Did the Tsundere Miss Get Slapped in the Face Again Today? - Chapter 40

Chapter 40: “Fearing That Love Will ultimately Lead to Harm.”

 

The houses in the old residential area had almost no soundproofing; every movement outside the door could be heard clearly.

 

The person had left, the door was closed, but no footsteps indicating she was going downstairs followed.

 

Lin Anran was still outside the door.

 

Jiang Zhi stared at the door, her eyes vacant and helpless.

 

Time passed minute by minute, until footsteps finally sounded at the door, gradually moving away, and the subtle sound of her descending the stairs finally reached her ears, before disappearing entirely.

 

She was gone.

 

Jiang Zhi slowly lowered her head, looking blankly at the floor.

 

Lin Anran stopped at the door for over ten minutes without leaving. What was she thinking during those ten minutes? Was she waiting for the person inside to open the door and ask her to stay?

 

But unfortunately, Jiang Zhi was a coward. She failed her wait, didn’t have the courage to open that door, and didn’t even have the courage to walk to the window to watch her leave.

 

She dared not look, afraid that one glance would make her completely unable to let go.

 

It was fortunate that Lin Anran was not the type of person who easily bowed her head, and that she was proud and stubborn. Otherwise, if she had insisted on staying, Jiang Zhi truly wasn’t confident that she could have remained resolute.

 

The one-bedroom apartment was filled with the various pink furniture Lin Anran had acquired, making it crowded, yet strangely empty.

 

The cramped rented room was utterly silent, like an existence forgotten by the world.

 

She had rehearsed Lin Anran’s departure countless times. Now that the day had actually come, it seemed okay. The sky didn’t fall, the earth didn’t collapse, and she didn’t even feel like crying.

 

The only feeling was maybe sleeplessness.

 

She turned off the light, closed her eyes, but her mind was clear, and she felt no drowsiness.

 

Checking the time, it was already four in the morning. She sat up from the sofa. As for why she wasn’t sleeping in her room…

 

Because she didn’t dare.

 

She was afraid of smelling her scent, afraid of seeing the traces of her having lived there. Although every corner of this house was filled with the traces of Lin Anran’s presence, there was nowhere to hide.

 

What should one do when they can’t sleep and are in a bad mood?

 

Smoke? She didn’t like the smell of smoke and didn’t smoke.

 

Drink? She didn’t like the taste of alcohol and didn’t drink.

 

Play games? She got motion sickness from 3D games. Watch TV or read novels? She had no interest in those things.

 

Get together with a few close friends? She didn’t seem to have any genuine, close friends.

 

The only friend she had was driven away a few hours ago.

 

Jiang Zhi gave a self-mocking smile.

 

Her life was truly dull. She couldn’t even find a way to vent or entertain herself. How did she live through the past twenty-five years before Lin Anran appeared?

 

Suddenly, she couldn’t quite recall how she used to live. Yet, she had only known Lin Anran for less than half a year.

 

A brief half a year had eclipsed the previous twenty-five years—twenty-five years of boredom.

 

Her only interest was perhaps money: earning money diligently, saving money diligently, and being thrifty diligently.

 

She envisioned that once she saved enough money, she wouldn’t need to rent and could have her own little nest. She imagined no longer having to ride her scooter exposed to the wind and sun, but having a vehicle to shield her from the elements.

 

Her past life had been a struggle for these things. Ordinary abilities, ordinary vision, ordinary dreams.

 

How could an ordinary person like her compare with the moon in the sky?

 

Perhaps Lin Anran would never understand how a commoner like her survived, but a princess didn’t need to understand these things.

 

The hardships of daily life—the bitter, pungent, and sour realities—were compulsory lessons for people like Jiang Zhi. The princess shouldn’t suffer this; she only needed to remain unstained by the dust of life.

 

Unable to sleep, time felt excruciatingly slow.

 

She got up and went to the kitchen, wanting to pour some water. While reaching for a cup, she saw a bottle of beer on the side.

 

She didn’t drink alcohol. The reason there was a bottle of beer here was that Lin Anran had casually asked her a few days ago, “Can you make beer duck?”

 

Lin Anran just asked on a whim, but Jiang Zhi bought a bottle of beer and various ingredients the next day.

 

As for the main ingredient, duck, she went to the supermarket but thought it wasn’t fresh enough. She planned to check the wet market later, but because of that delay, she never got to make the beer duck.

 

“Pata”

 

Jiang Zhi popped open the beer can, tilted her head back, and took a sip.

 

The coldness and the bitter taste of alcohol made Jiang Zhi frown.

 

Drowning her sorrows in alcohol was not suitable for her.

 

As she put down the beer can, the phone in the living room “ding-donged”.

 

Jiang Zhi turned her head, her heart abruptly leaping with the sound of the ding-dong.

 

Taking a deep breath, she walked over and picked up the phone.

 

After seeing who the message was from, she let out a bitter, relieved sigh.

 

What was she still hoping for? She had driven her away; did she expect her to send another message?

 

Lin Anran was such a proud person, a high and mighty young miss. She waited at the door for over ten minutes without being invited to stay. Things were cut clean. Lin Anran would not look back.

 

She and her.

 

It was completely over.

 

Jiang Zhi clicked on her phone’s notes app. Every night before going to sleep, she used to record her daily expenses, detailing amounts as small as five cents or one yuan.

 

However, today she wasn’t recording cold numbers, but leaving a passage as if writing a diary.

 

December 23rd, she left.

 

December 24th, Christmas Eve. I wonder if she ate an apple.

 

December 25th, Christmas Day. The Santa hat I bought arrived. She said I bought it too late and was afraid it wouldn’t make it in time. It made it in time, but she won’t have the chance to wear it.

 

January 1st, it’s a new year. I made beer duck, following the recipe. It failed. It tastes awful. Fortunately…

 

The memo that originally recorded her daily expenses had, at some point, turned into her diary.

 

But her life was very uninteresting, and there didn’t seem to be much to record.

 

At the magazine, with Lin Anran, the nominal manager, gone, Jiang Zhi was transferred back to her original department.

 

Work continued as usual. She was quite adaptable. Sometimes, feeling she had too little work, she would intentionally take on extra tasks.

 

When she was busy, she had no time to think too much.

 

“Knock-knock”

 

A colleague came to her side and tapped on her desk.

 

Jiang Zhi pulled away from the dense text on the computer screen and looked up blankly: “What is it? Is there more work you need help with?”

 

The colleague smiled and shook her head: “There’s nothing left. You’ve enthusiastically helped me with half of my work these past few days. Thank you. The issues I have at home have made me unable to focus on work. I’m lucky to have your help these past few days.”

 

Jiang Zhi replied awkwardly: “It’s nothing. You’ve helped me a lot in the past too.”

 

“How can that be the same? I only helped you with small things. You’ve helped me immensely. I’m not the type to completely take advantage. I’m treating you to dinner after work today as a thank you.”

 

“There’s no need…”

 

“No need for what? You have to come. Every time I invite you, you refuse. This time, there’s no way you can refuse. It’s settled, see you after work.”

 

She walked off after saying that.

 

Jiang Zhi didn’t get a chance to say the rest of her sentence: “I have a part-time job after work.”

 

She sighed. Never mind. She would just ask Xiaoman to cover her shift for a day. Plus, her colleague had indeed invited her out many times before. Constantly refusing made her seem a bit unsociable.

 

At the BBQ restaurant.

 

The colleague was in charge of eating, and Jiang Zhi was in charge of grilling, all while listening to the colleague talk about her disobedient child, her husband who shirked all responsibilities, and her in-laws who were overly frugal and wouldn’t let them turn on the air conditioning in winter…

 

In short, it was the common, messy reality of everyday life.

 

Everyone seemed to live a chaotic life.

 

Jiang Zhi had no plans to marry and didn’t even consider romantic love a necessity, so she couldn’t empathize with topics about her colleague’s child and husband. She could only politely nod and agree occasionally.

 

When the colleague spoke of a heartbreaking matter, she downed a mouthful of beer.

 

“Be careful how much you drink. Just eat the BBQ. I can’t carry you if you get drunk,” Jiang Zhi advised.

 

“Why aren’t you drinking at all?” the colleague asked, puzzled.

 

“I don’t drink alcohol.”

 

“I find you incredibly dull. You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t play games, you don’t watch TV, you barely even shop online. You usually just make an appearance at company gatherings and leave right on time, and I can never get you to hang out. What do you do all day, aren’t you bored?”

 

Jiang Zhi picked up a piece of grilled meat, put it in her mouth, and chewed it without much flavor: “I’m busy earning money every day. I don’t have time to be bored.”

 

The colleague poured a glass of wine: “Listen to me. All your part-time jobs only bring in small change; you won’t get rich that way. You need to learn to enjoy life and live in the moment.”

 

Jiang Zhi’s hand holding the chopsticks paused. Live in the moment?

 

Jiang Zhi shook her head and smiled, a touch of self-mockery in it.

 

It wasn’t that she didn’t dare to live in the moment; she also had the urge to be reckless.

 

She even considered that if Lin Anran liked her only out of novelty, she would eventually get tired of her, just as she got tired of instant noodles and coffee.

 

Even if that were the case, it wouldn’t matter.

 

Lin Anran could get tired, and Jiang Zhi was willing to accompany her for a while, withdrawing discreetly the moment she got tired.

 

If it were only a question of getting tired or having an outcome, those were minor issues.

 

The big problem was that Jiang Zhi feared that one day, through daily interaction, her mindset would gradually become twisted.

 

Just recently, she had entertained the thought of wishing Lin Anran wasn’t Lin Anran, wishing Lin Anran wasn’t so outstanding, wishing to pull Lin Anran down from her high place, making her ordinary, just like herself.

 

Vile thoughts surfaced from her heart like an instinct.

 

Jiang Zhi had analyzed her mindset; the essence stemmed from inferiority.

 

If this inferiority was only internalized, it would, at most, result in self-consumption, or, viewed positively, could inspire one to strive harder. But she was afraid that one day this inferiority would be directed outward.

 

Jiang Zhi feared a day when she couldn’t control her mentality and it completely twisted. After the affection faded, it would turn into a sharp blade, striking the person she once loved.

 

She was afraid that love would ultimately lead to harming Lin Anran.

 

The BBQ meal ended with the colleague drinking herself senseless, while Jiang Zhi ate very little meat.

 

Jiang Zhi sighed, looking at her colleague acting drunk on the floor. She couldn’t just leave her, so she struggled to help the person up.

 

She half-helped, half-dragged her out of the BBQ restaurant and stood by the road to hail a taxi.

 

The cold wind whipped against her face. She didn’t see a taxi for a long time, but she did see a familiar black, extended luxury car.

 

The luxury car stopped at her feet, and the window slowly lowered, revealing a perfectly proportioned face.

 

Unseen for many days, she was still the same: neatly styled, soft, curly long hair, exquisite makeup, with upturned eyes carrying an innate pride.

 

And Jiang Zhi was still Jiang Zhi: slightly disheveled, holding onto her drunk colleague, the oily smoke smell of the BBQ still lingering on her bulky cotton coat.