Did Assistant Xie Make the Trending Searches Today? - Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Ridiculous

Xie He-ting’s plan to find someone to practice chatting with was aborted.

Just as Xie He-ting enthusiastically caught his first lucky victim—Lan Chi, who loved wandering aimlessly around the villa—intending to add him on WeChat and practice the voice-to-text function, Lan Chi’s phone happened to ring.

The phones they were currently using were all provided by the production team.

Sending invitations to their preferred date partners via computer in the Date Hut was meant to add a sense of ceremony to the act, but all subsequent results would be notified via text message.

Hearing the notification tone, Lan Chi inevitably felt a bit nervous.

“Oh my god, it couldn’t be the text, could it?”

Xie He-ting already knew the result—that no one would likely ask him out—so he was particularly calm. “Then take a quick look.”

The selection results came out so fast? Isn’t the Love Assistant supposed to notify them?

It’s over, Chi-chi’s face looks bad. I feel like he was rejected.

Lan Chi’s originally sunny face clearly turned from “sunny to overcast” after reading the text. He lowered his head dejectedly, looking as if he were about to cry: “He really didn’t choose me, wuwu…”

The content of the text Lan Chi received was very simple:

“We regret to inform you that the partner you selected did not select you. To ensure the date proceeds normally, you may choose [1. Abstain], [2. Change date partner]. Please reply to this message within three minutes, otherwise it will be considered an automatic abstention.”

Lan Chi buried his head in Xie He-ting’s embrace and burst into tears with a “waa.”

Sigh, poor kid. Brother Jin, you really are a man of your word!

Damn, Lan Chi is so pitiful, such a sprout of bad luck.

Wait a minute!!! Something is wrong! Look at the live streams of the other guests; everyone received a text!

That’s right!

The production team was making trouble again.

Except for Xie He-ting, who was deemed to have automatically abstained because he typed gibberish, all the other guests received the exact same rejection text.

The viewers, possessing a God’s-eye view, immediately understood the production team’s little scheme.

The production team has snatched every last bamboo shoot on the mountain (is being ruthless); they really went there.

It’s obviously a bluff. If someone just wanted more screen time for the date, they might choose someone else as a backup.

I actually think it’s pretty good. Although it’s a bit underhanded, it makes for a much better watch. I’m already looking forward to everyone’s final choices.

As wicked as the production team was, the effect was indeed excellent.

Watching a “Shura Field” is an instinct carved into the DNA of the onlookers. After the texts were sent, the number of online viewers hit a new high. Everyone was discussing the upcoming plot direction, and for a while, even the bickering between fan bases decreased significantly.

I’ll venture a guess: He-ting is definitely out of luck. According to the script, he should be the one left out this time. I just don’t know how the other guests will pair up. Haha, what if there isn’t a single pair?

How is that possible? What’s the difference between that and a TV show where the protagonist dies as soon as they walk out the door? You can’t just end the entire series right there.

Exactly, if no one successfully holds hands, the show becomes a joke.

There’s a script to back it up, don’t worry.

Makes sense.

Soon, it was time to announce the list.

Mu Ying was already waiting for everyone in the living room.

As the Love Assistant, he knew the schedule of the show’s segments.

Therefore, he naturally knew why several guests had unpleasant expressions on their faces.

The atmosphere on site was both tense and hilarious.

For example, Jin Huaifeng kept shooting “eye daggers” at Xie He-ting, making Xie shrink his neck the whole way, almost retreating into the corner of the sofa.

A staff member came over and handed the list for tomorrow’s dates to Mu Ying.

To prove absolute fairness and that no guest had suddenly changed their selection, Mu Ying had not seen this list in advance. It was delivered in a sealed envelope only now.

“Now, let me announce the situation of tomorrow’s date guests to everyone.”

He opened the card in his hand. After seeing the content, his expression was one of surprise.

Mu Ying read it over two or three times to confirm there was no mistake, then made a “pause” gesture.

“Wait a moment, I feel like this list was given incorrectly. I’m going to ask.”

What’s going on?

What happened?

Mu Ying’s expression looks a bit strange; did the staff mess up?

The people present were a bit stunned and looked at each other.

Tsk tsk, can’t you see it yet? It’s a deliberate effect for the show. Film Emperor Mu, your acting marks are too heavy.

Film Emperor? Just for this?

Mu Ying’s fans were also very formidable. Someone immediately came out to refute that comment: Your ID looks familiar; you’re the one being a contrarian every single time. Are you a staff member of the production team?

That commenter was not to be outdone: You dare say this isn’t acting? What kind of show would do this? Wouldn’t staff members check the list before giving it? Does that seem reasonable to you?

In a bit, Mu Ying will definitely come back and say who was chosen, then hype up the ratings.

I’ll leave my words right here: if this isn’t a script, I’ll livestream myself eating shit!

Soon, Mu Ying returned with a strange expression, clearly having already had a round of negotiation with the staff.

“Uh… Next, I will announce the results of tomorrow’s date guests.”

Wen Zhou glanced at Zhou Yanrong. Zhou Yanrong was leaning relaxed against the sofa, his gaze not meeting Wen Zhou’s.

Shi Jixing was expressionless, forming a sharp contrast with Jin Huaifeng, who had his arms crossed and a foul face.

Lan Chi was staring resentfully at Jin Huaifeng.

Shen Ji and Xie He-ting were the ones with the calmest expressions.

Brother Mu, hurry up! Someone upstairs is waiting to livestream eating shit.

“I regret to tell everyone…”

Everyone looked at Mu Ying.

Mu Ying took a deep breath and announced the result: “For tomorrow’s date—no guests successfully chose each other.”

The living room fell into a strange silence, within which a tiny hint of embarrassment permeated.

The bullet chat also froze for a moment; some people even thought their ears were playing tricks on them.

Then, rows of bullet comments scrambled to fill the entire screen.

???

Is this reasonable?

I don’t care if it’s reasonable or not. To the person who said there’s a script, give me your livestream ID; I’m waiting to watch you eat.

The first date of a dating show, and everyone failed???

“Um… seeing this result, I also find it quite inconceivable. So, does anyone have anything they want to say?” Mu Ying spread his hands and handed the cards to them.

The expressions of the group were indeed beyond description.

This was truly “Outrageous’s mother opening the door for Outrageous”—outrageous to the max.

Even Mu Ying couldn’t help but ask: Is this reasonable?

How could these guests be so “good” at choosing? Seven people couldn’t even pick out two who could date; the level of tacit understanding was a straight zero.

He almost wanted to say the classic line: “You are the worst batch I’ve ever led!”

“Alright, now I need to discuss with the director’s team how to handle this. Everyone is free to move around. Due to the accident, tonight’s housing arrangements will continue from last night.”

Xie He-ting was originally quite happy; everyone had failed their selections, so his guilt toward Zhou Yanrong was a bit less. Hearing Mu Ying’s “tonight’s housing will continue from last night,” his back stiffened. He felt a gust of chilly wind blow from the soles of his feet to the back of his heart, making him shiver in the heat of the day.

He raised his head tremblingly and met those deep eyes. Although the other person’s expression was calm and his gaze steady, because Xie He-ting had a guilty conscience, that calm gaze took on a different, deeper meaning in his heart.

Great. His wonderful mood from having just learned voice typing was not sunny at all anymore.

If Little Xie had read a short poem written by Mr. Zang Kejia for Mr. Lu Xun, there would be one line that could very aptly describe his current mood:

“Some people are living, but they are already dead.”*

Because of the production team’s “showy” operation and the unexpected date results, the atmosphere in the villa was a bit low. Xie He-ting was just looking for an excuse to avoid the trouble when he saw a certain someone also stand up as soon as he left his seat.

Jin Huaifeng had a long waist and long legs, walking with an air of authority. Seeing there was no sound behind him, he turned his head slightly to glance at him.

Xie He-ting hesitated for a long while, but eventually stepped forward to follow.

Damn, so domineering.

??? You guys call this domineering? What’s their relationship? Bossing him around—is Little Xie his slave?

In front of the screen, “Eight Hundred Morons” watched the dozens of bullet comments scolding Jin Huaifeng, and typed calmly while holding a cigarette holder: 【It’s just “interest” (playful intimacy) between a young couple.

Moron-bro, if your account was hacked, just pout your lips.

Eight Hundred rolled his eyes at this comment.

If you don’t use your eyes, you can donate them.

Jin Huaifeng’s attitude toward He-ting was clearly because they were getting “real”! Fine. If he guessed wrong, he’d change his name to Moron for good.

No matter how long the road, there is an end.

Jin Huaifeng showed unprecedented patience, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, quietly watching Xie He-ting crawl along like a turtle.

Just as Xie He-ting was hesitating over whether to lift his left foot or right foot first, a crisp female voice suddenly cut in from behind.

Lan Chi angrily shoved himself between the two of them, his beautiful eyes watery as if he were about to cry. He slapped Jin Huaifeng’s arm with a “pa”: “You bastard, why didn’t you choose me!”

Thank God, thank the Great Jade Emperor!

Xie He-ting rejoiced in his heart. Before Jin Huaifeng’s sharp gaze could pin him to the spot, he slipped away like he had oil on his feet.

Wow, the original owner’s physical fitness was so much better than his own; he could hear the wind whistling as he ran!

Seeing Xie He-ting run so fast he almost left an afterimage, Jin Huaifeng’s face soured at a speed visible to the naked eye.

If anger could turn into energy, he could probably de-evolve into a Tyrannosaurus Rex right now and stomp them one by one without hesitation.

Lan Chi was still there, being relentless: “Jin Huaifeng! Who did you choose? Was it He-ting!”

Hearing Lan Chi’s noisy voice and seeing his angry face, Jin Huaifeng’s expression darkened.

What was Lan Chi angry about? He was the one being pestered, okay?

“Who I chose is none of your business.”

“You!” Lan Chi stared at him indignantly.

Jin Huaifeng’s expression grew colder and colder.

Under his completely unfeeling gaze, Lan Chi could no longer hold it back. A layer of mist rose over his beautiful green eyes, and tears rolled down his fair, tender cheeks. He burst out crying with a “wu”: “How can you be like this? I participated in this show specifically for you. Can’t you just look at me? Can’t you choose me? Wu…”

Jin Huaifeng had a “dog temper”—he responded to gentleness but not to force. If someone went head-to-head with him, he would absolutely be harder than them.

But once Lan Chi started crying, Jin Huaifeng felt quite a headache.

The Lan family and the Jin family were distant relatives.

This kid had been thin and small since childhood. The Jin family had many people, including several “devil kings.” Lan Chi looked like a porcelain doll, and those troublesome bullies in the house insisted on pulling his hair, leading to fights.

Jin Huaifeng had performed a daily act of kindness and stepped in to help. It was just a casual thing he didn’t take to heart, but who would have thought it would invite a “peach blossom debt” (unwanted romantic entanglement).

Sigh! Being handsome meant being destined to suffer more than others.

And such suffering, he had already endured for 28 years.

Pitiful.

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