Dr. Chi’s Mission: Seduce Officer Su - Chapter 46

The midday sun filtered through the dense layers of leaves, casting a warm glow on Su Qiao’s face, yet the intense gloom overshadowed any semblance of warmth.

As if drained of her soul by the weight of painful memories, her vacant eyes could no longer reflect any clarity of light. Even the figure before her, restraining heartache, grew increasingly blurred.

She remained slumped against the railing, allowing Chi Jue to gently wipe the stains from her face.

“Let’s go, we’ll offer incense to Mom. Be good.” Chi Jue hugged the trembling little bear tightly, filled with regret for not stepping forward to shield her from the shoves and insults.

There was no reason for her to always hide behind Su Qiao, protected unconditionally.

In the balance of love, protection must be mutual, otherwise, the scale would tip.

When emotions resonated, Su Qiao’s suppressed pain reverberated through her senses, an indescribable heaviness lingering in her chest, refusing to fade.

Su Qiao forced a smile, but the bitterness in it made the expression appear strained.

“I’m sorry for making you worry.” She blamed herself for letting her girlfriend witness such a wretched scene and was eager to soothe the distress she had caused.

“Don’t apologize, okay? No matter what happened in the past, you don’t owe me an apology. I wasn’t part of it, but I don’t want you hurting yourself like this.” Chi Jue’s voice, like the early spring breeze, softened the ache and reproach, carrying warmth into the little bear’s ears.

“Does it still hurt?” She gently massaged Su Qiao’s forehead again. Compared to the unanswered questions, all she cared about now was whether her beloved was still in pain.

“With you here, it doesn’t hurt.” Su Qiao clasped the hand on her forehead, pressing it tenderly against her cheek. The words admitting her inadequacy lingered on the tip of her tongue, yet they felt harder to utter than the humiliating kowtows she had endured before everyone.

After a long hesitation, she sighed despondently, “Actually… I’m not as good as you think I am.”

Holding Chi Jue’s hand, she fell silent again, only relaxing her sorrowful expression slightly when they stood before her mother’s tombstone.

Her mother’s grave was tucked in the farthest corner of the first row at the foot of the mountain, simpler and more weathered compared to her grandfather’s.

Yet, the corner had its advantages, it was less likely to be disturbed by visitors paying their respects.

The view near the cliff was expansive, offering an unobstructed sight of the valleys between the two mountains.

Spring had arrived, and soon, vast stretches of farmland would flourish in vibrant green.

Though an unnamed tree stood beside the grave, making the already cramped space even more confined, perhaps this secluded, lonely corner, accompanied by a thriving tree, would keep her mother from feeling too alone.

Su Qiao carefully wiped the dust off the tombstone with a tissue, her fingertips brushing over the graphite portrait as if gently caressing her mother’s eternally youthful face.

Her sorrow struck abruptly, like a sudden clap of spring thunder, resonating through every nerve and causing the muscles in her face to tremble slightly.

Frowning, she tried to ease the overwhelming anguish with deep breaths, but the more she suppressed it, the stronger the aftermath became, until her legs gave way and she slid weakly onto the marble platform.

Her forehead pressed tightly against her mother’s portrait as she wept quietly, the faint sobs swallowed by a sudden gust of wind.

Stripped of all self-protective defenses and grievances over injustices, only when facing her mother did she dare to pour everything out unreservedly.

She missed her mother. Stuck in an unending low point in life, she could only cling to the cold tombstone, begging for an embrace she would never receive again.

Just as Chi Jue had said, she couldn’t participate in Su Qiao’s earlier life. All she could do was watch helplessly as her beloved, like a child abandoned in the world by her mother, seemed capable of nothing but weeping. That sense of helplessness could only be deeply understood by those who had lost someone dear.

Her gaze fell on the name engraved on the tombstone, “Tomb of Beloved Mother Su Jinxian, Mourned by Filial Daughter Su Qiao.”

Only then did she realize that Little Bear had taken her mother’s surname, which raised another question: Where was her father?

Though she wondered, she didn’t dare to ask.

Su Qiao wiped the tears from her face haphazardly, struggling to rein in the overwhelming sorrow.

She looked pitifully at Chi Jue beside her, wanting to apologize for the embarrassing display but obediently keeping the words to herself.

Chi Jue handed her the lit incense, teasing gently, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your mom?”

The emptiness after her emotional release left Su Qiao’s mind in a daze.

She numbly took the three incense sticks, bowed to the tombstone, and honestly began the introduction: “Mom, this is my girlfriend, Chi Jue. She treats me very well. Please bless us to be together forever, and bless Grandma to live a long, healthy life.”

“Please rest assured, I will take good care of her,” Chi Jue promised softly, bowing gracefully before planting her incense in the soft soil.

When it was time to burn the paper offerings, Su Qiao instinctively shielded Chi Jue behind her. “It’s a bit cramped here. Don’t let the smoke get in your eyes, I’ll handle the burning.”

Chi Jue adored Little Bear’s constant, thoughtful care but still insisted on helping. “It’s alright. I want to do my part in showing filial respect, even if I’ve arrived late.”

The words “arrived late” struck Su Qiao’s heart softly. Not wanting Chi Jue to shoulder such unnecessary guilt, she rubbed her ear comfortingly. “We met at the right time and are right for each other. You came exactly when you were meant to, how could that be late?”

“Last night, Grandma showed me photos of your mom, but we didn’t talk about her past. I’d actually love to hear you share stories about her,” Chi Jue said, naturally shifting the conversation as she burned the last of the paper offerings.

Su Qiao exhaled the sorrow pent up in her heart, feeling weary, and sat down on the marble platform in front of the tomb.

The candle flame flickered in the gentle breeze, and the rising wisps of smoke carried her thoughts far into the unseen distance.

“I have two fathers.”

Such an opening took Chi Jue by surprise. Unbothered by the dust on the stone platform, she brushed it off casually, tightened her coat, and sat down beside Little Bear.

Wrapping her arms around that broad back, she noticed it wasn’t as upright and strong as before.

All she could do was press close to Little Bear in silence, as if their proximity could dispel the thick sorrow weighing on her grieving heart.

Su Qiao was accustomed to holding her beloved in her arms, but this time, she wearily rested her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder, borrowing strength to lighten her own burden, for what lay ahead was a long and brutal recollection.

“I’ve never met my biological father.”

According to my grandmother, my mother was pregnant with me before she got married. The man had no decent job, but she was utterly infatuated, as if under a spell, no amount of scolding or beating could drive them apart. Because of this, their relationship was never acknowledged by my grandfather.

In those days, a girl’s reputation was more important than her life. And my grandfather, being a military man, would never tolerate such a relationship. In a fit of anger, he kicked my mother out of the house.

When she was four months pregnant, the man abandoned her and ran away.

Relatives came to persuade her to swallow her pride and return home, saying that as long as she got rid of me, she could still marry into a good family.

When my grandfather forced my mother to go to the hospital for an induced abortion, my grandmother fought tooth and nail to save my life. She was the only one, besides my mother, who desperately supported bringing me into this world.

Do you understand? I came into this world unwanted by everyone.”

Chi Jue didn’t know how much courage Su Qiao had mustered to utter those words so lightly.

Her heart ached, so much that her nose reddened, and she turned her head away.

Before Su Qiao started crying, she couldn’t let herself break down first, because she was the one offering comfort. All she could do was hold the little bear’s arm tighter and tighter. “What happened after that?”

“After that? The laws back then weren’t well-established, and registering my household became a problem.

My stepfather was the most persistent among all my mother’s suitors. So persistent that people mocked him for being a ‘step-in dad,’ so persistent that he agreed to let me take my mother’s surname, and still, he was determined to be with her.

My stepfather didn’t allow my mother to work outside, so he worked year-round to support the family. I don’t know if my mother loved him, but I know he loved her deeply because he always treated me as his own daughter.

In my memories, he fulfilled every responsibility a father should. During those brief years we spent together, I experienced the purest form of a father’s love. Just think, we weren’t related by blood. How could I possibly deserve to be treated as his own?

But when I was 14, my stepfather died in a car accident on the highway. He was a long-haul truck driver. The big rig was so badly mangled that when my mother went to identify the body, there wasn’t even a whole corpse left.

Those relatives all said my mother didn’t love my stepfather, that she only settled for the marriage to give me a stable family.

But one night, my mother crawled into my bed, held me, and said she would never be happy again. That night, she cried herself to sleep.

My mother used to be a dance teacher, but after years of not working, it was hard for her to return to her old profession.

Raising me, paying for school, and covering living expenses all required money, she couldn’t keep being a burden to my grandparents. So, she started looking for work everywhere.

Eventually, she found a job as a hotel front desk clerk. She was capable and beautiful, and she quickly got promoted to manager. Occasional business dinners slowly turned into her being away from home for long periods, but our family’s income gradually increased.

Just as our lives were starting to improve, fate dealt us another heavy blow.

My mother fell ill, advanced stomach cancer.

The whole family kept it from me. I only found out the day after I finished my college entrance exams. The doctor said she had less than three months to live.

I watched her deteriorate day by day. At first, she could still manage a bowl of porridge, but later, she couldn’t eat anything at all. That once so beautiful woman ended up nothing but skin and bones.

In August, she begged the attending physician to increase her chemotherapy dosage, just so she could accompany me to register at the Police University.

As she looked at the school’s grand and solemn entrance gate, she patted my shoulder and said, ‘It’s wonderful, we’ve finally made it through.’

But it wasn’t wonderful. Not at all.”

Su Qiao choked back sobs, covering her face as she wept quietly.

Chi Jue held her head, at a loss for what to do. Why did the person she loved have to endure so much suffering? “Let’s stop talking, alright? Let’s go home, please?”

Su Qiao shook her head, steadied her warm, tearful breaths, and pulled out a faded, peeling bank card from her pocket. The story continued its descent into despair.

“Mom passed away that winter. She held on for three months but didn’t make it through the year.

She deliberately didn’t let me come back to see her one last time.

Before she died, she told my grandmother that she hoped my memory of her would always be of her at her most beautiful.

But that’s my regret.

I’ve questioned myself countless times, if Su Qiao, whom the world never welcomed, had never been born, would Su Jinxian be living the life she truly wanted?

She wouldn’t have had to struggle to make ends meet raising me. Maybe she’d still be dancing gracefully on the stage she loved, or perhaps she’d be happily settled with a romantic man, living a fulfilling family life.

She shouldn’t have had me. Sacrificing her short life for me, it was never worth it.

That year, her illness drained almost all of our family’s savings. Even though public universities don’t charge exorbitant tuition fees, daily living still required a significant amount of money.

I relied on my grandparents’ pensions to get through my four years of college.

The little luck I’ve had in my life was probably all used up when I managed to join the Criminal Investigation Center.

My grandparents were getting older, and living in the old house was inconvenient. I worked relentlessly, striving for case-solving achievements, saving every bit of my salary, dreaming of one day having enough for a down payment on a house so they could live in a better environment sooner.

But my grandfather didn’t live to see that day, leaving only my grandmother and me to rely on each other.

Just as life was starting to look up again, the number of people in this home kept dwindling.

I’m terrified, terrified that one day my grandmother might pass away too, and then I’d truly be all alone in this world.

Time waits for no one. She’s suffered her whole life, and I want her to enjoy peace and comfort in the days she has left.

So, I became trapped in the anxiety of working, saving, and buying a house, unable to break free from this single-minded focus.

Just when I’d saved over a hundred thousand, housing prices soared, and the down payment became an astronomical figure.

I thought I’d just work a few more years. Hardship, if you endure it long enough, sweetness will eventually come.

But I messed it all up. Completely messed it up.”

Su Qiao clutched her chest, her breathing growing rapid. Perhaps it was heart-wrenching regret, or perhaps it was the overwhelming release of a lifetime’s worth of suffering, her emotions began spiraling out of control.

“Su Qiao, what’s wrong?” Chi Jue’s tears fell silently; she hadn’t yet emerged from the sorrow of the story. Startled by Su Qiao’s suddenly ragged breaths, she anxiously smoothed the air over Su Qiao’s chest, trying to calm her. “Let’s stop talking… please, no more…”

Su Qiao’s deeply suppressed past was suffocating her. Even as a listener, it was unbearably difficult, how much more so for the one who had lived through it? It was impossible to fathom the weight of pain she had carried with every step through the years, or how she had managed to endure it all.

“No… I’ve kept this hidden for too long. I can’t deceive my love any longer. Please let me finish.” Su Qiao didn’t want Chi Jue to leave her embrace, as if afraid that after confessing the truth about causing her teammate’s death, Chi Jue would become a stranger.

That fear enveloped her in an icy chill. She needed enough warmth from her beloved to gather the courage to tear open the old scar in her heart.

“The person we just visited is named Ao Miao. She’s Ao Yu’s sister and used to be a detective in the criminal investigation team.

This happened during a raid two years ago.

It was Miaomiao’s first year on the team, her first time participating in such a major arrest operation. Since she was under my command, she followed me during the mission.

The main force assembled at Seventeenth Harbor. Following Ji Nanxing’s instructions, we were the second team on standby, not responsible for the frontal assault.

At that time, both sides engaged in intense gunfire, and the scene was complete chaos. Without receiving any orders, I took my team and infiltrated the firefight to provide support.

The chaotic gunfire quickly scattered my team. Ao Miao and I saw the wounded gang leader flee into the narrow passage between shipping containers.

I became selfish, if we could capture him quickly, it wouldn’t just be about the reward money. Maybe it would mean rapid career advancement.

Miaomiao followed me into the passage. The stacked container pathways were like a maze as we navigated through, searching for the gang leader.

Unexpectedly, others were lying in ambush. It was a trap, they deliberately lured the police into it.

At a corner, Miaomiao rushed ahead of me. I couldn’t stop her in time… the bullets all hit her… her blood, I was covered in her blood.

We rushed her to the hospital. We reached the emergency room entrance, but she didn’t make it.

Because of my selfish desire, I caused the death of the person who trusted me most. She came from what was once a happy, complete family…”

Su Qiao stared numbly into the distance, mechanically recalling that moment. Her mind retained only the sticky, bloody red, Ao Miao’s blood had splattered on her face, blurring her vision.

She stood as still as wood, but the hand holding the card was clenched with all her strength, silently expressing her confused fragility.

“I was punished by being transferred to the traffic police headquarters as a patrol officer. Everyone blamed me for being too eager for success. Ao Yu and his parents hate me to the bone. The pointing fingers and gossip followed me day after day.

The stain on me is blood-red, I can never wash it clean in this lifetime.

I couldn’t find a better way to compensate, so I took all my savings, including my grandmother’s pension money stored there, and gave it all to Ao Yu.

I know, no amount of money can bring back a life.

They wouldn’t forgive me, so they returned all the money, using it to deepen my guilt. That’s why you saw what happened today.

Miaomiao was so young, her future was so long… but now everything’s gone. She’s gone, my determination to have my grandmother live in a new house is gone too. I’ve just been drifting through life in a daze.

Someone like me has nothing left. There’s no way I can climb to great heights in the future. I can’t imagine how much courage and excellence I’d need to reach your level.

That night, An Jiaqin said many things. The provocation was real, the humiliation was real too. But stripping away those superficial layers, every word she said was filled with truth.”

Crossing social classes? Just dream a little more during the day, dreams have everything you could wish for.

Looking back at the hardships of half a lifetime, it seemed every word and sentence whispered: Su Qiao, you’re not worthy of Chi Jue. Su Qiao, don’t hold her back. Su Qiao, you should know your place.

“I’m like a jinx. Anyone who gets involved with me ends up with nothing good. I really shouldn’t have been born into this world.”

Su Qiao laughed at herself, her lips twisting as if she wanted to cry but had no tears left.

She didn’t blame her mother for fighting to give birth to her, didn’t blame the relatives who tried to dissuade her, didn’t blame the father who abandoned her before they’d even met, didn’t blame the setbacks that repeatedly dashed her hopes just as life began to improve, and certainly didn’t blame Ao Miao for charging ahead of her.

She could only blame herself, so much so that, in the end, she believed her very existence was an inherent mistake.

So, she began to question whether she was a curse, fearing that one day she might drag the innocent Chi Jue into the troubles she brought.

Chi Jue pressed her forehead against Su Qiao’s, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. She shook her head desperately, trying to steady her lover’s crumbling courage.

“No! I won’t allow you to speak of yourself like that!

No one’s life is smooth sailing forever, and no one suffers endlessly.

For every hardship you’ve endured, I will sweeten your life bit by bit. I will stand by you to face every injustice and heal every sorrow.

You are no longer alone. The moment you shared your happiness with me, you destined me to share your pain.

I love you, I love all of you, wholeheartedly and unconditionally, even the parts you see as broken.”

Chi Jue was like a blazing sun, yet also a beam of moonlight in a lonely night, quietly illuminating Su Qiao’s desolate existence.

From the day they first met, into a future full of promise.