round table. Before Li Xiang could react, he bent down and swept her into his arms. A kiss, heavy with the scent of tea, crashed over her. She pushed against his chest, struggling to break free.

“Mmph!” Her protests were muffled. To her horror, as she gasped, a bitter liquid was forced into her mouth. The sudden motion made her dizzy, and an inexplicable panic seized her.

Li Xiang thrashed, but it was futile. Zhou Mingxuan was far stronger, his arms an unyielding prison. “Put me down!” she shouted.

Zhou Mingxuan turned a deaf ear and strode straight into the bedroom, placing Li Xiang on the bed before covering her body with his own. Meeting her frightened gaze, he breathed heavily, “Xiangxiang, I want you.”

They had done this many times before, yet for some reason today it suddenly made her uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because they had talked about Su Mo earlier, leaving her unsettled.

With one hand, he pinned down Li Xiang’s arms, while the other tightly encircled her waist, pulling her close. His lips lightly brushed her ear before slowly trailing elsewhere.

Their bodies were pressed close, Zhou Mingxuan’s scorching breath fanning across Li Xiang’s face in waves. Flustered, she pleaded, “You’re leaving on a long trip tomorrow. Why don’t we let Yiyi and Qingqing sleep with us tonight? Please?”

Zhou Mingxuan paid no heed, and her words of refusal were ultimately swallowed back unspoken.